The role of the grandmother in raising a child consultation (junior, middle, senior groups) on the topic. The role of grandmother in education

Once upon a time there lived a mother and father and they had a son and daughter. While dad and mom worked tirelessly, grandma looked after the children. She told her grandchildren stories, baked them pies and took them to music. And everyone lived cheerfully, well and amicably. A familiar tale, isn't it? A real idyll. Is everything this easy in real life?

It is difficult to imagine the life of children without the participation of grandparents. This is probably largely due to our traditions, because in the West grandmothers do not have that much influence on the upbringing of children. On the contrary, a modern foreign grandmother is an independent and “separate” person. Having retired, she and her grandfather, of course, finally get the chance to realize their dreams and truly live for themselves.

Of course, it also happens in our country that it is almost impossible to persuade a grandmother to sit with a child, and her role in different families is not the same, but most often there are grandmothers who are absolutely traditional for our culture...

"Children to the end, grandchildren to the end"

Rarely does a mother make it to dance clubs or sports sections. What can we say about dads? In the corridors of the Palaces of Culture and other children's entertainment and educational institutions, it is mainly grandmothers who are waiting for children to return from classes. So the most common one in our everyday reality is the selfless and sacrificial grandmother. As soon as children have families, grandmothers are already expecting grandchildren and, as soon as these expectations are met, they begin vigorous activity. And how would young parents manage without this activity! After all, they have neither experience nor time.

As a rule, with the birth of a child, the mother leaves work, but not for long. And as soon as workdays resume, she, of course, prefers to leave the baby with his grandmother rather than send him to a nursery or entrust him to the care of a nanny. Who, if not the grandmother, will give the child so much care, affection and tenderness, who will look after him more carefully, preventing all his desires and whims, who will spare no time and effort to cook his favorite dishes and read his favorite books? But, oddly enough, it is from this moment that conflicts and misunderstandings begin.

Very soon the mother begins to feel that the grandmother is “pulling the blanket over herself.” A minimum of prohibitions - and the child goes over to the grandmother’s side! Mom is left with the role of a gendarme, who, in the short hours after work, tries to restore order and discipline. True, all this will be destroyed again tomorrow morning after she leaves. What can we say about the fact that grandmothers are much less strict than parents! Sometimes young mothers and fathers regard their upbringing as anti-education! Like one continuous pampering, indulgence in whims, inhibition of the development and formation of his personality. Disagreements often develop into confrontations, which are best characterized by the saying “a scythe hits a stone.”

With good intentions...

Situations where the struggle on both sides is waged solely out of good intentions are perhaps the most difficult. The motivation of both parents and grandmothers is the same - the desire for the good of the child. Moms and dads want to raise him smart, well-mannered and purposeful, in a word - successful. Their educational ideas are directed forward into the future. In addition, for them, a child is also an arena for satisfying ambitions. It is very important and pleasant to realize that their precious child reads the best, eats the most and jumps the highest. Grandmothers are much more loyal to their grandchildren. They are more concerned about today's problems. Concerns, mood and health of the child now, and not someday, when he grows up, graduates from university and makes a brilliant career. For a person with life experience, simple joys, which are not so many in life, and the carelessness of childhood, which will never be repeated, are immeasurably more valuable than any long-term - even the best - goals.

Colliding in everyday life, these two models of behavior turn out to be almost incompatible. While the child is small—up to three years old—the dialogue between grandmothers and parents is still developing. When the toddler gets older, parents try to teach him to be independent. For a grandmother, a grandson or granddaughter still remains crumbs who need to be spoon-fed, their hands washed, and placed on a potty.

With certain variations, this situation is quite typical for those families where the grandmother takes a large part in raising children. As a result, the children are disoriented - while their parents are at work, they can be real capricious “dolls,” but as soon as mom and dad cross the threshold of the apartment, they urgently need to transform into child prodigies and accelerators?! If the grandmother lives separately and the children spent the weekend with her, then on Sunday evening, instead of your precocious adults and independent children, you will find tomboys and lazy people, devouring unlimited quantities of sweets, scattering candy wrappers and apple cores everywhere, which the touched grandmother collects and throws away ...What should I do?

The Downside of Connivance

While children are small, they, of course, are so attached to their grandmother who pampers them that their parents even have to be jealous of them. However, as the child gets older, he himself feels the need for independence, he develops his own ambitions, he wants to seem like an adult. And this is where grandmothers, who have taught their grandchildren to be permissive and forgiving, risk losing their authority. Or, what is actually much worse, the child may actually “sit on her neck and dangle her legs,” without even showing due respect to her. This is primarily a blow for the grandmothers themselves. They have invested so much effort, time and emotions in their grandchildren that they consider themselves entitled to expect respect, gratitude and sympathy from them! But, unfortunately, it is not so easy to straighten out such a neglected situation. And it would seem surprising, but despite the obvious calculation of events that are not the most pleasant for grandmothers, from generation to generation they continue to endlessly spoil their grandchildren.

What are grandmothers made of?

Why do grandmothers spoil their grandchildren so much? What is the reason for their endless devotion and dedication? Alternatively, it can be assumed that they subconsciously resist their grandson growing up. For an elderly person, especially if he has retired and lost his usual way of life that has developed over the years, it is important not to lose his sense of self-confidence, necessity and significance. At least for the family. How else can you prove yourself if not by helping raise your grandchildren? Unfortunately, health problems for grandmothers are not uncommon, but this only strengthens their desire to take on as much of the burden of raising and caring for the baby as possible. So they try to prove to themselves and others that they are still capable of much. And then, for grandmothers, grandchildren are truly the joy of life, a ray of light, a holiday in the middle of everyday life, for whom it is not a pity to give everything in the world just to see a sunny smile and hear a ringing laugh.

We don’t often think about how and what our grandmothers feel. Why does their concern sometimes overflow?.. Maybe if we didn’t spend so much effort fighting the effect - grandma’s excessive loyalty, but tried to quietly influence the cause - grandma’s desire to be necessary and be useful, there would be more sense ?

A grandmother, who does not need to prove her necessity and influence, who does not need to compete with parents in who can dress and feed the child better, will not spoil him too much. Everything will be balanced and the grown-up children will not sit on her neck.

Creativity of pets

However, no matter how much we resist our grandmother’s principles of upbringing, it is they who, as it turns out, provide the opportunity to develop the creative abilities of our children much better than any reasonable and correct parental theories. That permissiveness, which seems harmful and relaxing to us, creates a favorable environment for completely unconventional ideas and undertakings. A person accustomed to freedom of action will be free both in thoughts and in creativity. An employee of the Institute of Psychology of the Russian Academy of Sciences, Tatyana Tikhomirova, conducted a series of experiments in a regular elementary school, which fully confirmed that grandmothers' favorites have developed creative thinking much better than their peers, who for one reason or another are deprived of grandmother's affection. Even their notorious IQ turned out to be significantly higher. The children who are pampered by our mothers and fathers are completely devoid of thinking stereotypes. For example, when completing a picture at the request of a researcher, which already contains an obvious version of the ending, they come up with the most fantastic plots. And the children, who are raised only by their mother and father, finished the drawing in a completely standard way. “Parents express their unrealized dreams and desires through their children. And grandmothers listen carefully to the desires and dreams of the child himself,” says Tatyana Tikhomirova. The point here is probably not so much whether the child has close contact with his grandmother or not, but rather the fact that the child whose close people support his tendency to make bold, non-standard decisions grows up creatively. In general, this is a note for us, parents!

Back to the childhood

“Baba, I miss you so much,” my five-year-old daughter says to her grandmother on the phone. They will see each other in a couple of days, on the weekend. And while I will spend my weekend on the adult household chores that have accumulated over the week, my daughter will be able to fully enjoy her childhood - with her grandmother. Finally, they will play their cherished secret games, tell each other stories and dreams, take a walk in the park, where they can do whatever they want. Finally, it will be possible to lie in bed in the morning as much as you want, scatter toys and crumble colored paper into small pieces throughout the apartment. You will be able to draw with paints while sitting at the kitchen table, watching your grandmother making pies right next to you with her hands white with flour, watch cartoons for at least half a day and not even finish the soup at lunch! And in the evening, falling asleep sweetly, listen to fairy tales. Fairy tales that can only be heard in childhood. Grandmother's tales. Fairy tales with happy endings.

Advice, recommendations, criticism, instructions for caring for a baby - our mothers and mothers-in-law have no equal in this. And this is an eternally burning topic. ? For full development, a child needs to communicate with relatives of different generations. The role of grandmother in raising grandchildren important, but must be dosed.

What determines the role of a grandmother in raising her grandchildren?

The participation of grandmothers in the lives of their grandchildren is a Russian tradition from time immemorial. Psychologists assure: the role of grandmothers is directly related to the attitude of the child’s parents towards the older generation. The kid doesn’t care that his beloved grandmother is also a picky mother-in-law or an unloved mother-in-law. Young people must take into account the age-related characteristics of the psyche of older people and be respectful of them and these inevitable circumstances. In order to pursue a unified “policy” for raising a child, it is necessary to create and maintain smooth, friendly relationships with older family members.

Often conflicts on various issues between generations arise when living side by side in the same territory. That is why family counseling specialist, psychologist M.E. Litvak is categorical: children should be had when future parents have their own housing, sufficient income and have acquired a profession. The mistress of the house, who provided the newly-made family with a roof and financing, considers herself to have the right to dictate terms and impose her personal opinion.

Older parents' outdated views on children's development often cause discord between relatives. Different approaches to education and contradictory methods disorient the child. He cannot live in a situation of inconsistent demands - the world around him for a little person must be uniform and predictable. Otherwise, the baby feels anxious and uncomfortable. Adults get the boomerang back - the object of educational experiments begins to adapt and manipulate family members. Another negative point: a guilt complex is formed in the child’s subconscious as a result of feeling like he is the source of intra-family conflicts. An unstable environment creates an unstable psyche.

“Correct” grandparents

The role of grandparents in education it is extremely important, it is in the unconditional acceptance of the child, in love for the grandson without any conditions, evaluations and condemnation, simply for the fact that he exists. Signs of unconditional acceptance - joy from meeting, warm words, affectionate glances, gentle touches - are needed by a child as food for a growing organism. During such communication, one of the basic “human” needs is satisfied - the need for love, for being needed by another. And this is an indispensable condition for the normal development of the psyche. With the correct distribution of roles ( the main responsibility lies with mom ), the child receives one or two more loving people. Grandma and grandpa provide love that is “useful” for mental development.

Mother's responsibilities, chronic fatigue, and fear of spoiling the baby often restrain the natural manifestations of emotional attachment to the child. This is exactly the place for grandparents who are not burdened with parental responsibility. Most older people are emotionally balanced and compassionate. They are not in a hurry for urgent matters, so they are completely immersed in communication with the little man. Older family members often immerse themselves in children's problems, get involved in games, and allow more permission than they once gave to their own children. Grandparents are usually kinder, wiser than moms and dads, they demand less and allow a lot. They know a lot of stories, talk about their childhood, know how to console - how can you not love them!

Children raised by “correct” grandparents are more intellectually developed, sensitive, and responsible.

Communication between grandchildren and older relatives is mutually beneficial: the psychological well-being of the grandparents themselves improves. They get rid of the feeling of not being in demand, enjoy contacts with the younger generation, and become convinced of their own importance.

Raising grandchildren by grandmothers, or Grandmothers are different

It happens that a loving grandmother does not behave quite adequately and does not listen to the requests of her parents. She spoils her grandchildren, indulges their whims, and showers them with gifts. The reason usually lies in the older woman's unmet needs for self-esteem and respect from others. Grandmother’s stubbornness and “willfulness” in matters of upbringing are often associated with insufficient attention from older children. Caring for her grandson becomes a “light in the window”, because it is in this matter that she can show competence and feel her own importance. Young parents should communicate more with their elders, emphasizing how much they value the experience and opinion of their mother-in-law or mother-in-law.

Hyperactive grandma

There are grandmothers who interfere too actively in the educational process. They strive to play the role of a mother, forgetting that the grandson is not their child. Most often, this is the behavior of people who have not realized their personal potential during life and who seek to assert themselves at the expense of the inexperienced, the “weak.” A dangerous position: the weak can demonstrate strength, and then the militant side will be left with nothing.

The commander-in-chief-grandmother, with tireless energy bordering on aggression, is capable of causing serious damage to the family ship even from another city:

1. By controlling everything and everyone, the grandmother reduces the authority of the parents, and the child ceases to respect them. Child-parent attachment relationships suffer.
2. Conflicts based on “who knows best how to do it” are inevitable.
3. One hundred percent “grandmother’s” upbringing leads to difficulties in adapting to a team and an inability to communicate with peers.

Such teachers are often bosses at work. It happens that women with maternal instincts that were not satisfied in time compensate for the guilt of not giving enough to their own children in their youth.

What to do:

• sit down at the negotiating table on the distribution of responsibilities, time and scope of work,
• do not provoke your mother-in-law or mother-in-law to quit work (if she is still working),
• try to distance yourself from her, reduce participation in upbringing,
• try to redirect your energetic desire and good intentions in a different direction: not feed, clothe, exercise, but play, read, walk.

• never sort things out in front of children.

Grandmother is not a second mother; she cannot completely replace her. Temporary “replacement” of the mother and refuge in the grandmother’s house is appropriate in case of domestic conflicts, when parents constantly quarrel, noisily divorce, etc.

Teenager's blood pressure.

The pressure fluctuates due to the fact that physiological growth does not correspond to the growth of internal organs. Consult a doctor - he will prescribe therapy aimed at strengthening blood vessels, vitamin therapy, and moderate physical activity.

Childhood without a grandmother is like winter without snow or New Year without a Christmas tree. It so happened that my sister and I had three grandmothers at once. Each of the grandmothers had their own role. One knitted socks and baked pies, adored us and forgave us everything. The second grandmother (father's aunt) taught English and life wisdom. And the third, a young and fashionable grandmother, gave beautiful dresses and told funny stories of her youth. My sister and I had the happiest childhood, for which we thank not only our grandmothers, but also our parents, who managed to find the right balance between “grandmother’s pampering” and “parental strictness.”

As I grew up, I realized that such harmony is, alas, not achieved by everyone. There are several “typical” scenarios for the development of relationships between three generations.

Scenario 1. Overprotective grandmother

A “hyper-caring” grandmother, who knows exactly what is good and what is bad, often strives to take on the role of parents.

In such families, young parents expect from their grandmothers both unlimited help and “non-interference” in family affairs. The mistakes that cause further conflicts come from both generations. Old people take on excessive responsibility, push away their parents, and compete with them for the love of their grandchildren. Young parents do not dot all the i's and play a double game, that is, they use the services of their parents, but instead of gratitude they feel resentment toward them for the “wrong upbringing” of their children.

Grandmothers make childhood childhood

There are times when a young mother does something in raising a child in spite of her mother, to spite her. Sometimes a grandmother (be it her own mother or mother-in-law) deliberately belittles the role of the mother in the eyes of the baby, who becomes hostage to a hidden struggle. In such unhealthy relationships, jealousy and competition for the child's love play a key role.

The most unpleasant thing is that children very quickly and cleverly begin to sense this situation and take advantage of it. One of my friends talked about a similar situation in the family. As soon as her daughter was called upon to be disciplined at home, she would cry out to her “kind” grandmother and ask her to take her home. The same applied to “excessive” gifts. Everything that the mother did not allow to buy, the grandmother gladly purchased for the child.

Scenario two. Aloof Grandma

In some families, grandparents play little or no role in raising children. Sometimes this happens due to long distances. It happens that the mother-in-law does not like her daughter-in-law and does not want to communicate with her son’s children.

My friend living in the USA complained to me about her mother: “Instead of sitting with my child, she works from morning to evening, and at night she also writes her blog.” My friend’s mother is a loving grandmother, but the circumstances of her life do not allow her to leave work and take care of her grandchildren.

Scenario three. "Modern Grandma"

My mother is an example of such a modern grandmother. She is a young, working woman, with her own interests and personal time. My girl loves to visit her grandmother. And not only because she always gives you a beautiful dress or a doll, but because it’s interesting to communicate with your grandmother. As a teacher, she can find an approach to children. And the children are never bored with her.

The “modern grandmother” will take the child with her on a hike or to an exhibition in a museum instead of cooking soups and compotes all day long.

A grandmother who lives a full life has enough of everything. She does not seek to occupy a “parental” niche in the lives of children; she is satisfied with the role of a beloved and respected grandmother, respected for her way of life, and not for “giving everything away” to her grandchildren.

Scenario 4. Compromise

Let’s imagine a situation where relations between generations are friendly, and the baby visits his beloved grandparents at least once a week. However, coming home after another portion of “grandmother’s care” and “grandfather’s pampering,” he becomes uncontrollable. The child finds it difficult to cope with the situation. Everything that was possible at a party suddenly became impossible at home. How to explain to a child who is right without questioning the authority of the older generation?

If grandmothers love children with the wisdom inherent in their years and do not try to replace parents, all three generations become happy

My sister's example is remarkable in this regard. When her eldest son was two years old, she went to work, and the baby spent his days with one of his grandmothers. And so my sister decided that while the child is visiting, the grandmothers dictate the rules, they themselves decide what to feed the boy, what to wear for a walk, and what time to go to bed. When the baby comes home, the game begins according to the rules of mom and dad. As soon as the child realizes this balance of power and accepts it, it becomes easier for him. Psychologists are convinced that having encountered something similar in early childhood, it is much easier for children to accept new routines in future life situations.

Grandparents as keepers of traditions

Psychologists say that children raised by grandmothers are more successful, responsive and emotional. They know better what morality, happiness, and friendship are.

Grandparents not only tell stories, they are living family history. “They say that there is some kind of “mystical connection” between older people and children: the fairy tale told by the grandfather is much more interesting than the same one told by the father,” says Elena Kazantseva http://shkolazhizni.ru/archive/0 /n-43036/

As a little girl, I loved listening to my grandmothers stories about their military youth. Two of my grandmothers served on the labor front. I loved hearing about their childhood in the 20s.

Sometimes it seems that their practical experience is outdated - they are slow and do not have the latest technology. Sometimes their statements seem funny or naive. However, it is grandmothers who teach respect for elders, respect for the past, the past of the family, culture, and country.

The role of a grandmother in raising her grandchildren... What should it be? Family psychologist Elena Gromova will try to answer this not simple question for everyone.

A long-awaited grandson has appeared in the family. And so, the new grandmother sincerely rejoices at this event. And he really hopes to take part in raising his grandson. She believes that her life and maternal experience will now be greatly needed by a young mother...

But as the days go by, it becomes clear that mother is not always ready to listen to grandmother’s advice, she wants to do everything her own way. In this case, the grandmother either learns to delicately interact with the mother and help, “without causing harm” and respecting the young mother, or she tries to convince, reason, impose... It’s the second option that we’ll talk about today.

What happens when someone tries to force us to do something that we don’t agree with or don’t want?.. When they try to convince us, to insist on their own?... Most often, we close ourselves off. And, either we remain silent and do it our own way, or we submit, angry inside, or we try to defend ourselves and resist.

The same thing happens to a young mother. She finally became an adult woman, a mother. And it is quite normal that she wants to gain personal experience of caring for and raising a child. She has her own understanding of how to do it. And when the grandmother imposes on her a different understanding, her experience, then the mother is often not ready for this. She protests...

This is how various conflict situations arise. The grandmother believes that it is necessary to feed the child by the hour, and the mother wants to adhere to a free feeding schedule; the grandmother advises giving the child some water, and the mother read that mother’s milk is enough for the baby; the mother thinks that the child does not need to wear a hat when it’s +20 degrees outside, and the grandmother insists that they put a cap on him, “otherwise he will get inflated in his ears”... There are a lot of such situations. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to resolve the situation without quarrels and insults.

Therefore, dear grandmothers, even if your daughter or daughter-in-law asks you for help (or maybe doesn’t ask at all?..), be sensitive in this help. Ask your grandson’s mother how you could be useful to her, and if you feel that the mother does not agree with something, “take a step back”, giving the mother her legal right to decide what to wear for the child, what and how to wear it treat, how and how much to feed, when and how to put to bed, how to educate.... This is all the responsibility of the child’s mother and father. If you learn to babysit your grandson without insistence and instructions, if you manage to build a respectful and trusting relationship with your grandson’s mother, everyone will benefit: you, the grandson, and his parents!

Dear mothers, if you see that your grandmother, wanting to help, goes too far, as it seems to you, or gives advice that you do not need or are not ready to listen to, tell her honestly and openly that you appreciate her desire to be useful , you respect her life experience, but at the same time you want to decide most of the issues related to the life and upbringing of a child yourself.

Family psychologist Elena GROMOVA, Moscow

MADOU MO, Nyagan “D/s No. 10 “Dubravushka”.

Consultation

“The role of grandparents in family education”

Prepared by:

Samokhvalova Svetlana Nikolaevna

Senior teacher

Nyagan, 2015

For a child, a family is a world in which the foundations of morality and relationships with people are laid. The family plays a great role in instilling in a child a culture of behavior, discipline and organization, honesty and truthfulness, and modesty.

Father and mother, as well as other family members - grandfather, grandmother, older brothers and sisters - shape the child's personality from an early age. Family members are united by blood, love, common interests, and the responsibility of parents for raising children.

A positive result is possible only under the condition of thoughtful upbringing, when all adult family members serve as models of behavior for their children: they treat others kindly, work conscientiously, and are interested in social events.

When raising children in a family, adults do not always realize that preschoolers, especially from the age of five, show special interest in the world around them.

For the moral development of children, it is important that the judgments of people close to them are confirmed by relevant deeds. Preschoolers are impressionable and prone to imitation. They experience the world in concrete images. On their basis, the first generalized knowledge and ideas are formed.

Children are easily suggestible, especially toddlers. You can instill in them not only good things, but also bad things: a child’s feelings are spontaneous, quickly arise and fade away. It is difficult for a child to control his emotions, which explains the rather rapid transitions from intense fun to tears.

It is important for adult family members to take all these features into account when raising a child. For example, there is no need to punish a child for depicting in a game something bad that he saw in the family; it is better to suggest a good game to him. You should not get carried away with suggestions and explanations; it would be more correct to include the child in specific practical activities that are feasible for his age.

Mother and father are the main educators of their children, who are responsible for their upbringing before the state. It depends on the mother and father how effective the participation of older family members - grandparents - in the upbringing of preschoolers is.

Fiction provides examples of how not to act towards your loved ones and older people. For example, L.N. Tolstoy’s story “The Old Grandfather and Granddaughter” is small in volume, but deep in moral content. I recommend that adult family members read it.

The decent behavior of parents in the family serves as an example for preschoolers to follow and develops in them such moral traits as kindness, responsiveness, and caring.

Modern grandparents most often continue to work in production. Many have a higher education or several higher educations, have extensive life experience, etc. But for raising children, the main thing is their moral character. Kindness and justice, love of work, responsibility for its good results, honesty and modesty are the qualities that older family members should have. The authority of grandparents largely depends on the ability to combine love for their grandchildren with exactingness towards them, and to attract children to participate in interesting and useful activities.

Meanwhile, kindergarten teachers often observe how a pupil of the group does not obey the grandmother who came for him, demands that she dress him, shows dissatisfaction if he does not receive sweets from her, etc.

It is important to find out the reasons for such behavior and to find mistakes made in upbringing. Perhaps the grandmother is not an authority for this child; Maybe at home the mother and father of a preschooler are undermining her authority by expressing in the presence of the child their dissatisfaction with the methods of her upbringing.

In all cases, restraint should be the law in family relationships. Mutual discontent and disagreements that are inevitable in family life are resolved without children. Talking with parents and analyzing their answers to questions, teachers found that many parents associate disagreements in family education between mother, father, grandfather and grandmother with a lack of unity in the methods and techniques used by adults.

But what unites close people, members of the same family, is the personal and social position of grandparents. As a rule, they strive to help a young family manage their household. If adults live in different apartments, this help is sporadic, but in difficult cases, the elders come to the aid of their adult children (they temporarily take the children in and spend vacations with them).

Grandparents living in the family of a son or daughter take on a certain part of the worries and systematically participate in running the household. In addition, they raise their grandchildren, investing a lot in the child’s soul and mind, taking care of his health and proper physical development. Grandparents have more patience than young parents and more wisdom in communicating with children. If older family members no longer work, they have additional time to raise their grandchildren.

The moral positions of adult family members are especially valuable in the educational process. For example, a grandfather who works in production took an active part in improving the children's playground in the courtyard of the house. He involved his adult son, neighbors and even older preschoolers in this work. The family praised the grandfather for performing a useful social work.

In a single-parent family, the participation of grandparents is of great importance in raising children. A boy especially needs a grandfather when there is no father in the family. If the reason for an incomplete family is divorce, adults especially need to agree and adhere to common actions. For example, agree that a father who has left the family can meet with his son on certain days for joint walks and entertainment. It is possible, given the characteristics of the child’s father, to meet only at home where the boy lives with his mother, having agreed that the grandparents do not interfere in the relationship between the ex-husband and wife. Misunderstandings often arise due to differences of opinion. For example, a grandmother, offended that her son-in-law separated from her daughter, traumatizes the child with an unflattering assessment of his father, who left the family. The daughter (mother of the child) is unhappy with this, although she believes that the ex-husband is not worthy of a good grade.

Often misunderstandings between adults arise due to different understandings of the tasks and methods of education, and the characteristics of the approach to the child. Young parents complain that grandmothers spoil their grandchildren too much and take care of them in everything (because of this they even try to limit their communication); older family members believe that young people poorly teach children to work or treat children too harshly, without taking into account their age.

Strengthens the attitude of relatives by celebrating holidays: Russian Flag Day, City Day, New Year, birthdays. Many families have a tradition of playing games together, competing in wits and dexterity. Older preschoolers can also participate in these activities. Meaningful communication between adults and children: reading books, conversations, joint games, activities. There is a good tradition for preparing for the New Year: together with adults, children can prepare Christmas tree decorations, toys, and take part in a theatrical performance, the organizer of which is the grandmother, and the participants are all members of the large family.

The stories of grandparents about their childhood are interesting and useful for children. Good traditions are developed and supported by young parents, who show a lot of creativity and imagination.

Often the older generation keeps family heirlooms from their great-grandfathers in the house: a tunic, a cap, a dugout, letters and postcards from the war years, as well as labor and military orders, medals, certificates of honor, old photos. From time to time they are taken out, examined together with the children, and talked. Such communication is important for a child. It deepens his attachment to his family, relatives, and promotes mental and moral development.