NLP for happy love. NLP for happy love NLP for happy love k2k 2 info

Eva Berger

Introduction

Nobody dies from lack of sex. Dying from lack of love.

Margaret Atwood

Do you want to meet the man of your dreams? Do you need eternal love? Do you agree that novels should give only joy, shining eyes and pleasure? Ready to do without tears, difficult breakups, jealousy and lack of reciprocity? Do you dream of enchanting sex, which over the years does not become boring, but becomes brighter? Then welcome to our club! Club of lucky people in love!

Love is a gift!

Love is the most powerful charge of happiness, energy, joy and well-being.

Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.

Love is an absolutely free pleasure available to everyone!

It may be strange for you to read these lines now. Needless to say, we live in a cynical time. Most of us no longer believe in true love. Others think that true love lasts a couple of years, and then it is replaced by friendship and mutual respect at best, and indifference or hostility at worst. Still others are afraid that true love will definitely have to be paid: with tears, quarrels, suffering.

Since you are holding this book in your hands, it means that you are ready to find your love! Moreover, you deserve it! And already now, and not after ten/twenty/thirty years of hard work on yourself. And I hope that this book will easily help you bring a joyful moment closer. I won’t be surprised if you finish reading the last chapters, comfortably curled up in the arms of the man of your dreams.

However, the result will depend solely on you.

And this is the main advantage and the main principle of NLP: your personal life depends only on you! You are the sole author of all your novels, and only you decide whether to end the novel with a happy ending or a tragic break.

So, it all depends on you! Not from your appearance, not from your luck, not from your zodiac sign, not from men, not from circumstances, but only from you.

You may not believe it at first. Especially if your past novels were not particularly successful. Perhaps such an assumption will even outrage you. Well, it turns out that I myself am to blame for the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me / was rude / beat me / was married, etc.?! Well, I brought all these love failures on myself?!

Alas, yes. However, this is by no means your fault! It's just your problem. You acted as best you could, tried your best, and as a result came to the current situation. But that doesn't mean anything! After all, having received new information, having learned some secrets about how relationships are built, you can get anything! Everything!

You only need to slightly change the way you think and look at the world from a new point of view. Do not believe that everything is so simple? So that's great! Do not believe! Better check! Practice shows that the greatest results are achieved by those who do not believe in the word, but check everything from their own experience.

NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, is a science that allows you to change your way of thinking and, accordingly, your life in the shortest possible time.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming can be used in any area of life: health, career, financial improvement, communication with people, negotiations.

But it is especially important to use this technique in love. After all, when it comes to personal life, we usually want to get everything as quickly as possible. We don't want to wait twenty years to meet our prince. And they are not ready to endure until the age of sixty, so that he finally decides to propose.

No, we want to love and be loved right now. That is why NLP is perfect for our purposes. It is the fastest and most efficient branch of psychology.

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

If interested, I will give an example of how quickly NLP techniques can work.

Veta, 49, complained for ten long years that she was too lazy and couldn't bring herself to go to the gym. When, after a hormonal illness, she noticeably gained weight, the issue of the gym became even more relevant. All her friends advised her to start playing sports, but Veta stubbornly continued to repeat: “I am too lazy for sports. I will never have enough willpower to exercise regularly. Yes, I go for a maximum of a couple of classes, and then I’ll quit anyway. I'm just wasting my money on memberships. To be honest, I even just go to the club and find out the schedule of classes, and then too lazy. After all, there are plenty of other, more useful things to do.” The funny thing is that Veta was never too lazy to complain about her own laziness. Her main problem was that she did not believe in herself. She was deeply convinced that she would never be able to discipline herself and show willpower.

For fun, I suggested that she do a simple NLP exercise to gain confidence (I will definitely describe this exercise in the pages of this book). Since it took 15 minutes at most, Veta was not at all too lazy to do it. I asked how it felt. She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe this will work… we’ll see.” But there wasn't much confidence in her voice. However, the next day she went to a fitness club and signed up for a month. I asked what was the stimulus. And Veta said that at night she saw a strange dream.

- I dreamed that I went into a very beautiful, elite fitness center and met my best friend there. She worked out in the gym and looked great at the same time - twenty years younger! I was so offended by her in my dream. Why did she go alone and not invite me along for company? Cause I really need it! And if I went with her, I would certainly look just as wonderful now!

Impressed by this dream, Veta bought a subscription. And for 6 months she has been regularly doing Pilates twice a week. The most amazing thing is that she absolutely does not have to force herself or resort to straining her will. She does it with pleasure. And sincerely upset if you have to miss a class.

So quickly, in just one night, the brain can learn a new program and give the body the right command.

Another positive example was shown to me by another girl,

Alina, 22 years old.

For five years, Alina suffered from a hopeless relationship with her boyfriend.

“We met from school,” Alina says, “we loved each other, but we couldn’t get along. We both have explosive personalities. The slightest disagreement immediately grew into a wild quarrel with screams, tears, even fights. We broke up and got back together probably a hundred times. Each time my boyfriend asked for forgiveness, assured that this would not happen again, promised to control himself. But after some time, we again began to violently conflict, and for the most trifling reasons.

Alina has long been interested in positive psychology and personal development. So I decided to try NLP techniques.

- When we broke up again, I decided to find a new love. I knew from experience that if I was left alone for a long time, I would eventually get bored and go back to my ex. And I didn't want that. I wanted a completely different relationship. Then I used model of a well-formulated NLP outcome.

The result is an image of your goal, designed to understand what needs to be done and how to act. The trick of the “well-formulated result model” technique is that if you formulate the goal correctly, then the very formulation will already contain a hint on how to achieve what you want.

Alina did just that. Having formulated what kind of relationship she needs and with what man she would like to build them, the girl immediately understood how to act.

“After answering the questionnaire with a well-formulated result, I realized what my mistake was,” says Alina, “I wanted a serious relationship, but at the same time I met only infantile young guys who simply could not give me such a relationship. I suddenly realized that I need an older man: successful, smart and confident. With whom I will be interested, from whom I can learn a lot. I also realized that I want to find a man without bad habits, in good physical shape, with a beautiful body. And also - that he was serious about me and was ready for a life together. And then it dawned on me that it was definitely not necessary to look for this in nightclubs, as I usually did. I bought myself a subscription to an elite spa center with a sauna, swimming pool, tennis courts. It was not cheap, but it automatically guaranteed a good social circle. Only successful people come here to relax. Already in the first month of visiting, I met an attractive man. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't walk. And he just divorced his wife. And I began to go to the SPA to put my body and nerves in order after a hard break. We quickly hit it off and started dating. And I realized that most of the problems in our personal lives are due to the fact that we complain too much about the shortcomings in a relationship, instead of formulating goals in love!

So, in order to achieve the goal, you need to formulate it as competently as possible! After all, the goal is abstract, but the result is always concrete! So be specific! And it will turn from a distant destination into a concrete path that you can walk. To do this, you just need to answer a series of questions. Fill out this form with as much detail as possible. And it is quite possible that today you will receive a hint on how to act and what you need to do to find your love.

Well-Formed Outcome Model

1. What exactly do you want?

Answer this question in one sentence. Formulate your wish

I + predicate in the present tense without the particle "not" + additional conditions.

For example: I easily meet the man of my dreams, and we begin a happy harmonious relationship.

I easily marry a man who loves me and loves me.

Try to keep the goal as specific and clear as possible. No tricks or ambiguities. After all, if you think: “I meet a handsome and rich man,” then the goal will most likely be fulfilled literally. You will meet this rich handsome man somewhere on the street, but he will just pass by. And if you think “I fall in love easily”, then you can fall in love not mutually. So try to fit all the wishes in one sentence. By the way, listing here all the qualities of the future chosen one is not a very effective way. The more minor details the object of your imagination has, the more requirements you make, the longer your order will be realized. So try to be concise and specific, specifying only what is necessary. The most capacious wording: "a man who loves me and loves me." Instead of ordering a handsome man with blue eyes, blond hair, biceps, height from 185 cm and always in jeans from D&G, it is better to simply order a “sexually attractive man”.

2. What will the possession of this result give you?

Answer this question and you will know the motivation! Why are you really looking for love?

3. Do you see yourself as the owner of this result?

To make the goal feasible, draw in your imagination a very vivid picture of the desired result. Imagine being in love and being loved! Or a happy bride. Or a cheerful wife!

By the way, NLP trainers recommend presenting yourself dissociated, that is, as if looking at yourself from the outside. If you look at the picture of “happy love” with your own eyes, as if you were a participant in the picture, then your brain will receive a signal that you have already achieved the result, and will transmit the appropriate command to the body. And if you imagine a picture of “happy love” and see yourself from the side, then the consciousness will receive a signal: this is my goal, this is what I am striving for, this is the direction I am moving in.

4. How will you know that you have achieved a result?

- What will you see when you reach the result?

What will you hear when you reach the result?

- What will you feel when you achieve the result?

We perceive the world around us in pictures, sounds, sensations. Similarly, we can feel our purpose.

If you have formed in your imagination a visual image of the desired result, it will, of course, launch the necessary mechanism for the materialization of desire. But this process will be greatly accelerated if we supplement the picture of "happy love" with appropriate auditory and kinesthetic images (that is, sounds and sensations).

So it is necessary to construct the most vivid images in your imagination, preferably in 3D format, and even with Dolby Digital Surround soundtrack! They will begin to influence the subconscious, and the subconscious, in turn, will give a command to the body. And when the body feels the anticipation of happiness, you, firstly, will get prettier before your eyes (after all, the brain will program the body so that it looks better). Well, secondly, it will begin to move, to function in such a way that your order for happy love is realized. You yourself will feel where to go, how to behave, what to say and do in order to easily get what you want. Your behavior will be automatically programmed to get the desired result!

5. Who controls your result?

(Check if your goal is related to other people? Does its implementation depend on someone other than you?)

Alas, even the most experienced NLPer is unable to completely control other people. Of course, in NLP there are some techniques for indirectly influencing a person. However, ordering a goal: “Let Vasya leave his wife and fall in love with me” or “I want Tom Cruise to fall in love with me” is not very effective. If you are not in love with each other now, think about what you need more: the love of a particular person or just a happy mutual love? Because you can choose an easier path: fall in love with a man who will love you back (and who, quite possibly, will be a hundred times more beautiful, sexier, smarter, more successful than the notorious Vasya). In NLP, it is always preferable to depend only on yourself. And if you order the love and good attitude of another person, then you obviously put yourself in a dependent position. In the following chapters, we will talk about how to influence people and how to make any man fall in love with you. But for now, you should carefully weigh everything and ask yourself: is the game worth the candle?

Also, you can't directly change another person. No matter how much you repeat: "My husband appreciates me and stops cheating on me," the spell is unlikely to work. After all, it is your own, and not his subconscious, you are programming. So formulate the order differently: “I am the most attractive to my husband. I easily achieve his loyalty.

6. In what situations will the achievement of a result be inappropriate or useless?

Can you imagine circumstances that would discourage you from finding happy love/marriage, etc.?

7. Where and when would you like to receive your result? Are you ready to have this result all the time and under any circumstances?

What seems tempting to us in one situation may seem like hell in another. We need to formulate the result in such a way that it is attractive to us in any context.

8. What can you lose if you reach your goal? What are you risking?

Sometimes we ourselves block the fulfillment of our desire, because we are afraid of losing something important. A woman may want to get married and at the same time subconsciously be afraid of losing her freedom. You can dream of love and at the same time keep your feelings in check, afraid that if a man turns your head, he will break your heart.

In each of us, a battle between the mind and feelings, consciousness and subconsciousness can go on for years. To stop this confrontation and eliminate the contradiction, you must first realize it. So, realize that now you are deriving a certain benefit from the fact that your goal has not yet been realized. Finally understand what exactly this benefit is. Are you ready to give it up in the future in order to achieve your goal?

9. What do you already have to achieve the desired result and what else do you need?

By answering this question, you will learn a lot about yourself. For example, that you already have a lot of useful resources that will help you find happy love. For example, appearance, age, life experience, beautiful smile, easy disposition and accommodating character. Think about all your qualities and think about how they can help you achieve your goal. You will be surprised: anything can become your weapon! Do you know a foreign language? Great! This means that you have more choice of men, because you can have an affair not only with compatriots, but also with foreigners. Are you over 18 years old? Well, wonderful! You have seen a lot and know a lot. Your wisdom will work for you. Divorced? Wonderful! This means that you have some experience of family life, and it will help you avoid many mistakes in a new relationship. Do you have ten children? That's wonderful! So, you can immediately check your boyfriend. Agree that the attitude of a man towards children says a lot about him as a person. You will immediately know what he is behind the scenes.

10. Have you been able to achieve something like this before?

If you have been happy in love for at least a day, then you, in principle, are capable of it! A well-known fact: if you have succeeded at least once, then you will definitely be able to repeat it! And even better results!

11. Do you know someone who managed to achieve the result you dream of?

If your friends have succeeded, then you will certainly succeed! Try to look for and find among your friends and family examples of happy relationships, successful marriages, true love. If they did it, then you can too! Drop jealousy. Get confidence. This is a very realistic goal. Someone has already reached it. And you are on your way to it. Great! Soon you will join the ranks of the lucky ones.

So, now you know how to correctly formulate the goal. You see that a competent formulation allows you to learn a lot about yourself. For example, why haven't you achieved what you want yet? And what obstacles do you need to remove along the way? And one more thing: HOW you need to act, WHAT to do in order to get what you want as soon as possible?

The main thing to remember is that NLP is not a theory, it is a purely practical, applied science. Therefore, I hope that you will not be satisfied with the examples given and will want to experience everything for yourself! Start practicing right now. This will be the best proof of the effectiveness of NLP.

Practical task number 1.

Let's take a break and dream a little...

Think carefully and answer:

What kind of men did your parents always advise you? What relationship did they recommend to you? What ideas about love, sex, marriage have been instilled since childhood? Which boyfriends were approved and which ones weren't? What did they advise?

– And what novels are quoted in your company? What kind of men do your girlfriends dream of? What kind of relationship are they looking for? What advice about your personal life?

- What films, books, television series and programs about love do you get used to watching? Who are your idols? Which characters do you consider the most beautiful, exemplary couple? Romeo and Juliet? Eugene Onegin and Tatyana Larina? Carrie Bradshaw and Mr Big? Scarlett and Rhett Butler? What was the end of their relationship? Happy end? Or a tragic ending?

Try to write down your thoughts on a piece of paper or draw them! This will help you create and visually see a holistic image of your worldview.

Now that you have a rough picture of your surroundings, try to distract yourself from it! Think about how you would like to see your personal life? What do you dream about? If you are single, then what kind of man would you like to meet? If you are a couple, what would you like to change? How do you imagine the perfect romance? Try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Drop other people's standards. Think about what you would like!!! Not your parents, boyfriend, neighbors, etc.

For clarity, you can not only make a list of your needs, but also sketch them. Or make a collage of photos, pictures and clippings.

The fact is that many girls themselves do not realize what they want in love. And often replace their own desires with others. For example, your parents want you to get married. And now you begin to inspire yourself that you want to start a family. But in fact, deep down, you would love to go to hot countries and spin a hurricane, passionate, albeit unpromising romance with a sultry Latin American.

Or vice versa: your girlfriends say that there is no need to fall in love, it is better to be content with sex without obligations. And now you imitate their way of life, although you yourself, perhaps, would prefer instead of a crowd of disposable lovers to find the very One.

So, this is your chance to dot the i's.

What is your ideal personal life?

What relationship are you looking for? What emotions do you need? What feelings do you want to get?

Who can enjoy happy love?

So, there is good news for you! Love is available to everyone! Happy love, eternal love, true love without change and betrayal is available to everyone from birth. It does not need to be earned, achieved, won, etc. The right to love and the opportunity to enjoy love are as inalienable as the right to breathe air.

But since happy love is so accessible, why do so few people exercise their right to enjoy it? Why are there so many suffering from unrequited love?

It's about how our brains are programmed! After all, the brain is a kind of control center. It controls our entire body (all nervous processes, emotions, blood circulation, heartbeat, digestion, musculoskeletal system, etc.).

Rule number 1.

The mind and body are inextricably linked! The mind affects the body, and the body can affect the brain.

You feel the interaction of the body and the brain every day. You just don't always realize it.

For example, you were given a sincere compliment. The brain received a signal. And right there in the body you will feel a pleasant warmth. And vice versa. Remember how you feel after you had a big fight with someone. You must be feeling tired and empty. You are completely exhausted. Although there was no physical activity. And yet, when your brain is affected by harsh words, loud yelling and accusations, your body gets hurt too. After all, it is connected with the brain, which means that it sensitively feels its discomfort and overload.

There is also a feedback: act on the body, and the brain will feel this effect. For example, when you make love to a man, you affect the body, but pay attention to how the head is unloaded. All unnecessary thoughts, worries, anxieties go away (of course, if it is good sex that brings pleasure). The brain is released. The same thing happens in yoga classes or during a relaxing massage. We affect the body, but the brain also feels this effect.

By the way, it is this feature of a person that is often used by all kinds of psychics and fortune-tellers. There are people who turned to grandmothers, magicians and sorcerers for help and ... really felt the desired result. But this is not proof of the existence of magic at all. It's just a mind blowing trick. A talented psychic with elementary psychological knowledge can make a positive suggestion to a person, for example: “You will meet your lover then and there.” The brain receives a command: to meet a lover. It sends the command to the body. The body follows the order - and as a result, a person really easily meets his beloved.

And sometimes the suggestions are negative. For example, you hear a bad horoscope on the radio in the morning, and it’s true that the whole day is down the drain. But this is not because horoscopes and astrology really govern all life. And because the body and the brain are connected, and if the brain gave the command for an "unfavorable day", then the body is forced to look for trouble everywhere.

Of course, most body control operations occur automatically! And you don't understand them. "Control room" is in the subconscious. Conventionally, your brain can be divided into two large parts: consciousness and subconscious.

In the field of consciousness is everything that you are aware of here and now. And the subconscious is a kind of huge warehouse where a lot of interesting information is stored. That song that you sang at the children's matinee, tickets for chemistry for the ninth grade that you studied for the exam - absolutely all the memories (seemingly long forgotten) starting from the day you were born.

In addition to memories, there is something very important in the subconscious: the central computer that controls your body and your life. This computer has some general programs, but there are also purely individual ones. For example, the heartbeat or digestion program is general. It is similar for all people (although there are differences here too: after all, someone has digestion and metabolism so light that it does not allow a person to get better, while others have the opposite).

And there are programs that are purely individual. For example, a love management program. You are probably surprised. Do we already have some kind of program in our brain that controls our personal lives? Exactly! And this program is not alone. There are many of them. Some of them bring you happiness in your personal life, and some, on the contrary, bring suffering.

Fortunately, NLP will allow you not only to identify all these programs, but also to conduct a global audit. During this revision, you will be able to remove all unnecessary programs and replace them with useful ones.

How do subconscious programs affect our romantic relationships?

Practical task number 2.

Let's take inventory! Review the statements below and mark the ones you agree with.

1. All men are goats / bastards / womanizers.

2. Nobody will love me.

3. There are too many beautiful, young, stylish girls around, I can't stand such competition. Who will look at me?

4. All men need only one thing. They use women for sex.

5. All men cheat, but I don't want to be betrayed and break my heart.

6. In our city / my environment, no one is worthy of me. I'm too good, and there are only freaks / losers around.

7. There won't be enough men for everyone. All the good ones have already been snatched up.

8. Getting married is very difficult. Men prefer open relationships.

9. A man needs to be trained and re-educated. Without it, he will never behave normally.

10. No one will love me for who I am, so it's better to pretend. And be what men want to see you.

11. Sex is dirty.

12. Nothing lasts forever. Love passes with time. At best, friendship and mutual respect will remain.

13. Sex becomes boring over the years. Passion cannot last forever.

14. Relationships are hard work. You need to work hard on yourself and on your partner so that the relationship becomes good and harmonious.

Well, how? Did you find at least a couple of ideas on the list that you agree with or that you often repeat (even as a joke)?

But these are the real programs. It was they who could still interfere with your personal happiness in love. So congratulations! You have taken an important step. Found a possible cause of previous failures, and we will easily eliminate it in the near future.

It would seem that there is nothing special in these statements. It's just your opinion, your view of the world. And what is it? Can he stop you from being happy? Alas, yes. In what way?

Very simple! For example, a girl, in whose subconsciousness the program is written: “All men are goats!”, Will surely meet and attract exclusively “goat-like” boyfriends. The brain will transmit the command to the body, and the body will be forced to follow the order and meet, fall in love, enter into relationships exclusively with "goats". Moreover, the more often a girl meets with such men, the stronger her confidence will become that there are no normal men and are not expected. Accordingly, the stronger the program in the subconscious.

And if the fear lives in you that “all men are males and they all go to the left”, alas, he will most likely control your body. Under the influence of this harmful program, you can involuntarily begin to behave in such a way that your fear is realized.

The founding father of the science of NLP Richard Bandler states:

All our problems are the constant repetition of the same habit.

The fact is that we do a lot of things automatically. According to the same habitual pattern. And often we don’t even realize that this scheme has long been ineffective. Moreover: it harms us! But instead of finding a new pattern of behavior, we stubbornly continue to cling to the familiar and familiar.

One of the most important human needs is the craving for the familiar. Everything new is scary! That is why many people step on the same rake all their lives. Sometimes women replace fifty lovers and five husbands, but the situation on the personal front does not change much. The thing is that you need to change not lovers, but your own attitudes, programs that do not lead you to the desired relationship.

Test: are you ready to find love?

Richard Bandler proved that all long-term change occurs in three stages. To check if you are ready to find happy love and at what stage you are, check at what stage you are now.

Stage #1. You are tired of the constant problem (or endless problems in your personal life) and are determined to change the situation. Keep in mind, you have reached the first stage, but it is not easy to achieve changes if you are tired. And if you are ready, then you need to act! If for now you can only complain about men, hard fate and life's injustice, but you don’t want to do anything, then your path to love has not yet begun. It will begin the minute you feel ready for action. It does not matter that you do not yet know exactly how to act and what steps to take. It's ahead of you. The main thing that you understood: “I've had enough!” That you are ready to do everything in your power to change your life for the better.

Stage number 2. You were able to look at your problems with fresh eyes and see them in a new light. For example, a man left you. And you, tired of worrying and crying, thought for the first time: maybe this is for the best? Or maybe your life is not over, but just beginning? What if this is not a universal tragedy, but, on the contrary, a great opportunity to find true happy love, much more joyful than these dull, unpromising relationships? In a word, if you suddenly begin to see opportunities, prospects, chances for happiness in your problems, then you can be congratulated! You are very close to finding true, happy love.

Stage number 3. You forgot that you once had love problems. Now you do not have a problem (for example, divorce a married boyfriend). Instead of problems, you have goals! (For example, marry a man you love and love and live happily ever after with him.)

If you have come to this stage and even managed to formulate your goal, then you have come close to finding happy love. And you can get what you want pretty quickly (from a couple of days to a couple of weeks, depending on how well you formulated the goal). However, we will talk about how to correctly formulate the goal.

I hope I managed to intrigue you! An exciting journey is ahead, which begins for you right now.

First, smile and say to yourself: “My personal life is my game. Here everything will be according to my rules. Everything will be as I want! I am worthy of love and I will get it easily and quickly!

Honestly, I hate it when people say that relationships are work and that for happy love and hot sex you need to work hard on yourself and try your best. I think it's just nonsense! Love and sex are pleasure, joy and just a very pleasant pastime.

So if you're ready to have some fun, let's get started!

This is a practical NLP guide that will help you completely transform your personal life in accordance with your wishes.

If you want to get married, get out! If you want hurricane sex, you will have hurricane sex! If you want to become a heartbreaker and collect men in love - no problem, and this is quite achievable.

It doesn't matter if things are good or bad right now. It doesn't matter if you have a permanent partner or you are content with temporary ones. It doesn't matter how great your track record and sexual experience is. This book will help you take new steps towards your sexuality and open up completely new horizons in love.

A LIFELONG NOVEL

No one can teach a person anything, he can only be helped to find it within himself.

Galileo

Love is a beautiful castle! It may turn out to be sandy and collapse after the first rain, or it may be durable and retain its beauty and grandeur forever, despite storms, earthquakes and hurricanes. How to ensure that the castle of your love becomes really reliable? It needs to be built on a solid foundation! The basis of happy and eternal love should be your love for yourself!

Surely you have heard many times that you need to love and accept yourself for who you are. All psychologists talk about this. However, at the same time, few people go into details and explain what self-love is and how to achieve it.

The fact is that you can’t run away from yourself, you can’t get away and you can’t get rid of yourself. If you don't like a man, you can break up with him. If someone's company is unpleasant for you, you can leave it at any time. And you can't hide from yourself. You can't divorce yourself if you don't like something. That is why it is so important to love yourself, the person who will be with you all your life!

Many people are afraid to love themselves. It seems to them: it’s worth loving yourself the way you are, and they will completely relax, stop working on themselves, become lazy, selfish narcissists who do nothing but self-admiration, instead of somehow struggling with their own shortcomings and developing. But this is the greatest delusion! First, self-love has nothing to do with narcissism. Secondly, it allows a person to improve, develop, reach unprecedented heights, and in record time. But self-criticism only slows down the natural process of development.

Rule number 2.

Self-love is an unconditional feeling of acceptance of oneself, with all its characteristics. This is the realization of one's uniqueness, originality and dissimilarity to others.

It's funny: if we fall in love with someone else, we immediately feel it and notice it. Love for other people is difficult to confuse, say, with hatred or with some other feeling. We do not need to learn to love others, we know how to do it by nature. But, alas, not everyone knows how love for oneself feels. However, as soon as you love yourself, many problems and difficulties in your life will evaporate by themselves. You will forget what pain and suffering, anxiety and resentment are. After all, a person who truly loves himself will never allow himself to suffer!

Self-love is a powerful program in the subconscious mind that will guide you along the most favorable path all your life. You will unconsciously meet kind, caring, loving people everywhere. Only attentive, generous, interesting and noble men will reach out to you. You will unwittingly attract good things into your life.

Signs of true self love

1. Self love is unconditional.

That is, we love ourselves not for something, but in spite of everything. To truly love yourself, you need to stop setting conditions on yourself once and for all. For example: “If I’m slim, I love myself, and if I gained a couple of kilos, then I’m a fat cow and I urgently need to do something so that it’s not disgusting to look at myself in the mirror.” This is a prime example of self-loathing and self-loathing. How will a loving person behave? He thinks something like this: “I love myself the way I am. So what if I got better? My body is great. I can easily manage it and keep myself in shape.” Girls often set themselves a lot of conditions and make unrealistically high demands on themselves. For example, they think: “If I don’t have a man, I’m a worthless nonentity.” In this case, the subconscious receives the appropriate program: I am a nonentity. And this program is being implemented in life, exacerbating the girl's hatred of herself. It is much more reasonable to know that you are beautiful and love yourself, regardless of whether you have a man now or not. On the contrary, while you do not have a man, you need your own love even more. Give yourself that love! And you will see, love for yourself will quickly attract the love of other people.

2. Self love means you never compare yourself to others.

A person who loves himself recognizes his uniqueness. This means that he never compares himself to others in order to understand who is better and who is worse. Remember, if you are trying to measure beauty, talent, harmony, intelligence, success, etc. with someone, then you are denying your own uniqueness! Self-admiration and self-abasement is the exact opposite of self-love. A narcissist is constantly showing off, trying to prove that he is better than others. Those who are unsure of themselves also constantly compare themselves with others and feel inferior in front of others. However, both of them do not love themselves. After all, they both involuntarily deny their individuality, uniqueness.

3. A person who loves himself knows that he has no flaws, but there are features that make up an important part of his personality.

The strictest judges are ourselves. We judge ourselves mercilessly and ruthlessly. We create some imaginary ideal and then scold ourselves for not living up to it. In fact, it is worth showing a little more love, understanding, care for yourself, as magical changes will begin to happen by themselves. For example, you scold yourself for being so old and not yet married. Or because you couldn't save your marriage. You begin to blame yourself, feverishly trying to change, adjust to some standards.

And the more you fuss, trying to get rid of the shortcomings, the more difficult is the process of transformation. However, you should relax and say to yourself: “Yes, so far I have not been able to find a husband and start a family. But that doesn't mean I'm bad. I am the way I am. I believe in myself. And I love myself. And since I love myself like this, it means that there will definitely be a man in the world who will also love me just like that. And I allow myself to change and develop as fast as I feel comfortable.”

This does not mean that from now on you do not need to work on yourself. Of course, you can develop and change for the better. But do it with love and joy, not fear and negative emotions. A girl who loves herself goes to the gym, to a beautician, to a stylist, because she says: “I take care of myself. I am happy to be good. I love my body and my appearance so much that I happily indulge myself.” A girl who does not feel love for herself can do the same: play sports, visit beauty salons, even resort to the services of plastic surgeons. But at the same time, she will think: “I have to work on myself. If I do not put my appearance in order, no one will ever love me. Guess who will be the most successful? And who is more likely to fall in love with men?

4. The one who feels love for himself does not seek to intimidate himself and in general rarely experiences a feeling of fear and anxiety.

You don't threaten your loved ones, do you? Don't you say to the one you love, "I think you're in big trouble"? Most likely, you, on the contrary, are trying to encourage and calm your loved one. Tell him: “Everything will be fine! I know you'll get better soon." How often do you cheer yourself up like that? Conversely, how often do you intimidate yourself and cheat? Think about it, because an important indicator of self-love is the ability and willingness to calm yourself.

5. A person who loves himself does not torment himself with guilt.

Guilt is the only absolutely useless feeling that harms a person rather than helps. The fact is that no matter how bad things we do, according to the NLP model,

a person always acts, guided by the best intentions. In any situation, every person tries to do what is best.

Perhaps this principle will seem to you outrageous and false. It would seem that there are so many scoundrels, swindlers, even criminals in the world. And yet, getting into a certain situation, everyone always thinks about how best to act. And then it all depends on the worldview of a particular person. For some, it is better to change your spouse once than to regret the missed opportunity all your life later. It seems to another that it is better to leave a family with children than to live with a woman for whom he no longer feels love.

Be that as it may, no one wakes up with the thought: “How can I make this world worse? What vile deed would I commit so that my loved ones would suffer undeservedly? The person is acting out of good intentions. And what comes out of this as a result depends on his psychological flexibility and psychological literacy.

And so you don't have to blame yourself for anything. Even if it seems to you that you have done something immoral: you have beaten off a husband from a friend, cheated on a boyfriend, or splashed out negative emotions on an innocent person, you need to forgive yourself. If you don’t forgive yourself, you will involuntarily activate a program of punishment in your subconscious. A person experiencing an acute sense of guilt unwittingly finds a way to punish himself. He, unwittingly, makes himself pay for what he has done. You can punish yourself physically by getting sick, or mentally by losing a loved one. You can just endlessly engage in self-discipline. It just won't help. You will suffer, but it will not make it easier for others. No matter how severely you punish yourself, those offended by this will not become happier. Therefore, give up feelings of guilt and the habit of making excuses for what you have done (even to yourself!). Replace guilt with awareness! Instead of punishing yourself, learn to analyze the situation and draw conclusions for the future. It will be much more useful than a lot of stuffed cones and daily reproaches.

Why is it so important to love yourself? And why is self-love the first and most important basis for finding happy love? The fact is that a girl who does not love or does not love herself enough will find it extremely difficult to build a good, harmonious relationship. When a girl does not give herself enough love/care/pleasure/compliments, etc., she will try to get it all from a man. And she will never be enough! Remember what claims girls usually make to men.

"You don't give me enough time!"

"You don't try to please me in bed at all!"

"I miss your attention!"

"Why do you rarely say nice things to me?"

"You don't care about me!"

"You never give me gifts!" etc.

Well, do you recognize yourself? Surely you yourself have at least once complained about the lack of attention / love / time, etc. Of course, it is easy to blame a man for this. But here is a funny psychological paradox: the lack of love / attention / pleasure, etc., is generated first of all by you yourself, and not at all by a man. The relationship and behavior of a man is just a projection, a mirror image of your own attitude towards yourself.

You can blame your loved one for not paying enough attention to you. Now think about how often you pay attention to yourself? Do you have any days / hours / moments when you are only concerned with yourself? If you accuse a man of rarely giving you gifts or never inviting you to dinner at a restaurant, think about how often you make yourself pleasant surprises? Do you make gifts for yourself? Can you treat yourself, love, to dinner at a restaurant? Do you often say compliments and nice words to yourself? No? So what to expect from a man?

After all, if you have a need for food or rest, you do not ask other people to satisfy it. No, you just buy yourself a sandwich or take a rest break.

Try to listen to yourself and understand what unmet needs you have. What do you usually demand from men?

Try to identify these needs and learn how to satisfy them yourself.

- If you want attention and recognition - try to speak in public. At least in a karaoke bar, at least at a corporate party in your own company.

- If you want affection and care - go for a massage, to the pool, to the sauna. Take time for yourself to soak in a fragrant bath, etc.

If you want gifts, start giving them to yourself. Buy what makes you happy, not just what you need.

- If you want pleasant words and declarations of love, get in the habit of showering yourself with compliments every day. Every time you look in the mirror, do not be too lazy to say something nice to yourself.

What's the point in all this? Very big! First, in this way you will gradually satisfy your basic needs. Then you will not need a man to assert yourself, feed your self-confidence or listen to your whining about problems. No, if you do all this for yourself, then you will need a man only for love and a pleasant pastime.

Secondly, by doing all these pleasant things for yourself, you thereby automatically launch the appropriate program in your subconscious mind that will attract an attentive and caring man to you. You probably noticed that most often gifts from men are received by those girls who are used to pampering themselves with gifts, and without any reason. And most of all compliments are heard by girls, and so confident in their beauty and irresistibility. In other words, when the needs are satisfied, then there is nothing to worry about. And any act of a man will not be perceived as a matter of life and death (“Oh, he didn’t praise my new skirt, which means he doesn’t love me!”), But simply as a pleasant bonus, a joyful surprise.

Practical task number 3.

So, let's analyze the basic human needs together. And evaluate how satisfied or dissatisfied you are. In order to objectively assess the degree of your satisfaction, put a score from 1 to 10 points in front of each item. 1 point means low satisfaction or dissatisfaction, and 10 points means complete satisfaction. Try to put down points very quickly, almost without thinking. Write the numbers that come to your mind first. The fact is that the first thought (even if it seems ridiculous or strange) usually comes directly from the subconscious. Our consciousness is accustomed to editing, ennobling and processing everything. But now we need the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Therefore, we will listen to the subconscious, and only then we will analyze its answer consciously.

Basic Human Needs

1. Physiological needs (sleep, food, drink, rest, health, sex). How satisfied are you physically?

2. The need for security. The desire to be confident in the future. Confidence in a happy future.

3. The need for recognition and respect.

4. The need for like-minded people. The need to belong to a society.

5. The need for self-realization.

So, you got acquainted with the basic needs and assessed the degree of your satisfaction. Now think about what you can do for yourself? What steps do you need to take to meet your own needs on your own?

Alas, I cannot decide this for you. And I can't tell you what's good for you. After all, each person is individual, and what is vital for one is of very little importance for another. So think for yourself: what will you do from now on to feel great, regardless of the presence or absence of a man in your life.

Believe me, this is the first and important step towards liberation, independence and finding love. Why? Very simple! If you intend to satisfy your needs with the help of a man, you will quickly become dependent on him. And being dependent, finding happiness is extremely difficult.

For example, you unconsciously (or consciously) want to satisfy your need for security. And now you find yourself a male protector who can always stand up for you. He always rushes to protect you and does not allow anyone to say a rude word about you. And everything seems to be great. Until you have your first fight. The defender will turn into your opponent. And who will protect you in this case? Who will defend your interests now?

That's why it's so important to be self-sufficient. Like attracts like. Did you hear the saying? Two boots of a pair or one field of berries. So: a girl who knows how to stand up for herself is more likely to attract a man - a noble protector, than one who is constantly looking for support from the outside.

Quiz: how much do you love yourself?

Self-loathing is not always obvious. Sometimes a person can go a lifetime believing they have good self-esteem, but not really loving themselves. You will be amazed, but even very successful people, movie stars, top models, successful businessmen, in fact, deep down do not like themselves. Let's now do a little test and determine how much you love and accept yourself, and what you still need to work on.

Give yourself 1 point for each “yes” answer and 0 points for each “no” answer.

1. Do you think that a person should strive for the ideal always and in everything?

2. Do you beat yourself up for mistakes?

3. Do you often panic?

4. Do you want to change a lot in yourself?

5. Would you like your loved ones to change in some way?

6. Do you often judge people?

7. Do you like to criticize someone or something?

8. Do you often compare yourself to others?

9. Are you afraid to be worse than your friends?

10. A loved one criticizes your hairstyle. You like your hairstyle very much. Will you go to the hairdresser just because your friends/parents/lover will advise you to do it?

11. Do you sometimes feel that the people around you do not treat you well enough?

12. Do you systematically feel guilty?

13. Do you regularly have skin problems: pimples, blackheads, etc.?

(If the answer to this question is yes, add 3-5 points to yourself, depending on the severity of the skin problem. Some acne - 3 points, persistent rash - 5 points.)

Perhaps you were surprised by the last question of the test. It would seem, what does facial skin have to do with self-love? Scientists have proven that the most immediate! The fact is that the whole body as a whole and the skin in particular very accurately reflects what is happening in our head. Not so long ago, NLPers and psychologists proved what the representatives of oriental medicine have always known: the body and the brain influence each other. The body is a mirror of what goes on in the head.

Here is the proof! When you experience some kind of strong emotion - anger, fear, resentment, pain, longing, you always feel it not only in your head, but also in your body. For example, fear often reduces the stomach. Sadness hurts in the chest. From anger, the pulse instantly quickens and we literally suffocate with rage. So everything that happens in the head finds its physical expression. Our emotions involuntarily affect the internal organs. And if the impact of emotions was long enough, then unpleasant sensations can turn into a disease.

All physical illnesses are just symptoms of internal psychological conflicts and contradictions.

For example, if your neck hurts, you should think: are you putting too many people on it? And myopia most often suffers from those who are afraid to look far into the future.

So the skin, especially on the face, often reflects how a person perceives himself. Skin problems most often occur in those who do not accept themselves for who they are, and prefer to "wear a mask". They may have an increased sense of shame. These people often try to appear as they want to be seen, and not as they really are. They are too dependent on public opinion and are afraid to lose face. In other words, skin problems often arise not because you take care of it badly, but because you don’t love yourself enough for who you are.

Test results.

If you have got 0 -3 points so you can be congratulated. The level of your self-love allows you, on the one hand, to constantly strive for the best, and on the other hand, not to be an obsessed perfectionist. If you continue to show tolerance and indulgence towards yourself, most likely, all your plans will be implemented quite easily. Most importantly, be careful not to become dependent on the opinions of others. Find the perfect balance: value yourself, but do not forget to value others. And everything will be great!

If you have got 4 -8 points So you're pretty self-critical. Obviously, you haven't given much thought to self-love before, and haven't indulged yourself in a good relationship too much. Perhaps until now you have not felt like the mistress of your own life and did not even suspect that you create all the successes and failures for yourself. If you get used to this idea and take it into service, all things will immediately go uphill! Remember, when you blame others for not loving/respecting/appreciating you enough, it means that you are self-blaming for not loving/appreciating/respecting yourself enough. It's up to you to change that!

If you got more 9 points, so it's time to urgently reconsider the attitude towards yourself. Most likely, most of your problems in your personal life are connected precisely with insufficient self-love. Well, at least now you know that past successes are not at all connected with the fact that you are actually not good enough and unworthy of happy love. Past failures are related to what you do you think yourself not good enough and unworthy of love! Your self-esteem is absolutely biased and frankly hurts you. If you want to change your life for the better, finally admit that you deserve the best. You don't have to deserve anything! You deserve everything you want, just from birth. Remember it! And be sure to work with those exercises that you will meet in this chapter. So you completely eliminate all your problems at the root.

Perhaps, having received the results of the first test, you were not completely satisfied. Especially if you find out that your love for yourself is much less and more modest than you thought. Or maybe you're completely confused. Because in general, you are quite satisfied with yourself. So what exactly is stopping you from falling in love with yourself one hundred percent?

This additional mini-test will help you figure out what qualities you still cannot accept and love in yourself.

Additional test: what exactly do you dislike and do not accept in yourself?

A) Make a list of your acquaintances who annoy you (here you can include sworn enemies, and hated former MCH, and just people who are unpleasant to you for some reason).

B) Opposite each name on the list, write an accusation: what annoys you about this person, what you do not accept in him.

C) So, you have a list of negative traits and shortcomings.

D) No wonder they say that our shortcomings are a continuation of our virtues. Indeed, shortcomings often follow from quite positive traits. For example, stubbornness can develop into stubbornness. Perseverance into obsession. Activity and emotionality into aggression. Immediacy and sincerity may seem to someone to be bad manners and rude straightforwardness. And so on. And now try and find out from what virtues or neutral traits those shortcomings that you criticize in others "grew" from. Make a new list of neutral traits.

So, you have a list of neutral character traits. And this is a list of those traits that you really do not like and do not accept in yourself!

In other words, you have some makings, perhaps even your hidden virtues. But you keep them under strict and vigilant control, apparently afraid that one day these traits will develop into shortcomings that you don’t like so much.

You will probably be surprised, and maybe even outraged. How?! Yes, all these characteristics have absolutely nothing to do with me! Yes, I never allow myself this, unlike all these people. That's it! You don't allow. And you criticize. Which means you don't accept it. As you remember, true self-love implies complete acceptance of yourself and others. You will never be able to accept and love yourself if you do not accept others for who they are.

Imagine that you live in the jungle. There are many different creatures there. Hippos, elephants, monkeys, tigers. Everyone looks and behaves completely differently. But, nevertheless, the animals do not criticize and do not condemn those who are not like them. For example, tigresses do not gossip about an elephant: “Just look at how fat she is. How can you let yourself go like this?!" And giraffes do not condemn the lion: "He eats defenseless roe deer - that's a scoundrel." Maybe a lion and a scoundrel, but he is! He is unique! Since all animals are different, is it possible to talk about what is good and what is bad? What is good for some species is bad for others, and vice versa.

It's the same with people. We are all very different. What is comfortable and right for one may be uncomfortable and disgusting for another. Someone lives in a Swedish family. Someone is happy in polygamy. Someone has never cheated on their spouse in their entire life. Some people don't want to get married at all. And all this is absolutely normal! If you personally do not want to live in a harem - do not live. But at the same time, do not condemn those who made a different choice in love. Remember that any choice is equally worthy of respect! You may think that cheating is disgusting, but when you condemn those who cheat, you seem to be saying: “Bad lion! How can you eat defenseless animals?! After all, I eat vegetables, which means you should too!

We will return to the issue of acceptance. In the meantime, it's time for the first and most important rule in NLP.

Rule number 3.

We live in a diverse and multivariate world. Each person has a unique model of the surrounding space, which can be radically different from the one that exists in other people.

Happy in love will be the one who can accept the world around him in all its diversity. After all, if you accept and recognize human diversity, then you give yourself an unlimited choice of possibilities.

How to love yourself in 5 minutes?

So, you have determined the level of self-love. Maybe you were happy with the results, maybe not. In any case, it doesn't matter. After all, whatever your attitude towards yourself now, you can easily change it. Loving yourself is easy. The main thing is to know how! This is what we are going to talk about now...

Surely the performance of the previous exercises made you once again think about your shortcomings. Perhaps you even thought: “Well, how can I love myself when I have such full hips / small salary / lazy character ?!”

Stop! By reasoning in this way, you put yourself in the vulnerable position of dependence. Many girls constantly ask themselves endless problems: if I lose weight, then I will be beautiful enough, and when I turn out to be beautiful enough, then I will get married, and when I get married, then I will consider myself a realized person, and when I consider myself a realized person, then myself and love.

The irony is that if you reason like that, you are simply choosing a more difficult, tortuous and long path to your goal. And NLP suggests the simplest solution to any problems and the fastest way to achieve goals. Everything is elementary! You can break the vicious circle by changing the way you think. Remove the demands that you made on yourself before, and love yourself right now. And you will see for yourself that the shortcomings for which you scolded yourself so much before will begin to quickly evaporate, and without much effort on your part!

That is, instead of a long journey: to lose weight, get prettier, find a man, marry him, become a full-fledged person, love yourself - you will start from the opposite end, and in this case all the previous stages are realized automatically.

Next time, before berating yourself for any “flaws” or “failures,” think:

– But what if it is this “flaw” that makes me unique and unrepeatable?

“But what if what I criticize so much in myself just attracts the man of my dreams to me?”

– What if, in order to achieve my goals and life plans, I have to be exactly the way I am?

Rule number 4.

Every person from birth has all the necessary resources to realize any dream, achieve any goal! If you want something, if you have an idea, know that you ALREADY have everything you need to achieve it!

Another thing is that we may not know about our merits, resources and talents. After all, most of them are stored in the subconscious. And we very rarely inspect this wonderful warehouse. And if we inspect, then, as a rule, we don’t even think about looking for something useful there.

However, right now you can find out about your hidden resources and virtues unknown to you.

Practical task: discovery of hidden resources.

Make a list of people you admire. You can include there and those whom you envy. Write all your acquaintances (or unfamiliar, for example, stars) who, in your opinion, have certain virtues.

For example: mom is an excellent cook, a good hostess, girlfriend Anya is a beauty, a happy owner of an ideal figure, sister Katya is great at flirting with men, Jennifer Lopez is talented and sings great, etc.

When you make a list of people and their virtues, congratulate yourself. After all, these are all your virtues! Yes, psychologists have established that we notice in other people only those qualities that we potentially have ourselves! Accordingly, all the virtues that you see in other people, you also have. It's just that until now you have not allowed yourself to dispose of them and use them. Perhaps you have never tried to use and develop them. But now that you know what makings you have, it's time to enjoy them!

For example, if it seemed to you that your girlfriend knows how to flirt, but you don’t, understand that you are potentially just the same virtuoso seductress and coquette as she is. It's just that, unlike your friend, you never allowed that ability to manifest. Or maybe she completely blocked her with a false installation “I don’t know how to flirt.” But from now on everything changes. Look how many hidden talents you have! Using them, you will achieve what you want much faster and easier. Just start exploiting your own internal resources!

How is self-love and dislike created?

In NLP, it doesn't matter why you don't love yourself. What's the difference, what are the reasons?! Much more important How change the situation for the better? How love yourself?

Of course, I would like to give you a universal recipe. Do this and that, and you will immediately love yourself, your problems will be solved, and life will turn into a continuous holiday. But, alas, there are no universal recipes. There are only unique recipes. And now you have to find your own unique way to love yourself!

It's pretty simple. To understand How to love yourself, you first need to realize How don't you love yourself now?

What exactly are you doing to not love yourself now?

How do you feel about self-loathing?

How do you create this feeling in your own body?

In NLP it's called strategy .

A strategy is a set of mental and behavioral steps used to achieve a specific outcome.

Do not be afraid if the definition seemed complicated and incomprehensible to you. In fact, everything is simple! As you already know, you create all the sensations, feelings and emotions yourself. This happens on a subconscious level, automatically, and therefore you don’t even notice how this or that feeling is born. For example, you saw the man of your dreams, his image caused you some sensations in your body (rapid heartbeat, warmth in your chest, lightness throughout your body, an unreasonable smile and other symptoms of falling in love). Then an inner voice began to repeat: “It's him! What a handsome! If only he'd pay attention to me!" etc.

Thus, first there was a visual image (V), then some kinesthetic sensations (K), then the sound of an inner voice (A). And here is the result: you are in love!

So, the sequence in which feelings are formed (picture V, sensations K, sound A) is called a strategy!

Each person has a unique strategy (that is, the mechanism for the formation of states). You, without knowing it, have hundreds of strategies for all occasions. The strategy of falling in love, the strategy of hatred, the strategy of cooking borscht, the strategy of writing emails, etc.

Now we need to understand what strategy you use to create a state of dislike for yourself. Once we define this strategy, we can immediately use it to create a state of self-love.

Practical task: defining your strategy.

Think and answer yourself:

- HOW do you feel dislike for yourself? How do you create this state?

– Where exactly in the body do you feel dislike for yourself? What physical sensations does self-loathing make you feel? Can you adjust their intensity? Are these feelings static or moving?

What visual image do you associate with self-dislike? Imagine a picture of self-loathing. What key image sits in your head and makes you not love yourself?

– What sounds, words, speeches undermine your love for yourself? Maybe you have an annoying voice in your ears, constantly criticizing your every move? Maybe you constantly hear unflattering comments? If so, whose voice is this? What exactly does he say that makes you stop loving yourself? When is this voice activated?

The most important! After analyzing your sensations (K), images (V) and sounds (A), try to understand in what order they arise. Where does your dislike for yourself begin? From a certain visual image (V), from a kinesthetic sensation (K) or from an auditory, sound image (A)?

Analyze and write down the VAK sequence. This is your self-loathing strategy.

To make it clearer to you, I will give an example of such an analysis. After all, I also once did not love myself and also changed the situation with the help of this exercise.

Love and dislike for yourself is not a diagnosis. These are states. And states can alternate and change. Today you love yourself, but tomorrow something happened and you stopped loving yourself. And it was important for me to understand how I create these states of love and dislike for myself in order to learn how to manage them.

So, my dislike for myself started from the sound (A). I have noticed that I begin to actively dislike myself when I hear a certain cynical, caustic voice in my head commenting on my appearance, my ideas and actions.

Having carefully analyzed everything, I realized that in moments of dislike for myself I hear the voice of my friend. Very sharp-tongued and sarcastic. From time to time, this voice, for no reason at all, began to sound in my head. And he could turn on at any moment. For example, when I was choosing what to wear: “Are you going to the office in this dress? Well, well, good luck, dear! You look like a provincial prostitute who miraculously earned a ticket to Moscow.” Hearing this voice, I felt heaviness and tightness in my chest, blood rushed to my cheeks, I began to get nervous and angry with myself. After such sensations in the body, pictures of my terrible appearance began to flash in my head. These images made my discomfort and self-hatred worse, and the voice in my head grew louder and louder.

End of introductory segment.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming has been successfully applied in various areas of life. It can be used to achieve professional success, and to create a strong family.

At first glance, NLP techniques for love seem to be completely incompatible phenomena. Many people say that the use of neurolinguistics is contrary to spirituality and ethical principles. However, in fact, there is nothing wrong with using NLP technology for happy love. Neuro-Linguistic Programming only helps people with a depleted map of the world expand it. Thus, it compares the chances of those who, due to certain circumstances, had problems with perception, with those who never experienced such difficulties.

NLP Techniques for Happy Love

There are quite a number of Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques that can be beneficial in personal relationships. In order for the techniques to work, you need to know how and when to apply them. Consider the two most effective NLP techniques for happy love:

Anchoring. With it, you can make it so that one of your touch will bring joy to a person. You have to be very careful when using this NLP technique in love. It is necessary to ask a person to remember some joyful event. As soon as his positive emotions become, you need to fix them with a touch or a word (for example, stroking on the shoulder). In the future, the repetition of this touch will bring the same joy to a person.
Adjustment. Using this NLP techniques for love gives a very effective result. It's no secret that people are attracted to those interlocutors who are similar to them. Thus, in order to please a person, you need to learn how to imitate him. However, this imitation should not be too obvious. It is enough to take a pose that resembles the position of the human body, or try to speak at the same pace or in the same timbre as he does. These NLP methods are effective for happy love, as well as for building friendly, trusting relationships.

How effective are NLP techniques in love?

Many people are quite skeptical about the stories that with the help of NLP you can fall in love with another person. Despite this, Neuro-Linguistic Programming does help achieve happiness in your personal life. Firstly, it increases a person's self-esteem, and confident people, as we all know very well, attract others.

The second benefit aspect NLP tricks to fall in love with yourself loved one is that Neuro-Linguistic Programming helps to make models of the world of lovers congruent. This will not only increase the sympathy between a woman and a man, but also lay the foundation for a strong relationship in which partners will understand each other well. &1

Nobody dies from lack of sex. Dying from lack of love.

Margaret Atwood

Love is a gift!

Love is the most powerful charge of happiness, energy, joy and well-being.

Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.

Love is an absolutely free pleasure available to everyone!

However, the result will depend solely on you.

And this is the main advantage and the main principle of NLP: your personal life depends only on you! You are the sole author of all your novels, and only you decide whether to end the novel with a happy ending or a tragic break.

So, it all depends on you! Not from your appearance, not from your luck, not from your zodiac sign, not from men, not from circumstances, but only from you.

NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, is a science that allows you to change your way of thinking and, accordingly, your life in the shortest possible time.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming can be used in any area of life: health, career, financial improvement, communication with people, negotiations.

No, we want to love and be loved right now. That is why NLP is perfect for our purposes. It is the fastest and most efficient branch of psychology.

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

If interested, I will give an example of how quickly NLP techniques can work.

Veta, 49, complained for ten long years that she was too lazy and couldn't bring herself to go to the gym. When, after a hormonal illness, she noticeably gained weight, the issue of the gym became even more relevant. All her friends advised her to start playing sports, but Veta stubbornly continued to repeat: “I am too lazy for sports. I will never have enough willpower to exercise regularly. Yes, I go for a maximum of a couple of classes, and then I’ll quit anyway. I'm just wasting my money on memberships. To be honest, I even just go to the club and find out the schedule of classes, and then too lazy. After all, there are plenty of other, more useful things to do.” The funny thing is that Veta was never too lazy to complain about her own laziness. Her main problem was that she did not believe in herself. She was deeply convinced that she would never be able to discipline herself and show willpower.

For fun, I suggested that she do a simple NLP exercise to gain confidence (I will definitely describe this exercise in the pages of this book). Since it took 15 minutes at most, Veta was not at all too lazy to do it. I asked how it felt. She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe this will work… we’ll see.” But there wasn't much confidence in her voice. However, the next day she went to a fitness club and signed up for a month. I asked what was the stimulus. And Veta said that at night she saw a strange dream.

- I dreamed that I went into a very beautiful, elite fitness center and met my best friend there. She worked out in the gym and looked great at the same time - twenty years younger! I was so offended by her in my dream. Why did she go alone and not invite me along for company? Cause I really need it! And if I went with her, I would certainly look just as wonderful now!

Impressed by this dream, Veta bought a subscription. And for 6 months she has been regularly doing Pilates twice a week. The most amazing thing is that she absolutely does not have to force herself or resort to straining her will. She does it with pleasure. And sincerely upset if you have to miss a class.

So quickly, in just one night, the brain can learn a new program and give the body the right command.

Another positive example was shown to me by another girl,

Alina, 22 years old.

For five years, Alina suffered from a hopeless relationship with her boyfriend.

“We met from school,” Alina says, “we loved each other, but we couldn’t get along. We both have explosive personalities. The slightest disagreement immediately grew into a wild quarrel with screams, tears, even fights. We broke up and got back together probably a hundred times. Each time my boyfriend asked for forgiveness, assured that this would not happen again, promised to control himself. But after some time, we again began to violently conflict, and for the most trifling reasons.

Alina has long been interested in positive psychology and personal development. So I decided to try NLP techniques.

- When we broke up again, I decided to find a new love. I knew from experience that if I was left alone for a long time, I would eventually get bored and go back to my ex. And I didn't want that. I wanted a completely different relationship. Then I used model of a well-formulated NLP outcome.

The result is an image of your goal, designed to understand what needs to be done and how to act. The trick of the “well-formulated result model” technique is that if you formulate the goal correctly, then the very formulation will already contain a hint on how to achieve what you want.

NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone Eva Berger

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Title: NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone
Author: Eva Berger
Year: 2011
Genre: Self-improvement, Home and Family: other, Family psychology, Foreign psychology

About NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.” Eva Berger

It's no secret that the reason for both our defeats and our victories is hidden, first of all, in ourselves. Each of us remembers the motto: if you want to be happy, be it, but few people seriously thought about its implementation. Eva Berger in her book NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help to fall in love, seduce, marry anyone” tries to convey to the reader the idea that everything depends on him. Our successes and failures are only a consequence of our right or wrong behavior.

Are you unhappy and lonely, have long lost faith that you can meet your loved one, start a family, raise children and enjoy life? Throw away negative emotions - try the Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques outlined by the author. Using the techniques recommended in NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone, you can end loneliness. If you already have a family, but the relationship has gone wrong and lost its former romance, in the bestseller you will find tips and practical recommendations on how to breathe new life into old relationships.

Human psychology is such that we program ourselves for failure. As a result, life passes us by. And sometimes this is also facilitated by some "well-wishers" who also try to plant negative programs in us. Neuro Linguistic Programming can also help with this.

However, the bestseller will help not only to improve the shaken relationship, but also to put an end to them if necessary. It often happens that relationships have reached an impasse for a long time, the couple sees no reason to keep them. However, by inertia we continue to live in the past, no longer hoping for something better. We are afraid to start a new life. Dead end? Not at all. You just need to work on yourself, change yourself. In this, of course, the bestseller Eva Berger will also come in handy with her NLP tips and programs.

Program your life, make it brighter, freer and happier with the help of neurolinguistic programs outlined in the book NLP for happy love by Eva Berger. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.

On our site about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read the online book “NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone” Eva Berger in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and a real pleasure to read. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For novice writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and tricks, interesting articles, thanks to which you can try your hand at writing.

Quotes from the book NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.” Eva Berger

Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.

Love and sex are pleasure, joy and just a very pleasant pastime.

No one can teach a person anything, he can only be helped to find it within himself.

So, in order to achieve the goal, you need to formulate it as competently as possible! After all, the goal is abstract, but the result is always concrete! So be specific! And it will turn from a distant destination into a concrete path that you can walk. To do this, you just need to answer a series of questions. Fill out this form with as much detail as possible. And it is quite possible that today you will receive a hint on how to act and what you need to do to find your love.

My personal life is my game. Here everything will be according to my rules. Everything will be as I want! I am worthy of love and I will get it easily and quickly!

In the meantime, go to the mirror again, smile and say: “I love you! You are beautiful, just the way you are!” You just won the love of the most important and dear person to you!

Every person from birth has all the necessary resources to realize any dream, achieve any goal! If you want something, if you have an idea, know that you ALREADY have everything you need to achieve it!

Introduction

Nobody dies from lack of sex. Dying from lack of love.

Margaret Atwood

Love is a gift!

Love is the most powerful charge of happiness, energy, joy and well-being.

Love is the strongest incentive to look your best, to be young, beautiful, sexy and successful.

Love is an absolutely free pleasure available to everyone!

However, the result will depend solely on you.

And this is the main advantage and the main principle of NLP: your personal life depends only on you! You are the sole author of all your novels, and only you decide whether to end the novel with a happy ending or a tragic break.

So, it all depends on you! Not from your appearance, not from your luck, not from your zodiac sign, not from men, not from circumstances, but only from you.

NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, is a science that allows you to change your way of thinking and, accordingly, your life in the shortest possible time.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming can be used in any area of life: health, career, financial improvement, communication with people, negotiations.

No, we want to love and be loved right now. That is why NLP is perfect for our purposes. It is the fastest and most efficient branch of psychology.

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

If interested, I will give an example of how quickly NLP techniques can work.

Veta, 49, complained for ten long years that she was too lazy and couldn't bring herself to go to the gym. When, after a hormonal illness, she noticeably gained weight, the issue of the gym became even more relevant. All her friends advised her to start playing sports, but Veta stubbornly continued to repeat: “I am too lazy for sports. I will never have enough willpower to exercise regularly. Yes, I go for a maximum of a couple of classes, and then I’ll quit anyway. I'm just wasting my money on memberships. To be honest, I even just go to the club and find out the schedule of classes, and then too lazy. After all, there are plenty of other, more useful things to do.” The funny thing is that Veta was never too lazy to complain about her own laziness. Her main problem was that she did not believe in herself. She was deeply convinced that she would never be able to discipline herself and show willpower.

For fun, I suggested that she do a simple NLP exercise to gain confidence (I will definitely describe this exercise in the pages of this book). Since it took 15 minutes at most, Veta was not at all too lazy to do it. I asked how it felt. She just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe this will work… we’ll see.” But there wasn't much confidence in her voice. However, the next day she went to a fitness club and signed up for a month. I asked what was the stimulus. And Veta said that at night she saw a strange dream.

- I dreamed that I went into a very beautiful, elite fitness center and met my best friend there. She worked out in the gym and looked great at the same time - twenty years younger! I was so offended by her in my dream. Why did she go alone and not invite me along for company? Cause I really need it! And if I went with her, I would certainly look just as wonderful now!

Impressed by this dream, Veta bought a subscription. And for 6 months she has been regularly doing Pilates twice a week. The most amazing thing is that she absolutely does not have to force herself or resort to straining her will. She does it with pleasure. And sincerely upset if you have to miss a class.

So quickly, in just one night, the brain can learn a new program and give the body the right command.

Another positive example was shown to me by another girl,

Alina, 22 years old.

For five years, Alina suffered from a hopeless relationship with her boyfriend.

“We met from school,” Alina says, “we loved each other, but we couldn’t get along. We both have explosive personalities. The slightest disagreement immediately grew into a wild quarrel with screams, tears, even fights. We broke up and got back together probably a hundred times. Each time my boyfriend asked for forgiveness, assured that this would not happen again, promised to control himself. But after some time, we again began to violently conflict, and for the most trifling reasons.

Alina has long been interested in positive psychology and personal development. So I decided to try NLP techniques.

- When we broke up again, I decided to find a new love. I knew from experience that if I was left alone for a long time, I would eventually get bored and go back to my ex. And I didn't want that. I wanted a completely different relationship. Then I used model of a well-formulated NLP outcome.

The result is an image of your goal, designed to understand what needs to be done and how to act. The trick of the “well-formulated result model” technique is that if you formulate the goal correctly, then the very formulation will already contain a hint on how to achieve what you want.

Alina did just that. Having formulated what kind of relationship she needs and with what man she would like to build them, the girl immediately understood how to act.

“After answering the questionnaire with a well-formulated result, I realized what my mistake was,” says Alina, “I wanted a serious relationship, but at the same time I met only infantile young guys who simply could not give me such a relationship. I suddenly realized that I need an older man: successful, smart and confident. With whom I will be interested, from whom I can learn a lot. I also realized that I want to find a man without bad habits, in good physical shape, with a beautiful body. And also - that he was serious about me and was ready for a life together. And then it dawned on me that it was definitely not necessary to look for this in nightclubs, as I usually did. I bought myself a subscription to an elite spa center with a sauna, swimming pool, tennis courts. It was not cheap, but it automatically guaranteed a good social circle. Only successful people come here to relax. Already in the first month of visiting, I met an attractive man. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't walk. And he just divorced his wife. And I began to go to the SPA to put my body and nerves in order after a hard break. We quickly hit it off and started dating. And I realized that most of the problems in our personal lives are due to the fact that we complain too much about the shortcomings in a relationship, instead of formulating goals in love!

NLP for happy love. NLP for happy love NLP for happy love k2k 2 info

Introduction

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

Well-Formed Outcome Model

Who can enjoy happy love?

Signs of true self love

Basic Human Needs

How to love yourself in 5 minutes?

How is self-love and dislike created?

NLP Techniques for Happy Love

How effective are NLP techniques in love?

About NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.” Eva Berger

Quotes from the book NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.” Eva Berger

Introduction

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

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NLP for happy love. NLP for happy love NLP for happy love k2k 2 info

Introduction

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

Well-Formed Outcome Model

Who can enjoy happy love?

Signs of true self love

Basic Human Needs

How to love yourself in 5 minutes?

How is self-love and dislike created?

NLP Techniques for Happy Love

How effective are NLP techniques in love?

About NLP for Happy Love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.” Eva Berger

Quotes from the book NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.” Eva Berger

Introduction

How NLP Works: Real Life Examples

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