Funny ditties about seeing off your retirement. Funny ditties about a woman's pension

for a man's birthday

for the hero of the day - in unison

for a woman's birthday - a comic dedication to a woman's pensioners

Competitions for pensioners will be interesting
Leading: Dear friends! Just a moment! Sensation! Children from kindergarten have just arrived at our holiday.

(The role of “children” can be played by relatives or colleagues of the hero of the day. It is advisable to take men for the role of girls - tie bows, wear sundresses or pantaloons, soft toys in the hands)

They arrived with a congratulatory program. We ask all guests to greet the children warmly and kindly. So, welcome!
(The “children” enter the hall, holding hands, shyly, with toys in their hands.)

Option 1 for the male hero of the day:

Today is a merry holiday,
To everyone's surprise.
Grandfather Vanya Ivanov
Let's celebrate a birthday.

And not just a birthday -
And today is the anniversary.
To hear congratulations -
Get into the circle quickly.

Congratulations on your anniversary
And we wish, dear grandfather,
You good health
And attention for a hundred years.

We want to wish grandpa,
To be afraid of boredom,
So that physical work
Hands were busy.

When you retire,
So don't get confused -
Buy rabbits and nutrias,
Work with them.

You, grandfather Vanya, don’t get sick,
Forget where the pharmacy is.
You take one hundred grams on your chest -
You will live for two centuries.

How will you receive your pension?
Don't get too proud
Remember the commandment of Christ -
Share with your neighbor.

All guests here are dear
They are having fun and drinking vodka.
Maybe we should congratulate you
Will they give you ice cream?

For little ditties like this
Don't be stingy, dear grandfather,
From your first pension, buy us
One hundred chewing gums and sweets.

Option 2 for a female hero of the day:

The three of us with my girlfriends
We composed and we sing.
Young pensioner
This is the advice we give.

How will you retire?
Look, don't be nonsense.
Buy perfume and cream, -
Look in the mirror more often.

You, Lyubasha, don’t be sick,
Don't go to the pharmacy
Better stop by more often
To the club for a disco.

How are you going to retire?
So don't get confused -
Find yourself, grandpa,
Have fun with it.

Get dressed, dress up,
Don't part with your iron.
Happy first pension, Lyubasha,
Run straight to us.

Let's sit, sing, cry,
Let's grieve over fate
After all, we can’t do otherwise
This life has been given a fight.

After all, today is our holiday -
Birthday, anniversary,
And now come on, Lyubasha,
Pour us a glass each.

We sang as best we could,
We danced as best we could
If everything were possible -
We'd like to retire!

Option 3 for a man in chorus:

We are funny guys.
Of course, everyone is happy to see us.
Happy birthday to grandfather Vanya
Congratulations kindergarten.

Grandfather Vanya! You accept
Congratulations.
I wish you happiness
For all future days.

You worked hard
You've earned honor
And now retired
Another life will flow.

You'll buy Mamba for your entire pension,
"Mars" and chocolate.
To have such a grandfather
Every granddaughter will be happy.

Be healthy, be strong, grandfather,
Dispel all boredom
To wait from granddaughters
Little great-grandchildren.

So that they love you
carried on hands
And from your pension
They didn't ask for money.

Days and years will fly by.
It will be about seventy-five years.
Let's get together again
Celebrate your anniversary.

In chorus:
Here's a souvenir from us -
We give a blue ball.
Don't get old and be cheerful
And keep your tail up!

COOL DITS

ditties - jokes that can liven up any holiday

I usually get drunk
I'm banging my head against the wall.
Is it the alcohol that works?
Is it due to age?

🙂
There is fog above the ground,
Zero visibility.
A man lies at the stall -
Russian real estate.

🙂
A wonderful fact is evident:
The chicken teaches the egg.

These are the times - all the eggs are hard!

🙂
My wife is a cook,
Cooks soup from a cube.
From such a cube
I wouldn't be given a blow.

Who has what hobby?
I finally have atas:
I pour, I drink,
And I scare the toilet.

A tourist met a bear
At the birch stump:
“You will be a tourist’s breakfast,
And I will be a tourist."

They sang ditties for you here
The girls are funny.
They hurt someone
Well-aimed jokes.

In our army according to fashion
They dress all the soldiers.
My fiancé Volodya writes to me:
Every day they give you an outfit.

How harsh they are sometimes
Chromosomal Affairs:
There's Petrov's wife
The black girl gave birth.

The old woman says to her grandfather:
"I'm going to America,
I'll go to a brothel
I will live by my labor.”

My darling is crazy
He offered me oral sex.
Climb under the blanket -
He screamed and I screamed.

The old grandfather was reading Playboy,
And he challenged the old woman:
“What were you, old woman, hiding?
Beauty under the veil"?

Tell me, dear mother,
How to react?
Just rent a milk,
Just privatize?

Unreliable girls
The country has been overrun.
Nowadays, rely
Only for my wife.

It used to be, it’s a shame
You can't see your legs from under the skirt.
And now, here is grace -
How it bends - you can see everything.

Our Vanek was sitting under a maple tree
Not with me, but with the punks.
I thought it was also green,
It turned out to be blue

They say I'm a fighter
I will still be more militant.
There are four grandfathers for me
They went out to duel.

Even though we are in old clothes,
And there's no problem in your pockets.
But with us, as before,
There's noodles hanging on my ears

I came home from work
Lo and behold, there are someone's boots in the hallway.
Size approximately forty seven.
Should I leave completely?

There used to be times
And now the moments.
Even the elephant has a cat
Asks for alimony.

Took a Thai pill
I thought I would lose weight.
And now it's been a week
I have a stomach ache.

My little darling is like a calf,
Everything will not grow into a bull.
No, so that growth would go to the root,
This is how only horns grow.

I took a bite of denatured alcohol
I'm kind of babbling.
This is the third day in a row
I poop dynamite.

Dad is never home
Warms Aunt Lida
Mom is warming herself with a heating pad,
Whom does he rely on?

Under the cart, across the river,
I was tumbling with my godfather.
Godfather caught us doing this -
We both shine our lanterns.

Together, women, let's raise the ruble.
Whom to rely on?
It's not the first time we've raised
Anything that moves a little.

If the wedding is coming to the house,

And little ditties about the wedding

Sing, honest people!

Favorite Holiday recommends: To make the wedding a success, take care in advance about the host of the wedding celebration. A good toastmaster will organize the holiday in such a way that both the bride and groom will be happy, and the wedding party will sing and dance to the delight of themselves and the newlyweds.

Scenes for a woman's retirement

If you are tasked with preparing a farewell ceremony for your friend or relative, then try to make this anniversary evening as fun and interesting as possible.

After all, seeing off retirement is an important milestone in the life of any person.

Prepare a retirement scenario that will include funny ditties, games and skits.

Scenes for seeing off a woman’s retirement should be funny and cool, so that there is no regret that an important stage of life has been passed.

Cool scene for seeing off retirement

Characters: God of Work, God of Vacation, Goddess of Salary, Goddess of Pension.

Props: costumes for the gods are made from ordinary sheets, head wreaths are made from artificial branches or paper.

Host: There is an old legend about how candidates for pensioners are accepted: a whole council is convened on the divine Olympus - to accept or not to accept? And everything happens like this... (The Gods enter the hall.)

God of Work (addresses other gods): I, the God of Work - Truden - have gathered all of you on the professional Olympus and solemnly announce: we have a new candidate for retirement!

Gods: Oh, how great! How nice!

God of Work: Yes, that means we have work again! Now we will thoroughly check this candidate. I'll be the first to start!

Truden approaches the colleagues of the hero of the occasion and asks them questions: did she work well, did she help others out, did she quarrel with her superiors, etc.

God of Work: Well, candidate, you are lucky: your colleagues characterize you with dignity. But this is not enough. Come on, God of Vacation, now do your check!

God of Vacation: I am the God of Vacation - Gulban. Work without rest is like winter without snow. Now I’ll check if you’ve learned to rest properly!

1. Choose the right option (you, guests, can also choose - we’ll check you at the same time!) - Canary Islands, Maldives, Hawaii or dacha?

2. Question two: diving, surfing, snorkeling or fishing?

3. Question three: Martini, Hennessy, Jack Daniels or homemade wine?

God of Vacation (sums up): dreaming is not harmful, but you need to relax within your means!

God of Work: Okay. And now over to the Salary Goddess!

Goddess of Salary: I am the Goddess of Salary - A pretty penny. It's time to say goodbye forever, dear candidate.

Do you remember how you waited for me every month? How did you count days and even minutes? And then, after waiting, she called me miserable, pathetic, insignificant! And then she spent it all, to the last...

But I don’t hold a grudge, it’s all in the past. Now will you meet the Goddess of Pension, and will you promise to protect and respect her? Do you promise that your children will not take her away from you? Do you promise to buy chocolates for your grandchildren with her help?

The hero of the occasion promises.

God of Work: So, candidate, you passed all the tests with honor! We officially accept you into the ranks of full-fledged pensioners and place you at the disposal of the Goddess of Pension!

Goddess of Pension: I am the Goddess of Pension - Pension! From now on, I’m taking patronage over you. But first, you need to take the pensioner’s oath.

I, A YOUNG PENSIONER, ENTERING THE RANKS OF PENSIONERS,
IN THE FACE OF MY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES I SOLEMNLY SWEAR:
-WAIT, LOVE AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR PENSION.
-DO NOT SPEND IT ON MEDICINES AND DOCTORS.
-USE IT FOR ITS PURPOSE: FOR ENTERTAINMENT, CRUISES AND NEW OUTFITS.
I SWEAR! I SWEAR! I SWEAR.

And now I’m giving you a real savings book, big enough to fit numbers with ten zeros in it! (Gives a drawn savings book. You can arrange a cash gift in this way - put an envelope with money or a gift certificate in it.)

The gods put a homemade “Honorary Pensioner” medal on the hero of the occasion.

A funny scene for seeing off your retirement

A participant comes out, poorly dressed, in a headscarf, approaches the future pensioner and sings her a song to the tune of “I’m standing at a stop in a colorful half-shawl.”

I came to you unexpectedly,
Not at all long-awaited
I'm sorry - it's not my fault!
I'll just say that I don't believe it
And I will check your passport:
You look only 17 years old! (repeat last line)

You are smart, beautiful,
I like everything about you so much!
I suggest we be strong friends!
After all, you are now free,
I confess publicly:
It's so fun to live on retirement!

So that we can have a glass,
I'll take it out of my bag
Reliable Russian antidepressant! (takes out a bottle of vodka)
We'll drink to our friendship
And we will raise optimism,
After all, a pension is a guarantor of stability!

Scene-remake of the song “Call me, call”

During the introduction before the song, one person at a time comes out and stands with their back to the hero of the day; their hands should not be visible - a white school apron is hidden in them; for the introduction, they put on aprons and turn to the hero of the day, in general, so that there is intrigue and surprise.

The days flew by
It's your turn
In native management
Try on the role of the hero of the day.
Our service is only one
You gave your all,
They've been waiting for him for thirty-five years
They waited for him for thirty-five years -
The long-awaited graduation!

All exams passed
In local Dumas and in the Ministry of Finance.
All budgets have been reduced
And the reforms have been experienced.
Here is the labor code
I gave you permission for your experience,
To come to the financial department,
To come to the financial department
Anniversary graduation!

We want to confess to you:
We respect you very much,
We tell you from the bottom of our hearts:
Happy anniversary!
We have been given traditions
We do not retreat from them:
We're starting graduation
We're starting graduation!
Call, call!

They turn towards the place where they will take out the “first-grader” with a bell

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portal of humor and jokes

Funny poems about retirement

Long live liberation
People from sorrowful labor!
May there always be a pension,
Like a prize According to Pike's command!
Don't be discouraged, be alive -
The Caribbean and Maldives are waiting for you!
And if they still don’t wait,
So they will give you a pension for that!

We can congratulate you
And it's not too early.
Life - it seems
Like a baboon.

He's gray and ugly
But from the rear it’s red.
Everything will be alright -
Retirement is wonderful!

Here it is, the turning point,
When fate grants you freedom,
And you don’t have to work if you’re lazy,
And a free bird, even into fire, even into water.
We congratulate you on your retirement
And we wish you only bright days,
We wish you troubles at home with tea,
So that life is calmer and wiser.

Everyone calls you a respectable lady
And they give hundreds of flowers;
Retirement - for many
The limit of a pipe dream.

They are pressed by important work
And doesn’t let me rest,
And you were able to say firmly:
Go away, work, God bless you!

And we congratulate you on this,
We wish you a bright path,
And we sincerely wish
Retire soon!

At twenty-five she suffered:
“I’m not twenty anymore.”
At twenty-nine I stopped
Sing and smile.
At forty-five, she has no time for berries,
Angry that he's not thirty:
“Every year - a year older!
How not to swear?
And the neighbor, on the contrary,
More vigorously year after year...
And he yells like “Tu” on takeoff:
"Pension! Freedom!"

Retirement is fast approaching!
According to work and honor!
But in powder flasks
There was and is gunpowder!

Everything is exactly as it was:
There is salt in the salt shaker,
There are two soaps in the soap dish,
There are beans in the tureen!

There are needles in the syringes,
There are knives in the sheath...
The only thing missing is a shelf -
Put your teeth down!

You are as smart as a pioneer
Energetic and slim
You are now a pensioner -
Let the country be jealous.
Having repaid the debt of labor to the fatherland,
Congratulations.
And now for my personal life
There will be fabulous days.

You know, a pension is the same salary
But you don’t have to work hard;
There is no need to suffer, there is no reason to be upset -
On the contrary: it will be easier for you to meet
With friends, with girlfriends, with grandchildren... In general,
We’ve retired and we live and don’t complain:
After all, it is impossible to imagine a better destiny!
And I want to congratulate you on this fact!

Well, that's it, now it's definitely time
We will fulfill all your dreams skillfully,
We shout to you: Hurray! Hooray!
Still tired of working.
Now you can sleep for a long time,
Watch your TV all night
Then eat, sleep again,
And don't forget about miracle thoughts.
Now you can do more
Read everything that was too early.
Watch movies, write poetry.
You are permanently retired!

Finally, a mega vacation,
What we wish for the rest of our lives!
Happy retirement
We congratulate you.

Do whatever you want
From now on you can.
Maybe children with their children
Help me sit.

Congratulations dear
Our hearts go out to you from all our hearts!
And don't think about age:
Life, after all, has just begun.

You're retired! And this
It's a great way to celebrate!
Congratulations advice
We want to give you:
Look in the refrigerator
Whatever you find, bring it here!
And then break the alarm clock,
To shut up forever!

It's time to look for a job
Yes - to storm a career,
But then the time comes
Just live and relax.

Everything they wanted to do,
But we didn’t have time with work,
All hobbies and interests,
Grandchildren, dacha, entertainment:
There is time for everything!
This is called a pension!

Funny congratulations to a woman on her retirement

The time has finally come for you to take care of yourself,
Beauty salons to visit in the morning,
And shaping workouts after lunch are just right,
And in the evening, so that you can devote time to the theater.
From a schedule so that you don’t get tired,
And we never lost our youthful souls!

The ore days are behind us,
There is no need for you to grieve about them.
The best is ahead of you,
And you won't have to be sad.
Go to the sea, to a resort.
Must visit abroad:
Foreign make a passport
And go conquer London!
Retirement is not a reason to be sad
This is a reason life to the fullest live!
Soon you will be able to understand this,
You won't have to suffer from idleness.

You are the first employee of us
Successfully skated a “long program”
And at the most opportune time
She left the ice without tears or melodrama.
You have a great responsibility!
We are our day tomorrow
Today we measure yours:
We balance sensuality and everyday life,
Victory, maturity and experience of loss.
You must set an example for us:
Uninhibited feelings and communication,
Mobility both in summer and winter,
Good health without a doubt.
And now we decided to paint it
Your week in a new style:
I must go to the pool on Tuesdays!
On Wednesdays, run in the gym or in the park!
On Thursdays you can drink coffee in the morning!
And on Friday - “hodden”! But only without “parking”!
On Saturday, Sunday accept
Guests, children and grandchildren with impatience,
To start a new week
In a good and cheerful mood!
And on Monday? - Finally, you can rest,
Loving yourself and pampering yourself a little.
We are burning with white envy
And we want to get to this state!

Your life is now free:
Ahead - “free program”:
If you want, sleep, but if you want, have fun.
If you want, starve, but if you want, get better
(Only this task is difficult to complete:
Eating a lot of fat is impossible today!)
If you want, open a cooperative,
If you want, travel with a letter of credit.
Monaco and Valencia are waiting for you
(If you have income other than a pension!)
If you want, watch a movie in the morning,
Or open the window wide
And hula hoop for hours.
But. be careful not to tear your navel,
Because you are no longer twenty years old -
There is a danger of overstraining the hoop.
If you don’t want to “twist”, lie down,
Or tie a sweater for your husband:
You have long dreamed of tying him up,
There just wasn't enough time for it. , -
If your husband comes home from work late,
Be very careful in your questions:
It wasn’t then that she retired. to go home
It was tense.
Maybe he really has a meeting,
Or again - a “business meeting”. -
You will live calmer, more fun,
If you can be more tolerant and smarter.

Comic congratulations on retirement for a woman

Without getting into the wilds,
I'll say this, guys:
No offense to the zebra,
Life is not striped!

We can congratulate you
And it's not too early.
Life - it seems
Like a baboon.

He's gray and ugly
But from the rear it’s red.
Everything will be alright -
Retirement is wonderful!

In life, everyone has very different
Bright, personal, kind holidays.
Let's celebrate with fun, celebrations and songs
Celebrating retirement from work!
New life this day begins
Your back straightens proudly on this day!
The soul is free, like a bird flies.
A pensioner sounds proud!

Anyone who is afraid of retirement is wasting their time.
You cannot become famous through fear and illness.
“Don’t go to the tavern, because there’s an old woman sitting there.”
Nicknamed Shapoklyak.”
Those who are proud of their pension do not waste time,
He is vigorous, healthy and cheerful from spring to November.
Therefore, I advise everyone:
“Work miracles! And the old woman will run away
Into the dense forests.

In the kind eyes of a pensioner
You can see the pioneer
That mischievous little flame
So cute and funny.

You are now retired
Not a worker, not a sapper,
We are happy to congratulate you
And we will glorify all the merits.

Now the time has come to you,
Take a well-deserved rest and peace.
It's time to take off your work robe, like a burden,
And go with the flow, following the river of time.
We wish you success with all our hearts,
More joy, brightness, laughter to you.
And let your grandchildren not forget you,
Teasing, kissing and respecting

We hug you tightly
And we wish you many years to come.
Congratulations on your retirement,
Let the quartet sing in your honor.
Let love be your gift,
For your efforts and success.
Rejoice, laugh and live brightly,
Forget about grief and memory interference.

We congratulate you with all our hearts,
You showed yourself to the world perfectly.
Don't let retirement bother you.
After all, life is wide for everyone personally.
We are grateful to you, live in love,
And enjoy freedom and happiness.
Let your destiny be filled with passion,
And they would take part in this.

Everything worked, everything fluttered,
Without harming anyone.
It seems like I’m not tired,
And now the pension has arrived.
Dear, congratulations,
Congratulations from the bottom of our hearts.
We wish you strength and vigor,
So go ahead and dance.
Let your friends be jealous
Let your friends be jealous.
You're at the dacha from stress
Don't die, because you can't do that.
All the workdays are behind us,
What an endless series
The suns of day were replaced by nights of the moon,
They seemed hopeless at times.
There is no need to be ashamed of your status
After all, decades of work
A woman deserves a rest -
We present the document that, as before, she is young!
We wish you retirement
Dreams come true
And for myself, my beloved,
Live as you want.
To lie around to your heart's content
On paradise islands
And swing to your heart's content
On blue waves.
So that all dreams come true,
So that the heart beats sweetly,
So that everything you dreamed about
It quickly came true.
A lot of days in a row
On the road, meeting the sunrise and sunset
You went to work to work,
You should be proud of your life!
Wonderful grandmother, kind mother,
We are used to working and being on time everywhere.
Today we see you off to retirement
And to the whole team we sincerely wish:
Never be bored, never get sick,
Getting younger every day
And live to be a hundred years old
Without sadness and without troubles!
You've made your career
And this work is impeccable.
Your work style and manners
Followers will save.
Everyone remembers these achievements,
Invaluable contribution, kindness,
How you lifted your spirits
How they drank tart wine.
Now we're going on vacation,
To contemplate the world calmly.
We wish you harmony in your soul,
To create your own fairy tale.
I gave a lot of years
Life in righteous works,
So I honestly deserve it
Your old age with money.
Now is your time,
Live for yourself now,
And with neighbors on the bench
People should wash the bones.

Without loss and without loss,
It will be the best of all awards
You are in excellent health,
Feelings of wonderful flood.
You value your happiness
Take care and store!

We wish you on your good, bright day:
Do not leave the land of love and dreams,
So that your eyes are not obscured by shadows,
So that your hands don't wash away your tears,
May you be lucky and have no reason
For anxiety from adversity and troubles,
From now on, for unknown torments
You don't have any room in your soul!

And tomorrow you don’t have to go to work!
Now you have a day off on weekdays.
You have retired to your well-deserved rest,
Leaving behind everyday worries.
Hurry in the morning to do a bunch of things,
You always tried to be in time everywhere,
Carrying a heavy burden for all women.
Now the home hearth is your destiny.
You won't suffer from boredom:
There will be no less business in the house over the years.
Most likely, we will miss you -
Tomorrow we will begin to miss you.
Thank you for being in the world,
Such a sincere, sweet person!
You will remain in our hearts forever,
And our evening today is in your honor!

Farewell to retirement songs-remakes

Old bones
Rheumatism and retirement
Tablet bottles,
Serial until evening...
Let them talk about it
Grandmothers on the bench
You, my friend, forget it
About the sofa and slippers!
You, my friend, forget it
About the sofa and slippers!
Chorus:
Don’t thicken the colors, my friend,
Saying "I'm getting old" about myself,
Don't tell us fairy tales
We still don't believe you!
At least it's good at home,
There's nothing to relax
Not for that, my friend,
You are going to retire.
Like foreigners, you
Go on tour playfully,
And you will be like them
Live in peace!
And you will be like them
Live in peace!
Chorus:
Don’t thicken the colors, my friend,
Saying "I'm getting old" about myself,
Don't tell us fairy tales
We still don't believe you!
And we came here
Also not for show
And they brought it to you
Apples are rejuvenating!
Nonsense about old age
Never listens
Who are these apples?
He eats every evening!
Who are these apples?
He eats every evening!
Chorus:
Don’t thicken the colors, my friend, when you say “I’m getting old” about myself,
Don't tell us fairy tales
We still don't believe you!

Everyone rushes to congratulate you on your pension,
They wish you happiness, light and goodness.
Your work will be praised today,
You deserve a rest, Hurray for you!
We wish you feminine happiness without measure,
And let your laughter ring joyfully!
For you, everyday life and nerves are now over.
Now live only for yourself!

They came to work as a girl in color,
Go away - a mature lady.
The years have flown by, changing the planet,
And you have changed over the years.
Both carelessness and youthful dreams are gone,
You have become more patient since then,
You have become calm, wise, and serious,
Remaining as beautiful as before.

All your life you are like a squirrel in a wheel -
Work, home, family, work again.
And no free time at all
There was no rest - always busy with business, worries...
And so, today we congratulate you!
It's time for a well-deserved rest
It has arrived, and we sincerely wish you
Health, happiness, life without hassle!

On a working day from year to year
They always brought goodness to the people,
In winter and summer without embellishment -
You were a joy to us!
Now it's time to retire
After all, there are grandchildren and children at home!
Good luck, happy bright days
We send our greetings to our employee!

Cool congratulations on your retirement

Congratulations format

In verse
In prose
Cool

Whom are we seeing off?

Let your grandchildren hang on you in clusters,
And diseases will disappear like warts,
All problems will not be serious,
Days of relaxation and rest are coming!

You can create an account on Instagram,
Like and frame young girls.
Now live according to your own young program.
At retirement age you can still live and live!

Especially for Datki.net

What’s in your pension, I ask,
What can you afford for it?
Okroshka with liver in a saucepan
And half a loaf of bread, oh my!

But retirement is not at all hopeless,
It is given for thought.
It's possible to relax on it
And drink a “cup” of strong wine.

In retirement you can visit your grandchildren,
Hang yourself up and upside down
Walk around pretending to be Bug Bear,
Create whatever comes to your mind!

Retirement is not a death sentence
And not yet old age,
This is the starting threshold
To step where the joy is.

Can I visit my grandchildren?
From now on, whenever you want,
Water the garden,
Fertilizing day and night,

Old friends to visit,
Remember your past youth,
Well, better - more fun
Celebrate her, dear!

Every age has its charms -
Caries will not touch dentures.
Glasses are now a necessary accessory,
Not only fashionable - beloved!

It's easier to be in trend as a lady with a dog,
And don’t fly to the minibus like a driven nag.
Meeting friends while doing makeup at home,
And at work - darkness, a report in three volumes!

And who said that retirement is the end of the road? -
Create, dare, look forward with confidence.
Keep your nose up and keep your thoughts open,
Jog around your apartment!

Anniversary with direct fire
During retirement years.
Be joyful and strong
The fact is that happiness is always there.

Congratulations to you warmly
With the end of work
And we wish you carefree
New looking for concerns.

Let your pension open up
New paths.
And they will always be able
Trample them on your feet.

Let your pension show you
There are surprises in our world,
And in the end, let me
All sorts of whims for yourself.

The words sound good
And the toasts don't stop -
After all, our team is good
Accompanying you to retirement.

Everyone will be fine today
At the farewell holiday,
That's why everyone came
To support you in the main things.

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Myths and truth about marriage

CONTENT

POPULAR NEWS

CONGRATULATING POEMS, WISHES,

for retirement

Poems, wishes, toasts

Funny songs-remakes

Song of a newly minted pensioner
(To the tune of the song “Sasha + Masha” by Star Factory-4)

The sun rises and sets
Tears are falling from the eyes,
Full of sadness and sadness
I'll tell you a story.
The years fly by quickly
And no one is waiting for me
And I quietly advance -
Here I am - your pension!

But don’t be sad, saying goodbye over the years,
I promise income and only him,

I'm so young
It's only half a day for me,
But when I come, I don’t disappear,
Wait for me every month.
I'm becoming more and more desirable
Having gained weight over the years,
I will become indispensable
I am your pension!

And don’t be sad, saying goodbye over the years,
I promise income and only him,
I’ll add freedom, I’ll add comfort,
We will live with you, VO. damn, oh my!

So that you don't forget,
That I have come forever,
Here's a paper for you
And an advance for everything.
Look how good I am
And, rustling with banknotes,
You will be irresistible
Like me - The pension is yours!

Yes, don’t be sad, saying goodbye over the years,
I promise income and only him,
I’ll add freedom, I’ll add comfort,
We will live with you, VO. damn, oh my!

I'm going to retire
(To the tune of the song “It’s time to hit the road”)

Before leaving I still
I will kiss everyone warmly
And I’ll spit over my left shoulder three times.

It's time for me to rest
In any weather
The TV screen will show me the sun.

I'm going to retire, retire, retire,
Maybe I will be sad, or maybe I will be happy.
But there will be time for friends
And on an excursion to the museum,
And just wander somewhere like a mouthful.

It's time for me to rest
On my beloved, my dear, old sofa.
In any weather
There's a novel waiting for me under my pillow.

Everyone wants to retire!

(To the tune of the song “Dance of the Ducklings”, lyrics by Yu. Entin, music by T. Werner)

From the bosses to the guys –
Everyone wants to retire
Everyone wants to retire
Not in vain, not in vain:
You can give up on everything
And set off on a long journey,
And set off on a long journey –
Forests and seas!
And nature is good
And the weather is good
No, it’s not in vain that the soul sings,
Not in vain, not in vain:
Without worries and without hassle,
Without rush jobs and work,
What do we need plans and report –
To the lantern!
All hard workers need
The will to return
We are terribly happy

From the minister to the guys –
Everyone wants to retire
Everyone wants to retire
Not in vain, not in vain:
We've plowed for so many years,
A ticket to freedom has been given,
We wave our hands after
Hello giving.
Hello, sun, river, home,
We spin in a mischievous dance,
We spin in a mischievous dance,
Heartbroken.
Untired from work
Not immediately, but he will understand us,
Everything will be sorted out over the years
And diligently sings:
Not in vain, not in vain!
All hard workers need
The will to return
We are terribly happy
It’s so wonderful to live freely!
All hard workers need
The will to return
We are terribly happy
It’s so wonderful to live freely!

From the minister to the guys –
Everyone wants to retire
Everyone wants to retire
Not in vain, not in vain!
Don't run after me
I'm retiring
I'm retiring
Having lifted the anchors!
There is no better will in the world,
There is no better will in the world,
And our pensions are a secret
Not revealed in vain:
You relax all year round
And look at the bank account
Growing monthly
Giving interest!
All hard workers need
The will to return
We are terribly happy
It’s so wonderful to live freely!

On the pension side

(To the tune of “Song of a Student”, music by D. Tukhmanov)

On the pension side,
On another planet
I have to be lazy
The best in the world.
How rejoiced I am -
Can't say in words
Envy me, friends,
Day and night.
Let's shake goodbye
We are each other's hands
And I'll leave this house
I'm listening to the sounds of songs.

Here I stand, holding an oar,
I'll set off in a moment.
I'm terribly lucky -
The days of happiness have come.
The water splashes quietly,
Let's take a running jump!
Remember sometimes
Your colleague.

Many winters and many years
We worked hard together
Keeping the holy vow
Loyalty and honor.
Well, then always be
Alive and healthy!
I believe the day will come when
We'll meet again.
I'll gather you all together
On your centenary
I promise I won't die
You are responsible for your words!

If they don't drive you crazy
Great-grandchildren and grandchildren,
The mess won't start
Cases under drill sounds.
If doctors are doctors,
That our people are being treated,
And icicle bricks
What if they don't hurt you?
If I don't drink myself to death
At a drunken party
I'll definitely be back
To you, friends, girlfriends!

Here I stand, holding an oar,
I'll set off in a moment.
I'm terribly lucky -
The days of happiness have come.
The water splashes quietly,
Let's take a running jump!
Remember sometimes
Your colleague.

My rest is deserved
(To the tune of the song « My sail is white » from the film “12 Chairs”, lyrics. and music Y.Kim)

No, I don't cry or cry,
That I’m celebrating my retirement anniversary,
That our life is a game, and who is to blame?
Why do the years fly by like an arrow?

And to whom should I apologize?
It's time to rest - I can't refuse.
For my talent for work and my passion for work
PF appointed a modest fee.

Let the cruel wind rage
In the fog of the seas of life,
I won't worse than kings!

And you must agree, what a delight
Live and live for yourself, basking in the warmth of the sun,
My fate is such a graceful turn
It promises good luck, like a queen's move.

I still don’t see the edge of life,
I have to move forward without losing heart.
I’ll leave the analysis of my sins for now -
You need to accept all the gifts from life!

Let the cruel wind rage
In the fog of the seas of life,
My rest is deserved and I can live without hassle
I will be no worse than kings!

Owes you all career growth,
It’s not easy for me to leave you, friends.
Life is such, alas, that from one’s worries
I turned gray a little earlier than the others.

But I don't cry and I don't sob.
Although I don’t know where I’ll find it or where I’ll lose it.
And it may very well be that to your misfortune
I'll lose more than I find.

Let the cruel wind rage
In the fog of the seas of life,
My rest is deserved and I can live without hassle
I will be no worse than kings!
My rest is deserved and I can live without hassle
I will be no worse than kings!

Your Honor, The pension is sad

(To the tune of the song “Your Honor, Lady Luck”, lyrics by B. Okudzhava)

Your Honor, the pension is sad,
For some it is final, and for others it is initial,

You're death in white slippers, wait, don't call.
If diseases come, crush them!

Your Honor, the pension has been calculated,
For some it varies, but for you it’s brought up.
You will spend money with your lovely wife.

You will plunge into business completely headlong,
You will spend money with your lovely wife.

Your Honor, old age pension,
For some it is kind, but for others it is simple.
You will be lucky in happiness and love in retirement.

You are happy to catch good luck in your net,
You will be lucky in happiness and love in retirement.

Your Honor, pension is a victory
This means you can sleep now even until lunchtime!

Pension in an envelope, friendly family.
Well, we are true friends to death.

Don't look down on your pension

(To the tune of the song “Moments”)

Don't think down on your pension
The day will come
You yourself will probably understand
That the years are like bullets to the temple,
And every moment is precious to us.

Retire with your head up,
You go and cheer up,
Let the beautiful globe bloom,
Spring in the soul, and inspiration in the heart!

Let everything be as I dreamed in my youth:
Fishing, dacha, strawberries, girl, -
Another countdown, another wheel,
To whom are you a groom, and to whom are you a grandfather!

Have you managed to reach retirement?

(To the tune of the song “Five Minutes”)

We will sing you a song about the anniversary,
There are no more fun anniversaries
The years are rushing by at full speed,
And getting closer every year,
And the new anniversary is getting closer.

Don't be sad, don't regret,
That many years have passed by,
Look more fun
Somewhere, something has become better.
Have fun from the heart
There's no need to waste a day,
Make some noise and make a mistake
Without delaying for a year.
The hero of the day, hurry up,
Make some noise and make a mistake
Without delaying for a year.

The whole department has now come to see him off,
And everyone really wanted to congratulate you,
Kind words everyone has enough
And they are clothed in poetry
And the glass rang invitingly.

You managed to reach retirement,
We can and should congratulate you on this,
We wish you good health,
Surrounded by love,
And we want to raise a glass to you.

We saw you off as you retired.

(To the tune of the song “My mother saw me off when I became a soldier”)

How we saw you off to retirement
And one by one they shook your hands!
Oh, where did you go from work?
There is so much work ahead!

Involuntarily you went, or willingly,
Tea, boredom will make you disappear without work!
Times have moved on nicely now,
How much pension have you got?

Well, now they will take you on bail
Children and grandchildren to your family team!
You won't have to pay for the combination.
They have a lot of things for you to do!

Retirement is just around the corner for us,
Let's go slowly, following you,
Write down all our addresses,
Come and visit us all too!

You want to get away from household chores,
Come work with us again,
We will see you again in the team,
We’ll find a job, we won’t offend you!

Pionerskaya-Pensionerskaya

(To the tune of the song “Soar with fires, blue nights!”)

Raise your bonfires, blue nights!
The mayor and the worker are retiring,
Each employee after work
Get ready for retirement!

We see you off with great dignity,
Of course, we will be calm for you.
No, you won’t get sour at home with nothing to do,
Cheerfulness and activity – that’s your destiny!

In the forest to pick mushrooms and fish,
We wish you to be friends with nature,
Solving crossword puzzles with my grandchildren,
Plant tomatoes at the dacha in spring!

When you get bored, you’ll come to visit,
Show me a photo, sing a song,
We envy such a life
Take us with you into retirement!

My dear pension is ahead
(To the tune of the song of the crocodile Gena)

The pension of my comrades leads into the distance,
They won't go to work anymore.
Of course, I feel a little sorry for the past,
But my dear pension is ahead.

With pension, with pension, the long journey glows,
And holidays are expected all year round.
Everyone, everyone sees a pension
And it will definitely come to everyone.

If you offended a friend in vain,
Have time to apologize in time,
So that all friends are present at the anniversary,
Quickly pour a glass for everyone.

The wires are running, running, swinging,
The hour of separation comes suddenly,
My life doesn't end here -
There will be days off all year long.

And delivery of pensions is quite simple,
They will bring my beloved home,
Whose turn it is to become a pensioner,
Get in line behind me.

I'm not guilty.

(To the tune of the song “Am I Guilty”)

That I suddenly turned sixty,
What is my work, what I have always been proud of,
Am I getting tired more and more often?

Am I to blame, am I to blame
Am I to blame for wanting:
I wish I could walk all night and then sleep for a long time,
Don't rush anywhere in the morning?

Am I to blame, am I to blame
Is it my fault that I can:
I visit more often on weekdays,

Sunbathe on the seashore.

Blame for everything, blame all around,
And I decided to go on vacation,
Don't envy me, because you are all young,
And it's all ahead of you.
(Tatiana Reth)

Congratulations to the young pensioner

(to the tune of the song “Wonderful Neighbor”)

How can we not have fun?
How can we not be foolish?
Today we will be friends
To be accepted into the “pioneers”,
We congratulate the hero of the day,
Let's take it as an example,
Let him bear the title proudly -
"Young pensioner."

He wasn't afraid of work
Earned your experience
And almost not worn out,
Will you give me this age?!
As is typical for a gentleman,
Lots of English manners
An example of a worthy change,
Young pensioner.

We value modesty on the hero of the day,
And good things
And decency and cheerfulness,
The fighting character of the "lion"
Generosity like a millionaire
And for everyone the protection of the chest,
Be a “Russian pioneer”!
And be loved by us!
(M. Olegov ■ )

Song of a young pensioner

wanting to continue working

(To the tune of Nadezhda Kadysheva’s song “A Stream Flows”)

Years have passed, passed
But I'm not old
Fresh, cheerful, slim
And not tired.
Happy at work
In the circle of colleagues and friends,
I WILL BE ACTIVE
At least a thousand more days.

The wine flows, the stream flows,
Let's drink together for my anniversary.
I'm not sad, but having fun,
I'm not leaving after all – I'm staying!

With pleasure
Always worked
Shared my joy
Otherwise – worries.
Still a hassle
Doesn't decrease
We don't say goodbye –
Life goes on.

The wine flows, the stream flows,
Let's drink together for my anniversary.
I'm not sad, but having fun,
I'm not leaving after all – I'm staying!

My age has crept up
Completely unexpected
But it’s up to me to rest,
Friends, no need
My experience is great
There is something to tell about
My love for work
The stream always flows!

The wine flows, the stream flows,
Let's drink together for my anniversary.
I'm not sad, but having fun,
I'm not leaving after all – I'm staying!

Anniversary song of young pensioners who remain in service

(To the tune of “Song of a Frontline Driver”)

Let us pass more than half,
We will not yield to the youth in knowledge,
Having actually experienced crises of depth,
We are ready for the exploits of others.

Eh, the path is a labor path,
Let such a date come to us,
But it's too early for us to leave,
We still have business in the company.
(We have things to do at the factory.)

The path to success for us, by the way,
It was, friends, not easy and not quick,
We walked days and nights without closing our eyes,
Through the testing corridor.

Maybe separate
For young people
This song is a little strange.

We won't judge them

And we will work -
Our finish line is still far away!

www.zanimatika.narod.ru

Farewell to retirement women funny poems

We believe you and understand
It's sad to see retirement
Allow some tears
But don’t give them free rein

Farewell to retirement is dawn
Out of laughter and joy, children's greetings.
And these are gifts, and these are poems.
And these roads are easy, not easy,
But all with birdsong. These are friends,
And guests, because it’s impossible not to listen to the holiday,
After all, it’s very pleasant for us to celebrate today,
And we will hug you tenfold.
And we will drink wine, and the verse will come true.
And it will become light for us from simple lines.

Let the labor song be sung,
The head is covered with gray hair,
Life goes on without slowing down,
Life is still right in everything.
We wish you health, light,
Rest, happy in everything,
So that, warmed with warmth and joy,
Peace and home were desired for you.

While we work, we all dream of peace,
And no one needs to be convinced:
Work is a necessary, good thing,
But it’s much more pleasant to relax!
Clear lakes are calling to you,
Mushroom protected places,
Hills, ravines, waterfalls, mountains,
Not a pension, but just beauty!
You can spend your time however you like:
Reading books and watching movies.
By acquiring pension status,
You have found freedom at the same time!

Retirement is an honor!
I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart on this day.
New milestone - well-deserved rest!
I wish you all the best and happiness.
Let carefree days await
Plans, hopes and bright meetings.
Children delight with care, love,
The grandchildren can hear laughter and speech nearby!

They came to congratulate you on your retirement,
They brought love and affection,
They gave a modest gift:
Your portraits are such a whim,
Album - family vernissage -
So that we are never forgotten.
With all our hearts we wish you,
So that love is like a balm
It poured into my soul more often!
May your children always honor you.
So that the years don't age,
Everything that was planned came true!
We wish you to be happy,
Keep your cheerfulness
After all, life is still beautiful!
Will take you to troubles to spite everyone
Luck under your wing
And he will give you a clear smile!
Ah, anniversary! Ah, anniversary!
Let's pour some glasses quickly!
We all wish you many years to come,
And to them in matters of great victories!
Let's celebrate the anniversary,
Let's sing more joyfully to Lyudmila -
We are ready to repeat again
About respect and love!

Youth flew by like a song.
The day has come for you to rest.
Don't be sad when you retire
This is not the end of the road yet.
Many years of calm and happy
Today we wish you,
So that you have good dreams,
So that the birds wake you up in the morning.
Let the wrinkles on your face
Let there be fatigue in the eyes at times,
What to do, you like everyone else
Life has not been easy.
No matter how sad it is, everything ends
The years have led us through fate,
And today we say goodbye to you,
But, of course, not forever.
Let it remain a song in your heart
Everything that warmed for so many years
Everything that we did together with you,
Leaving a bright mark in life.
Many years of work
They're crowding behind you,
And therefore high words
Today there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Once upon a time we were young
Now over 50!
You are on the threshold of a new life,
There are no barriers to the future!
All the children have grown up wonderfully
But don’t be in a hurry to lose heart!
Your beloved grandchildren are waiting for you,
Hurry up to give them tenderness!
How does nature greet us?
Sunrise and fiery sunset,
The mountains' caps rise proudly,
Sea waves beckoning into the distance!
Take fashionable clothes
Favorite old suitcase
And go on a vacation tour,
May all your dreams come true there!
Admire the cute features
Your loved ones and relatives,
Give warmth, care,
Who has such a hard time without them!
At exhibitions, cinema, museums
Be there more often, day after day,
And if there is no one to walk with,
Then the “Dating Club” is your friend in everything!
Do some exercise again
Find a hobby for your soul!
Elegant dance courses
Find out how good you are!
What if you grow a flower?
Pleasant, good work for you,
That life in the country is the right way
Cross out everything sad!
Don't be gloomy and angry
Let the years run away!
After all, the main thing is that the heart does not grow old
And the eyes smiled joyfully!

Congratulations on your retirement!
We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts!
And we wish you endless happiness
And conquer new heights!
We wish you spring sunshine
And be close to family and friends,
So that everything in life is harmonious!
Relax, love yourself!

You become happy
Going out into the wild!
With you in a close team
Having worked for so many years,
Gradually getting used to it
To your different sides,
We were convinced: such
You are alone in this world!
Well, happy journey to you!
Good luck and good hour;
And at this threshold
We are always waiting for you with love!

Today we celebrate your retirement.
Sanatoriums and resorts are now waiting for you all year round!
There is no need to rush anywhere, you can sleep longer in the morning,
And it’s high time to improve your health, our advice!
Today we congratulate you as a large team,
Over the years you have become a dear person to us.
We respect and appreciate you and wish you happiness
Share with your beloved husband, like love, in half!

It's done! Has arrived
It's time to legally relax!
Don't think sadly on your day off,
How to greet Mondays!
You can indulge in laziness nicely,
Sit back and get
At the same time, the pension is correct,
And sing along carefree!
We sincerely congratulate you,
May retirement be a long life,
Only happiness fills
Our precious Man!

You weren't lazy to work,
They worked sparingly.
And now it's up to you to decide
Relax - or combine
Pension with work.
Congratulations to you today
And we cordially promise
love and respect you,
And visit often.

A string of good wishes
He is in a hurry to see you today. We've waited!
Retirement is a new page
Your book called life!
As I see you off to retirement today,
We are probably a little jealous.
May you be happy, my dear,
New page! Good luck!

for a man's birthday
for the hero of the day - in unison
for a woman's birthday - a comic dedication to a woman's pensioners

Competitions for pensioners will be interesting
Leading: Dear friends! Just a moment! Sensation! Children from kindergarten have just arrived at our holiday.

Option 1 for the male hero of the day:

Today is a merry holiday,
To everyone's surprise.
Grandfather Vanya Ivanov
Let's celebrate a birthday.

And not just a birthday -
And today is the anniversary.
To hear congratulations -
Get into the circle quickly.

Congratulations on your anniversary
And we wish, dear grandfather,
Good health to you
And attention for a hundred years.