Why does God take the best. Why does God give life and take it away?

“I had one good friend, a young man. He was always welcoming to others. Kind, sympathetic - the soul of the company. He read a lot, showed great hope... He had a job that was more of a calling than just a job, beautiful girl, many friends. In the future, he could very well become a good priest. And then he died. An accident is a sudden death. We couldn't believe his death. They didn't want to believe it. It was painful, offensive and scary. Nothing could be done; it was too late to promise anyone anything for his life. The guy had a funeral service and was buried. It's been about two years now and we're still asking ourselves: why him? Why so early? He could do so much..."
This is a true story. Such tragedies happen in the lives of many of us. And every time we ask: why so early? Why him? Why does God take good people away so early?!
We must remember that the Lord loves and cares for every person: “Are not two small birds sold for an assarium? And not one of them will fall to the ground without the will of your Father; But even the hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matthew 10:29-30). Nothing in this world will happen without His will or permission. Yes, there is evil in the world. But God is not the reason for it. People themselves freely chose earthly lusts, abandoning the fullness of divine love. Evil is allowed in this world, because otherwise, people would have to be shackled and completely immobilized. But they die not only at the hands of villains good people. Death in disasters natural disasters, epidemics and other natural disasters are no easier than death from the knives of bandits. But we cannot blame God for this either - the cause of the cataclysms, again, is the fall of the first people. The moment man renounced God, the whole world changed. Scripture says: “Through the envy of the devil, death entered the world.” (Wis. 2:24)
But why does God allow such terrible evil? Why can't we save our loved ones? We must believe that the Lord is not inactive, but provides for us at every moment of our lives. Especially when we suffer, endure misfortune and sorrow. The “Long Catechism” of St. Philaret (Drozdov) defines the Providence of God as “the unceasing action of the omnipotence, wisdom and goodness of God, by which God preserves the existence and strength of creatures, directs them to good goals, helps every good, and suppresses the evil that arises through removal from good, or corrects and turns to good consequences.”
This is very important words. All the evil that the Lord allows into this world, He “turns to good consequences”! All! Including death.
We are afraid of death because we cannot experimentally verify what lies beyond it. Many miracles and evidence, unfortunately, do not convince us that human life does not end beyond death. His personality remains and is preserved by God in anticipation of the coming day of Resurrection. The dying test of faith is the most serious test at the end of the life of almost every person. Do not be afraid of imaginary oblivion, but continue to believe that you are about to meet the Creator Himself...
We hate death because after it a person disappears from our lives. We can no longer meet him, communicate, do anything together... But in our grief we must not forget the words Holy Scripture: “Godly men admire from the earth, and no one will think that the righteous is admired from evil.” (Isa. 57:1). Sometimes, through the death of the body, the Lord protects a person from sins that kill the eternal soul.
There is an answer to the question “why?” And we must find the courage to accept it. Great old man of the 19th century, Reverend Ambrose Optinsky said: “The Lord is patient. He only ends a person’s life when he sees him ready for the transition to eternity, or when he sees no hope for his correction.” This opinion is confirmed by many other holy ascetics.
At the moment of tragedy, we need to find strength within ourselves and remember why a person comes into this world? What is its purpose? What is its purpose? According to Orthodox faith, the goal of human life is deification. Maximum spiritual approach to the God who created it. The maxim is union with Him. A person is taken to the best moment of his life, when his fate will be the most favorable or the least painful. Sometimes, this happens after some kind of spiritual internal choice, which we may not even be aware of when communicating with it in last days his life.
It is not for us to judge for which of these two reasons our loved one died. It is not given to us to know what was actually hidden in a person’s soul behind his pious (or not so pious) deeds and actions. But there is something we can and must do.
At the moment of loss we acquire one of two states. Either this is inconsolable grief, or this is a state of mental catharsis, described in amazing form by the late bard Alexander Nepomniachtchi, in the song “Roads of Freedom”:

The dead have peace, but the living cannot live without pain,
Without a chamomile field, for a battle of crossed swords
And, of course, we cannot live without love, like earth without salt.
Every death is your death - this is how you become stronger

And purer than the morning dew from the grass that is cut at dawn,
And more transparent than streams from countries that only children dream of,
Nameless soldier, what happened to the last grenade
He no longer waited for help, he simply remembered God...

Death loved one, if we do not lock ourselves inside ourselves, can give us an impetus to the awareness of eternity. If we share with a person at some point his experience of death, then we are freed from many unnecessary matters; everyday quarrels and insults seem to us to be something completely insignificant. Useless time spent on the computer and TV - really empty and stupid. We begin to appreciate life. But this state is given to us for a reason. Our duty is to repay the deceased for what he, even in his death, gave, through our joint love, gave an invaluable lesson in the true meanings and values ​​of life. Therefore, our task is to direct all our strength to prayer for his soul in the first days after his death, and throughout his life, every day, as long as possible, to pray for the salvation of his soul.
We have no right to such important points our lives become emotionally “unstuck” and forget about everything and everyone in our selfish self-pity. Let us pray for our neighbors, and keep in mind the instruction of St. Demetrius of Rostov: “Rejecting and distracting our mind from earthly unreasonable addictions, the Lord, as a true Doctor, healing our soul, often rejects our desires and lusts, often turns them into sorrow and sorrow so that we seek from the Lord God immortal and eternal consolations that will never be taken away from us. For all this - earthly - exists for a small hour, for a short time, and this - heavenly - has to remain forever and ever, having no end.”

Since the beginning of this week, I promised myself to revive my blog, but I never expected that the reason would be so tragic. Last night in the courtyard of a house on the street. Zhukov in Ufa, my husband and I were killed friend of Seryozha Ilyinchik. Since he worked in the structure of the Ministry of Emergency Situations, many Ufa media wrote about this already in the morning. Everyone already knows that there was a fight, the “lady of the heart”, the suspect is already known and is wanted. I want at least a small part of people, my subscribers, friends on social networks, just random users to know what kind of person Seryozha was, and what feelings and thoughts have been tormenting me for more than a day.

Everyone was drawn to him

Sometimes they say that people are different: some suit you psychologically, others don’t. But there are also those that everyone is drawn to. Because they help to open the soul of everyone, without exception: they will listen, understand and give their last to help you. And this happens because such a person’s own soul contains an amazingly rich, almost perfect set of the best human qualities. This is exactly what our Seryozha was like. Sometimes it seemed to me that God himself kissed him at birth, that he was some kind of angel whom the Lord let into our sinful world so that it would become at least a little better. He was kind, honest, noble and courageous. He felt a sincere, genuine desire for justice and helping his neighbor. He was incapable of betraying or even simply seriously offending. Today, looking through my photographs, I found one from a year and a half ago: then Seryozha participated in the parade in honor of City Day at the City Council. We, proud, took a photo with our “parade hero”. And you know: I would be no less proud to be photographed next to him on each of our days. Because you can and should be proud of such a friend.

Would be a great priest

As soon as I met him, got to know him a little better, I almost immediately had the feeling that he would make an excellent priest. A real priest, and not one who doesn’t dare admit his sins during confession. It was enough to just look at Seryozha. And the soul opened itself. Later, from my husband, I learned that while still at school, Seryozha almost found himself in Orthodoxy. He came to the temple when he was 14 years old and began visiting Sunday school and by the time he graduated from school, he was seriously thinking about devoting his life to serving God. He also had a dream of becoming a rescuer: and this, of course, also perfectly reflected all the nobility, all the purity of his then boyish soul.

It's a pity that we didn't press...

Atheists will grin, but any believer will confirm: as soon as a person takes the true path, evil forces they begin to create many obstacles. And often a person cannot withstand their onslaught. I think that this is exactly what happened in the case of Seryozha. Gradually, not immediately, day by day, he began to move more and more away from the church. And as a result, he became completely distant: for the last few years he did not even go to church on holidays. I remember that as soon as the conversation turned to God, his face brightened, but he apparently did not dare to change the situation. And life, a seemingly ordinary life, but without faith, pulled him in. He began to live, speak, and do things a little differently. No, he remained the same pure, kind, sympathetic. He lived an ordinary life social life, but outside of Orthodoxy.

“Someone, Seryozha definitely needs to go to church, it’s written all over his face,” I told my husband.

“You can’t put pressure on a person in such matters,” the husband objected. - He must come to this himself.

Now we both regret only one thing: that we didn’t put pressure then.

This girl was simply unworthy of him!

Seryozha began to gravitate towards the wrong people. And this girl, because of whom he died, was one of them. Their relationship lasted intermittently for about two years, but during this time this person did not even express a desire to get to know us. She, apparently, dictated when and where to go, where and how to meet. She did not appreciate the gold that she got: she played and, probably, simply enjoyed her power, as is often the case with women. He, so noble and pure, apparently truly fell in love with her. But, apparently, he did not know that not every person is worthy of such love and not everyone knows how to love like that.
Yesterday she openly told his parents: “I didn’t have any feelings for him, I told him about it.” But, nevertheless, she accepted gifts from him, did not refuse to meet with him, and kept him “on a leash” all the time, sometimes letting him go, sometimes bringing him closer. Probably just in case.

Neither I nor anyone else can know exactly why God took Seryozha from us so early. The priest in the church today told us that the Lord always takes a person to Himself at the best moment, and that, most likely, if this had not happened, Seryozha’s life could have become even worse. I certainly agree with this. And I believe that it is better for him to get there now, while there are not so many sins, and his soul can be saved. But we still need him so much here...

“Why do old people live and young people die?” Regarding the fact that people die young, many of us have heard or ourselves uttered the following bewilderment: “Why do old people live and young people die?” This is what the holy fathers answer to these words.

Anthony of Optinsky (Letters to various persons): “We cannot understand why a young man dies prematurely, while an old man sometimes becomes bored with life itself and groans from impotence every now and then, but does not die. The Lord God, all-wise, philanthropically and unknown to all of us, arranges and bestows what is useful for us. For example, if someone preserves his days until very old age, he is a benefactor; if he stops someone’s life in youth or infancy, then he does even more good. The Holy Church assures us of the truth of these words in the funeral troparion, saying to the Lord: “Build everything humanely with the depth of wisdom, and give what is useful to everyone, to the One Creator”... For this reason, we must leave or at least moderate our sadness , so that it would not be imputed to us as a complaint against God that He allegedly does not treat us humanely.”

Macarius of Optina (Letters, 3, 277): “each of us must die; but when, God alone knows. And this is God’s predestination of when someone will die. If someone dies, at any age, in youth, or in old age, or in middle age, then this is what God has destined for him; then you need to be calm about this, just reconcile your conscience with repentance and trustworthiness. No matter how long we live, we still have to die; whoever dies young, we must assume that God wills it so.”

Ep. Hermogenes Dobronravin (Consolation in the death of those close to the heart): “What has been said about babies, the same should almost be said about adolescence. If God takes young men to Himself, then, apparently, He takes them at the right time: it is clear that they are already quite ripe for eternity, and the Lord takes them, “let not malice change his mind or flattery deceive his soul” (Wisdom 4:11); and if they are not yet ripe, then they would be even incomparably worse for heaven if they remained on earth longer.”

Dmitry Rostovsky (Word for the commemoration of I.S. Griboedov...): “Scripture explains why the fate of God sometimes determines death young man. “He was put down,” it says, “caught up, so that malice did not change his mind, or deceit deceive his soul” (Wisdom 4: 10-11). We will also add the following to this: he dies in order to no longer see the evil of this world, “lying in evil” (1 John 5:19), so as not to be burdened with the troubles of this troubled time, so as not to be overwhelmed like a ship , sea ​​waves- everyday sorrows." Paisiy Svyatogorets ( Family life, part 6): “...by exploring things more deeply, we will see that the older a person becomes, the more he needs to fight and the more sins he accumulates. Especially the people of this world: the longer they live, the more - with their cares, injustices and the like - they worsen their condition instead of improving it. Therefore, the person whom God takes from this life in childhood or youth gains more than he loses. (Question) Geronda, why does God allow so many young people to die? (Answer) No one has ever signed a contract with God about when to die. God takes each person at the most appropriate moment of his life, takes him in a special way, suitable only for him - so as to save his soul. If God sees that a person will become better, He lets him live. However, seeing that the person will become worse, He takes him away to save him. And others - those who lead a sinful life, but have the disposition to do good, He takes to Himself before they have time to do this good. God does this because He knows that these people would do good if given the opportunity to do so. That is, God still says to them: “Don’t work: the good disposition that you have is enough.” And God takes someone else - very good - to Himself, because flower buds are also needed in Paradise.”
2. The next common bewilderment: “But the young man has not yet seen anything in life and has not experienced pleasure.”

Firstly, this is usually said by people who themselves perceive life as pleasure and do not think about constantly multiplying sins. The fathers explain the following to such people. Basil the Great (Letters, paragraph 292 (300)): “And if (the youth) died before his time, before he enjoyed life, before he came to the measure of age, before he became known to people and left behind himself the succession of the family, then (how I assure myself) this is not an increase in grief, but consolation in the grief that has befallen. This order of God obliges us to give thanksgiving, that He did not leave orphans on earth, that He did not leave his widowed wife, who would either give herself over to prolonged grief, or marry another husband and neglect her former children. And if the life of this youth did not continue in this world, then would anyone be so unreasonable as not to recognize this as the greatest of blessings? For a longer stay here is an opportunity to experience more evils. He has not yet done evil, has not plotted intrigues against his neighbor, has not reached the point of having to join the fellowship of the wicked, has not interfered with all the worst things that happen in courts, has not fallen under the necessity of sin, has known neither lies, nor ingratitude, nor covetousness, nor voluptuousness. , nor carnal passions, which usually arise in self-willed souls; he left us without branding our souls with a single stain, but the pure one moved to a better lot. It was not the earth that hid our beloved from us, but the sky that welcomed him.”

Secondly, it should be noted that, as a rule, our imagination draws pictures of the happy worldly life of our children and this strengthens our incorrect perception of death.

Macarius of Optina (Letters, 5, 89): “...does it matter - she would have died even after living for many years; but how many storms, sorrows and vicissitudes of life would you experience? The mourners did not spare her in this regard, and in their imagination they pictured the prospect happy life; and this very rarely happens.”

Alexey V. Fomin – Non-random “accidents”

or Everything is the will of God.

Which was held in Moscow by Andrey Gnezdilov, a psychotherapist, Doctor of Medical Sciences, honorary doctor of the University of Essex (UK), founder of the first hospice in Russia, inventor of new methods of art therapy and author of numerous books.

Death as a part of life

In everyday life, when we talk with someone we know and he says: “You know, so-and-so died,” the usual reaction to this is the question: how did he die? It is very important how a person dies. Death is important to a person's sense of self. It is not only negative in nature. If we look at life philosophically, we know that there is no life without death, the concept of life can only be assessed from the perspective of death. I once had to communicate with artists and sculptors, and I asked them: “You depict various aspects of a person’s life, you can depict love, friendship, beauty, but how would you depict death?” And no one immediately gave a clear answer. One sculptor who immortalized the siege of Leningrad promised to think about it. And shortly before his death, he answered me like this: “I would depict death in the image of Christ.” I asked: “Is Christ crucified?” - “No, the ascension of Christ.”

One German sculptor depicted a flying angel, the shadow of whose wings was death. When a person fell into this shadow, he fell into the power of death. Another sculptor depicted death in the form of two boys: one boy sits on a stone, with his head on his knees, his whole head directed downwards. In the hands of the second boy, there is a pipe, his head is thrown back, he is all focused on following the tune. And the explanation of this sculpture was this: it is impossible to depict death without accompanying life, and life without death. Death - natural process. Many writers tried to portray life as immortal, but it was a terrible, terrible immortality. What is endless life - endless repetition of earthly experience, cessation of development or endless aging? It is difficult to even imagine the painful state of a person who is immortal.

Death is a reward, a respite; it is abnormal only when it comes suddenly, when a person is still on the rise, full of strength. And older people want to die. Some old women ask: “Now that she’s healed, it’s time to die.” And the patterns of death that we read about in the literature, when death befell the peasants, were normative in nature.

When a villager felt that he could no longer work as before, that he was becoming a burden to his family, he went to the bathhouse, put on clean clothes, lay down under the icon, said goodbye to his neighbors and relatives and died calmly. His death occurred without the pronounced suffering that occurs when a person struggles with death. The peasants knew that life is not a dandelion flower that grew, blossomed and scattered with the blow of the wind. Life has deep meaning. This example of the death of peasants dying after giving themselves permission to die is not a peculiarity of those people; we can find similar examples today. Once a cancer patient came to us. A former military man, he carried himself well and joked: “I went through three wars, pulled death’s mustache, and now its time has come to pull me.” We, of course, supported him, but suddenly one day he could not get out of bed, and he took it completely unambiguously: “That’s it, I’m dying, I can’t get up anymore.” We told him: “Don’t worry, this is a metastasis, people with metastases in the spine live a long time, we will take care of you, you will get used to it.” - “No, no, this is death, I know.”

And, imagine, after a few days he dies, without having any physiological prerequisites for this. He dies because he decided to die. This means that this good will to death or some kind of projection of death occurs in reality. It is necessary to allow life to end naturally, because death is programmed at the moment of human conception. A person acquires a unique experience of death during childbirth, at the moment of birth. When you deal with this problem, you can see how intelligently life is structured. As a person is born, so he dies, easily born - easily dies, hard to be born - hard to die. And the day of a person’s death is also not random, just like the day of birth. Statisticians are the first to raise this problem, discovering that people often have the same date of death and date of birth. Or, when we remember some significant anniversaries of the death of our relatives, it suddenly turns out that the grandmother died and a grandson was born. This transmission across generations and the non-randomness of the day of death and the day of birth is striking.

Clinical death or another life?

Not a single sage has yet understood what death is, what happens during death. Such a stage as clinical death was left practically unattended. A man falls into coma, his breath and heart stop, but unexpectedly for himself and for others, he returns to life and tells amazing stories. Natalya Petrovna Bekhtereva recently died. At one time we often argued, I told cases clinical death that were in my practice, and she said that it was all nonsense, that changes were just happening in the brain, and so on. And one day I gave her an example, which she then began to use and tell herself. I worked for 10 years at the Oncological Institute as a psychotherapist, and one day I was called to see a young woman. During the operation, her heart stopped; it could not be started for a long time, and when she woke up, I was asked to see if her psyche had changed due to the long oxygen starvation of the brain.

I came to the intensive care ward, she was just coming to her senses. I asked: “Can you talk to me?”, “Yes, but I would like to apologize to you, I caused you so much trouble,” “What trouble?”, “Well, of course.” My heart stopped, I experienced such stress, and I saw that it was also a lot of stress for the doctors.” I was surprised: “How could you see this if you were in a state of deep narcotic sleep, and then your heart stopped?” “Doctor, I would tell you much more if you promise not to send me to a psychiatric hospital.” And she said the following: when she fell into a narcotic sleep, she suddenly felt as if a soft blow to her feet made something inside her turn, like a screw being turned out. She had the feeling that her soul had turned outward and emerged into some foggy space.

Looking closer, she saw a group of doctors bending over the body. She thought: what a familiar face this woman has! And then suddenly I remembered that it was herself. Suddenly a voice rang out: “Stop the operation immediately, the heart has stopped, you need to start it.” She thought she had died and remembered with horror that she had not said goodbye to either her mother or her five-year-old daughter. Anxiety for them literally pushed her into the back, she flew out of the operating room and in an instant found herself in her apartment. She saw a rather peaceful scene - a girl playing with dolls, her grandmother, her mother, sewing something. There was a knock on the door and a neighbor, Lidia Stepanovna, came in. She was holding a small polka dot dress in her hands. “Masha,” said the neighbor, “you always tried to be like your mother, so I sewed for you the same dress as your mother.” The girl happily rushed to her neighbor, on the way she touched the tablecloth, an antique cup fell, and a teaspoon fell under the carpet. There is noise, the girl is crying, the grandmother exclaims: “Masha, how awkward you are,” Lidia Stepanovna says that the dishes are beating fortunately - a common situation.

And the girl’s mother, forgetting about herself, came up to her daughter, stroked her on the head and said: “Masha, this is not the worst grief in life.” Mashenka looked at her mother, but not seeing her, she turned away. And suddenly, this woman realized that when she touched the girl’s head, she did not feel this touch. Then she rushed to the mirror, and did not see herself in the mirror. In horror, she remembered that she should be in the hospital, that her heart had stopped. She rushed out of the house and found herself in the operating room. And then I heard a voice: “The heart has started, we are doing an operation, but rather, because there may be a repeated cardiac arrest.” After listening to this woman, I said: “Don’t you want me to come to your house and tell your family that everything is fine, they can see you?” She happily agreed.

I went to the address given to me, my grandmother opened the door, I told how the operation went, and then asked: “Tell me, did your neighbor Lidiya Stepanovna come to you at half past ten?” Do you know her?”, “Didn’t she bring a dress with polka dots?”, “Are you a wizard, doctor?” I continue to ask, and everything came together down to the details, except for one thing - the spoon was not found. Then I say: “Did you look under the carpet?” They lift the carpet and there is a spoon there. This story had a great effect on Bekhtereva. And then she herself experienced a similar incident. On the same day, she lost both her stepson and her husband, both of whom committed suicide. It was terribly stressful for her. And then one day, entering the room, she saw her husband, and he addressed her with some words. She, an excellent psychiatrist, decided that these were hallucinations, returned to another room and asked her relative to see what was in that room. She came up, looked in and recoiled: “Yes, your husband is there!” Then she did what her husband asked, making sure that such cases were not fiction. She told me: “No one knows the brain better than me (Bekhtereva was the director of the Institute of the Human Brain in St. Petersburg).

And I have the feeling that I am standing in front of some huge wall, behind which I hear voices, and I know that there is a wonderful and huge world out there, but I cannot convey to others what I see and hear. Because in order for this to be scientifically valid, everyone must repeat my experience.” Once I was sitting next to a dying patient. I put a music box that was playing a touching melody, then asked: “Turn it off, is it bothering you?” “No, let it play.” Suddenly her breathing stopped, her relatives rushed: “Do something, she’s not breathing.” I rashly gave her an injection of adrenaline, and she came to her senses again, turned to me: “Andrey Vladimirovich, what was that?” - “You know, it was clinical death.” She smiled and said: “No, life!” What is this state that the brain goes into during clinical death? After all, death is death. We register death when we see that breathing has stopped, the heart has stopped, the brain does not work, it cannot perceive information and, moreover, send it out. Does this mean that the brain is only a transmitter, but there is something deeper, more powerful in a person? And here we are faced with the concept of the soul. After all, this concept has almost been supplanted by the concept of the psyche. There is a psyche, but there is no soul.

How would you like to die?

We asked both the healthy and the sick: “How would you like to die?” And people with certain characterological qualities built a model of death in their own way. People with a schizoid character type, such as Don Quixote, characterized their desire rather strangely: “We would like to die in such a way that no one around us would see my body.” Epileptoids considered it unthinkable for themselves to lie quietly and wait for death to come; they had to be able to somehow participate in this process. Cycloids - people like Sancho Panza, would like to die surrounded by their loved ones. Psychasthenics are anxious and suspicious people; they worried about what they would look like when they died. Hysteroids wanted to die at sunrise or sunset, on the seashore, in the mountains. I compared these desires, but I remembered the words of one monk who said this: “I don’t care what will surround me, what the situation will be around me. It’s important to me that I die while praying, thanking God for giving me life and seeing the power and beauty of His creation.”

Heraclitus of Ephesus said: “A man lights a light for himself on the night of death; and he is not dead, having extinguished his eyes, but is alive; but he comes into contact with the dead - while dozing, while awake - he comes into contact with the dormant,” a phrase that you can puzzle over almost your whole life.

Being in contact with the patient, I could agree with him that when he died, he would try to let me know whether there was something behind the coffin or not. And I received this answer more than once. I once made an agreement with one woman, she died, and I soon forgot about our agreement. And then one day, when I was at the dacha, I suddenly woke up when the light came on in the room. I thought that I forgot to turn off the light, but then I saw that the same woman was sitting on the bed opposite me. I was happy, started talking to her, and suddenly I remembered - she died! I thought I was dreaming all this, so I turned away and tried to go to sleep so I could wake up. Some time passed, I raised my head. The light was on again, I looked back in horror - she was still sitting on the bed and looking at me. I want to say something, but I can’t - it’s terrible. I realized what was in front of me dead man. And suddenly she smiled sadly and said: “But this is not a dream.” Why do I give such examples? Because the uncertainty of what awaits us forces us to return to the old principle: “Do no harm.” That is, “don’t rush death” is the most powerful argument against euthanasia. To what extent do we have the right to intervene in the condition that the patient is experiencing? How can we hasten his death when he may be experiencing his greatest life at this moment?

Quality of life and permission to die

What matters is not the number of days we live, but the quality. What does quality of life give? Quality of life gives you the opportunity to be pain-free, the ability to control your consciousness, the opportunity to be surrounded by relatives and family. Why is communication with relatives so important? Because children often repeat the plot of the lives of their parents or relatives. Sometimes it's in the details that are amazing. And this repetition of life is often a repetition of death. The blessing of relatives, the parental blessing of a dying person to children is very important, it can even save them later, protect them from something. Again, returning to the cultural heritage of fairy tales.

Remember the plot: an old father dies, he has three sons. He asks: “After my death, go to my grave for three days.” The older brothers either don’t want to go or are afraid, only the younger one, a fool, goes to the grave, and at the end of the third day the father reveals some secret to him. When a person passes away, he sometimes thinks: “Well, let me die, let me get sick, but let my family be healthy, let the illness end on me, I’ll pay the bills for the whole family.” And so, having set a goal, no matter rationally or affectively, a person receives a meaningful departure from life. Hospice is a home that offers quality life. Not an easy death, but a quality life. This is a place where a person can end his life meaningfully and deeply, accompanied by relatives.

When a person leaves, the air does not just come out of him, like from a rubber ball, he needs to take a leap, he needs strength in order to step into the unknown. A person must allow himself to take this step. And he receives the first permission from relatives, then from medical personnel, from volunteers, from a priest and from himself. And this permission to die from oneself is the most difficult thing.

You know that Christ before suffering and prayer in Garden of Gethsemane asked his students: “Stay with me, don’t sleep.” Three times the disciples promised Him to stay awake, but fell asleep without providing support. So, in a spiritual sense, a hospice is a place where a person can ask: “Stay with me.” And if such a greatest personality - God Incarnate - needed human help, if He said: “I no longer call you slaves. I called you friends,” addressing people, then following this example and saturating the last days of the patient with spiritual content is very important.

-Why do people believe in God? - Valentina from Kharkov asks us a question.

Is it really so necessary for many fellow citizens to hold on to an invisible handrail in order not to completely break down and survive?
After all, God takes the best precisely so that we can suffer tirelessly.

As you already guessed, this is a fragment of a letter that came to my email inbox.

A young girl wants to understand the true meaning of the Christian faith and comprehend the sorrows that are sent from above.
Sometimes you really want to identify the Lord with the mighty Devil, who deprives a grieving mother of her only son.

Dear Valentina Pavlovna.

I re-read your letter several times, afraid of angrily losing my true faith. In many ways, you are really right, because I myself cannot understand why God takes the best, saving on the fact that we uncontrollably rejoice at their bright presence.
Having contacted an expert I knew, I was surprised that he, too, had thought about God’s Grace in redemption more than once.

Apparently, the whole point is that the doctrine of the Christian faith dictates to us God’s commandments and stoicism, which all supporters without exception must go through.
Let's start our conversation with the statement that people believe in God because of complete hopelessness in their flawed existence.
And even if my supporters scold me now, I will still stand my ground.

In fact, if you follow the path people come to God, you can clearly conclude that real faith shows us the deep sorrows through which we must wade.

Those who pretentiously preach that by living in abundance and swimming in luxury, you can find true faith, are blatantly lying.
For the church campaigns of wealthy citizens are nothing more than a show of Christian greatness, which has nothing to do with real spirituality.
According to Orthodox Christians, from birth a person begins to take small steps along the road to God. But this path is thorny, and not everyone can cope with this road. It all depends on the choice that the person himself makes.

If the choice is unsightly and pitiful, then instead of sorrows a person receives coins for which he sells his sinful soul to the Devil.
If he accepts Christian teaching as the meaning of his whole life, then faith in God will certainly be tested for strength by mental anguish.
It is for this reason that God takes the best, since they have already proven their right to the heavenly inheritance.

When loved ones leave, a person begins to suffer, often retreating from the true faith and giving into sinful heresy. This is where a turning point occurs, which is accompanied by spiritual formation or decline.
God strengthens our faith with sad tears, rewarding what we deserve, but without destroying. This is exactly how the church’s supporters explained it to me, in order to at least somehow justify the woeful barrage.

People believe in God, trying to hold on to a thin thread, in the hope of ending the heavy burden in the next life. This greatly helps those who could not achieve complete harmony in this life.
Only it is very painful for me to understand that a grief-stricken mother sometimes experiences monstrous torments, trying to explain her loss by the unknown pattern of God’s Grace.
And my brain just can’t comprehend the fact that the bright oil of true faith flows where the conflagrations of those buried alive are blazing.

From this article you learned about why do people believe in God, which takes away their best and dearest.

And everyone will be rewarded according to their deserts - we are strictly told.
And I really want to hope that the Lord will prove to us his presence not with furious crying, but with justice, which must triumph here already - on Earth.

The question was asked by: Valentina from Kharkov.

The material was prepared by me, Edwin Vostryakovsky.