your priorities in life. Prioritize life, work and relationships

Hello friends! Let's talk about priorities again. Consider the features of the arrangement of life priorities. concept « life priorities» closer to the field of psychology and philosophy than to time management. But they certainly have common ground.

Life priorities- a universal category that reflects the importance for a person of certain areas, or key areas, of his life. Why universal? Because the spheres of life are known and are the same for many people.

The main areas of human life

Family: personal relationships, children, relatives

Job: profession, skills, colleagues, career

Studies: professional education, self-development

Hobby/leisure: hobbies, interests, travel

Health: healthy lifestyle life, health-improving methods and systems

Friends/society: close friends, acquaintances, neighbors, associates

What influences prioritization in life?

Age. For young people, in descending order, the priority areas of life will be studies, careers, friends, family, hobbies, and health. For older people, the sequence is likely to be: health, family, leisure, friends. Some areas of life may disappear from view if they lose their meaning for a person.

Life events. For example, the birth of a child will certainly affect the lifestyle of new parents. For a mother during maternity leave, child care will be a priority, work and career will fade into the background.

Problems in any area of ​​life. For example, while there are no problems, health for most people is not a priority area of ​​life. As soon as health problems appear, this area of ​​\u200b\u200blife becomes the main one.

How much - depends on the nature and duration of the disease. Problems at work will make it a priority for this period of time. It is the same with studying - the time of the session changes the priorities characteristic of the carefree student life “from session to session”.

As you can see, the spheres of life are a mobile, dynamic system in which events can occur that change the degree of importance of a particular sphere for a particular person. It must be understood that such changes occur at a superficial level and are usually temporary.

Thus, after the birth of a child, women with a high priority of the “work / career” sphere quickly return to labor activity and continue their career. The inner "core" of priorities, if properly defined, remains the same for a very long time.

How to prioritize life

The way you prioritize your life is different than the way you prioritize your work. Many people do not think about this issue. For many of them, life is already developing successfully, they are satisfied and happy with everything. And it's great!

But even more people, not knowing what is important for them in life, suffer from lack of fulfillment, misunderstanding, psychological discomfort, experience anxiety and depression. Therefore, if you are thinking about what is important for you in life, it is very important to find the right answer.

Memoir. Main event of the day The simplest and effective way described by Gleb Arkhangelsky in his book "Time Drive: How to manage to live and work." And the method was invented by Vitaly Korolev, a member of the time management community. The method of setting life priorities is as follows.

Select a notebook or notebook in which you will keep a memoir. You can keep a memoir in a diary. For example, in the diary according to the method of Gleb Arkhangelsky, on each page there is a separate column for this. Set aside a few minutes of quiet time each evening.

Take a mental look at the past day: scroll through in your memory its main events, from morning to evening, work and events outside of work. Determine for yourself the main event of the day. Do not specifically look for something global, some kind of achievement or result. The main event of the day may be a trip for a child in kindergarten, contemplation of the sunset, a conversation with a neighbor in the stairwell ...

Anything! How to understand that this event is the main one? It can be both positive and negative. Remembering it, you will definitely react: smile, breathe a sigh of relief, feel how your muscles relax and it becomes easier to breathe - if the event is positive.

The event of the day with a negative connotation will be accompanied by sadness, regret, difficulty breathing. Have you identified the main event of the day? Now write next to the event the area to which this event belongs. At the end of the week, from the main events of the day, select the main event of the week.

At the end of the month, also select the main event of the month from the main events of the previous weeks. In a month you will see a clear picture of your life values ​​- the priority areas of life. The longer you keep a memoir, the more accurate the picture of your life priorities will be, the easier it will be in the future to set the right goals and achieve them.

And most importantly, these values ​​and goals will be yours, native, not imposed from outside by society and its stereotypes. Find out what is truly important to you. Write in the comments what event was the most important for you today.

Of course, everyone knows what “priority” is ... This is a concept that determines importance, primacy. So, try to prioritize the following 5 categories: your work, yourself, your children, your partner (beloved man or woman) and your loved ones (relatives, friends).

For convenience, it is advisable to present these categories in the form of a table and indicate a number from 1 to 5 opposite each criterion in order of priority:

I myself (myself) __________ place
Work ________________ place
Children (child) _______ place
Husband (Wife) ____________ place
Parents, friends ______ place

If today you do not have children, this does not mean that you do not give them some place in your life. The same is true if you are single, because hypothetically you still imagine what place it will take in your life. close person when it appears. You must answer sincerely and honestly.

Now let's see what it actually looks like.

At the first place: Regardless of gender, you yourself should always be (both men and women). If a person is in order, then the other person next to him will be fine. Otherwise, it is the psychology of the victim to put someone above himself. As a rule, it manifests itself as “dependence” in relationships and such a state is characteristic more women.

In second place: A woman should have a beloved man or husband. As soon as someone else gets between a woman and a man, get ready for the fact that problems may immediately appear. If you, dear ladies, really want intimacy and warm relations, then there should not be anyone between you and a man, not even children! If your husband puts between you, for example, his mother, then it is necessary to correctly and patiently, with love, explain to him that this is not constructive for your relationship.

A man should have a job in second place. Yes, just like that and nothing else. A woman or children should not be more important for a man than work. And if a woman lacks his attention, then you need to take care of yourself and make your life more interesting, respectively, she will immediately become interesting to her man. In the nature of a man, the desire to achieve and obtain results. And in fact, he tries for his family, so that the family does not need anything and is proud of him. Being proud of a man is very important!

On the third place: Of course, a man has a beloved woman. Not his mother, not his children from his first marriage. If this place is occupied by someone else, then it is necessary to gently and patiently explain that there can be only one adult next to the man. Otherwise, harmonious relations will not work.

The woman has children in third place. If a woman has the right priorities and children are not a priority value compared to a man, then children in such a harmonious atmosphere will be easy and comfortable.

In fourth place: And here the man's children occupy an honorable fourth place. And children from a previous marriage, too. Very often, men do not divide children at all into their own and not their own. They are all his.

The woman is in fourth place relatives. This is, first of all, the parents and parents of the husband, too. An important duty of a woman is to build good and respectful relations with her husband's parents, as well as, if possible, smooth out all conflicts.

In fifth place: The man has friends and family. If friends become paramount, look for problems and problems in your relationship. Because the duty of a woman in relation to her man is to become his closest friend.

A woman has a job in fifth place. Ideally, a woman should go to work to rest, since her biggest workload and main job is in the family. And if there is a man next to her who takes care of her, then the work most likely takes on the form of a hobby. If the work is necessary to replenish the family budget, then the woman does not work well in the family and does not inspire her man enough to achieve so that he can take good care of her.

Ask yourself, what do you really want in life? You can even write down your desires on a piece of paper, then analyze them. Desires may be different, but they have one thing in common - having achieved your goals, you will feel truly happy.

It is happiness that is the main goal of any person - even if he himself does not realize this. Therefore, the prioritization in life must necessarily take this moment into account. If what you are doing now is not bringing you closer to happiness, something needs to change in your life.

The mentioned point is very important. The road to happiness is hard and there is not much time. Therefore, every step should lead to your goal. Everything that takes you away from the chosen path, moves you away from the goal, must be discarded. Or at least relegated to the background.

Other people's interests

For many people, the most important priorities in their lives are the happiness, health and well-being of loved ones. At a minimum, many will say that they have everything the way it is. However, this is a mistake. Yes, people should take care of their parents, brothers and sisters, children. They must be ready, if necessary, to give their lives for them. At the same time, you need to understand that even the people closest to you cannot, have no right to deprive you of your dream - whatever it may be.

A person can live for others - if this is his way, his choice. If it makes him happy. But if, because of a sense of duty, responsibility, a person deprives himself of his dream, this is already wrong. People come into this world to be happy. To deprive yourself of happiness means to live life in vain.

That is why do not let anyone, including people close to you, manipulate you. You have your goals, your path. Help loved ones, take care of them. But don't let them deprive you of your dreams.

Prioritization

Some people have a list of priorities with many items. This is wrong - you can not embrace the immensity. If you've made such a list, cross off all but the top three items. Which items to leave is up to you. But there shouldn't be more than three. It is on these three priority goals that you focus all your attention.

Why only three points and not more? Because these are the realities - a person cannot effectively work on more than three tasks at the same time. If there are more of them, work efficiency drops sharply, as a result, it is not possible to achieve a good result anywhere. So something has to be sacrificed. Learn to discard the superfluous for the sake of the main thing.

Change of priorities

It is important to note that priorities may change over time. This is normal - a person grows up, his values ​​\u200b\u200bare changing. At the same time, a change of priorities, if it occurs, must be of an evolutionary nature and correspond to the spiritual growth of a person. And it is very bad when a person just rushes through life, not knowing what he really wants. In this case, you need to go back to the very beginning and ask yourself: what do I need to be happy?

Never forget happiness. You can acquire a huge fortune, and at the same time be a deeply unhappy person. Money provides opportunities, but cannot replace happiness. Therefore, consider them as a tool, nothing more. Do not chase prestige, career, fashion - look for your own path. The one that will make you feel elated full of energy and energy. If you are happy to meet every new day, if you clearly see the goal and go towards it, no matter what, then you have set your priorities correctly and are on the right track.

Hello dear friends. Are your plans ruined due to lack of time? Sometimes it happens that life turns into an endless "Groundhog Day". All forces are spent on solving everyday issues, and the rest of the hands do not reach. A wave of depression rolls in, tension accumulates ... What to do? Get out of the vicious circle. How? Now consider specific examples of life priorities and principles of a person. Why exactly in such a "coupling"? To plan properly, you need to understand what to focus on. Let's get started.

Setting priorities

Dwight David Eisenhower is the 34th President of the United States. To cope with his duties, he had to invent his own technique. The President drew a square and divided it into 4 cells. There were two scales along the edges. They determined how important and urgent the matter was. If you want to use the Eisenhower matrix as a prioritization tool, you should get to know each "quarter" in more detail.

1. Important and urgent

What needs to be done right now. The tasks in the cell can be divided into 2 main groups: those related to health and safety and emergencies that create obstacles.

To make it clearer, I will give a few examples. In a serious illness, self-care should come to the fore. The same goes for extreme fatigue. Sometimes rest or entertainment may be necessary. Repairing equipment is another activity worth squaring.

Why is this the main cell? First, let's remember what priority is. Literally translated, it means "first". At the top of the queue, we put those tasks that are urgent. They need to be dealt with here and now. What to do if things are also important? Carry them forward, bypassing the rest.

2. Important but not urgent

Key square. Before getting into the main cell, things usually get stuck here for a long time. For example, indifference to one's own health often leads to a serious illness. The person is worried about the symptoms, but puts off going to the hospital until the last minute. If you do not take yourself to exhaustion, it will not come to exhaustion. You can also insure against equipment breakdown.

It is this part that teaches how to prioritize correctly. Take care in time that the condition does not become critical. Don't run tasks! There is enough time for them, but do not relax.

Examples of classes from the second group:

• regular visit to the gym
• building relationships with clients, family, acquaintances, etc.
• planning a working project, working on it.

3. Urgent but not important

Not everything always goes according to our plan. New priorities can literally appear out of nowhere. This is fine. Here we will enter those tasks that are urgent, but are not key. For example, unexpected guests.

Often cases from the third and first cells are confused. This is the main problem of determining life priorities. The arguments sound quite logical: since this issue needs to be resolved quickly, it means that it is important. Distinguish between importance and urgency!

The boss asked to call an ordinary client? This needs to be taken care of soon. However, the task is not so vital. It is desirable to forward such things to others. For example, "transfer" the call to one of the subordinates. If you want to find a new performer, consider who this action is more important to than you. Who would write it down in the first square?

4. Not important and not urgent

This is where the entertainment is. They should be given attention, but in moderation. Entertainment events keep you in good shape and give you a rest, but they distract you.

Ideally, the first cell should be empty. Why? Setting priorities correctly means being able to keep everything under control. As soon as something hit the main square, consider that you failed. Sometimes a combination of external circumstances leads to "accidents", but these are rare cases. In addition, most of these problems can be protected in advance.

Goals depend on principles. Someone throws all his strength into career growth, someone tries to succeed in relationships. I suggest that you familiarize yourself with the settings that help you grow in general.

Life principles

The authors of the methods rarely pay due attention to the function of worldview in human life. A lot depends on temperament, character and outlook on what is happening. Different people will give the same task a different priority. And they will be right in their own way! Everyone has their own opinion. For some, communication with parents is an important part of life, but, alas, someone forgets about their roots. Some attend church once a week, for others, the issue of religion goes into the background.

What are the principles of life? I'll tell you about the most important ones. They affect all spheres: from work to family.

1. Kindness. Do you think that there is too much evil and injustice around? Mohandas Gandhi said: "You must change in yourself what you want to see in a changed world." However, it is better to watch the movie "Pay It Forward", which clearly shows the importance of mercy.

2. There are many of us. Do you feel like everything is going down the drain? Take a look around. Surely there is someone next to you who will support. There is no shame in turning to others for help when you cannot cope on your own. We love to close in the "shell". This also applies to everyday matters.

3. Courage. Of course, do not forget about reasonableness. No need to go against the grain just because of the rebellious nature. Just don't be afraid to take on new things, try to "break through", even if others fail. They probably just don't try. Make your own table of 50 goals in life and strive for them. Keep records in a diary of desires, follow the progress. I have already talked about how to set goals for yourself correctly.

4. Live in the present. The past is experience, the future is distant prospects that should be worked on. It so happens that previous events drive us into a vicious circle. Moral injuries make you stop and run in the wheel. It won't lead to anything. One can hope for the future, but one cannot breathe it, forget about reality. Otherwise, the long-awaited prospects will simply collapse.

5. Look for connections. Constantly analyze yourself and others. In I mentioned that the mistakes of others save a lot of time and energy. Try to understand not only the world, but also yourself.

6. Learn. It's never too late to learn something or learn a new skill. The oldest student in the world, Alan Stewart, graduated at 97! There is no need to prematurely give up on yourself. Age is just numbers in the passport, not a sentence.

7. Love. It's as natural as breathing. Without love for the family, children and partner, life turns into existence. Don't be afraid to trust. Unfortunately, sometimes our feelings betray, but it is worth taking this as a life lesson. Let me remind you that you can not live in the past!

Such a system is a purely individual thing. You may have different settings. The main thing is that they are. What should be the life priorities of a person and how to put them on the shelves? I hope you are ready to answer this question. And what is your most main principle? See you soon!