If your friend is annoying. What to do if your girlfriend is annoying

It is impossible to live without girlfriends - if tomorrow they disappear, as if by magic, who will listen to us at any time of the day or night, sympathize and be happy for us, give us advice and go shopping with us? But what if your best friend starts to annoy you? Why does this happen and what can be done about it?

Tell me what you're missing?

To understand why your girlfriends annoy you, you need to answer a simple question: what exactly do you dislike about them? Psychologists have long noticed: in relation to other people, we, as a rule, get annoyed for a reason, but when we “try on” their qualities on ourselves: if we don’t have them, we envy, although we never admit it to ourselves, if we do, we get angry that we are not alone - wonderful and unique. Therefore, when you feel negative towards your girlfriend, analyze what exactly her quality causes rejection in you: perhaps you do not have enough of it or, on the contrary, you have it in abundance. As a result, it will be much easier for you to communicate, and you will learn a lot about yourself.

One gate play

The reason for irritation can also be the fact that during meetings, and just while talking on the phone or Skype, your girlfriend only talks about herself. You also want to insert at least a word, but most often you simply do not have time to do it, but if you manage to draw attention to your problems or, conversely, joys, this state does not last long - during the first pause, the interlocutor seizes the initiative and returns to the circumstances of your life.

Strange as it may sound, but the root of the problem in this scenario of relations with a girlfriend is most likely in your attitude towards yourself. It's hard to say for sure, but you probably grew up in a family with authoritarian parents who instilled in you the need to put the interests of others first and only then - secondly, or even thirdly - to think about your own. Only by solving your internal problems, it will be possible to build an equal relationship with another person.

Vampire saga

Another option is also possible, according to which the person with whom you are so uncomfortable to communicate is simply energetic vampire. Such people live off the energy that is pumped out of others, and the result of communication with them can be not only apathy, fatigue and loss of strength, which psychologists usually write about in relevant articles, but also irritation, since it does not add any optimism to us. , no good mood, and, therefore, also takes away the energy that we need in order to fully live and do everything. If you cannot stop communicating with such a friend, learn how to put up protection, however, in this case there is a high chance that she will leave you herself - most likely, without your energy, you will simply become uninteresting to her.

Friendship that has not stood the test of time

Another reason why girlfriends can start to annoy is that the relationship is too long. Of course, very often it is the childhood friendship that we manage to carry through our lives, because it is time-tested and is the strongest. But it happens differently: once you went to one kindergarten and sat at the same desk at school, but over the years your paths diverged - you went to college, pored over textbooks and notebooks day and night, made a career, while a childhood friend got married, gave birth to children, firmly settled at home in the status of a housewife . It is not surprising that her stories about childhood illnesses and the one hundred and first recipe for borscht infuriate you - you consider your friend a klutz, wasting her life in vain. By the way, it is quite possible that you evoke similar feelings in her - she considers you an arrogant blue stocking and slowly hates you, but considers it impossible to break off relations - after all, you have been friends for almost half your life.

"Let's just stay friends?"

And, finally, the most important thing to say about a situation with girlfriends who are at least annoying, and at most, enrage you. Remember that you don’t owe anything to anyone, and although friendship is a round-the-clock concept, it is exclusively voluntary, not forced. Therefore, if for some reason they do not suit you, you are not obliged to communicate with them and have every right to end such a relationship. We already have enough negative communication - these are hysterical bosses, and quarrelsome neighbors, and boors in the store or public transport. Against this background, we can fully count on the fact that close people, which include friends, will not piss us off, but, on the contrary, will morally support us.

What to do with friends who have lost our trust? The easiest thing to do is break up. If people who loved each other, after parting, can remain friends, then former friends may well remain just acquaintances.

Alexandra Voloshina

Thank you for your help in preparing the material. psychologist Marina Eliseeva.

Don't be surprised - it happens in life! A friend with whom she connected so much, who understood you as a native person, at some point begins to annoy - communication deteriorates, omissions and misunderstandings begin ...

What to do if a friend is annoying, and is it worth trying to establish sincerity and understanding in friendly relations- the site site will tell!

Why is my girlfriend annoying?

In principle, the “annoying girlfriend” problem can arise in two cases:

1. A certain annoying person imposes his friendship on you, and you are unable to interrupt this acquaintance.
2. A friend with whom you have been friends for a long time begins to annoy at a certain stage.

Let's consider both situations.

Let's start with the first - someone who annoys you is trying to make friends with you. In general, if you are really sure that this person is unpleasant and uninteresting to you, the solution is obvious - to refuse friendship.

But in practice ... Sometimes you have to rush between decency and real desires for quite a long time: for example, go by invitation new girlfriend somewhere with her, not being able to come up with a plausible excuse, etc. Why such loyalty? Do you value your own time and nerves?

In general, from annoying annoying "girlfriends"!

The second situation - the girlfriend with whom you once intimately communicated begins to annoy. Causes:

• You have clearly left the circle of "general" biography. For example, they graduated from a university where they studied together, changed their place or field of work (if they were friends at work), grew up and went to different schools your children are the same age, or you simply went far away ... Well, it happens. It is difficult to artificially maintain a friendship in which there is no unifying moment, and not every friendship can go through "fire and water"! In general, friendship outside of circumstances is very rare, and you don’t have to wait for it in every case!
• A friend is going through some kind of personal moment or crisis that worsens your communication. For example, she broke up with a guy - whines and complains about her failed personal life. Or vice versa - she successfully married and only boasts of her luck, not paying attention to your problems. One of two things - either the “acute moment” will pass and everything will work out, or you really are not on the way with an eternal whiner or a lover of show-offs and boasting!
• You yourself have changed, “outgrown” your friend. You have new interests and priorities, you develop, and she stands still. No wonder a friend like that can annoy you!

What to do with an annoying friendship - break or reanimate?

So, there is a friend who seeks to communicate with you, but it burdens and annoys you ... What to do with such a friendship: you can always break it, but perhaps there are ways to make friendships more pleasant and not annoying anyone?

The site "Beautiful and Successful" offers several "tests" that should be arranged for this friendship. If all of them (or at least most of them) are successfully completed - probably not all is lost!

• Exclude from communication those topics that annoy you. For example, a friend who has recently given birth reduces all conversations to a baby and his baby problems, but this is completely irrelevant to you and you listen only out of politeness. Let your friend know that you don’t understand children, you can’t give sensible advice, while showing boredom and indifference with your whole appearance if the topic nevertheless pops up. You can directly ask to talk about something else and raise questions that interest you. If, after some “sessions” of such communication, the “sore topic” is still actively raised, i.e. a person at point blank range does not see that she annoys you - congratulations, most likely, you are being used as “free ears”. Perhaps a friend has already “got” everyone around with this topic, and only your courtesy allows her to ride her favorite “horse”. Draw conclusions - do you need such friendship, where your interests are simply ignored? Although such a scenario is also possible: a girlfriend will understand your indifferent attitude to her pressing issues, and she will limit your communication in order to look for grateful free ears somewhere else!
• Start demanding concessions in relation to yourself. This is in the event that a friend annoys with constant "friendly" requests, without giving anything in return. So don't be modest - offer to go where you want, not her; ask to sit in the evening with your child; borrow a dress for a party, etc. If the requests are met adequately, then perhaps the friendship can be restored. It is possible that it was you who brought to the “one-way movement” in your friendship, suppressing your own initiative! But if a friend begins to resent the equality that has come or prefers to reduce communication, then she probably just used you, alas ...

• Stop making requests that weigh you down. Does your girlfriend annoy you by always putting things on you that you do only out of a sense of duty? Enough. Do what you really sincerely want to do. After all, most likely, you didn’t get into any “moral debts” before her! Learn to discard the motives “What will she think…”, “How to refuse her, her tongue does not turn…”, etc.
• Stop friendship for a while, disappear. Look, firstly, how much a friend needs you: does she call, write, what does she say and in what cases does she remember you - in order to sincerely take an interest in your affairs, or simply when there is nothing to do and no one to talk to?

But it also happens that all the above "tests" your friendship passes, but ... a friend is still annoying! It happens. Perhaps your paths with this person have diverged - if something once united you, now it is difficult for you to find common ground, because both you and she could change!

By the way, about how our site has already written!

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Hello, my name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup coach. And today we will talk with you about what to do if a girlfriend infuriates.

Such situations are not uncommon, but most often it happens when you are already long time in relationships and especially if you live together. For those times when you've just started dating and you're already having problems, the advice is simple. Most likely, you managed to get a little bored with each other. Attachment is not too strong yet, and therefore you are simply not ready to tolerate each other's small mistakes and shortcomings. You need to back off a bit, spend some time apart. And in general, increase the intervals between dates in order to have time to get bored.

Why is the girl angry?

In fact, in relationships, we often piss each other off. So, it probably infuriates her that you snore, and you that she sleeps in pajamas and socks, for example. Some young ladies like to eat from a guy's plate at a party and in a cafe. And when you ask why she doesn’t order the same for herself, the answer is stupidly simple - she’s on a diet! She may be annoyed by your aggressive driving style, or the fact that you always forget about the anniversary of your first kiss, do not wash the dishes after you, leave your things. I'm all about the fact that you should not forget that you, too, infuriate her from time to time. You just have to close your eyes sometimes.

I will not be mistaken if I list a few points that are sure to infuriate my male readers. For example, you don’t like it when she gets offended and pouts, her long letters and SMS annoy you, and when, instead of looking at the map, she calls you and uses you as a navigator. She drags you to the cinema to movies about love or cartoons in general, affectionately calls you some kind of little animal. You hate her when she gets into your phone and even more so when she wants to save some scary kitten from a puddle.

But, perhaps, the thing that irritates the guys most in a relationship is that you have to listen and talk for a long time. We can generally be silent for hours and go about our business. She doesn’t like it, and therefore, when you don’t talk to her for a long time, she begins to suspect something is wrong and “get into your head.” And even the very phrase “we need to talk” immediately infuriates you, and therefore the advice to the ladies who may be reading my articles is never start a conversation with this, it’s better without prefaces at all if the topic is serious.

I often heard this: “my girlfriend infuriates me, because she cleans my room, and then I can’t find anything.” It seems strange to them, but in fact, even with the apparent mess, men have everything in order - you really know where the screwdriver or trouser belt is. But if she puts everything in the “right” places, you have to constantly ask her where everything is.

But it infuriates her that you often spend time with your friends. Of course, you must defend your interests, otherwise, over time, you can turn into a henpecked. But even here it is important not to go too far, otherwise it will begin to act accordingly, and you will spend less and less time together. For some relationship, this may be beneficial, but definitely not if you live together.

So why is your girlfriend annoying? Why didn't you notice these shortcomings even on the first date, when it seemed to you that she was the most beautiful girl in the world? And now she has long and spiky nails, she pulls the blanket over herself in her sleep and generally watches stupid women's TV shows ...

In fact, it's all about endorphins. Lovers always embellish their partners, idealize them. Moreover, we really want to appear better in the eyes of our loved ones, to show them only the good side. And this applies not only to girls who preen for hours before a date, but also to men. But when the relationship develops, when he and she have achieved their goal, the most interesting begins. You are no longer there, and therefore, it seems that you can relax. And she, in turn, no longer idealizes you. After all, an endorphin explosion, falling in love is not eternal.

And both of you open your eyes. And therefore, if you are a selfish person by nature, and are not used to putting up with the shortcomings of another person who spends a lot of time next to you, then this will inevitably start to enrage you. The same applies to her. And if your attachment to each other and dependence on each other is not yet strong enough, then this can lead to a complete break in relations. They often say about such people: “after the wedding, their relationship was ruined by everyday life.”
However, in fact, they were ruined by their own illusions, inspired by too strong an endorphin explosion. My advice to young people - do not tie up with the first girl you fell in love with. Your inexperience and excessive enthusiasm can destroy everything.

Another case when a girlfriend infuriates. You probably noticed for yourself, and for others too, that in the company of strangers or unfamiliar people we try to keep a face, show ourselves with the best side. I won't delve into psychology to tell you why. But, above all, because you cannot predict the reaction of a stranger, including to your own anger.

But when you come home, you can break loose on a person close to you. Moreover, it will even seem to you that it is she who infuriates you, but you yourself brought the negative emotional background from the outside.

The situation described above just kills all romance. And even your betrayal does not threaten you with such consequences. Remember: criticism and irritation reduce the level of endorphins in the blood, the hormones of pleasure and happiness. And here is the praise good words generally increase. So draw your own conclusions.

So you should not be surprised at what you need from her:

• Delight;
• care;
• pleasant pastime;
• sex.

By the way, the more criticism, the less sex. And the less sex, the more criticism - and from both sides. Sometimes it is very difficult not to fall into such vicious circle. But it is with the help of sex that many “irresolvable” disagreements are often resolved.

What to do if your girlfriend pisses you off?

1. If you noticed that you began to get annoyed often, then you need to think about why. Maybe it's just time for you to go on vacation or you need to spend some time alone? ..
2. If a friend is annoying and you are ready to break loose, try to remember the moments when you were very good together.
3. Find time for general entertainment and general good experiences - even if it is a trite viewing interesting movie together. After all, we are often annoyed precisely because, due to being very busy, we communicate only in bed and in order to discuss some common problems. And over time, your girlfriend really begins to associate with you with problems.
4. Use social media to brag to friends about spending time together.
5. Having sex is not a panacea. It is also important for her and for you to often touch each other, kiss, walk by the hand, as well as often say pleasant words to each other.
6. Don't forget about personal space. You should have time and a place for yourself, so that she does not flash around. But she also has a right to it.

And the last. You probably already know what infuriates her the most about you - try not to do this. Choose the most unpleasant thing for you in her and carefully hint to her that you are not satisfied with this. But don't waste your time on trifles.

If you want to know even more secrets to seduce girls

My girlfriend annoys me. and got the best answer

Answer from Divergent[guru]
Baby, remember once and for all one simple truth: your BEST friend in relation to you has always been, is and will be a SNAKE. This is how you always treat your best friends. This will save you in life from many troubles and sorrows.

Answer from Party WILL OF THE PEOPLE[guru]
And you don't scratch it.

Answer from Valentina Fryshko[guru]
Lord, how much is heaped up, not to your liking, tell her directly and stop talking, what kind of children's snot

Answer from Alice[active]
Why don't you talk to her about it?

Answer from eve.dot[guru]
there is no need to quarrel, but communication should be limited and gradually she will find a friend for herself and leave you alone)

Answer from Michael[guru]
Pretend to be a hose. When you can't find a way out, it helps. Ignore her... insolently, the result will not keep you waiting!

Answer from Yovetlana Van-Du_lin[guru]
You are just completely different. And you really shouldn't be friends. Do not bother yourself with what to do? Yes, it’s nothing now, holidays, reduce communication to a minimum and that’s it.

Answer from sergey xxxxxxxxxx[guru]
I have 3 daughters, two over 20 and one 9 so I explained to everyone that they are individuals and you need to respect yourself and everyone has the right to their own opinion and does as they see fit so respect yourself and love yourself if you want to be treated well

Answer from *Flower*[guru]
Are you so dependent on her? Will she tower over you for the rest of her life? No need to behave like an amoeba, you need to be able to resist any negativity! Get yourself another girlfriend, even if not from your school, but your relationship must be terminated, even if you talk to her, this person will not understand you, she has chosen the role of leader! Change your social circle, do not invite home anymore, tell your relatives to come and will be visiting you for some time!

Answer from Yoel Tatiana[guru]
Based on everything written above, you can say for sure that she doesn’t consider you as a friend with such people, you need to completely limit communication, you don’t need to swear, just smartly move away from her. If now she chooses a guy for you at the age of 14, then what will she choose in two years

Answer from Iya astakhova[guru]
And what? Read all the answers!! For me, so awesome girlfriend)))))))))))))) Toli will still be (((((

Answer from cher[guru]
This is the most addictive girlfriend. Love her, kiss her, respect her, honor her.
Don’t even dare to quarrel, believe me you won’t find such a thing!! ! with such an individual you will not get bored.
But what to do - study tactically, predict, look for negativity, build your own profit ... believe me, you won’t find such material during the day with fire.

Answer from Michael A. Trumpe[guru]
"Citizen investigator, don't talk to me about female friendship! I've been selling hats in Stoleshnikov Lane for 20 years. Not once has a lady come to buy a hat without a friend. And not once, mind you, not once did her friend give her the right advice!"

Answer from berry raspberry[active]
don’t call her to visit, don’t go out with her, talk so dryly, at school hello for now, how are you and that’s it))) she keeps you sorry as for a fool whom she can say anything, otherwise you won’t say anything in response to her just conveniently with you, don’t share anything with her, don’t reveal your secrets, because tomorrow anything can happen and your so-called girlfriend will become worst enemy who knows everything about you) and don’t be afraid of anyone, no classmates there, well, figs with them that they won’t communicate, and you tell them one sheep doesn’t communicate now and the whole herd obeys her)) good luck))

Answer from Ksenia[guru]
and you give it to her to read .... she will understand everything)))))))))

Answer from Alex A[guru]
The girl is quite flawed (I'm talking about your girlfriend). She wants to elevate herself in her own eyes at the expense of others.
in this case, humiliating you.
It is logical to start ignoring your girlfriend.
simply and silently.
it won't hurt your dignity in any way.
The main thing is not to succumb to provocation. and not start talking to her again
you need to stay away from such people.
believe

Suppose you are dating new girl. Everything about you is amazing: sex is like in bold erotic fantasies, she loves the same thing as you, but at the same time sincerely, and does not pretend. She's awesome and dating her is like having a bro who's so hot you can fuck him.

But there is a significant drawback - her girlfriends. All her friends are annoying, they drive you crazy, and you really hate it when you have to hang out with them. They're competing for your girlfriend's attention, which is kind of stupid, but things can escalate and result in you having to leave.

Your girlfriend keeps asking to find her annoying friend a boyfriend. Every time this annoying person comes to visit you, you have to listen to the details of her personal life. And you don't want that. Your girlfriend's friends can be attractive as long as they don't open their mouths. Among the annoying friends there is a boaster who will constantly chatter about her great deeds and all sorts of art cafes that she visited this week. When you try to put in a word or two, she misses them. Most likely because she likes to hear only her own voice. Some of these annoying people can text your crush around the clock, and she will have to answer all the messages.

Will you tell her that you don't like her friends?

This stunning, sexy girl who loves football and video games has one major flaw - annoying friends you hate. What can you do about it? Would you say that you truly hate them? Are you saying you don't want her annoying friends to ruin the great moments of your life? Does it piss you off that a call from her fat girlfriend ruined your 2001: A Space Odyssey screening together? So, are you going to tell her that her girlfriends piss you off? No, you won't. You're afraid to hurt her. Talk to the girl about it. Tell her that it pisses you off that her girlfriends call her every 15 minutes. Offer her a deal: you don't answer calls during your walks together, she doesn't do the same.

How to deal with her friends

First, you will never get rid of her friends. It's not fair to force a person to choose between love and friendship. But it's a great way to lose your girlfriend. Her friends are much more likely to outlive you, don't forget that! You can leave, but friends will stay for a long time, such is life. There is a great way to reconcile with her friends: try to have a good time. Make fun of them, come up with cool nicknames for them. For example, Katya is a chronic complainer. Or “Olya-we-now-will-have-excellent-sex-envy. Deep down, you can come up with more offensive nicknames for them, but only if they unrealistically enrage you. Lera - Clumsy Tits, or Lizka - Sausage Head. Poke her friends, you can call your girlfriend and joke in her ear about another stupidity, which, as always, Lizka froze - Sausage Head (you're outraged in vain, bro, this is a real person!).

If it ever occurs to you to say that you hate her friends, you yourself will feel how a huge wall of misunderstanding has formed between you, invisible to the eye of a mere mortal. You can say that her friends are funny, that they are funny, that they annoy you in places, but never say that they annoy you, and you are ready to strangle them with your own hands. Every girl wants a guy to love every part of her, and friends are also part of her, and it’s not necessary to say that female friendship does not exist, and these friends are just girls with whom your chosen one chirps in a cafe. But don't pretend that you're crazy about her friends, that you just adore them. Insincerity is clearly visible! When you are disgustingly kind to the one you sincerely despise, only a blind man will not notice the grimace of hatred on your face! Show that they are funny to you, you will pass for a cynical person, and this is fashionable. Pretend that these persons drive you a little crazy and amuse you terribly.