How to understand what a person is ignoring. Is it true that ignoring is the best revenge?
People are emotional by nature. Nature has endowed a woman bright colors feelings, and the man - muted. Everyone is capable of feeling, but they know how to express their feelings in different ways. It is common for a man to go into his cave, close himself there from prying eyes and think. There can be many reasons for this: from troubles at work to conflicts at home. A woman doesn’t need a cave, she needs communication, a scandal, if you like.
If a man feels bad, then he should be left alone, if a woman feels bad, she should never be left alone. This results in silence and a man ignoring a woman, and she, in turn, demands conversation. And she perceives silence solely as indifference and a decrease in sympathy for her on the part of her partner.
All this is true only if the man likes the woman. Otherwise, ignoring it should be considered honesty and integrity. A real man not an animal that takes everything that is given into its “paws”. Contrary to popular belief that men are polygamous creatures, there are exceptions who are capable of being devoted and loving one woman. Usually such men are well-mannered, polite and responsive. They know how to love, and that’s why they respect a woman. They love their one and only, but they know when to give a hand to another, throw a jacket over their shoulders and say a compliment. In this case, you misinterpreted his habits and standard signs of attention, and ignoring him is justified.
He probably saw the interest on your part, and decided to completely disown you, so as not to give you false hope.
Doesn't he like you? Step aside, don't waste yourself.
So, if your man begins to ignore, then, firstly, you should not panic, and secondly, you should understand the reasons for what happened.
Possible reasons:
1) Not confident in myself.
Perhaps the man is too timid, has low self-esteem and simply does not believe in his victory, i.e. into reciprocal feelings. If you think that you live with a man, and have already told him a hundred times about your reciprocal feelings, this will strengthen his self-esteem, then this approach is not justified. A man may be married to you, but be timid, not to mention the relationship that is just beginning to develop. It is common for a woman to blurt out unpleasant things in the heat of passion, purely out of emotion. A man takes such words at face value. Ignoring in this case acts as a shield, this is a defensive reaction of the partner. Representatives of the stronger sex are afraid of being rejected, so they prefer to remain silent and do nothing. Often men turn on “ignore” based on past bad experiences.
If, by his nature, he cannot think of anything better than “pretending to be dead,” then think about whether you can live with an eternal deserter.
2) Likes to wear a crown.
Often a man forgets that climbing into the windows of the women he loves is their prerogative. They begin to expect heroism from women. Let her, they say, be the first to start making peace or approaching on the dance floor. The classic said: “Than smaller woman we love, the more she likes us.” The classic said, let the women sort it out. The man turns on the cold in his heart and waits for his “lioness” to bring prey to his feet, while he lies imposingly and ignores. This tactic is used to elevate oneself in the eyes of the woman he likes (or has long been dearly loved).
3) Waiting for proof of your feelings.
Perhaps the man is not sure of reciprocal feelings and is waiting for you to start proving it and give him special sign. In this case, the man does not expect obvious feats on your part; a smile, a look and kind words are enough for him.
4) Interest did not develop into love.
You can really like a woman, but not be the one. Sympathy is not love, so a man may look closely and not be reassuring. Without fish and cancer, fish. But you don’t live in a lake!
5) A man does not share the views and behavior of a woman.
It is likely that the main reason for the alienation is your behavior or actions. He doesn't share your views, and it's likely that he's just offended. Perhaps you disrespected his friends or didn't answer his phone calls. Or maybe he doesn't like your new haircut or short skirt. It could be anything.
What should a woman do if a man ignores her?
Tip 1
Don't doubt yourself
You are amazing, worthy of being loved and deserve the best. If ignoring is significant, for example, if your partner does not love you, but is simply friendly, then let him go and let new meetings into your life. One guy doesn’t like your hairstyle, that’s okay, another guy will really like it.
Don't change yourself to be a man. When your soulmate appears in your life, be sure that he will love both your loud laugh and blue locks of hair.
Tip 2
Man is the conqueror, not you
There was a princess in the tower guarded by dragons! Not a prince! And fighting is his destiny, and yours is to sit and wait until he defeats the dragon. Let him turn on the future prince and turn off “Ivanushka the Fool.”
Decided to ignore you? Let be! You sit and wait for him to start conquering you again. And if he doesn’t decide, it means he’s not yours. Don't call first, don't write a ton of SMS and don't get noticed more often than the traffic police on the highway. Of course, if you are sure not only of his feelings, but also that you seriously offended him the day before, then go ahead to him, and with an apology.
Tip 3
Turn on the philosopher in you
Everything that is not done is for the better. Yours will not escape you anywhere. And everything else is in the same spirit. Think positively, draw pictures of yourself happy and know for sure that people do not come into life by chance, just some for the experience, and some forever.
Be understanding about temporary cooling; perhaps a man needs to be alone for a little bit in order to “stick” to you more closely later. Give him time to sit in his cave. He’ll come out and start conquering you, you’ll see.
Tip 4
Learn from your experience
Any situation is given to a person for positive conclusions. Even the worst situations provide useful lessons. Review the past, find your mistakes and understand how to avoid them in the future. If you offended a man, then have the courage to admit it and don’t do this in the future.
Tip 5
It's not about you
It often happens that a man does not ignore you, but is simply confused, in problems and in minor troubles. For example, he broke the bumper of his favorite car, so he ignores not only you, but the whole world, except for the broken iron horse. Don't take everything personally. Ignoring may be caused by a bad mood, heavy sleep, or simply heartburn or problems with male power. Try to find out what the reason is and only then be offended by his coldness.
Tip 6
Don't squeeze a man
It is women who need a ton of tenderness, words, signs of attention, a hundred thousand kisses and hugs. The stronger sex needs respect and understanding, and not an enveloping candy of emotions. Leave this aside - “music-pussy”, “tsemochki”, “bunny”. And repeated pleas to say out loud how beautiful, best, sexy, charming you are, etc.
Tip 7
Go to the zone of another love
Has the man decided to play the silent game? Go with your girlfriends to the cinema, theater or shopping. Don’t get hung up on a man, you should have your own hobby and your own relaxation area. It happens that a woman is so close to a man that he just wants to move away a little. And not because he fell out of love, but because he needs personal space.
Annoying and unpleasant people are found in every person's life. In psychology, such individuals are called “toxic”, since they are capable of “poisoning” the lives of those around them with eternal nagging, obsessive attention, complaints and ridiculous jokes. One of the most effective strategies for stopping interaction with such individuals is complete ignorance. The article will talk in detail about how to ignore a person who annoys you.
Before you understand why a person annoys you, you need to understand yourself. Indeed, in most cases, we hate in other people exactly what we do not like in ourselves. So, before you start ignoring someone, try to use their negative traits to your advantage, as an indicator of personal weaknesses. Don't like your work colleague laughing loudly? Watch your behavior when you are among friends; maybe your laughter also causes inconvenience to someone? If this is the case, then try to correct the situation and react less emotionally to jokes.
Set psychological boundaries
If you are faced with the question of how not to notice an annoying person, then first of all clearly define the psychological boundaries between him and yourself. This exercise developed by psychologists to determine how much one personality influences another. In this case, the influence of a “toxic” individual on your life should be zero. Having established the psychological boundaries of an individual, it is easier to track those who seek to cross them and weed them out by ignoring them. In addition, she will not experience “pangs of conscience.”
Limit access paths
If a person is already annoying you long time, try to limit all contacts with him. Don't pick up the phone when he calls, don't answer him in social networks, avoid his company. At the same time, you shouldn’t be afraid to seem rude, since a sharp breakup is preferable to a long agony, and your mental health is more important than someone else’s need to cry into their vest.
Mental prostration
Psychologists often encounter questions from married couples about how to live in the same house with a person who annoys you? This is a difficult situation, but there are several ways out of it. The first, and most radical, is a divorce or the option of moving in with friends or parents for a while until the feelings subside. The second, more peaceful one is mental ignoring of everything a person says. You need to learn to “disconnect” from any words and actions of a “toxic” individual, while scrolling through some song or bright picture in your head. This will save your nerves and quickly teach the “irritant” to behave correctly.
Ignoring a person – emotional abuse and more
In psychology, there is a phenomenon that we call “ignoring a person.” How can psychological neglect manifest itself in communication between people? Can completely ignoring a person be called emotional abuse?
Ignoring is a multifaceted phenomenon. Therefore, the answers to these questions will be ambiguous.
Reasons for ignoring a person
Let's consider the reasons for ignoring a person from the point of view of system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Groups of innate desires and mental properties are called vectors; there are eight of them in total. Each vector gives its owner the ability to perform certain types of activities, his own type of thinking and value system.
Such a psychological technique as ignoring a person is used differently by people with different vectors. Ignoring can have different reasons and motivations. Sometimes it's resentment or just disinterest. They can also ignore a person in order to teach them a lesson, to mock them, or simply to torture them. Let's consider each case.
It is necessary to clarify that ignoring can also be a lack of interest in people in principle. This happens to the owner of the sound vector, because subconsciously he feels himself “above everyone else.” In addition, the sound artist is so immersed in himself that he simply does not see those around him. He is busy thinking about the meaning of life. Such a person is considered arrogant and strange in the team. But in this case, the sound specialist’s complete ignoring of a person is not a psychological technique, but a feature of worldview.
Ignoring a person: benefit - benefit
Some will ignore a person who they simply will never need again for anything. He is used material, and you can walk past him as if he were empty space. Such people are found among owners of the skin vector. For them, the main thing is “benefit-benefit” - therefore there is no need to waste emotions, even in the form of a simple “hello”.
A skin person, as Yuri Burlan’s system-vector psychology shows, can economize on feelings. He may ignore requests from his family for emotional intimacy and warmth in the relationship. The child, in his opinion, should not be pampered, and his wife should already know that he loves her. At the same time, he receives pleasure from the very fact of limitation and refusal. “No” and “cannot” are keywords skinner
The skinner can also punish by ignoring someone for what he believes has been an offense committed. After all, it is necessary to somehow comply with the law in a single unit of society: a family or a work team. Ignoring a person, in this case, is one of the ways of forcing obedience.
Psychological neglect - I want to hurt
Some people with the anal vector are capable of completely ignoring a person. Those with the anal vector are naturally endowed with phenomenal memory. According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, they are focused on information about the past in order to fully transfer to subsequent generations the experience and knowledge accumulated by humanity.
But when a person begins to live in the past, he slows down the present. And in the past - grievances and insults. And he will remember them for a long time. The reasons are different - the slippers were in the wrong place, lunch was not prepared on time, did not receive enough attention. He will find a million reasons to be offended.
Unfortunately, in order to ignore a person, some of these people become silent, thus demonstrating their resentment. Although the offender is actually not an offender at all, because he did not want to offend. Such stories most often occur in families between husband and wife or parents and children.
It is important with what intention a person with an anal vector decided to ignore another person. If he wants to hurt, cause suffering, then this can be called emotional abuse or a type of sadism. In this way, he seeks to take revenge on his offender, to punish him. Most often, he punishes close people in this way.
Have you experienced (sometimes or often?) the feeling that you are invisible to others? It's like people don't see you, don't hear you, and don't take your opinion into account. It’s as if you are not there, although in fact you are here, nearby, you just have to stretch out your hand.
You feel offended, angry, upset, but you can’t do anything. Have you tried to find the reason for this attitude on the part of others?
This may seem strange, but the whole point is that you are invisible to yourself. In more detail, here are 4 reasons why many people don’t seem to notice you:
1. You ignore yourself, your emotions and your desires.
How often do you ignore your emotions? Often? This is not a good idea, because our emotions help us determine whether we are taking care of ourselves or, conversely, betraying the trust of our soul and our body.
When you tell yourself that emotions, feelings and desires are not important, you seem to project this thought to others. And they, in turn, also think that your emotions/feelings/desires are not important.
When you feel anxiety, pain, anger, loneliness, grief, what do you do? Are you ignoring all these feelings? Do you judge yourself for feeling them? Or are you trying to drown everything out with alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, medications? Or maybe you find relief from emotions in shopping, which is exhausting physical exercise, sex?
By avoiding your feelings in this way, you do not give yourself relief, only fatigue and loneliness. When you give up yourself like this, you become invisible to others. If you don't accept yourself with everything you experience, why do you think others should?
2. Don't support or stand up for yourself.
Sometimes in unfair situations you can stand up for others, defend their rights, but when it comes to you, you seem to freeze in place and cannot say a word in your defense. You may justify this by saying that you don’t want to start a conflict or that the situation is trivial and your opponent may even be right.
But by reacting this way, you are not giving others a reason to respect you. If you do not respect your opinion and do not defend your position, then those around you will also not care about you.
Is it worth it to endure and silently endure insults if you can sharply and categorically make it clear that you will not allow your interlocutor to cross a certain line again? If you give a competent and firm rebuff in full, other people will no longer waste your nerves with impunity.
3. Maintain one-sided relationships.
If you are communicating with someone, who usually speaks? You or your interlocutor? Are you given the opportunity to speak, or are you constantly interrupted, trying to convey your point of view, and you calmly allow it?
Out of politeness? Out of compassion and naive altruism?
If you continue to allow others to use you as a vest to cry into, they won't see the other side of you. It wouldn't even occur to them to look! After all, it’s so convenient when you have someone to “whine”... It’s unlikely that they care about your inner feelings.
And you? When will they finally start to worry you?
4. You try to please everyone.
Perhaps you were raised to care about the feelings and comfort of others, even to the detriment of yourself. And you carefully pushed your own thirst for comfort deep down, just so as not to upset those around you. What did this lead to? To the point that people ignore your needs and desires? To the point that you are now constantly uncomfortable with others, and you don’t know how to change it?
When you focus on making others feel good, you forget about yourself. But hey, who's going to take care of you then? Did you hope that those around you? But, as you can see, they don’t care about that.
There is nothing wrong with being polite and attentive to the feelings of others, as long as other people's interests do not infringe on yours.
It's time to stop being invisible to others! Stop ignoring your feelings and your comfort for the sake of other people's interests.
Love yourself, start appreciating and respecting yourself. And soon you will notice how the attitude of all the people around you has changed towards you.
Ignoring a person and/or situation is one of the most common ways psychological protection or punishment. Despite its apparent simplicity, there is little that is as effective as this simple technique. The danger is that the technique of ignoring rarely leads to a final solution to certain problems, since, in fact, it is a way to evade any action. We’ll talk more about the psychology of ignoring today.
Ignoring as a defenseWith the help of ignoring, as a technique of defensive reaction to the emergence of a particular problem, a person, as it were, creates an alternative reality in which some block of information is missing. The so-called ignoring matrix helps to find it.
Ignoring Matrix
The neglect matrix is a special model that considers neglect in terms of type and level. These two concepts are similar and to some extent interchangeable.
1. Types of ignoring:
- ignoring the fact of what is happening. In this case, we refuse to see this or that situation that creates a certain problem;
- ignoring the fact of the problem. This type of ignorance involves accepting what is happening but refusing to acknowledge that reality poses any problem;
- ignoring opportunities. You see the situation, recognize the problem, but ignore the existence of possibilities for solving it.
2. Ignore level:
- ignoring the availability of opportunities;
- ignoring the significance of opportunities, in other words, doubting their (opportunities’) effectiveness;
- ignoring the option to change capabilities;
- Ignoring personal abilities associated with self-doubt and fear of inability to take advantage of opportunities.
The ignoring matrix provides all combinations of types and levels of ignoring, adding up to a diagram of three columns (types) and four rows (levels). The method of using the ignoring matrix allows you to find that part of the information that is ignored, preventing the solution of a certain problem. To do this, you need to start checking each cell, starting from the upper left corner of the matrix, moving diagonally down.
It is worth mentioning such a phenomenon as rational ignoring, when our apathetic behavior is due to the fact that we do not see any personal benefit from participating in a certain action. The most common example is reluctance to go to elections, participate in demonstrations, etc. In this case, the psychology of ignoring is also considered as a defense, in this case, passivity protects us from expending energy.
Ignoring as a method of punishment
Very often we use the method of ignoring, trying to somehow influence others. The psychology of ignoring a person is that we consciously do not pay attention to the person we want to punish or hurt.
In addition, the reason for ignoring, paradoxically, may be an attempt to attract attention to oneself. So, for example, the reason a woman ignores a man may be her desire to show the man her resentment. The problem is that such a method, as a rule, is met with aggression and misunderstanding in response. Men 
usually they don’t know how to react to being ignored and respond in kind. It turns out vicious circle inaction and growing conflict.
At the same time, girls often take advantage of being ignored when they want to attract the attention of the man they like. In this case, they rely on the notorious hunting instinct.
One way or another, ignoring is a passive action, by resorting to which a person consciously renounces his own power and responsibility. Remember that most often this method does not live up to expectations.
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