What is the difference between personal and business relationships? The boss will appreciate: how classic style differs from business style

How classic style differs from business style is a funny but common question. ELLE decided to understand the theory and move on to practice, selecting fashionable catwalk looks from summer collections that even the strictest boss would approve.

Christopher Kane; Kenzo; Mugler; Tod's

Christopher Kane; Hugo Boss; Altuzarra; Nina Ricci; Yigal Azrouel

With the classic style, everything is simple - these are things in which it is appropriate to appear at a business meeting, in the theater, and at a lecture in front of students of a prestigious university. Actually, classic is something timeless that is not associated with seasonal trends; this is the fundamental difference between the classic style and the business one. Discreet silhouettes, the same shades and textures, nothing flashy or provocative. But, as a rule, a good cut and expensive fabrics: classic things are created (and bought) for more than one year. Fitted two-piece suits, sheath dresses, pencil skirts, pumps, snow-white blouses - that same elegant uniform for all times.

The differences between the classic style and the business style are easy to notice. If the classic style is, first of all, styles and combinations that have been “tested” for decades, then the business style is outfits that are appropriate for work. Even following the rules of the strictest dress code - a skirt below the knee, a neckline no deeper than the level of the collarbones, no open shoulders or open shoes and stockings even on the hottest days - it still changes from season to season, adapting to trends.

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Hugo Boss; Altuzarra; Hugo Boss

Dior; Jason Wu; Nina Ricci

Chanel; Dior; Christopher Kane; Gabriele Colangelo; Jason Wu

Cedric Charlier; Gabriele Colangelo; Mary Katrantzou; Roksanda

Celine; Jonathan Saunders; Alexander Wang

Lanvin; Tod's; Alexander Wang

Hermes; Jason Wu; Sportmax; Temperley London

Office wear can traditionally be found even in the catwalk (not to mention commercial!) collections of the main trend setters - Chanel, Dior, Celine, Prada and Stella McCartney. More classic items can be found at Boss: new creative director At home, Jason Wu is one of those who perfectly understands the difference between classic and business style and knows how to combine the heritage of the brand with the trends of the season. And of course, business style American designers are always in high esteem, and they have long proclaimed the working girl as their main muse. And Max Mara not so long ago launched an entire line of Tailored Suit - two-piece business suits, coats and skirts with jackets, incorporating all the best from tailoring traditions men's suits according to individual standards.

You, he says, call me whatever you want, just don’t push me into the oven. What's this? - people have such a chronic disease: to call things and phenomena by other names? Meanwhile, everyone knows: whatever you call it, so it will be

On the urgent need to understand formal, personal, intimate relationships

You, he says, call me whatever you want, just don’t push me into the oven. What's this? - people have such a chronic disease: to call things and phenomena by other names? Meanwhile, everyone knows: whatever you call it, so it will be.

In particular, what relationships you consider for yourself, calling them anyhow, that’s what they will be, through your own efforts.

For example, it has now become fashionable and common to imagine intimate relationships, like sexual relations, or, in the old-fashioned way, like sexual relations.

Meanwhile, not only in dictionaries, but also in life, Russian people have always understood intimate relationships as “deeply personal, sincere - intimate relationships.”

Unlike just personal relationships, sexual relations, friendly, comradely relations.

Or, for example: formal relationships for many are “when people approach you.” And they are unaware that formal relationships can and do exist, both in the family, and in the relationships of lovers, and so on.

That is, formal, personal, intimate relationships, although almost everyone has them, are often not understood at all as such.

For example, a visitor to a prostitute is not in an intimate relationship with her, and not in a personal one, but purely in a formal relationship in the field of sex and trade.

When, in search of a betrothed bride, they write: Intimacy, do not offer intimate relationships, then, in fact, they mean: I don’t need intimate, close relationships, but give me something simpler.

In general, by saying the wrong words, we not only distort the essence of phenomena and things, and, literally, distort the language, BUT, most importantly, we cloud the truth and ruin our lives.

In particular, not understanding what formal, personal and intimate relationships are, we directly ruin our lives.

For these relationships, being in them, in essence, are our life. How?

Well, one more example, for final clarity: a husband and wife can long time live in a purely formal relationship, while believing that they also have a personal and intimate relationship.

And they will wonder: Why ours? family life unhappy - and there is no understanding, and there is no intimacy, and there is no sex.

Formal, personal, intimate relationships, what is their essence?

There are a great many types of relationships, and their content cannot, as they say, be taken into account, because, as many people as there are, there are as many unique relationships.

Moreover, multiplied by several dozen, because people have many relationships, with different people and in their different guises.

So, first of all, depending on the hypostasis in which a person appears and is in a relationship, the form of the relationship will and will exist.

I would highlight the following forms of relationships between people: formal relationships, personal relationships and intimate relationships. Why?

Because these forms contain all types of relationships between people: from love to hostility, from business to friendship, from sexual to parental, and so on.

Is it so? Let's get a look.
Formal relations - status relations

Each person is an individual - he has on himself the mask - the guise that he voluntarily and forcibly put on himself in society. Voluntarily – on the part of one’s “I”, and forcibly – on the part of society.

But that’s not all in a person’s personal incarnations: each person also has a whole set of masks that she puts on herself, depending on where, with whom, when and how she enters into a relationship.

These are the so-called status masks - statuses. Here, look, one person during the day, for example, a man:

At home - husband for wife;
- Father - for children;
- Boss and subordinate at work;
- Colleague with colleagues;
- A man with “men”;
- A man with women;
- Lover with mistress;
- A boor or a cultured person on the street.

Tell me, what is common in all these relationships? That's right, all of them can be and, as a rule, mostly are, precisely status-based - a person enters into relationships, according to his status, with these people, in these circumstances.

That is: with his wife his status is husband, with children - father, at work - boss, and so on.

And, please note: all this, while one’s personality remains unchanged - the personality does not change and does not manifest itself, but only its statuses change.

What is the most important thing in terms of status? Wear and do not take off the mask prescribed by society in this case.

Should you and your wife be a husband? So behave with her like a husband, and not like, say, a lover, or an “uncle” from the street. Should you be a father? So behave according to this status. Etc.

In other words, all SUCH relationships, if they are carried out in accordance with the assumed and given status prescribed by society, are formalized - formal relationships.

Formal relationships also because the personality itself, if manifested in them, is very insignificant, nothing more than to distinguish this person from others who are in the same status.

Like: Oh, this is my husband – he’s always slow. Or: This is my subordinate - he is drunk all the time.

That is, the main thing in these relationships is not the attitude of the individual and to the individual, but the attitude of a person of status, as to a status one: Be like that! Otherwise, we will begin to treat you differently - our relationship with you will change.

More often, of course, for the worse, because status is, a priori, a restrictive order on the part of society - a social template for a person and an individual:

Be like that! We have no time and no need to have a personal relationship with you - here, for you, is a ready-made form of relationship with you and the form of your relationship with us.

Conclusion: formal relations are those relations that have an established form and an established basic content of these relations.

And the personality traits in them are ignored as unnecessary: ​​formal unified relationships are suitable for many individuals if they have status in such relationships.

For example, almost all men and all women can have the status of husband and wife. The employee's status is known to all people. And so on.

Personal relationships - relationships between individuals and individuals

Of course, formal relationships are vital not only for society, as levers for regulating the behavior of its members, but also for the person himself.

Although few people like formal relationships as they level the personality, many individuals find their charm in formal relationships.

Because formal relationships remove personal responsibility for the relationship from a person: I do everything as it should be in my status, and the rest is outside the area of ​​my responsibility, activity and competence.

A completely different situation arises when a person, even while in a formal relationship, begins or tries to start a personal relationship.

If in a situation of formal relationships a person behaves as prescribed by his status, then in personal and intimate relationships, he is guided by the “call of the heart” - manifesting himself as an individual.

What is the mechanism of relations here?

Personality, in its essence, is the “I” of a person, actualized, realized in relationships, both with himself and with people.

In other words, a personality is not an abstract person, but a more specific concept: a person endowed with his own properties, manifested in his qualities.

Our next concept will no longer be an abstraction, but a concrete one: the personality of Ivanov, the personality of neighbor Lyuda, and so on. Unless, of course, we start classifying individuals according to some criteria. For example, the personality of a woman, the personality of a man, the personality of a child.

This means that personal relationships are relationships built on a person’s manifestation of his personal qualities.

Here the following collisions arise or may arise:

Features of personal relationships

1. While in a formal relationship, a person tries to establish a personal relationship.

For example, finding themselves neighbors, someone wants to develop this formal relationship into a personal relationship.

Here are the following options: if the desire to have a personal relationship is mutual, then they can move from formal to personal relationships. And if only one side of the relationship wants to have this, then a personal relationship will not work.

At the same time, both one and the second person will remain in mutual negativity in this relationship: one person because they wanted to impose a personal relationship on her, and the second because this personal relationship was rejected.

2. Personal relationships are a very slippery slope.

For personality, a priori, is a complex complex of properties and their manifestations - qualities.

In the relationship between individuals, the qualities of individuals are intertwined into a complex tangle of likes and dislikes - acceptance of personality qualities or rejection, to one degree or another, and in one or another quantity.

Depending on what outweighs in a relationship, negativity or positivity, personal relationships will either take place, will be conflicting, or will not take place at all.

3. The most important thing in personal relationships, if they exist or are just being established, is the balance of mutual desires and interests, as conscious desires.

That is, if formal relationships are established for a person, and often simply imposed, as a necessity, then personal relationships are built purely on the interests and desires of the individual himself.

I treat it the way I want, or I don’t want to have anything in common with this person, I don’t want a relationship with these people - this is the principle of personal relationships.

4. Personal relationships can change to formal relationships and vice versa.

For example, a wife can be a wife formally, fulfilling only the status of a wife. But, she can change this relationship into a personal, personal relationship with her husband, say, by loving him or hating him “with every fiber.”

But, by the way, in the relationship between husband and wife, the opposite often happens: having started with a personal relationship, the husband and wife sometimes maintain the relationship, but transfer it to the status of a formal relationship.

Intimate relationships are the closest personal relationships

Each person, taught by the bitter and sad experience of relationships with people, is consciously or subconsciously afraid to open up - to show themselves completely, even in personal relationships.

This manifests itself in the fact that the person “does not say something”, “obscures”, hides, in relationships with other people.

This “something”, as a rule, turns out to be the true interests of the individual or, even, the true properties of the individual.

This is not always a deliberate deception; it often happens that a person, for example, trying to show himself better than he is, acts out, portraying himself as someone who he really is not.

That is, in other words, taking into account this circumstance, in personal relationships there is a degree of trust between the individual and the individual.

If this degree of trust is very high, then the relationship turns into an intimate relationship - into a particularly trusting relationship.

And, since men do not trust men and women do not particularly trust women, as sexual and, often, social competitors, intimate relationships arise between men and women.

And, since the highest degree of trust is to entrust your body to another person, which happens during sex, the concept of “Sexual relationships” has been firmly attached to intimate relationships.

Even in modern dictionaries, intimate relationships, intimacy, are interpreted as synonyms for sexual relationships and sex.

Although, from all points of view, it is more correct to distinguish borscht from flies. If only because sex is not only a physical matter, but also, to a greater extent, a spiritual matter - emotional and sensual: falling in love, passions, and all that stuff.

And, moreover, sex, most often, happens in the form of formal relationships. Fulfillment of “marital duty”, prostituted sex, friendly, one-time, casual sex and all forms of non-traditional sex, as a rule, are status sex.

A man and a woman here have different statuses of sexual partners: from a macho, passionate woman, to, excuse me, a whore, an “honest slut” and a husband, a womanizer, and so on.

In fact, by entering into a formal relationship, but trusting his body to his partner during sex, a person is not even entering into a personal relationship, let alone an intimate relationship, to face the truth.

Rhetorical question: Isn’t that why we people have so many problems in sex and with sex: from sexual crimes to misunderstandings between sexual partners?

BUT, there are, and not so rare, intimate relationships, when a man and a woman are close to the degree of kinship, not only in bed, but also in personal relationships - their hearts and souls - minds and feelings, are open to each other.

When, in general, between them is what many, including me, consider to be love. Because love is definitely an intimate relationship, no matter how you look at love.

What, where and with whom relationships should you have?

Well, you understand what I’m going to say now?
This is your relationship - this is your life - this is your choice: what, with whom, how, when and how long to have a relationship.

But why, in fact, I wrote this article: your choice is not always ONLY your choice, and it is not always the right one.

And this means that from this, from mistakes in relationships, not only does your life become bad, but also people suffer at the other end of your relationship.

I am sure that if a person understands his relationships, knows how to distinguish formal relationships from personal relationships, and intimate relationships are not confused with formal and personal relationships, then his life will be much simpler and better.

Subordination is an integral part of any healthy relationship between people. However, within different groups, communication can follow different patterns. The two most striking of them determine the nature of personal and business relations. But to understand the differences between business and personal relationships, you first need to understand a little about the nature of interpersonal relationships as such.

Interpersonal relationships

The definition of “interpersonal” reflects the idea of ​​​​the mutual connection of several individuals in the context of a relationship. That is, relationships between people cannot have one or another character if one person completely ignores the other.

Most often, interpersonal connections arise on the basis common views, values ​​and/or activities. In their structure, they represent a system of mutual orientations of several people relative to each other.

Relationships are not a passive process - they necessarily require mutual efforts on the part of partners, and this reveals the similarities between personal and business relationships. Such communication is aimed at optimizing and harmonizing specific feelings, intentions and forms of expression in everyday behavior. It is these efforts that determine the nature of the matrix on which relationships are built in practice.

Business and personal relationships

What is the difference between business and personal relationships between people? Business refers to a relationship based on common corporate interests and ethical standards. Such relationships can take place between employees of the same level, and in the context of the hierarchical ladder of the corporation. The purpose of a business relationship is the result of a common work effort without reference to the value of the communication process itself.

Personal relationships are built differently. As a rule, they arise between close people, and their motivation is within, and not outside, the communication process itself. In other words, in the process of personal relationships, people are more interested in each other than as a result of their connection.

The role of discipline in personal and business relationships

To better understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you need to pay attention to such a factor as discipline. The presence of strict disciplinary norms in behavior between two people or within a group of people determines the business nature of their communication. But if, against the background of exclusively business ties, informal relationships arise in parallel, and corporate discipline fades into the background, then the relationship gradually acquires not a partnership, but a personal character.

However, defining discipline as the answer to the question of how business and personal relationships differ, one cannot help but say that to a large extent it is also inherent in personal relationships, which are also not without subordination, for example, between parents and children. The difference is that the discipline of personal relationships is established naturally and does not violate the internal comfort of individuals, while business discipline takes the form of a documented official format.

Current

Miscellaneous
Miscellaneous

How are business and personal relationships different?

business relationships are relationships related to professional activity, which do not particularly affect your emotional sphere. Personal relationships are relationships that concern your life not related to work-personal life, these are relationships in which you let a person into your personal space, share the good and bad that happens in life.

The atmosphere, behavior, intimacy is excluded, some manners are required, there is no cohabitation, with the exception of rented housing with different rooms.

Business relationships are based on a common cause, often on a specific job, on achieving a common goal, on creating something.

Personal relationships are somehow tied to emotions, which can be both positive and negative.

When people have business relationships, it is inappropriate to say or think that we like/dislike the personality characteristics of another person, business people will not analyze each other's characters and argue about what an ideal person should be, they will strive to find consensus, avoid sharp edges, working for the benefit of the idea first and foremost.

Business relationships require careful communication between a man and a woman. They may work together and see each other every day, or they may just be acquaintances, none of them even thinks about the possibility of a close relationship between them. Business relationships with a person can be with other people, each of whom a person can contact on business. Personal relationships mean that a man and a woman love each other, that is, personal relationships involve emotions. If among friends (guy and girl) one is still experiencing emotions towards the interlocutor, then this person is claiming a personal relationship. Personal relationships can be called friendship between a guy and a girl with mutual sympathy. What you can tell your interlocutor depends on the level of trust in him (her), and on which interlocutor the particular information is intended for.

Business relationships involve people conducting common activities. They are governed by the rules of law, ethics of business relations, goals and general interests of the type of activity. Personal relationships are relationships between people who are not connected by a common job. This is fellowship, camaraderie, friendship, love. If for business relationships the main thing is the benefit that these relationships can bring to work, then for personal relationships the main thing is mutual understanding and mutual respect. Personal relationships are built on the basis of emerging likes and dislikes, but for business relationships, the manifestation of these feelings is unacceptable. An example of a business relationship is the relationship between a student and a teacher, and an example of a personal relationship is the relationship between students at school.

Subordination is an integral part of any healthy relationship between people. However, within different groups, communication can follow different patterns. The two most striking of them determine the nature of personal and business relationships. But to understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you first need to understand a little about the nature of them.

Interpersonal relationships

The definition of “interpersonal” reflects the idea of ​​​​the mutual connection of several individuals in the context of a relationship. That is, relationships between people cannot have one or another character if one person completely ignores the other.

Most often, interpersonal connections arise on the basis of common views, values ​​and/or activities. In their structure, they represent a system of mutual orientations of several people relative to each other.

Relationships are not a passive process - they necessarily require mutual efforts on the part of partners, and this reveals the similarities between personal and business relationships. Such communication is aimed at optimizing and harmonizing specific feelings, intentions and forms of expression in everyday behavior. It is these efforts that determine the nature of the matrix on which relationships are built in practice.

Business and personal relationships

What is the difference between business and personal relationships between people? By business is meant a relationship determined by common corporate interests and Such relationships can take place between employees of the same level, and in the context of the hierarchical ladder of the corporation. The purpose of a business relationship is the result of a common work effort without reference to the value of the communication process itself.

Personal relationships are built differently. As a rule, they arise between close people, and their motivation is within, and not outside, the communication process itself. In other words, in the process of personal relationships, people are more interested in each other than as a result of their connection.

The role of discipline in personal and business relationships

To better understand the difference between business and personal relationships, you need to pay attention to such a factor as discipline. The presence of strict disciplinary norms in behavior between two people or within a group of people determines the business nature of their communication. But if, against the backdrop of purely business ties, parallel relationships arise and corporate discipline fades into the background, then the relationship gradually acquires not a partnership, but a personal character.

However, defining discipline as the answer to the question of how business and personal relationships differ, one cannot help but say that to a large extent it is also inherent in personal relationships, which are also not without subordination, for example, between parents and children. The difference is that the discipline of personal relationships is established naturally and does not violate the internal comfort of individuals, while business discipline takes the form of a documented official format.