When can you sleep with a man after meeting. Intimacy on the first date

Before you lure young man think carefully about where exactly you can see him. It will be easiest to rent a hotel room or arrange everything at home. Make sure in any case that the place is completely ready before evening.

On what date can you sleep with a guy

Clearly define your goals to understand what kind of date you can sleep with a man.

To do this, you can consider 4 options for the first contact:

• First date. You can agree to sex at this point if you clearly understand one thing. Your relationship can end at any moment. After one night, after two, after several months, it shouldn't matter to you. Three dates is the period that gives permission to seduce girls with guys. After 3 dates, a man cannot say with certainty that he is seriously in love and wants a long relationship. Consider this;
• 3-10 dates. Often this period takes 1-2 months. And if a man is going to wait given term, and at the same time his interest in you does not fade away, you can already talk about his serious intentions for you;
• 10 or more dates. If a man waits for more than 1.5-2 months, then he is truly in love with you. Most often, exactly 10 dates are used as an answer to the question: “On what date can you get close to a guy?”;
• 6 months of relationship or more. If a man is not against a platonic relationship for this long time, this does not characterize him in the best way. Either he is so blinded by you that he is ready to endure any whims, or has very low self-esteem, and therefore reconciled with such an unpromising expectation for him.

On what date can you sleep with a guy? The main thing is that in the first place you want this, otherwise there will be no pleasure.

How to get a guy to sleep with you

Sex is an important component in a relationship between a couple. If intimate life has become commonplace for you, you should think about new ways of sexual attention to your partner.

How long can you sleep with a guy

• If you like a man and would like to enter into a serious relationship with him, it is undesirable to have sex at the very beginning. This is not just a rule, it is a condition that shows how many times you increase your chances of achieving the goal. When you go on dates, you are just friends, and your communication is not binding.
• You want to communicate, you want - no. At this time, get to know the man as a person. What he is, what he likes, how he behaves. Thus, you will have a picture of trust or distrust in a man. If you sleep with him, then in the case of a relationship, passion will lead you. And it makes it difficult to adequately perceive.
• A man, inviting you on a date, will try to understand how close he can get to you and from which side. In the process, he will learn your character, interests, ideals, outlook on life, and so on. And while he wants to persuade the girl to have sex, he will be interested in you as much as possible. Whatever his goal, you can create a certain impression of yourself, and then he will receive not only a sexual interest, but also a human one.
• You can understand that at first he will want to get to know you only for sex. As soon as he gets it, interest will fade. If the time of intimacy is not rushed, but caught in a different way, then the relationship can develop further for more high level. Here you can even talk about love.
• Therefore, do not rush into sex because of the hope of being happy. Provide men with the opportunity to get to know you better, and then you will give yourself a chance to find that one.

If you decide to sleep with a guy for the first time

If, before having sex for the first time, you realized that the decision was made on your own, and it is well thought out, you can start preparing for this event.

What if you slept with an ex-boyfriend?

In life, it also happens that a girl ended up in the same bed with her ex. At this time, she begins to reproach herself and look for the cause of the current situation.

Sleeping on a first date is definitely not worth it. If you fall asleep on the first date, the man will think that you are bored with him. ... well, jokes, jokes, but this question really interests many girls: How will he react to me if I sleep with him on the first date? By "first date" you can mean the first meeting.

So, how soon can you start sleeping with a man and what's wrong with intimacy immediately after meeting? As always, science will answer us)

“Man is a hunter” is not quite the right answer

Human biology and psychology operate on certain similar principles for the vast majority of people. You have probably heard more than once that a man is a hunter by nature, he needs to hunt, achieve, win. This is the biological side.

Following the same logic, let's look at women. In ancient times (may the holy believers in God forgive me, for I am all for Darwinism) women, roughly speaking, sat in caves, so it is generally accepted that a woman’s place is at home, between pots and children. And the goal of a woman is to obey a man and create comfort for him.

However, what do we see in modern world? Yes, there are women (and there are many of them) who would be happy to cook borscht and give birth to children, but are forced to work - for the sake of money or fearing the censure of society.

But many women sincerely love to work, travel, constantly create something - they are bored of sitting at home. What are they wrong? And since not all women are housewives in their souls, is it worth keeping in mind that not all men are hunters in their souls? (I immediately remove the question about gays, because if, for example, a woman is not a housewife, but a workaholic, this does not mean that she is a lesbian? So a man - not a hunter is not necessarily gay)

Why there has been such an interesting “bevel” in the priorities of men and women since ancient times is the tenth question. This is the need for women at certain times in history to shoulder all the work on themselves, this is the upbringing of men and women in matriarchy, which was and is in many families, this is a natural expansion of human horizons with the development of civilization ...

Therefore, in this article, I am not going to reap the fact that a man is a hunter. Although there are still a lot of male hunters, it’s not a fact that the one you go on a date with is also like that.

"It just fell into my hands"

But there is also a psychological side, which, perhaps, will better answer the question of whether it is worth sleeping with a man on a first date. This side is true for almost all purposeful people and is as follows:

the more you want something, the longer you go to it, the more effort you put into your goal, the more you will appreciate the result.

This is true. You can probably remember a similar example from your own life. For example, the chain “I want a car - dad bought a car” is not at all equivalent to the chain “I want a car - I have been dreaming about a car for a long time - where can I get a car? - I work long and hard, I deny myself a lot in order to buy a car - I carefully choose a car, because you won’t spend your money on anything - I bought a car! Do you understand what I mean? In the first case - the quick fulfillment of a desire, in the second - both pride and a particularly reverent attitude towards what you have invested so much in.

The same is with food, the same is with any desires, the same is with relationships. And here it doesn’t matter at all whether you are a hunter by nature or not, you will appreciate what you spent time, nerves and strength on more than you will appreciate the same thing, but received instantly. This is definitely worth winding up on a mustache.

Therefore, I am sure that you should not sleep with a man on the first date. First dates are for getting to know each other. You will not have time to find out in a couple of hours what a person is.

And you have no idea how many - how shamefully many! - situations when a girl gave herself to a man at the first meeting, and a little later she found out that he was an asshole. And so she jumps on dates with different people and in different beds - and at the age of 40 she comes lonely, shabby and unhappy.

You don't want this? Then get to know the person well before moving on to intimacy and becoming attached to him.

Let's not beat around the bush

There are girls who are not looking Serious relationships. If you are one of those, do what you want)

If you are planning to get married in the future and build a strong happy family, you should understand that first dates are very important . How you behave towards them, how you present yourself, whether you are trying to find out if you are spending time with a worthy person - all this will directly affect your future relationship.

But often, instead of getting to know another person and showing themselves to be a worthy girl, girls jump into bed. And not because “you give an open relationship, I do what I want!”, But because they are simply afraid that they will not continue relations with them if they refuse intimacy.

Sleeping on a first date because of fear is generally tin. If you have done this, consider that you have driven the first nail into the coffin of your future with this person. Not because it happened as a fact and not because you showed yourself to be somehow different, but because you ALREADY, at the very first meetings, caved in under your own fear. You can't build a happy relationship like that, I promise you.

So instead of thinking about whether he will leave you if you don’t sleep, learn to behave on a date in such a way that he is afraid of at least something to bring you discomfort.

If a girl is cool and worthy, she is not abandoned, even if she does not agree to intimacy for several months! She is so good and behaves so competently that a man reaches for her, becoming more worthy. Are you like that?

If you want to become one, but don’t know how to do it yet, I give you a tip: watch the video training “ The perfect date. The first step to a happy relationship". Julia will teach you how to competently build a first date so that it develops into a serious and happy relationship.

About exceptions

However, as I keep reminding you, don't forget that people are different. I know at least three girls who slept with a man on the first date. And one of them was in a relationship with her man for three years, after which she went to another, two of them married their men, had children, and it seems that their men are quite happy.

Of course, it is impossible to say with certainty that the relationship of those two girls with their men will last until it stops, but the fact is that not every man will stop respecting a girl or lose interest in her if she sleeps with him on the first date.

Now you can say: “Oh, yes, these men are rags, since they fell in love with girls after this!” Nothing like that, the men are very good and not rags at all) It's just that specifically for them this factor does not play a special role.

So if you are wondering: “Sleep or not with him on the first date?”, proceed from the following: most men wouldn't like it . Not the process itself, but your self-respect, well, you understand) Because the “I want-have” chain is carried out too quickly and effortlessly, therefore, the result will be much less appreciated. Plus, in addition, the nature of the hunter does not get her way: the prey itself jumps into his hands - boredom ... But there is some chance that you will come across one of those men for whom this is not particularly important.

Do you want to take a risk and check if your potential partner is like that? I wouldn't do it.

In order not to miss new useful and interesting blog articles, among the first (there is still a present)!

We live in a sex-driven society where songs about one-time sex and sadomasochistic play are broadcast around the clock and young women dressed as prostitutes with condoms in Chanel purses are featured on television. The news is full of stories about teen pregnancy, and 19-year-olds star in pornographic films!

Yes, it's sex culture in full height. But just because other women fall for her more than ever before doesn't mean you should too! You are the right girl: you have self-esteem, your standards and your boundaries. So what is the right moment for the right girl to have sex?

The first sexual experience is a significant event, you should not rush to lose your virginity or do it with just anyone. Ideally, you should be in a relationship with a guy who cares about you, who is in love with you, who is kind to you and will gladly hug you later, and not with a man who treats you like a hole in his belt and rushes to get out as soon as possible. You do not want your "first time" to be an unpleasant event or one that you want to quickly forget. We think you should be at least 18 years old and it's best to wait as long as possible, ideally at least a year in a strong relationship. If you're older, it's still worth waiting at least three months (or 12 consecutive dates, meaning you should spend quite a lot of time together). In any case, make sure that you trust him and that you are comfortable with him.

The right girl makes the guy wait to help him fall in love with her, with her soul, with her essence - and not just with the body.

The longer you wait before having sex, the longer he will be able to woo you, plan romantic dates and dream about you.

A guy will treat you better and with more respect if you don't give up too soon. As we keep repeating, men love challenges and don't appreciate anything that comes too easy for them, especially sex! Women who are ready to rip off their clothes on the first date (or even on the second or third) do not force themselves to be appreciated, they are the opposite of girls who are different from the rest. They risk being dumped or become a fallback for “just sex” because their compliance is too obvious.

In the past, AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and possible pregnancy were the only risks for sexually active women. Today we still face these dangers, but there are a number of other pitfalls besides them, waiting for those who succumb too quickly to temptation. A man can humiliate you by installing hidden cameras in the room and making a "live broadcast" of your intercourse on the Internet or sending a recording to e-mail to their acquaintances. He can tell everyone that you spent the night together, and the "rumor mill" will instantly bombard you with SMS and messages on Twitter. Sleeping with a guy you just met is a really bad idea. If you don’t know each other well, then, by and large, he doesn’t care about you, and it doesn’t cost him anything to offend you. But the better he knows you, the safer you will be with him.

If you still decide that you want to sleep with a guy, first ask yourself the question: are you really sure that later he will call or write to you? Having sex with a person who will no longer make itself felt is terrible. Even if you “do not care” now, there is no guarantee that you will feel the same way the next morning or next week. Women tell us all the time that they "don't mind" if a guy only wants sex and nothing else. Common line: “Our eyes met and we knew it was going to happen; we just had to do it." They convince themselves that they are capable of treating sex in the same way as men, but the next morning they grab the phone convulsively and feel heartbroken when a random partner "disappears from the radar." Even Samantha Jones from Sex in big city» more than once fell in love with men!

It's always best to wait for an emotional connection to form before establishing a physical one so that it doesn't hurt excruciatingly later. Women want to feel real intimacy with a man, they want cozy hugs, they want to hear the words "beloved" and "the only one." They need security and a sense of togetherness. For a man, sex has a more mechanistic tinge: when everything is over, he is quite capable of getting up, getting dressed and, as if nothing had happened, go about his business. In general, no matter what feelings you expect from yourself, it always ends the same. Most women, by their very nature, desire emotional intimacy, and they invariably get hurt when they try to go against their nature.

Another important point: make sure you have the right motives. Don't use sex as bait to lure a man into a relationship. Do not coo with him while he puts on his socks, saying: "Well, when are you going to call me?" and do not write to him later: "How will our relationship develop now that we have slept with you?". Sex is not an excuse to talk about love or even chat online all night. If you slept, it does not mean that he owes you in an emotional sense. join sexual relations with that mindset, it's manipulation, and it usually backfires.

Sometimes a woman's frank calculation that sex will automatically entail greater intimacy can cause a man to go on the run.

By the way, some girls say they won't sleep with a guy on the first date, but agree to everything else: they let you handcuff themselves, have oral sex and think that it doesn't mean anything. How else does it mean! When we talk about making a man wait, we mean not allowing him anything more than a quick kiss on the first date. On the second date, let's "French" kiss if he wants it. On the third or fourth, you can afford a little more. By the time he talks about sex, if it seems to you that the time has not yet come for this, you have every right to say: “I would love to, but I’m not ready yet ...” If he starts to get angry or threatens to end your relationship, then you don't need this guy. Don't let any man put sexual pressure on you!

Other women take this Rule - "make him wait for sex" - to the extreme. We are not suggesting that you definitely make a man wait until you get married. Of course, if your religious or other beliefs support abstinence, we respect that. It's important not to tease the person: if you don't plan to sleep with him for half a year or a year (for whatever reason), it's only fair to tell him about it so that he decides for himself whether he wants to wait. Sometimes waiting too long can attract someone who isn't interested in sex at all. For such a man, the waiting situation is only at hand, because he has a reduced libido, or he prefers pornography intimacy, or is not so passionate about you. How do you know if you're sexually compatible if you wait until you get married? Sex is an important part of any relationship; we just think it should be approached with care.

But here's the most tricky part of this Rule: imagine that you are more interested in sex than a man. It seems to you that he is taking too long (this is the fifth date, and he only kisses you goodbye), and you want to speed things up. Should you take the first step? In no case! By initiating any physical action, you create a situation in which you play the role of the aggressor, which can make you feel uncomfortable in other aspects of the relationship. It's hard to feel secure when you're doing most of the work. Sex should be treated the same as anything else: a man should take the first step and help you feel desired. If he's not sexually active enough for your taste, he might not be the right guy for you.

However, denying a man sex in order to punish him is also not good. When something in a relationship doesn't work out the way you want it to, some women are motivated to get their way—even by denying their partner sex. We are categorically against this practice.

If you have already had sex with a man, there is no turning back - the tone for the relationship is set. The best way deal with the obstacle that has arisen - see him less often, slow down and suddenly become very busy.

Rules belong more to the realm of emotions than to physiology. He must feel that you are slipping away and he can lose you. See him less often and don't always reply to his messages; but if you have already slept with him, then continue in the same spirit and further. Otherwise, he will simply consider you a bitch.

Whenever you decide you're ready to have sex with a man, be smart and follow the safety rules. Don't let him convince you in the heat of the moment that you don't have to use a condom "just this time." If you are on birth control and have an exclusive, responsible relationship with him, ask him to get tested for sexually transmitted infections. You can even ask him to show you the results of the tests, because sometimes men lie, assuring that they passed all the tests. If you have any doubts, use a condom. Right girls take care of themselves and their safety!

Sooner or later, every girl faces the question: on what date can you sleep with the man you want to keep? As a rule, girls get the answer to this question from their friends. Some recommend not to rush, while others, on the contrary, advise not to delay. One way or another, the best advisers in this matter are psychologists. After all, it is they who know what men really want, and whether women need to adhere to the unspoken rule of five dates.

There has always been a tendency in our society that sex is unacceptable on a first date. Grandmothers groaned and gasped at the sight of "vertihvostok", which drag men to their homes. However, this statement can be disputed. Of course, every man wants to get close to the girl he likes as soon as possible. But, if a girl gave herself to him on the first date, this does not mean that she is easily accessible. For a man, the quality of sex and ease of communication are much more important. If a girl after a joint night will not try on Wedding Dress and planning the sex of the unborn child, which means she has a chance for a second date. However, a man may leave a girl after the first night, despite her unique appearance, rich inner world and quality sex. The fact is that each representative of the stronger sex has his own views on intimacy. There are men who simply collect the women they have slept with. For them, sex is an ordinary marathon, a race for leadership. And even if you have the appearance of Angelina Jolie, for such a man you will be just one position from a million list. Another category of men is waiting for their bright ideal, and in order not to get bored while waiting for the most best woman, they spend time with "less worthy" applicants.

Relationship Development Periods

Psychologists identify several periods in a relationship when a girl can agree to intimacy. Of course, these rules will not work with the men mentioned above. It is better to stay away from womanizers and dreamers. For the first, you will never become special, and the second are waiting for a non-existent person. With other men, you can safely be guided by the following instructions.

Dating period

Is not best time in order to demonstrate your talents to a man in bed, because you are just starting to get closer and get to know each other. Usually this period includes the first three dates. Of course, you can agree to sex on the first date if you are confident in yourself and your partner. However, pick-up artists are taught to “breed” women for sex precisely in three dates. So, for starters, it's better to make sure that your chosen one is experiencing sincere feelings, and not just training his seduction skills.

Adaptation period

The interval from four to ten dates is usually called the period of adaptation, when a man and a woman have already looked at each other and are starting to get used to it. During this period, sex is acceptable, but you should not be sure that a man will begin to take you seriously after intimacy.

Rapture Period

The most favorable period when it is necessary to bring relations to a new level. As a rule, it begins after ten dates. At this time, a man and a woman see in their partner only positive sides. Psychologists say that after a month of a stable relationship, sex will only strengthen them. After all, you have already known your partner enough and are confident in his sincere intentions.

If a man agreed to a platonic relationship for six months or a year, then you should be wary. Maybe he's having sex with another girl.

So what do you need to know before entering into a relationship with a man? intimate relationship ! This is a bitter truth, but you need to know it: if a man has sex with a woman, this does not mean that he even for a second thinks about whether he wants or not to have any relationship with this woman in the future. Sometimes he just wants to sleep with a woman! If you think that joining a man in intimate relationship, you will make him value himself, you are extremely mistaken.

Physical attraction or physical intimacy is not enough for a man to realize that you are the one and he wants more. Every woman I know mistakenly equates sex with a relationship. But it's not!

Remember what happens in the morning? After ... Suppose you had this happen, you had sex with a man, and then what, then he will move away from you, stop calling, inviting you on dates ... Or another option: he behaves in the same way as before sex with you, when meeting a slight nod of the head and no more reaction when you are nearby. You begin to think that he was just playing with you and was dishonest in his intentions from the beginning.

But stop and answer one question for yourself: Did YOU tell him what you want from your relationship before you slept with him? Has he heard from you something like: “I only sleep with men when I want us to have a long relationship!” or "I'm going into intimate relationship only with the man who truly appreciates me and sees me as an amazing woman!” Seems to me that it doesn't. On the contrary, you probably, like many women, during the “meetings without obligations” did not let him understand what all this is for: whether you are looking for entertainment or a serious relationship. You think that the fact of sexual intimacy speaks for itself, and you are wrong.

If you've ever felt offended that, after physical intimacy, a man broke off the relationship without even thinking about further dates, in all likelihood, looking back, you will realize that you made a mistake. Of course, it seems to you that it was not you who made a mistake in this situation, but the man did not understand anything, turned out to be a player who was not ready for a relationship. However, deep in your soul, you realize that when you enter into a relationship with a man, intimate relationship, you thought that this would be sufficient “proof”, and he would love you and begin to appreciate, and if you arranged everything “perfectly”, then he could become open and loving, become exactly the way you imagined him to be in your imagination .

But the man does not think about it, he thinks that the sex was consensual, and you, like him, do not make any plans for the future. And you did not even try to explain to him that this is not so, at least on your part. It must be clearly understood that men are more likely than women to have sex at one time!!!

Stop relying on the fact that he himself should guess everything, that a man should think and build relationships in the same way as you, and that if you already call him “your future man” in your head, then it is ! NO! Look at the situation with wide eyes, and do not soar in your dreams.

Another mistake of women is when they plunge headlong into his actions, his feelings, his emotions and desires and begin to forget about one important thing - about THEIR own desires. Women indulge a man in everything and even agree to sleep with a man without any obligations. But after she told him about her plans and feelings, they see with regret how he leaves her (leaves), taking with him all women's dreams, leaving only suffering and disappointment!

Why do men act the way they do? Why, when it comes to sex, do they tend to "run away"? This is a completely different article!

And today we are talking with you about the fact that every woman, if she is looking for a long-term and romantic relationship, should inform her partner about this before sleep with a man!
We must not project all our dreams and desires onto every man, passing them off as reality. In fact, your desires are only yours. A man may have a completely different approach to the current situation, and you need to learn about this from him, and not trust only your fantasies.

This knowledge will free you from the pain you feel when you get attached to a man and then lose him. You must learn to plan your sex with a man at every stage of the relationship and really look at things.