Modern problems of science and education. A set of classes with training elements aimed at developing self-acceptance among female students expecting the birth of a child. Unconditional acceptance and self-acceptance in the training group
Introduction
The concept of self-acceptance is an important psychological issue. Many scientists consider self-acceptance to be a necessary component of an individual's mental health. M. Yagoda included self-acceptance as high self-esteem and a strong sense of identity in the criteria for mental health.
Self-acceptance is a nuclear formation of the personality structure and manifests itself in a positive emotional-value attitude towards oneself, in adequate self-esteem, in self-understanding, reflection of one’s inner world and one’s actions, self-respect and in acceptance of other people, in awareness of the value of oneself, one’s inner world. Self-acceptance depends on relationships with others and is adequate when these relationships become a value. Self-acceptance is based on moral values. Self-acceptance as a mechanism of personal development is most fully considered in humanistic psychology (Rogers K., Maslow A., Orlov A.B.).
Self-acceptance is associated with basic personal formations and determines the effectiveness of communication, the effectiveness of activities, psychological well-being, and the psychological and even mental health of the individual. Therefore, the problem of self-acceptance should be an object of interest not only for theoretical psychologists, but also for practical psychologists.
An object
research - the concept of self-acceptance of personality, item
- specificity of the concept of self-acceptance in various psychological approaches. Target
research - to identify the features of the concept of self-acceptance depending on the psychological approach. Tasks
:
1)study the problem of personal self-acceptance in foreign and domestic literature; 2)clarify the definition of self-acceptance; )identify common and specific features in different approaches to self-acceptance; )formulate a working definition of self-acceptance for further empirical research. 1. Self-acceptance in psychoanalysis and neobehaviorism
1.1
Self-acceptance in the theory of Sigmund Freud
The concept of self-acceptance is closely related to a person’s self-awareness. 3 Igmund Freud was the first to develop a theory of self-consciousness at the psychological level, but it is considered within the framework general structure mental. Freud divides the entire psyche into three systems, different in the laws of their functioning. First of all, it is a mental instance of the id, which is based on subjective unconscious needs of a biological or affective order. The second system, the instance of the ego, is the center that regulates the process of conscious adaptation, responsible for the intrapsychic processing and regulation of all external sensations, for the organization personal experience. The ego is that part of the id that has been modified by proximity and influence from the external world. But unlike the id, the ego is guided by the reality principle. The superego authority represents a kind of moral censorship, the content of which is the norms, prohibitions, and requirements of society accepted by the individual. The superego acts as the bearer of the “I-ideal”, with which the ego measures itself, to which it strives, and whose requirement for constant self-improvement it tries to fulfill. The ego structure ensures the balance of the id and superego. To bring S. Freud’s theory to the terminology discussed above, we can conditionally call the ego - personal “I”, superego - social. When the ego experiences the threat of punishment from the superego, the resulting emotional response is called moral anxiety. Moral anxiety occurs whenever the id seeks to actively express immoral thoughts or actions, and the superego responds with feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame. Moral anxiety stems from an objective fear of parental punishment for some actions or actions (for example, for obscene swearing or shoplifting) that violate the perfectionistic demands of the superego. The superego directs behavior towards actions that fit into the individual's moral code. The subsequent development of the superego leads to social anxiety, which arises from the threat of exclusion from the peer group due to unacceptable attitudes or actions. Freud later became convinced that anxiety, which originates from the superego, ultimately grows into the fear of death and the expectation of future retribution for past or present sins. Thus, in this theory, the level of self-acceptance of an individual depends on the degree to which a person’s real “I” corresponds to his “I” ideal, formed by the superego under the influence of parents and society. 1.2
The problem of self-acceptance in the theory of Karen Horney
The psychoanalytic school subsequently developed in several directions. One of S. Freud's followers, K. Horney, considered conditioned illusory ideas about oneself to be the central point of self-awareness. This “ideal self” makes you feel pseudo-safe. Thus, K. Horney considers human self-awareness through the interaction of the “real self” and the “ideal self.” At the same time, attitudes towards oneself are formed under the influence of parents, largely determining the “sign” of the attitude. Horney describes how a child is deprived of self-acceptance at a very early age: “How can you lose yourself? Betrayal, unknown and unthinkable, begins in childhood, with our secret mental death - when we are not loved and cut off from our spontaneous desires. (Think: what's left?) But wait - the victim may even outgrow this, but it's a perfect double crime, not just murder psyche. She can already be written off, and the little “I” steadily and against her will takes her place. A person is not accepted for who he really is. Oh yes, they love him, but they expect him to become (or want to force him to become) different! Therefore he must become as it should be. He himself learns to believe in it, or at least takes it for granted. He truly gave up on himself. And it doesn’t matter whether he obeys them, rebels, or hides - only his behavior matters. His center of gravity is in “them”, not in him, and if he even notices this, he will think that this is quite normal. And it all looks quite plausible; everything happens clearly, involuntarily and anonymously! Thus, a person’s self-acceptance, like her self-awareness, is formed on the basis of relationships with other people and, first of all, with parents. In order for a child to develop self-acceptance, he needs the love and acceptance of his parents. Moreover, he should receive them regardless of whether he meets the expectations and desires of his parents or not. 1.3 The problem of self-acceptance in Erik Erikson’s theory
The most influential representative of neo-Freudianism was E. Erikson. The main concept developed by Erikson is the concept of identity. It denotes a firmly acquired and personally accepted image of oneself in all the richness of the individual’s relationships with the world around him. Identity is, first of all, an indicator of a mature (adult) personality, the origins of which are hidden in the previous stages of ontogenesis. This is a configuration into which constitutional predisposition, characteristics of libidinal needs, preferred abilities, effective defense mechanisms, successful sublimations and fulfilled roles are integrated. According to Erikson, a person experiences a number of psychosocial crises throughout his life. The scientist identifies eight stages of identity development, at each of which a person makes a choice between two alternative phases of solving age-related and situational development problems. The nature of the choice affects the entire subsequent life in terms of its success and failure. At the first stage, the baby decides the fundamental question of his entire subsequent life - whether he trusts the world around him or not. The baby's progressive autonomy (first of all, the ability to move - crawling, and later - walking; development of speech, etc.) allows the child to move on to solving the second life task - gaining independence (an alternative / negative option - self-doubt). At the third stage (from 4 to 6 years old), the choice between initiative and guilt is realized. At this age, the child’s life space expands; he begins to set goals for himself, come up with activities, show creativity in speech, and fantasize. The fourth stage (from 6 to 11 years) is associated with the mastery of various skills (including the ability to learn), as well as symbols of culture. Here a feeling of competence is formed, and if it proceeds negatively, a feeling of inferiority. Having mastered the basics of knowledge, children begin to identify themselves with representatives of certain professions; public approval of their activities becomes important for them. The fifth stage (11 - 20 years) is key for acquiring a sense of identity. At this time, the teenager oscillates between the positive pole of identification (“I”) and the negative pole of role confusion. The teenager is faced with the task of combining everything that he knows about himself as a son/daughter, school student, athlete, friend, etc. He must combine all this into a single whole, comprehend it, connect it with the past and project it into the future. If the crisis proceeds successfully adolescence boys and girls develop a sense of identity; if unfavorable, a confused identity is associated with painful doubts about themselves, their place in the group, in society, and with an unclear life perspective. Here Erikson introduces a completely original term - “psychological moratorium” - which denotes the crisis period between adolescence and adulthood, during which multidimensional changes occur in the individual. complex processes gaining adult identity and a new attitude towards the world. The crisis gives rise to a state of “diffusion of identity,” which forms the basis of the specific pathology of adolescence. The sixth stage (from 21 to 25 years) marks, according to Erikson, the transition to solving adult problems on the basis of a formed psychosocial identity. Young people join friendly relations, marriage, children appear. The global issue of the fundamental choice between this broad field of establishing friendships and family ties with the prospect of raising a new generation is being resolved - and the isolationism characteristic of people with a confused identity and other, even earlier errors in the line of development. The seventh stage (25 - 50/60 years), which occupies the lion's share of human life, is associated with the contradiction between a person's ability to develop, which he receives on the basis of what he acquired at the previous stages, and personal stagnation, the slow regression of the individual in the process of everyday life. The reward for mastering the ability for self-development is the formation of human individuality and uniqueness. The eighth stage (after 60 years) completes the path of life, and here, reaping the fruits of the life lived, a person either finds peace and balance as a consequence of the integrity of his personality, or finds himself doomed to hopeless despair as the result of a confused life. So, during adolescence, every person in one way or another experiences a crisis associated with the need for self-determination, in the form of a whole series of social and personal choices and identifications. If a young man fails to resolve these problems in a timely manner, he develops an inadequate identity. Diffuse, fuzzy identity is a state when an individual has not yet made a responsible choice, for example, a profession or worldview, which makes his self-image vague and uncertain. Unpaid identity is a state when a young man has accepted a certain identity, having bypassed the complex and painful process of introspection, he is already included in the system of adult relationships, but this choice was not made consciously, but under influence from the outside or according to ready-made standards. Thus, the concept of identity is very close to the concept of self-acceptance, since, according to Erikson’s definition, identity is a firmly acquired and personally accepted image of oneself in all the richness of the individual’s relationships with the surrounding world. According to Erikson, self-acceptance can be achieved by an individual as a result of a successful resolution of an identity crisis, when a person successfully solves all the problems of a given age period, which leads to a strengthening of his sense of self-identity and awareness of the value of his own individuality. The most important in this regard is the crisis of adolescence. 1.4 The problem of self-acceptance in the theory of Albert Bandura
In neobehaviorism, Albert Bandura studied issues close to the concept of self-acceptance. From a social-cognitive perspective, people tend to become anxious and self-judgmental when they violate their internal norms of behavior. During socialization, they repeatedly experience the following sequence of events: misconduct - internal discomfort - punishment - relief. In this case, actions that do not correspond to internal norms of behavior cause anxious forebodings and self-condemnation that do not go away until punishment occurs. It, in turn, not only puts an end to the suffering of the wrongdoing and its possible social consequences, but also aims to regain the approval of others. Accordingly, self-punishment relieves internal discomfort and bad feelings, which can last longer and be more difficult to bear than the punishment itself. Self-punishment reactions last a long time, as they soften mental pain and weaken external punishment. By judging themselves for morally unworthy actions, people stop being tormented by past behavior. Self-criticism can also reduce distress over inappropriate or disappointing behavior. Another reason for using self-criticism is that it is often effective means reduce negative reactions from others. In other words, when certain behaviors are likely to result in disciplinary action, self-punishment may be the lesser of two evils. Finally, verbal self-punishment can be used to elicit praise from others. By judging and belittling himself, an individual can force other people to comment on his positive qualities and abilities and assure him that he needs to try and everything will be fine. While self-punishment can put an end to anxious thoughts or at least reduce them, it can also increase personal discomfort. Indeed, excessive or prolonged self-punishment based on overly strict standards of self-esteem can cause chronic depression, apathy, feelings of worthlessness and lack of purpose. As an example, we can think of people who suffer from a significant underestimation of themselves due to loss of dexterity due to aging or some kind of physical impairment, but continue to adhere to the same norms of behavior. They may belittle themselves and their successes so much that they end up becoming apathetic and abandoning activities that previously brought them great satisfaction. Behaviors that are a source of internal discomfort may also contribute to the development various forms psychopathology. For example, people who constantly feel inadequate and experience failure may become alcoholics or drug addicts as a way of coping with their environment. Others can protect themselves from self-criticism by retreating into a dream world, where they achieve in unrealistic fantasies what is unattainable in reality. Thus, if a person has too high demands on himself and there is a significant gap between his ideal self and his real self, he cannot accept himself and is forced to constantly resort to self-punishment in order to reduce internal discomfort. But such measures can negatively affect the development of his personality, adaptation, and even lead to the emergence of psychopathologies. In Bandura's theory, the concept of self-acceptance is also associated with the concept of self-efficacy. The concept of self-efficacy refers to people's ability to recognize their ability to engage in behavior appropriate to a specific task or situation. From Bandura's perspective, self-efficacy, or the perceived ability to cope with specific situations, influences several aspects of psychosocial functioning. The way a person evaluates his own effectiveness determines for him the expansion or limitation of the possibility of choosing an activity, the efforts that he will have to make to overcome obstacles and frustrations, and the persistence with which he will solve some problem. In short, self-perceptions of effectiveness influence patterns of behavior, motivation, behavioral structure and the emergence of emotions. According to Bandura, people who perceive their self-efficacy put more effort into difficult tasks than people who have serious doubts about their abilities. In turn, high self-efficacy associated with expectations of success usually leads to good performance and thus promotes self-esteem. In contrast, low self-efficacy associated with the expectation of failure usually leads to failure and thus reduces self-esteem. From this perspective, people who perceive themselves as unable to cope with difficult or dangerous situations are likely to focus excessively on their personal shortcomings and constantly exhaust themselves with self-criticism about their own incompetence. In contrast, people who believe in their ability to solve a problem are likely to persist in achieving their goals despite obstacles and will not be prone to self-criticism. Bandura proposed that the acquisition of self-efficacy can occur in any of four ways (or any combination of them): the ability to construct behavior, vicarious experience, verbal persuasion, and a state of physical (emotional) arousal. Let's look at each of these four factors. Thus, self-efficacy develops on the basis of individual self-acceptance. A person accepts himself, evaluates himself adequately and positively, as a result of which he begins to adequately and positively evaluate his abilities, believe in his strength, which leads to an increase in his self-efficacy and success in his activities. Therefore, we can conclude that self-acceptance has a positive effect on the success of an individual’s activities. 2. Self-acceptance in existential psychology self-perception freud humanistic existential Very close to the problem of self-acceptance in existential psychology is one of key concepts of this direction - namely authenticity. Authenticity (from the Greek authentikys - genuine) is the ability of a person in communication to refuse various social roles, allowing the manifestation of genuine thoughts, emotions and behavior that are unique to a given individual. The first and main condition for authenticity is awareness, or openness to internal and external experience, or sensitivity to oneself, the ability to listen to oneself. This is not an abstract, isolated search for something within oneself as opposed to the world. On the contrary, a person listens to himself and experiences himself through the world. Every external event causes him to have some reaction, which is not always what he wants. A person does not always feel what he thinks he “should” feel. And what he “shouldn’t” feel, he represses, projects, or otherwise separates from himself. But a person is able to experience himself as a subject only if he actively reacts to the outside world, therefore the repression of his own feelings turns into alienation from himself, the loss of the sense of “I” and leads him to powerlessness, uncertainty, inner emptiness, and lack of meaning. After all, meaning is partiality, when a person “cares”, when something in life is not indifferent to him - it is significant for him. Events that occur in a person’s life always happen to him, and therefore are inevitably significant for him; if it seems to us that no significant events are happening in our lives, the point is not in life, but in our ability to perceive this significance, to listen to the voice of our living inner “I”, and not to the external, alienated, dead mind. The first step to authenticity is a person’s discovery and acceptance of his own feelings, awareness of his right to feel, experience, that is, to be. The wider the life world of a person, the richer the meanings that he is able to draw from it, the more that he cares about (and for which he is thereby responsible), the more authentic his existence. The first step to authenticity was awareness. At this stage, a person recognizes his own feelings as a given, as something “objective.” But in order to become free in relation to these feelings and take responsibility for them, a person needs a second step. This is gaining self-confidence, or inner agreement with your feelings. A person needs to believe that his inner source (to the extent that he is able to listen to it) brings him truer opinions than external authorities. Any external authorities are alienated, imaginary, if trust in them is not supported by internal consent. You only need to trust yourself because it is the only thing you can trust before you can trust anything else. But what does it mean to “trust”? Our feelings do not bring us objective truth about the world, but only the truth about our own being. It becomes the truth about the world to the extent that we belong to the world, that is, we are not alienated from it. Once a person has become aware of the rage or anger they are experiencing, trusting them does not mean going out and destroying their object. This means accepting them as a certain truth, information that something in a person’s existence is threatening for him, that is, really significant - even if it is not significant from the point of view of all external criteria or “should not” be significant at all, according to this person's opinion. So trust own feelings does not mean to trust blindly, to strive for their immediate implementation, but to consider them as material for reflection, as some truths about the life world of the subject, which can and should be somehow treated in reflection and in action. The third step to authenticity is acquiring the ability to make decisions. When something is significant to a person, he decides what to do with it. But even at the decision stage, he continuously correlates possible options acting with his inner voice: he is aware, he is focused, he keeps himself focused. Otherwise decision may turn out to be incorrect. The right decision is an internally justified decision. Even if, as a result, the chosen alternative turns out to be not ideal from the point of view of external criteria, a person can say that he acted as he considered necessary. Self-confidence underlies free choice, being its only “reliable” criterion. However, paradoxically, it limits the “formal” freedom of a person. Instead of many paths, equally alien and indifferent to him, he begins to see the only path that is truly his own. And a person constantly chooses whether to follow this path or abandon it. The fourth step to authenticity is the ability to carry out an action even in a situation where its “internal evidence” ceases to be apparent to a person. This is also self-trust, but “retrospective” trust, which allows you to act of your own will, follow your own choice, listening to doubts and questioning them, but not following them ahead of time, blindly. A person cannot maintain self-focus all the time, but if he believes that the path he has chosen is the right one, if he accepts responsibility for that path, he has a better chance of regaining self-focus. However, authenticity is not a simple sequence of steps, but a property of a holistic being, which includes in a collapsed form all these stages, all these “existential abilities”, which are formed separately in ontogenesis, but are subsequently integrated, forming an integrity that becomes the main quality of being. Authenticity is always connected not only with experiencing, but also with a person’s realization of himself, and he both experiences and realizes himself in inextricable connection with the outside world. This is the acquisition of some stable internal position from which a person can contact the outside world, accepting and transforming it. Without this internal position, full contact with the world turns out to be impossible. If a person does not stand firmly on this foundation, many things in the world are capable of shaking or even destroying him, and therefore he avoids them, his existence turns out to be incomplete. Without being honest with yourself, it is impossible to become honest with others; Without being strong and courageous enough, it is impossible to be open to another person, accept him and support him. Authenticity is therapeutic in itself. Its owner does not need any techniques or special techniques. Authenticity is the ability to say: I am. That's who I am and I agree with it. And I will act in accordance with myself and with what I experience as important to me. Authenticity is the ability for a person to realize himself. But a person cannot become authentic once and for all, in the sense of acquiring some property. Authenticity is a quality of being, a property of a process, which in every human action either manifests itself or again becomes hidden. To discover your own authenticity is to be fully born. This does not yet mean becoming fully human, but it already means acquiring such an opportunity. Therefore, authenticity is the highest degree of self-acceptance, when a person completely accepts himself, trusts himself and constantly listens to himself, to his true thoughts and feelings, and not to generally accepted norms and authorities. However, it is a continuous process. This is constant honesty with yourself and the world around you, the constant implementation of conscious choice. It is the key to a healthy and fulfilling existence, functioning and development of the individual. 3. Humanistic psychology and the problem of self-acceptance
.1 The problem of self-acceptance in the theory of Carl Rogers
The problem of self-acceptance is given the greatest attention in the humanistic approach of Carl Rogers. According to Rogers' theory, "self" means a process, a system that, by definition, is changing, impermanent. In his reasoning, Rogers relies precisely on this difference and emphasizes the variability and flexibility of the “I.” Drawing on the concept of the fluid self, Rogers formulated the theory that people are not only capable of personal development and growth - this tendency is natural and predominant for them. The "I" or "me" concept is a person's understanding of himself based on past life experiences, present events, and hopes for the future. If the ideal self is very different from the real self, this difference can seriously interfere with the normal healthy functioning of the individual. People suffering from such differences are often simply not ready to see the difference between their ideals and actual actions. For example, some parents say they will do “anything” for their children, but in reality the responsibilities of parenting are a burden to them. Such parents do not fulfill the promises they make to their children. As a result, children become confused. Parents either cannot or do not want to see the difference between their real self and their ideal self. As a child becomes aware of his or her self, his or her need for love or positive regard increases. “This need in human beings is universal, and in man it is common and stable. For the theory it is not so important whether this need is acquired or innate.” Because children do not separate their personality from their actions, they often respond to praise for doing the right thing as if they themselves were being praised. They react to punishment in the same way as if it were disapproval of their personality as a whole. Love is so important for a child that “he is guided in his behavior not by how much the experience he acquires supports and strengthens his body, but by the likelihood of receiving maternal love” (1959, p. 225). The child behaves in a way to win love or gain approval, regardless of whether such behavior is normal or not. Children may act contrary own interests, seeking first of all the favor of others. Theoretically, this situation is not necessary if the child's personality is accepted as a whole and provided that the adult accepts the child's negative feelings, but rejects the behavior that accompanies them. Under such ideal conditions, the child will not be pressured to give up unattractive but natural traits of his personality. “So we see a basic alienation in man. He is not sincere about himself, about his own organic assessment of experiences and, in order to maintain a positive assessment of other people, he falsifies some of the values he has realized and considers them only from the point of view of attractiveness to others. This is still not a conscious choice, but a completely natural - and tragic - consequence of child development” (1959, p. 226). Behaviors and attitudes that deny some aspect of the self are called claims of merit. Such demands are considered necessary to feel self-worth and win love. However, they not only interfere with a person’s free behavior, but also interfere with his development and awareness of his own personality; lead to the development of inconsistency and even rigidity of personality. Such requirements mainly impede correct perception and prevent a person from thinking realistically. These are selective blinders and filters used by those who need the love of others. As children, we adopt certain attitudes and behaviors in order to be worthy of love. We understand that if we accept certain conditions, relationships and behave accordingly, we will be worthy of the love of others. Such difficult relationships and actions belong to the area of personality incongruence. In extreme situations, demands for recognition are characterized by the belief that “I should be loved and respected by everyone with whom I come into contact.” Demands for recognition of merit create a discrepancy between the self and the self-concept. If a child is told, for example, “You have to love your new little sister, otherwise Mom and Dad won’t love you,” then the meaning of such a statement is that he must suppress any sincere negative feelings he feels towards his sister. Only if he manages to hide his ill will and normal manifestations of jealousy, only then will his father and mother continue to love him. If he admits his feelings, he risks losing his parents' love. The solution (which is driven by the demand for recognition) is to deny such feelings and block their perception. This means that the feelings that somehow come to the surface will most likely not correspond to their manifestation. He will probably react like this: “I really love my little sister; I hugged her until she cried,” or “I accidentally tripped her leg and she fell,” or something more universal: “She started it first!” Rogers writes about the incredible joy that his older brother experienced as soon as the opportunity arose to hit his younger brother for something. Their mother, brother and the future scientist himself were stunned by such cruelty. Later, the brother recalled that he was not particularly angry with the younger one, but this was a rare opportunity, and he wanted to “throw off” as much of the accumulated anger as possible. Acknowledging these feelings and expressing them when they arise is healthier, Rogers says, than denying them or assuming they don't exist. Rogers has devoted a number of studies to studying the relationship between self-acceptance and acceptance of others. A body of research that draws on Rogers' theoretical developments concerns the proposition that the more a person accepts himself, the more likely he is to accept others. This connection between self-acceptance and acceptance of others is based on the observation made by Rogers that at the beginning of therapy, clients usually have a negative self-concept - they are unable to accept themselves. However, as these clients become more accepting of themselves, they become more accepting of others. In other words, Rogers proposed that if self-acceptance occurs (that is, if there is little discrepancy between the real and ideal self), then a feeling of acceptance, respect, and value from others emerges. Other theorists have also suggested that attitudes toward oneself are reflected in attitudes toward others. Erich Fromm, for example, argued that self-love and love for others go hand in hand (Fromm, 1956). He further noted that self-dislike is accompanied by significant hostility towards others. Various studies using college students or therapy recipients have supported the connection between self-acceptance and acceptance of others (Berger, 1955; Suinn, 1961). In terms of Rogers's theory itself, evidence shows that self-acceptance and acceptance of others characterize the parent-child relationship. Coopersmith (1967), for example, conducted a retrospective study of the development of self-esteem in boys aged 10–12 years. He found that parents of boys with high self-esteem were more loving and affectionate and raised their sons without resorting to coercive disciplinary measures such as deprivation of pleasures and isolation. Further, the parents were democratic in the sense that they took into account the child's opinion when making family decisions. Conversely, parents of boys with low self-esteem were found to be more distant, less welcoming, and more likely to use physical punishment for their sons' misbehavior. Similar data have been obtained for girls and their parents (Hales, 1967). Another study tested the hypothesis that there was a significant positive correlation between self-acceptance and child acceptance in a group of young mothers (Medinnus & Curtis, 1963). The subjects were 56 mothers of children attending a cooperative kindergarten. Two measures of maternal self-acceptance were obtained. The first was obtained using the Bills Index of Adjustment and Values questionnaire, which measures the magnitude of the difference between the “I” and the ideal self. To obtain the second, we used the “Semantic Differential Scale”, consisting of 20 bipolar adjectives, in which the difference between the rating of “I in reality” (the way I am) and “I ideally” (the way I most want to be) was operationally defined as the second dimension characterizing maternal self-acceptance. Numerical expressions of child acceptance were obtained using the same set of bipolar adjectives. The difference between maternal ratings of “my child in reality” (as he is) and “my child in ideal” (as I would most like him to be) was defined as the mother's degree of acceptance of her child. The correlation between the two values of maternal self-acceptance and the value of child acceptance is shown in Table 1. As can be seen from the table, each of the three correlation coefficients is statistically significant. These results support Rogers' view that mothers who are self-accepting (having positive self-attention) are much more likely to accept their children for who they are than mothers who are not self-accepting. In addition, the results suggest that the range in which a child develops a positive self-image depends on the extent to which his parents are able to accept themselves.” Table 1. Correlations between maternal self-acceptance and child acceptance. Values Self-acceptance according to BillsAcceptance of a child according to the semantic differential
Self-acceptance by semantic differential-0.57**0.33*Self-acceptance by Bills-0.48***p<0,05; ** p <0,01
One of the most important concepts in Rogers' theory related to self-acceptance is congruence. Rogers does not divide people into adapted or maladjusted, sick and healthy, normal and abnormal; instead, he writes about people's ability to perceive their actual situation. He introduces the term congruence, which refers to the exact correspondence between experience, communication and awareness. That is, we can say that he views congruence as the ability to adequately perceive and accept one’s own communications, experiences and experiences. A high degree of congruence implies that communication (what a person tells another), experience (what happens) and awareness (what a person notices) are more or less adequate to each other. The observations of the person himself and any outside observer will coincide when the person has a high degree of congruence. Young children exhibit a high degree of congruence. They express their feelings so readily and so completely that experience, communication and awareness are almost the same thing for them. If the child is hungry, he declares it. When children are in love or angry, they express their emotions completely and frankly. Perhaps this is the reason that children move from one state to another at such a speed. Adults are prevented from fully expressing their feelings by the emotional baggage of the past, which they feel with each new meeting. Congruence is well illustrated by the Zen Buddhist saying: “When I am hungry, I eat; when I'm tired, I sit down to rest; when I want to sleep, I lie down and fall asleep.” Incongruity manifests itself as discrepancies between awareness, experience, and communication. For example, people are incongruent when they appear angry (clench their fists, raise their voices, and swear), but even under pressure they insist on the opposite. Incongruity also occurs in people who say they are having a wonderful time but are actually bored, lonely, or awkward. Incongruity is the inability to accurately perceive reality, the inability or unwillingness to accurately communicate one's feelings to another, or both. When incongruence manifests itself in a discrepancy between experiences and their awareness, Rogers calls it suppression, or denial. The person simply does not realize what he is doing. Most psychotherapists work on this aspect of incongruity by helping people become more aware of their actions, thoughts, and attitudes to the extent that their clients' behavior affects themselves and others. “The greater the therapist's ability to listen carefully to what is going on within himself, and the more he is able to recognize without fear the complexity of his own feelings, the greater his degree of congruence” (Rogers, 1961, p. 61). When incongruence manifests itself as a mismatch between awareness and communication, the person is not expressing his or her true feelings or experiences. A person who exhibits this type of incongruity may appear deceitful, inauthentic, and dishonest to others. These behaviors are often discussed in group therapy or group sessions. A person who cheats or behaves dishonestly may appear angry. However, coaches and therapists say that a lack of social congruence and a seeming reluctance to communicate are not actually indicative of an evil character, but of a person's low self-control and self-perception. Due to fears or difficult to overcome long-standing habits of secrecy, people lose the ability to express their true emotions. It also happens that a person has difficulty trying to understand the desires of others, or cannot express his perceptions in a way that makes sense to them. Incongruity manifests itself in a feeling of tension, anxiety; in extreme situations, incongruity can result in disorientation and confusion. Psychiatric patients who do not know where they are, what time of day they are, or even forget their names exhibit high levels of incongruity. The incongruence between external reality and their subjective experience is so great that they can no longer act without outside protection. Most of the symptoms described in the psychopathology literature fit the definition of incongruity. Rogers emphasizes that incongruence of any kind must be resolved. Conflicting feelings, ideas, or interests are not in themselves symptoms of incongruity. In fact, this is a normal and healthy occurrence. Incongruence is expressed in the fact that a person is not aware of these conflicts, does not understand them and, therefore, is unable to resolve or balance them. Many people find it difficult to admit that we all have different and even contradictory feelings. We behave differently at different times. This is neither unusual nor abnormal, but an inability to acknowledge, cope with, or accept conflicting feelings may indicate incongruity. Thus, the incongruence of a person is manifested in her inability to recognize and accept her own conflicting impulses, feelings and thoughts. A person does not accept certain components of his own personality, as a result of which he begins to actively use the mechanisms of denial and suppression, which does not allow him to fully function and causes problems not only of an intrapersonal, but also of an interpersonal nature. Therefore, self-acceptance is a necessary condition for personality congruence, since for a person to adequately perceive himself and coordinate his own communications, experiences and experiences, he must first of all have the ability to recognize and accept them as they really exist. Carl Rogers identified four qualities that are necessary for successful and developing communication between people, including communication between a psychotherapist and a client. These include congruence, self-acceptance, acceptance of others, and empathic understanding. As already mentioned, congruence is the correspondence between a person’s experience and his awareness. “In my relationships with other people, I have discovered that nothing good will come of it if I pretend to be someone I am not. A mask expressing calm and contentment will not help improve relationships if anger and threat are hidden behind it; nor a friendly expression on your face if you are hostile at heart; nor ostentatious self-confidence, behind which one feels fear and uncertainty. I have found that this is true even for less complex levels of behavior. It doesn't help if I act like I'm healthy when I feel sick." (1, p. 58) From the first quality - congruence, necessary for successful communication, the second directly follows, namely, accepting yourself as you are. “It became easier for me to accept myself as an imperfect person who, of course, does not act in all cases the way he would like. A curious paradox arises - when I accept myself as I am, I change." “To be who you are is to become completely a process. Only when a person can become more of who he is, be what he denies in himself, is there any hope for change. Does it imply being angry, uncontrollable, destructive? The entire course of experiences in psychotherapy contradicts these fears. The more a person is able to allow his feelings to belong to him and flow freely, the more they occupy their appropriate place in the overall harmony of feelings. He discovers that he has other feelings with which the above mentioned are mixed and balanced. He feels loving, affectionate, considerate and cooperative as well as hostile, lustful and angry. He feels interest, liveliness, curiosity, as well as laziness or indifference. His feelings, when he lives with them and accepts their complexity, act in constructive harmony rather than leading him down some evil path beyond his control. In my experience, existing fully as a unique human being is not a bad process at all. A more appropriate name would be “a positive, constructive, realistic, trustworthy process.” To accept yourself as you are, Rogers suggests following several rules. .“Away from the word “should.” “Some individuals, with the “help” of their parents, have so deeply imbibed the concept “I should be good” or “I should be good” that it is only through a huge internal struggle that they move away from this goal.” ."Away from meeting expectations." “One of my patients said with great fervor: “For so long I tried to live according to what was meaningful to other people, but to me it really didn’t make any sense! I felt like I was so much more in some ways.” He tried to get away from that - to be what others wanted him to be.” (1, p. 218) ."Belief in your Self." “El Greco, looking at one of his early works, must have realized that “good” artists do not paint like that. But he trusted his own experience of life, the process of his feeling, enough to be able to continue to express his own unique perception of the world. He probably could have said, “Good artists don’t write like that, but that’s how I write.” Or take an example from another area. Ernest Hemingway, of course, recognized that “good writers don’t write like that.” But fortunately, he strove to be Hemingway, to be himself, and not to conform to someone else's idea of a good writer. Einstein, too, seems to have been unusually oblivious to the fact that good physicists do not think like him. Instead of leaving science because of insufficient education in physics, he simply strived to become Einstein, to think in his own way, to be himself as deeply and sincerely as possible." (1, p. 234) ."A positive attitude towards yourself." “One of the important end goals of psychotherapy is for the individual to feel that he likes himself, to truly value himself as a whole functioning being. This creates a feeling of spontaneous free pleasure, a primitive joy of life, similar to that which arises in a lamb grazing in a meadow or in a dolphin frolicking in the water.” (1, p. 131) Rogers also points out that the therapist's acceptance of the client helps to increase the client's level of self-acceptance. “I have often used the term “acceptance” to describe this aspect of the psychotherapeutic climate. It includes both a sense of acceptance of the negative, “bad,” painful, frightening, and abnormal feelings expressed by the client, as well as the expression of “good,” positive, mature, trusting, and social feelings. It involves accepting and liking the client as an independent person; allows him to have his own feelings and experiences and find his own meanings in them. The acquisition of meaningful knowledge is only possible to the extent that the therapist can create a safe climate of unconditional positive regard.” (160) “By acceptance I mean a warm disposition towards him as a person of unconditional value, independent of his condition, behavior or feelings. This means that you like him, you respect him as a human being and you want him to feel your way. This means that you accept and respect the full range of his attitude towards what is happening at the moment, regardless of whether this attitude is positive or negative, whether it contradicts his previous attitude or not. This acceptance of every changing part of the other person's inner world creates for him a feeling of warmth and security in his relationship with you, and the feeling of security that comes from love and respect, it seems to me, is a very important part of a helping relationship. (20-21) “In various articles and studies concerning the problems of client-centered psychotherapy, self-acceptance has been highlighted as one of the directions and results of psychotherapy. We have proven the fact that in the case of successful psychotherapy, a negative attitude towards oneself is weakened, and a positive one increases. We measured incremental increases in self-acceptance and found increases in correlated acceptance of others. However, after studying this statement and comparing it with data from our recent clients, I feel that it is not entirely true. The client not only accepts himself (this phrase can also mean dissatisfied, reluctant acceptance of something inevitable), but also begins to like himself. This is not narcissism combined with bragging and not narcissism with pretension, this is a rather calm self-satisfaction from the fact that you are you.” (48) Thus, Carl Rogers studied the problem of self-acceptance in detail. He described the process of developing self-acceptance in a child under the influence of parents, identified the relationship between self-acceptance of an individual and the acceptance of others, and determined the role of self-acceptance for successful, developmental communication and psychotherapeutic practice. 3.2 The problem of self-acceptance in Abraham Maslow’s theory
Another outstanding representative of the humanistic trend in psychology, who in his works addressed the problem of self-acceptance, was Abraham Maslow. This is how Maslow defines the concept of acceptance in general: “Acceptance: a positive attitude. In moments of immersion in the “here-and-now” and self-forgetfulness, we tend to understand “positive” in another sense, namely, to refuse to criticize what we encounter (its editing, selection, correction, improvement, discarding, evaluation, manifestations of skepticism and doubt towards him). In other words, we accept it instead of rejecting or taking it away. The absence of barriers in relation to the subject of attention means that we, as it were, allow it to pour out on us. We allow him to go his own way, to be himself. Perhaps we even approve of him being what he is. This attitude facilitates the Taoist approach in the sense of modesty, non-interference, receptivity.” In Maslow's theory, a developed capacity for self-acceptance is one of the essential characteristics of a healthy personality: “A more developed ability to accept oneself, others and the world as a whole as they really are.” “Most psychotherapists (who stand in the positions of insight, revealing, non-authoritarian, Taoist therapy), no matter what school they belong to, will even today (if you call them to a conversation about the ultimate goals of psychotherapy) talk about a fully human, authentic, self-actualizing, individualized personality or about some approximation to it - both in the descriptive sense and in the sense of an ideal, abstract concept. In detail, there are usually some or all of the underlying values behind this, such as honesty (value 1), good behavior (value 2), integration (value 4), spontaneity (value 5), moving towards fullest development and maturity, harmonization of potentials (values 7, 8, 9), being who the individual essentially is (value 10), being everything that the individual can be, and accepting his deep Self in all its aspects (value 11), relaxed, easy functioning (value 12), capacity for play and enjoyment (value 13), independence, autonomy and self-determination (value 14). I doubt that any psychotherapist would seriously object to any of these values, although some might want to add to the list.” Maslow studied the influence of a person’s acceptance of some of his internal properties on his relationship with the outside world. He describes this phenomenon using the example of the problem of men accepting their femininity. “A man who fights within himself against all the qualities that he and his culture define as feminine will fight against the same qualities in the outside world, especially if his culture, as often happens, values masculinity above feminine. Whether we are talking about emotionality, or illogicality, or dependence, or love of colors, or tenderness towards children - a man will be afraid of this in himself, fight it and try to have the opposite qualities. He will be inclined to fight against “feminine” qualities in the outside world, rejecting them, attributing them exclusively to women, etc. Homosexual men who make requests and pester other men are very often brutally beaten by them. Most likely, this is explained by the fact that the latter are afraid of being seduced. This conclusion is certainly supported by the fact that beatings often occur after homosexual acts. What we see here is an extreme dichotomization, an “either/or”, subject to the Aristotelian logic of thinking of the type that K. Goldstein, A. Adler, A. Korzybski and others considered so dangerous. As a psychologist, I would express the same idea this way: dichotomization means pathology; pathology means dichotomization. A man who believes that one can either be a man in everything, or a woman and nothing but a woman, is doomed to struggle with himself and to eternal alienation from women. To the extent that he learns about the facts of psychological "bisexuality" and begins to understand the arbitrariness of definitions built on the principle of "either/or" and the painful nature of the process of dichotomization; to the extent that he discovers that different entities can merge and unite within a single structure, without necessarily being antagonistic and excluding each other, - to that extent he will become a more integral person, accepting the feminine principle within himself (“Anima ", as K. Jung called it) and enjoying it. If he can come to terms with the feminine principle within himself, then he will be able to do this in relation to women in the outside world, he will begin to understand them better, will be less contradictory in his attitude towards them and, moreover, will begin to admire them, understanding how much their femininity superior to its own much weaker variant. Of course, it is easier to communicate with a friend whom you value and understand than with a mysterious enemy who inspires fear and arouses resentment. If you want to make friends with some area of the outside world, it would be good to make friends with that part of it that is inside you. I do not want to argue here that one process necessarily precedes the other. They are parallel, and therefore we can start from the other end: accepting something in the outer world can help achieve acceptance of it in the inner world.” Self-acceptance is also considered by Maslow in connection with the study of such phenomena as mystical experiences and peak experiences. In this case, self-acceptance is considered as biological authenticity - identifying oneself with nature, merging with it, which can subsequently lead to a person achieving peak experiences of a special kind. “In other words, in a certain sense, man is like nature. When we talk about his merging with nature, it is possible that this is partly what we mean. It is possible that his awe of nature (perceiving it as true, good, beautiful, etc.) will one day be understood as a certain self-acceptance or self-experience, as a way of being himself and fully capable, a way of being in his home, some biological authenticity, "biological mysticism". We can probably consider the mystical or ultimate merging not simply as a communion with what is most worthy of love, but also as a merging with what is, since a person belongs to it, is a genuine part of it, is, as it were, a member of the family. This biological or evolutionary version of the mystical or peak experience - which is perhaps no different from spiritual or religious experience - reminds us again that we must necessarily outgrow the outdated use of the term "higher" as opposed to "lower." ", or "deep". The “highest” experience - a joyful fusion with the absolute, accessible to man - can simultaneously be considered as the deepest experience of our true personal animality and belonging to the species, the acceptance of our deep biological nature as isomorphic to nature as a whole. Maslow also considered the biological aspect of self-acceptance. “Individual human biology is undoubtedly an integral part of the “Real Self.” To be oneself, to be natural or spontaneous, to be authentic, to express one's own identity - all these are biological formulations, since they imply the acceptance of one's constitutional, temperamental, anatomical, neurological, hormonal and instinctual-motivational nature. Another issue Maslow addressed self-acceptance was transcendence. One of the options for understanding transcendence that he identified was transcendence as acceptance of one’s own past: “There are two possible attitudes towards one’s past. One of them can be called transcendental. The person following it is capable of existential knowledge of his own past. This past can be embraced and accepted into the person's present self. This means complete acceptance. This means forgiveness of the Self, achieved through understanding it. This means overcoming remorse, regret, guilt, shame, embarrassment, etc. This attitude differs from looking at the past as something that happened to a person over which he was powerless, as a set of situations in which he was only passive and entirely dependent on external factors. In a way, it's about taking responsibility for your past. It means “to become a subject and to be a subject.” Thus, the concept of personal self-acceptance was considered by Maslow in various aspects and in connection with many different problems, such as transcendence, peak experiences, psychological health, etc. The scientist attached great importance to it, since he considered the developed ability for self-acceptance to be one of the main criteria of mental health, and also pointed out the influence of certain aspects of self-acceptance on the functioning of the individual as a whole and its relationship with the outside world. 4. General and specific in theoretical approaches to self-acceptance
All of these approaches have much in common in understanding the problem of self-acceptance. In the theories of S. Freud, K. Horney, A. Bandura and K. Rogers, the degree of self-acceptance of an individual depends on the relationship between his real self and his ideal self, which is created by the superego under the influence of parents. The greater the gap between them, the more difficult it is for individuals to accept themselves. Also, the concepts of Freud, Horney and Rogers speak of the decisive role of the parents’ attitude towards the child in the process of forming his ability to self-acceptance. This happens, firstly, because it is the parents who have the greatest influence on his superego, and secondly, because the child constantly needs love, acceptance and approval from them, therefore he is ready for almost any changes in his behavior in order to achieve this. And this leads to the fact that the child tries to suppress thoughts, feelings and desires that interfere with the achievement of this goal, as a result of which he ceases to be himself and constantly strives to meet the expectations of other people, first his parents, and later, with growing up and the expansion of social connections, significant others with whom he enters into social relationships. Similar are the ideas about achieving self-acceptance in existentialism, Erikson's ego psychology, Rogers' humanistic psychology and Orlov's concept. The listed approaches speak of the need to give up the desire to meet the expectations of other people and strive to be yourself, to know and accept your true essence. This is achieved through self-confidence, openness to experiences, the ability to accept those manifestations of one’s personality that do not correspond to the ideal self-image, and also understand the values of one’s own unique individuality. What is common in the theories of K. Rogers and A.B. Orlov is that they recognize the connection of self-acceptance with congruence, empathy, and acceptance of other people. In the concept of A.B. Orlov also talks about the relationship between self-acceptance and authenticity. And finally, almost all of the authors mentioned agree that self-acceptance is a necessary condition for the mental health of an individual, its full functioning and development. The existential and humanistic approach also talks about the therapeutic properties of self-acceptance. Since by accepting his undesirable traits, a person acknowledges their presence and thus opens them to work and change. Otherwise, he, resorting to the mechanisms of denial and repression, behaves as if these traits are absent and, therefore, cannot influence them in any way. Conclusion
Based on the study of the available literature on the problem of personality self-acceptance, the following conclusions can be drawn: )self-acceptance is a nuclear formation of the personality structure, which manifests itself in a positive emotional-value attitude towards oneself, adequate self-esteem, self-understanding, reflection of one’s inner world and one’s actions, self-respect and acceptance of other people, awareness of the value of oneself, one’s inner world. )self-acceptance of an individual is formed in childhood under the influence of parents (S. Freud, K. Horney, K. Rogers); )the degree of self-acceptance of an individual depends on the relationship between the real self and the ideal self; the larger the gap between them, the more difficult it is for a person to accept himself (S. Freud, K. Horney, A. Bandura, K. Rogers); )the concept of self-acceptance is closely related to such concepts as identity, authenticity, congruence and personification; )self-acceptance of an individual is achieved through openness to experiences, understanding the value of one’s own individuality, as well as refusal to meet the expectations of others (V. Frankl, J. Bugental, K. Rogers); )self-acceptance is a necessary condition for the psychological health of the individual and an integral quality of a self-actualizing person (V. Frankl, J. Bugental, K. Rogers, A. Maslow). List of sources used
1Kjell, L. Personality Theories / ed. L. Kjell, D. Ziegler. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2007. - 606 p. 2Horney, K. Neurosis and personal growth. The struggle for self-realization / K. Horney. - St. Petersburg: East European Institute of Psychoanalysis and BSK, 1997. - 316 p. Rogers, K. Client-centered psychotherapy: theory, modern practice and application / K. Rogers. - Moscow: Psychotherapy, 2007. - 560 p. Frankl, V. Man in search of meaning / V. Frankl. - M.: Progress, 1990. - 366 p. Yalom, I. Existential psychotherapy / I. Yalom. - M.: Klass, 1999. - 576 p. Bugental, The Art of a Psychotherapist / J. Bugental - St. Petersburg: Peter, 1976. - 304 p. May R. Love and will / R. May - M.: “Refl-book”; K.: “Vakler”, 1997. - 384 p.
It's a perfect paradox. Everything seems quite normal; no crime was intended; no corpse, no culprit. We see only the sun, which rises and sets as it should. What happened? He was rejected, not only by others, but also by himself. (In essence, he was left without an “I.”) What did he lose? Just one true and vital part of himself: a sense of self-confidence, which is nothing more than his ability to develop, his root system. But, alas, he is alive. “Life” goes on, he must live too. From the moment he renounced himself, he, without knowing it, began to create and maintain a pseudo-self to the extent that he abandoned the real self. But this is a very convenient thing - “I” without desires. It will be loved (or feared) when it should be despised, it will be strong where in reality it is weak; it will perform actions (although they will be only parodies of actions) not for pleasure, but for the sake of survival: not simply because it wants to perform an action, but because it must obey. Such necessity is not life (not his life), but a defense mechanism against death. But it is also a mechanism of death. From now on he will be torn apart by obsessive (unconscious) desiresor paralyze (unconscious) conflicts, every action will cross out his being, his integrity; and all this time he will wear a mask normal person, and will be expected to behave accordingly!
In short, I see that we become neurotic, in search of or in attempts to protect the pseudo-self, the self-system; We are neurotics to the extent that we are deprived of our “I.”
Games and exercises to develop self-acceptance and acceptance of a communication partner in the “child-child” dyad
Game "Who am I?"
Goal: expand children’s self-image and develop self-acceptance.
Description
It is necessary to give several answers to the question: “Who am I?” Self-characteristics can relate to physical qualities (appearance, body features), psychological characteristics, social roles, etc. Children sit in a circle and take turns trying to give as many answers as possible (“I’m a person,” “I’m a girl,” “I’m a boy,” “I am a daughter”, “I am a sister”, “I am my mother’s assistant”, etc.).
"Finish the sentence"
Goal: to teach children to be aware of their affections, likes, hobbies and talk about them.
Description
Children stand in a circle. The leader is a teacher, he has a ball in his hands. He starts a sentence and throws the ball, the child finishes the sentence and throws the ball to the adult.
My favourite game - …
My favorite toy - …
My favourite hobby - …
My best friend (girlfriend) is...
My favorite song - …
My favorite season - …
My favorite fairy tale is...
My favorite holiday is...
My favorite cartoon is...
My favorite flower is... etc.
"In the center of the circle"
Goal: to teach children to say kind words to others, to give each child the opportunity to feel attention and friendly support.
Description
Children sit in a circle on the carpet or on chairs. In the center is a player who is assigned to teachers or selected using a counting rhyme. The children’s task is to say various pleasant words to those in the center of the circle: “You are polite and kind,” “I love to play with you.”
It is recommended to play this game over a long period so that each child has the opportunity to be in the center of the circle.
"Words of congratulations and wishes"
Goal: to develop in children a positive attitude towards another child, the ability to speak kind words and wishes to him.
Description
Children are divided into pairs. An adult sets a congratulation situation for each pair (to congratulate them on their New Year, birthday, etc.). The children discuss what they will say. Then one child says congratulations, the other complements it with wishes. The rest of the children listen and evaluate.
Option: Children are divided into pairs using cut-out greeting cards.
"Describe a friend"
Goal: to teach children to pay attention to the appearance and individual characteristics of another person, to accept him as he is.
Description
Using a counting rhyme or some kind of game, for example, “Find the couple with your eyes,” the children are divided into pairs. They stand with their backs to each other and take turns describing the height, face, hair color, clothes of their partner. The adult pays attention to the accuracy of the description.
Games and exercises for the ability to make contact, conduct dialogue, and win over
“What can you ask when we meet?”
Goal: teach children to make contact.
Description
Children sit in a circle. The presenter has a relay race: a flower, an autumn leaf, a beautiful stick. The baton passes from hand to hand. The players’ task is to formulate a question that can be asked to an acquaintance when meeting after the words of greeting, and then answer it. One child asks a question, the other answers: “How are you living?”, “What’s new?” etc. You cannot repeat questions twice.
"Let's get to know each other better"
Goal: to teach children to ask questions to their interlocutor, remember information about him, and formulate and express their thoughts in detail.
Description
An adult offers the children a box of cut-out postcards. With the help of a postcard, the player finds a partner. Each couple chooses a place where they can talk calmly. It is suggested that you discuss questions for each other in advance: you can find out who your partner lives with, whether he has brothers and sisters, who he is friends with, what he likes to do. First one child asks questions, then another. At the signal, everyone sits in a circle. One of the children stands behind the other, putting his hands on his shoulders, and begins to tell everything he remembers about him. At the next signal, children in pairs change roles.
"Cobweb"
Goal: to develop the ability to make contact, talk about themselves, to give children the opportunity to gain experience of feeling the cohesion of a group.
Description
Children sit in a circle. The teacher has a ball of thread in his hands. He starts the game with the words: “My name is... I really like listening to music and reading books.” The teacher holds the free end of the thread in his hand, and hands the ball to the child and invites him to say his name, tell something about himself, what he does best, what he likes to do, etc. The child winds the thread around his finger and passes it on. Thus, the children find themselves connected by one thread. At the end of the game, each child returns the thread to the previous one, calling him by name.
"Ball Game"
Goal: teach children to call each other by name.
Description
The game has several options.
1st option: children stand in a circle and throw the ball to each other, calling by name the person to whom the ball is intended. Adults draw children's attention to the fact that they need to try to throw the ball as accurately as possible so that it can be easily caught, and when passing the ball, look into the child's eyes.
2nd option: The presenter goes to the center of the circle, throws the ball and shouts: “Sasha!” The player runs up and catches the ball, etc. If there are children in the group with the same names, you can agree on a treatment using different variations of names.
"Sasha - Natasha - Julia"
Goal: to teach children to address each other by name and remember names.
Description
Children stand in a circle. The teacher has a ball in his hands. The teacher, starting the game, names the route of throwing the ball after the children’s names: “Sasha - Natasha - Yulia.” The last participant named names the new three players. If there are children in the group with the same names, you can agree to use other name options.
"Polite words"
Goal: to teach children to address other children by name, to use words of politeness, gratitude, apology, greeting, and farewell in communication.
Description
The game is played with a ball. Children stand in a circle and throw a ball to each other, saying polite words: thanks (“Thank you, Sasha”, “Lenochka, thank you”), greetings (“Hello, Tanya”, “Good afternoon, Katya”), apologies (“Sorry , Seryozha”, “Sorry, Lenya”), farewells (goodbye, see you, bye, good night).
“It’s possible - it’s not possible”
Goal: to teach children to evaluate the effectiveness of various methods of communication.
Description
Children have two cards in their hands: green and red. Green means “it’s possible, it’s acceptable, it’s accepted,” red means “it’s not possible, it’s wrong, it’s not accepted.” The teacher describes different interaction situations, and the children evaluate them using cards and justify their opinions. For example, is it possible to interrupt the speaker? Is it acceptable to wave your arms while talking? Do I need to thank you for a service rendered?
“A new boy has joined the group”
Goal: to develop initiative in children when making contact, to teach a friendly attitude towards others.
Description
A pair of players is selected. The situation of a new boy or girl joining the group is played out. The rest of the participants observe and, at the end of the skit, discuss the effectiveness of the players’ communication.
Games to develop the ability to listen and hear a partner
"Telling a fairy tale"
Description
Children sit in a circle. The adult offers to choose a fairy tale that is well known to everyone. You can briefly recall its contents. Participants tell a fairy tale, passing the baton to each other - they name one sentence from this fairy tale.
"Fish - Bird - Beast"
Goal: to teach children to listen carefully to each other.
Description
Children sit in a circle and take turns naming one animal at a time in a certain order: fish, bird, beast. For example, perch, sparrow, wolf. Whoever makes a mistake leaves the game. The adult makes sure that the names of the animals are not repeated.
"Broken phone"
Goal: to teach children to listen carefully to others.
Description
A presenter is selected. All players sit on chairs placed in a row. The presenter quietly (in the ear) says a word to the person sitting next to him, he passes it on to his neighbor, etc. The word reaches the last player, who announces it to everyone. If it matches the leader’s word, then the phone is fixed. If an error occurs, the presenter asks everyone in turn, starting with the last one, what word they heard. Whoever makes a mistake takes the place of the last in the row.
"Drawing to order"
Goal: to develop the ability to listen, hear and understand another child.
Description
Children are divided into pairs and sit opposite each other. One plays the role of the artist, the other – the customer. There is a screen in the center of the table. The customer tells the artist what needs to be drawn (color, shape, size, location in space, etc.). The artist paints behind a screen, clarifying unclear points with the customer. The artist gives the finished drawing to the customer. Then the children change roles.
Games for using and understanding gestures, postures, pantomimes
"Let's greet each other without words"
Goal: to develop the ability to use gesture and posture in communication.
Description
Using a counting rhyme or the game “Find your partner by the eyes,” children are divided into pairs. Each couple comes up with their own way of greeting without words (shake each other's hand, wave, nod their head, hug, etc.). Then everyone gathers in a circle and the couples take turns demonstrating their way of greeting.
"Tell poems with your hands"
Goal: develop a sense of self-confidence, learn to use gesture and pantomime.
Description
Poems are selected that can be “recited with your hands” or “with your whole body.” An adult offers to listen to a poem. Then he reads it again, and the children tell it with their body language.
"Spectators and Actors"
Goal: to train children in the use of various means of communication (postures, facial expressions, pantomimes, etc.).
Description
Children are divided into subgroups of 5-6 people. Players occupy a comfortable place indoors. Each subgroup conceives a fairy tale (an excerpt from it), rehearses, and then shows it without words. At this time, children from other subgroups act as spectators. Spectators guess the fairy tale and note the expressiveness of the actors' performances.
"Sculptor and Clay"
Goal: to teach children to help each other take certain poses, to train the expressiveness of poses.
Description
A pair is selected: one child is a “sculptor”, the other is “clay”. The sculptor tries to shape the clay into whatever shape he wants. The clay tries to take the shape that the sculptor gives it. The finished sculpture freezes. The rest of the children watch and give it a name.
"Talking Through Glass"
Goal: to teach children to understand non-verbal means of communication, to develop attentiveness and observation.
Description
Children are offered a situation of communication with a peer who is leaving on a train and wants to say something. The content of the situation being played out is as follows.
1. A leaving child asks to call him.
2. The child asks you to write him a letter.
3. Shows that it is hot (cold) in the carriage.
4. Eats ice cream and invites the children to buy it for themselves.
5. Opens a bottle of drink and drinks, offering the children the same.
6. He conveys that the mourners can already go home.
Skin-to-skin games and exercises
"Let's join hands, friends"
Goal: to teach children to feel the touch of another person.
Description
The teacher and children stand in a circle at a short distance from each other, arms along the body. You need to hold hands, but not immediately, but one by one. The adult begins: he offers his hand to the child standing next to him. After the child takes the hand of an adult, he takes the hand of a neighbor. Gradually the circle closes. The adult pays attention to the sequence of actions: first the neighbor takes your hand, and then you offer your free hand to the person standing on the other side.
"Say hello with your eyes closed"
Goal: to give children the opportunity to feel that they belong to a group, the closeness and warmth of another person.
Description
Children sit on the carpet in a circle. The teacher suggests closing your eyes: “Now I will touch the one sitting to my right. He will accept my greeting and in the same way touch his neighbor, conveying greetings to him, and so on, until my greeting returns to me again from the other side.” An adult can offer various greetings: putting a hand on the shoulder, taking the hand, patting the back.
"Thank you"
Goal: to teach children to express a positive attitude towards others, to develop a sense of belonging to a group.
Description
Children stand in a circle and the adult starts the game. He extends his hand to the one on the left and says: “Thank you, it was a pleasure to play with you in class.” The one whose name was called turns to the neighbor with words of gratitude and takes his hand in his own, and so on until the circle is completed.
"Drawing on the back"
Goal: to develop tactile sensitivity and the ability to develop tactile imagery.
Description
Children are divided into pairs. One child stands in front of the other. The person standing behind “draws” an image with his index finger on the back of the person standing in front: a house, the sun, a Christmas tree, a ladder, etc. The child determines what is drawn, then the children change places.
"Ring"
Goal: create a positive emotional mood, help children get in touch.
Description
The leader has a small object in his hands. Participants stand in a row, holding their palms in a “boat” position in front of them. The leader goes through the entire row, placing his palms in the palms of each participant. At the same time, he quietly leaves this object in someone’s hands. Having passed everyone, the leader says: “Ring, ring, go out onto the porch.” The owner of the ring’s task is to run forward. The task of everyone else is to try not to let the participant with the ring leave the row.
Games to develop empathy
"Mirror of Mood"
Goal: to develop one of the mechanisms of penetration into the inner world of another person - motor enactment. Teach children to reproduce some components of their partner’s expressive behavior.
Description
The exercise is performed in pairs. Children stand facing each other. One child plays the role of a mirror, the other - the one who looks in the mirror. The latter tries to reflect various states with the help of facial expressions, gestures, and poses: a person is sad, happy, smiling, surprised, etc., and the “mirror” repeats the expressive movements of the partner.
"Guess the Mood"
Goal: to teach children to recognize a person’s emotional state by facial expressions, gestures, postures, location in space
Description
Children sit in a circle. An adult has a box of photographs in his hands. They lie so that the images are not visible. The box passes from hand to hand, everyone takes one photograph, examines it, shows it to others and answers the questions: “Who is shown in the photo?”, “What is the person’s mood?”, “How did you determine his mood?”, “Why?” could this mood arise?").
"Have compassion for the other"
Goal: to develop in children the ability to put themselves in the place of another, to express sympathy and empathy.
Description
The exercise is performed in pairs. An adult offers a variety of situations.
1. The girl fell and was in pain (one child, using facial expressions, gestures, and posture, expresses the girl’s emotional state, the other tries to find kind words, gestures, and provides assistance).
2. The two friends haven’t seen each other for a long time. They dream of meeting (the task is given to show how two friends meet after a long separation).
3. The baby is lost and crying, you need to show how an older child should behave.
4. The girl was offended. Her friend took pity on her (show how a friend acts).
5. Children found a hungry kitten on the street (you need to show what children would do).
6. A friend treats you to candy (one child has a bag of imaginary candy, he hands it to the other, who takes the candy and thanks).
Pairs take turns showing sketches, the rest of the children watch and evaluate.
"Finish the sentence"
Goal: to teach children to understand the feelings and experiences of another person.
Description
An adult holds a relay race. He starts the sentence, and the child finishes and returns the baton to the adult.
- My mother loves...
- My dad is happy when...
– My friend is in a good mood when...
- Mom gets angry if...
- My friend is afraid...
– Our teacher is upset if...
– My brother (sister) rejoices when...
"Evil Dragon"
Goal: to teach children to experience emotional states together, to promote the unification of children, and the desire to support each other.
Description
An adult brings to the group several large cardboard boxes that could fit 2-3 children. At the beginning of the game, the teacher invites children to become gnomes living in small houses. When the children take their places in the box houses, the adult tells them: “There is a big problem in our country: every night a big evil dragon flies in and takes the gnomes to his castle on the mountain. There is only one way to escape from it: when dusk falls on the city, the gnomes hide in their houses, sit there hugging each other and persuade each other not to be afraid, console and stroke each other. The dragon cannot stand affectionate and kind words, and when he hears them, he tries to quickly fly through this house and find another from which such words are not heard.
So, the last rays of the sun are slowly fading, dusk is falling on the city, and the gnomes are rushing to hide in their houses and hug each other tightly.”
The teacher walks between houses, pretending to be a dragon, howls intimidatingly, threatens, stopping at each house, looking inside. Having made sure that the children inside the house support and console each other, he moves on to the next one.
Games to develop group interaction skills
"The Dragon Bites Its Tail"
Goal: develop group interaction skills.
Description
Children stand one after another and firmly hold the shoulders of the person in front. The first child is the “head of the dragon”, the last is the “tail of the dragon”. The head tries to catch the tail, but it dodges it. During the game, the roles change: the child who, in the role of the tail, did not allow himself to be caught, becomes the head. If he is caught, he stands in the middle.
"We walk, walk, walk"
Goal: to train children in coordination of actions and to develop attention.
Description
Children move scatteredly around the group, saying: “We walk, walk, walk...” After certain periods of time, the teacher gives commands: “Heap” - children join their hands above their heads; “Hump” - children squat with their hands on their heads; “Path” - they line up one after another as they move, placing their hands on the shoulders of the person in front.
“Country X” (collective drawing)
Goal: providing every child with the opportunity to participate in common activities, developing group interaction skills.
Description
This activity involves children drawing together on a large sheet of paper. Children are invited to come up with their own country together, give it a name and draw it. Each child draws what he wants in the overall picture. An adult can also participate in general drawing.
"Needle and thread"
Goal: relieving psychological stress, improving group interaction skills.
Description
Children stand one after another and hold tightly to the waist. The first child – the “needle” – runs, changing direction. The others follow him, trying not to break the thread.
"Stories from the Miracle Bag"
Goal: to teach children to interact and develop skills in joint creative activity.
Description
The teacher has a bag in his hands. It contains object pictures or everyday items, small toys. Children, having previously divided into pairs, take out an object or picture for themselves. A couple of players find a convenient place and come up with a short story that would involve both subjects, sometimes not related to each other. After a certain time, the children gather in a circle, and each pair tells their story.
Games to resolve conflicts
"Argument"
Goal: to teach children to analyze actions, find the cause of the conflict, differentiate opposing emotional experiences (friendliness and hostility); introduce children to constructive ways to resolve conflict situations. And also promote their absorption and use.
Description
To play you need a “magic plate” and a picture of two girls. The teacher turns the children to a magic plate on which there is a picture of two girls: “Children, I want to introduce you to two friends: Olya and Lena. But look at the expression on their faces: what do you think happened there? (We quarreled).
My friend and I had a fight
And they sat down in the corners.
It's very boring without each other,
We need to make peace.
I didn't offend her -
I just held the teddy bear
Just ran away with the teddy bear
And she said: “I won’t give it up” (A. Kuznetsova)
Issues for discussion
- Think and tell me, why did the girls quarrel?
-Have you ever quarreled with your friends? Because of which?
- How do those who quarrel feel?
- Is it possible to do without quarrels?
- Think about how girls can make peace?
After listening to the answers, the teacher suggests one of the ways of reconciliation. The author ended his poem like this:
I'll give her a teddy bear and apologize.
I'll give her a ball, give her a tram
And I’ll say: “Let’s play!”
The teacher focuses on the fact that the culprit of the quarrel must admit his guilt.
"Modeling a conflict situation"
Goal: developing skills to respond in a conflict situation, acquiring the ability to take the position of another, recognize his feelings and experiences.
Description
If there is a quarrel or fight in the group, you can sort out this situation in a circle by inviting literary characters known to children, for example, Dunno and Donut. In front of the children, the guests act out a quarrel similar to the one that happened in the group, and then ask the children to reconcile them. Children offer various ways out of conflict. You can divide the children into two groups, acting on the side of each of the characters, or give the children the opportunity to choose for themselves whose interests to defend.
During such discussions, you can play out other situations in which conflicts most often arise in the group. How to react if your friend doesn’t give you the toy you need? What to do if you are teased? What to do if you were pushed and you fell? Etc.
In addition, you can invite children to organize a theater, asking them to act out situations known from children's books, for example, “How did Malvina quarrel with Pinocchio?” However, before staging such a skit, children should discuss why the characters behaved this way and not otherwise. It is necessary that children try to put themselves in the place of fairy-tale characters and answer the questions: “What did Pinocchio feel when Malvina put him in the closet?”, “What did Malvina feel when she had to punish Pinocchio?” and etc.
"Reconciliation"
Goal: to teach children non-violent ways to resolve conflict situations.
Description
The teacher addresses the children: “In life, they often try to solve their problems according to the principle of “an eye for an eye, an eye for an eye.” When someone offends us, we respond with even stronger offense. If someone threatens us, we also respond with a threat and thereby intensify our conflicts. In many cases, it is much more useful to take a step back, admit your share of responsibility for the occurrence of a quarrel or fight, and shake hands with each other as a sign of reconciliation.
Phil and Piggy (toys) will help us in this game. Some of you will speak in the words of Fili, and the other - Piggy. Now we’ll try to play out a quarrel between them, for example, over a book that Phil brought to the group.”
Children act out a quarrel between the characters.
Educator: “Well, now Filya and Khryusha are not friends, they sit in different corners of the room and don’t talk. Guys, let's help them make peace. Suggest how this can be done."
Children offer options: return the book, place the dolls next to each other, etc.
Educator: “Yes, guys, you are right. In this situation, you can do without a quarrel. I suggest you play out the scene differently: let Piggy invite Fila to read a book together or take turns, rather than take it away from his hands, or offer something of his own for a while: a typewriter, a set of pencils.”
Children act out the scene in a new way.
Educator: “And now Filya and Khryusha must make peace, ask each other for forgiveness for offending each other, and shake hands with each other as a sign of reconciliation.”
Issues for discussion
– Was it difficult for you to forgive another? How did that make you feel?
– What happens when you are angry with someone?
– Do you think forgiveness is a sign of strength or a sign of weakness?
– Why is it so important to forgive others?
Sketch with the content of a problem situation
Goal: to teach children to analyze actions, to promote the acquisition of rules of behavior in difficult situations.
Description
The teacher addresses the children: “Guys, today during a walk there was a quarrel between two girls. Now I’ll ask Natasha and Katya to role-play the situation that arose during the walk.”
The girls played with the ball. The ball rolled into the puddle. Katya wanted to get it, but she couldn’t stay on her feet and fell into a puddle. Natasha began to laugh, and Katya began to cry loudly.
Issues for discussion
- Why did Katya cry?
– Did Natasha do the right thing?
– What would you do in her place?
- Let's help the girls make peace?
At the end of the conversation, the teacher makes a generalization: “If you are the culprit of the quarrel, then be able to admit your guilt. Magic words will help you with this: “Sorry,” “Let me help you,” “Let’s play together.” Smile more often and you won’t have to quarrel.”
"Sweet Problem"
Goal: to teach children to solve small problems through negotiations, make joint decisions, and refuse quick solutions to problems in their own favor.
Description
For this game, each child will need one cookie. And each pair of children gets one napkin.
Educator: “Children, sit in a circle. The game we have to play is related to sweets. To get cookies, we first need to choose a partner and solve one problem with him.
Sit opposite each other and look into each other's eyes. There is a cookie between you on a napkin; please don’t touch it for now. There is one problem with this game: the cookie can only be obtained by someone whose partner voluntarily refuses the cookie and gives it to you. This is a rule that cannot be broken. You can start talking now, but you can’t take cookies without your partner’s consent.”
The teacher waits for the pairs to make a decision and observes how they act.
Educator: “And now I will give each pair one more cookie. Discuss what you will do with the cookies this time.”
The teacher observes the children and in this case notes that the children act differently.
Issues for discussion
- Children, which of you gave the cookies to your friend? Tell me, how did you feel?
– Who wanted the cookies to stay with him? What did you do for this?
– What do you expect when you interact politely with someone?
– Was every child treated fairly in this game?
– Who took the least time to come to an agreement?
– How else can you come to a common opinion?
– What arguments did you give to get your partner to agree to give the cookies?
"Peace Rug"
Goal: to teach children negotiation and discussion strategies for resolving conflicts in a group. The presence of such a peace rug in a group encourages children to give up fights and arguments, replacing them by discussing problems with each other.
Description
To play, you need a piece of thin blanket or fabric measuring 90*150 cm or a soft rug of the same size, felt-tip pens, glue, glitter, beads, colored buttons - everything you might need to decorate the scenery.
Educator: “Guys, tell me what you are arguing about with each other? How do you feel after such an argument? What do you think can happen if different opinions clash in a dispute?
Today I brought you a rug that will become our “peace rug.” Once a dispute arises, the opponents can sit down and talk to each other so as to find a way to resolve the conflict peacefully. Let's see what happens."
The teacher places a rug in the center of the room, and on it a beautiful picture book or toy.
“Imagine that Katya and Sveta want to take this toy, but there is only one, and there are two girls. The two of them will sit down on the peace mat, and I will be there to help them discuss their problem. None of them has the right to take a toy just like that. Maybe one of the guys has a suggestion on how this situation could be resolved?”
After a few minutes of discussion, the teacher invites the children to decorate a piece of fabric: “Now you and I can turn this piece of fabric into a “peace rug” for our group. I’ll write the names of all the children in the group on it, and help decorate our rug.”
Over time, children can use the “peace mat” without the help of a teacher; this should be strived for, because Solving problems on your own is the main goal of this game. The Peace Rug gives children confidence and peace, and helps them focus on finding a win-win solution. This is a wonderful symbol of renunciation of verbal and physical aggression.
Issues for discussion
– Why is the “peace rug” so important for us?
– What happens when the strong one wins an argument?
– Why is it unacceptable to use violence in a dispute?
– What do you understand by justice?
The problem of self-acceptance is given the greatest attention in the humanistic approach of Carl Rogers.
According to Rogers' theory, "self" means a process, a system that, by definition, is changing, impermanent. In his reasoning, Rogers relies precisely on this difference and emphasizes the variability and flexibility of the “I.” Based on the concept of the fluid self, Rogers formulated the theory that people are not only capable of personal development and growth, but this tendency is natural and predominant for them. The "I" or "me" concept is a person's understanding of himself based on past life experiences, present events, and hopes for the future.
If the ideal self is very different from the real self, this difference can seriously interfere with the normal healthy functioning of the individual. People suffering from such differences are often simply not ready to see the difference between their ideals and actual actions. For example, some parents say they will do “anything” for their children, but in reality the responsibilities of parenting are a burden to them. Such parents do not fulfill the promises they make to their children. As a result, children become confused. Parents either cannot or do not want to see the difference between their real self and their ideal self.
As a child becomes aware of his or her self, his or her need for love or positive regard increases. “This need in human beings is universal, and in man it is common and stable. For the theory it is not so important whether this need is acquired or innate.” Because children do not separate their personality from their actions, they often respond to praise for doing the right thing as if they themselves were being praised. They react to punishment in the same way as if it were disapproval of their personality as a whole.
Love is so important for a child that “he is guided in his behavior not by how much the experience he acquires supports and strengthens his body, but by the likelihood of receiving maternal love” (1959, p. 225). The child behaves in a way to win love or gain approval, regardless of whether such behavior is normal or not. Children may act contrary to their own interests, seeking first and foremost the favor of others. Theoretically, this situation is not necessary if the child's personality is accepted as a whole and provided that the adult accepts the child's negative feelings, but rejects the behavior that accompanies them. Under such ideal conditions, the child will not be pressured to give up unattractive but natural traits of his personality.
“So we see a basic alienation in man. He is not sincere about himself, about his own organic assessment of experiences and, in order to maintain a positive assessment of other people, he falsifies some of the values he has realized and considers them only from the point of view of attractiveness to others. This is still not a conscious choice, but a completely natural - and tragic - consequence of child development” (1959, p. 226).
Behaviors and attitudes that deny some aspect of the self are called claims of merit. Such demands are considered necessary to feel self-worth and win love. However, they not only interfere with a person’s free behavior, but also interfere with his development and awareness of his own personality; lead to the development of inconsistency and even rigidity of personality.
Such requirements mainly impede correct perception and prevent a person from thinking realistically. These are selective blinders and filters used by those who need the love of others. As children, we adopt certain attitudes and behaviors in order to be worthy of love. We understand that if we accept certain conditions, relationships and behave accordingly, we will be worthy of the love of others. Such complex relationships and actions belong to the area of personality incongruence. In extreme situations, demands for recognition are characterized by the belief that “I should be loved and respected by everyone with whom I come into contact.” Demands for recognition of merit create a discrepancy between the self and the self-concept.
If a child is told, for example, “You have to love your new little sister, otherwise Mom and Dad won’t love you,” then the meaning of such a statement is that he must suppress any sincere negative feelings he feels towards his sister. Only if he manages to hide his ill will and normal manifestations of jealousy, only then will his father and mother continue to love him. If he admits his feelings, he risks losing his parents' love. The solution (which is driven by the demand for recognition) is to deny such feelings and block their perception. This means that the feelings that somehow come to the surface will most likely not correspond to their manifestation. He will probably react like this: “I really love my little sister; I hugged her until she cried,” or “I accidentally tripped her leg and she fell,” or something more universal: “She started it first!”
Rogers writes about the incredible joy that his older brother experienced as soon as the opportunity arose to hit his younger brother for something. Their mother, brother and the future scientist himself were stunned by such cruelty. Later, the brother recalled that he was not particularly angry with the younger one, but this was a rare opportunity, and he wanted to “throw off” as much of the accumulated anger as possible. Acknowledging these feelings and expressing them when they arise is healthier, Rogers says, than denying them or assuming they don't exist.
Thus, we see that, according to Rogers, self-acceptance begins to form in a person from early childhood. It is based on the unconditional love and acceptance of parents. But since very few parents are able to accept their children unconditionally, including those traits that do not suit them, most children from early childhood develop the belief that they will be loved and accepted only when they learn to meet the expectations of others. And to do this, they need to constantly suppress some of their feelings, desires, impulses and thoughts, which ultimately leads to the individual’s inability to self-acceptance.
Rogers has devoted a number of studies to studying the relationship between self-acceptance and acceptance of others.
A body of research that draws on Rogers' theoretical developments concerns the proposition that the more a person accepts himself, the more likely he is to accept others. This connection between self-acceptance and acceptance of others is based on the observation made by Rogers that at the beginning of therapy, clients usually have a negative self-concept - they are unable to accept themselves. However, as these clients become more accepting of themselves, they become more accepting of others. In other words, Rogers proposed that if self-acceptance occurs (that is, if there is little discrepancy between the real and ideal self), then a feeling of acceptance, respect, and value from others emerges. Other theorists have also suggested that attitudes toward oneself are reflected in attitudes toward others. Erich Fromm, for example, argued that self-love and love for others go hand in hand (Fromm, 1956). He further noted that self-dislike is accompanied by significant hostility towards others.
Various studies using college students or therapy recipients have supported the connection between self-acceptance and acceptance of others (Berger, 1955; Suinn, 1961). In terms of Rogers's theory itself, evidence shows that self-acceptance and acceptance of others characterize the parent-child relationship. Coopersmith (1967), for example, conducted a retrospective study of the development of self-esteem in boys aged 10–12 years. He found that parents of boys with high self-esteem were more loving and affectionate and raised their sons without resorting to coercive disciplinary measures such as deprivation of pleasures and isolation. Further, the parents were democratic in the sense that they took into account the child's opinion when making family decisions. Conversely, parents of boys with low self-esteem were found to be more distant, less welcoming, and more likely to use physical punishment for their sons' misbehavior. Similar data have been obtained for girls and their parents (Hales, 1967). Another study tested the hypothesis that there was a significant positive correlation between self-acceptance and child acceptance in a group of young mothers (Medinnus & Curtis, 1963).
The subjects were 56 mothers of children attending a cooperative kindergarten. Two measures of maternal self-acceptance were obtained. The first was obtained using the Bills Index of Adjustment and Values questionnaire, which measures the magnitude of the difference between the “I” and the ideal self. To obtain the second, we used the “Semantic Differential Scale”, consisting of 20 bipolar adjectives, in which the difference between the rating of “I in reality” (the way I am) and “I ideally” (the way I most want to be) was operationally defined as the second dimension characterizing maternal self-acceptance. Numerical expressions of child acceptance were obtained using the same set of bipolar adjectives. The difference between maternal ratings of “my child in reality” (as he is) and “my child in ideal” (as I would most like him to be) was defined as the mother's degree of acceptance of her child.
The correlation between the two values of maternal self-acceptance and the value of child acceptance is shown in Table 1. As can be seen from the table, each of the three correlation coefficients is statistically significant. These results support Rogers' view that mothers who are self-accepting (having positive self-attention) are much more likely to accept their children for who they are than mothers who are not self-accepting. In addition, the results suggest that the range in which a child develops a positive self-image depends on the extent to which his parents are able to accept themselves.”
Table 1. Correlations between maternal self-acceptance and child acceptance.
*p<0,05; ** p <0,01
One of the most important concepts in Rogers' theory related to self-acceptance is congruence.
Rogers does not divide people into adapted or maladjusted, sick and healthy, normal and abnormal; instead, he writes about people's ability to perceive their actual situation. He introduces the term congruence, which refers to the exact correspondence between experience, communication and awareness.
That is, we can say that he views congruence as the ability to adequately perceive and accept one’s own communications, experiences and experiences.
A high degree of congruence implies that communication (what a person tells another), experience (what happens) and awareness (what a person notices) are more or less adequate to each other. The observations of the person himself and any outside observer will coincide when the person has a high degree of congruence.
Young children exhibit a high degree of congruence. They express their feelings so readily and so completely that experience, communication and awareness are almost the same thing for them. If the child is hungry, he declares it. When children are in love or angry, they express their emotions completely and frankly. Perhaps this is the reason that children move from one state to another at such a speed. Adults are prevented from fully expressing their feelings by the emotional baggage of the past, which they feel with each new meeting.
Congruence is well illustrated by the Zen Buddhist saying: “When I am hungry, I eat; when I'm tired, I sit down to rest; when I want to sleep, I lie down and fall asleep.”
Incongruity manifests itself as discrepancies between awareness, experience, and communication. For example, people are incongruent when they appear angry (clench their fists, raise their voices, and swear), but even under pressure they insist on the opposite. Incongruity also occurs in people who say they are having a wonderful time but are actually bored, lonely, or awkward. Incongruity is the inability to accurately perceive reality, the inability or unwillingness to accurately communicate one's feelings to another, or both.
When incongruence manifests itself in a discrepancy between experiences and their awareness, Rogers calls it suppression, or denial. The person simply does not realize what he is doing. Most psychotherapists work on this aspect of incongruity by helping people become more aware of their actions, thoughts, and attitudes to the extent that their clients' behavior affects themselves and others.
“The greater the therapist's ability to listen carefully to what is going on within himself, and the more he is able to recognize without fear the complexity of his own feelings, the greater his degree of congruence” (Rogers, 1961, p. 61).
When incongruence manifests itself as a mismatch between awareness and communication, the person is not expressing his or her true feelings or experiences. A person who exhibits this type of incongruity may appear deceitful, inauthentic, and dishonest to others. These behaviors are often discussed in group therapy or group sessions. A person who cheats or behaves dishonestly may appear angry. However, coaches and therapists say that a lack of social congruence and a seeming reluctance to communicate are not actually indicative of an evil character, but of a person's low self-control and self-perception. Due to fears or difficult to overcome long-standing habits of secrecy, people lose the ability to express their true emotions. It also happens that a person has difficulty trying to understand the desires of others, or cannot express his perceptions in a way that makes sense to them.
Incongruity manifests itself in a feeling of tension, anxiety; in extreme situations, incongruity can result in disorientation and confusion. Psychiatric patients who do not know where they are, what time of day they are, or even forget their names exhibit high levels of incongruity. The incongruence between external reality and their subjective experience is so great that they can no longer act without outside protection.
Most of the symptoms described in the psychopathology literature fit the definition of incongruity. Rogers emphasizes that incongruence of any kind must be resolved. Conflicting feelings, ideas, or interests are not in themselves symptoms of incongruity. In fact, this is a normal and healthy occurrence. Incongruence is expressed in the fact that a person is not aware of these conflicts, does not understand them and, therefore, is unable to resolve or balance them.
Many people find it difficult to admit that we all have different and even contradictory feelings. We behave differently at different times. This is neither unusual nor abnormal, but an inability to acknowledge, cope with, or accept conflicting feelings may indicate incongruity.
Thus, the incongruence of a person is manifested in her inability to recognize and accept her own conflicting impulses, feelings and thoughts. A person does not accept certain components of his own personality, as a result of which he begins to actively use the mechanisms of denial and suppression, which does not allow him to fully function and causes problems not only of an intrapersonal, but also of an interpersonal nature.
Therefore, self-acceptance is a necessary condition for personality congruence, since for a person to adequately perceive himself and coordinate his own communications, experiences and experiences, he must first of all have the ability to recognize and accept them as they really exist.
Carl Rogers identified four qualities that are necessary for successful and developing communication between people, including communication between a psychotherapist and a client. These include congruence, self-acceptance, acceptance of others, and empathic understanding.
As already mentioned, congruence is the correspondence between a person’s experience and his awareness.
“In my relationships with other people, I have discovered that nothing good will come of it if I pretend to be someone I am not. A mask expressing calm and contentment will not help improve relationships if anger and threat are hidden behind it; nor a friendly expression on your face if you are hostile at heart; nor ostentatious self-confidence, behind which one feels fear and uncertainty. I have found that this is true even for less complex levels of behavior. It doesn't help if I act like I'm healthy when I feel sick." (1, p. 58)
From the first quality - congruence, necessary for successful communication, the second directly follows, namely, accepting yourself as you are.
“It became easier for me to accept myself as an imperfect person who, of course, does not act in all cases the way he would like. A curious paradox arises - when I accept myself as I am, I change."
“To be who you are is to become completely a process. Only when a person can become more of who he is, be what he denies in himself, is there any hope for change. Does it imply being angry, uncontrollable, destructive?
The entire course of experiences in psychotherapy contradicts these fears. The more a person is able to allow his feelings to belong to him and flow freely, the more they occupy their appropriate place in the overall harmony of feelings. He discovers that he has other feelings with which the above mentioned are mixed and balanced. He feels loving, affectionate, considerate and cooperative as well as hostile, lustful and angry. He feels interest, liveliness, curiosity, as well as laziness or indifference. His feelings, when he lives with them and accepts their complexity, act in constructive harmony rather than leading him down some evil path beyond his control. In my experience, existing fully as a unique human being is not a bad process at all. A more appropriate name would be “a positive, constructive, realistic, trustworthy process.”
To accept yourself as you are, Rogers suggests following several rules.
1. “Away from the word “should.”
“Some individuals, with the “help” of their parents, have so deeply imbibed the concept “I should be good” or “I should be good” that it is only through a huge internal struggle that they move away from this goal.”
2. “Away from meeting expectations.”
“One of my patients said with great fervor: “For so long I tried to live according to what was meaningful to other people, but to me it really didn’t make any sense! I felt like I was so much more in some ways.” He tried to get away from that - to be what others wanted him to be.” (1, p. 218)
3. “Belief in your Self.”
“El Greco, looking at one of his early works, must have realized that “good” artists do not paint like that. But he trusted his own experience of life, the process of his feeling, enough to be able to continue to express his own unique perception of the world. He probably could have said, “Good artists don’t write like that, but that’s how I write.” Or take an example from another area. Ernest Hemingway, of course, recognized that “good writers don’t write like that.” But fortunately, he strove to be Hemingway, to be himself, and not to conform to someone else's idea of a good writer. Einstein, too, seems to have been unusually oblivious to the fact that good physicists do not think like him. Instead of leaving science because of insufficient education in physics, he simply strived to become Einstein, to think in his own way, to be himself as deeply and sincerely as possible." (1, p. 234)
4. “A positive attitude towards yourself.”
“One of the important end goals of psychotherapy is for the individual to feel that he likes himself, to truly value himself as a whole functioning being. This creates a feeling of spontaneous free pleasure, a primitive joy of life, similar to that which arises in a lamb grazing in a meadow or in a dolphin frolicking in the water.” (1, p. 131)
Rogers also points out that the therapist's acceptance of the client helps to increase the client's level of self-acceptance.
“I have often used the term “acceptance” to describe this aspect of the psychotherapeutic climate. It includes both a sense of acceptance of the negative, “bad,” painful, frightening, and abnormal feelings expressed by the client, as well as the expression of “good,” positive, mature, trusting, and social feelings. It involves accepting and liking the client as an independent person; allows him to have his own feelings and experiences and find his own meanings in them. The acquisition of meaningful knowledge is only possible to the extent that the therapist can create a safe climate of unconditional positive regard.” (160)
“By acceptance I mean a warm disposition towards him as a person of unconditional value, independent of his condition, behavior or feelings. This means that you like him, you respect him as a human being and you want him to feel your way. This means that you accept and respect the full range of his attitude towards what is happening at the moment, regardless of whether this attitude is positive or negative, whether it contradicts his previous attitude or not. This acceptance of every changing part of the other person's inner world creates for him a feeling of warmth and security in his relationship with you, and the feeling of security that comes from love and respect, it seems to me, is a very important part of a helping relationship. (20-21)
“In various articles and studies concerning the problems of client-centered psychotherapy, self-acceptance has been highlighted as one of the directions and results of psychotherapy. We have proven the fact that in the case of successful psychotherapy, a negative attitude towards oneself is weakened, and a positive one increases. We measured incremental increases in self-acceptance and found increases in correlated acceptance of others. However, after studying this statement and comparing it with data from our recent clients, I feel that it is not entirely true. The client not only accepts himself (this phrase can also mean dissatisfied, reluctant acceptance of something inevitable), but also begins to like himself. This is not narcissism combined with bragging and not narcissism with pretension, this is a rather calm self-satisfaction from the fact that you are you.” (48)
Thus, Carl Rogers studied the problem of self-acceptance in detail. He described the process of developing self-acceptance in a child under the influence of parents, identified the relationship between self-acceptance of an individual and the acceptance of others, and determined the role of self-acceptance for successful, developmental communication and psychotherapeutic practice.
Goal: creating conditions for consolidating and further developing self-acceptance of female students expecting the birth of a child.
develop a set of classes with elements of training aimed at developing self-acceptance among female students expecting the birth of a child;
assume the expected results from the implementation of a set of classes with elements of training aimed at developing self-acceptance in female students expecting the birth of a child.
To develop self-acceptance among students expecting the birth of a child, a set of classes with training elements was developed.
Classes are held once a week, in the afternoon, for 7 weeks, in 2012. A total of 7 classes can be held.
Group classes have a certain structure. Each lesson consists of three parts: introductory, main and final.
The purpose of a set of classes with training elements to develop self-acceptance in female students expecting the birth of a child:
1. Reach a qualitatively new level of self-awareness of the participants.
2. Increase self-confidence and self-acceptance.
3. Reduce or maintain the level of internal conflict and self-blame.
Expected results:
awareness by each participant of a set of activities of problem areas of his self-attitude;
understanding negative self-attitudes as limiting professional and personal self-realization;
constructive overcoming of internal conflict, formation of a more mature, developed, positive self-attitude;
consolidation and preservation of acquired personal developments during classes.
A set of classes with training elements to consolidate and further develop the positive self-attitude of female students expecting the birth of a child is organized on the basis of the following principles:
Correlation of exercises with reality: allows you to create an opportunity for participants to organically and most effectively transfer the acquired reflective experience into their activities. The reflective-cognitive process as a whole and each of its elements separately must be carried out based on the specific interests of the participants in the developmental set of activities.
Leveling barriers, creating an atmosphere of personal security: this helps mitigate the fear of criticism and fear of punishment for mistakes made, and contributes to the generation of innovative ideas by participants in the process.
Complementarity and mutual development of the interests of all participants: creates the opportunity to accumulate not only their life experience, but, most importantly, the achievements of the group as a whole.
Unity of the problem-semantic field: promotes the organization of the program space, taking into account the real problems and contradictions that exist in the life experience of the participants.
Building a reflective environment for co-creation: creating a favorable climate and the opportunity for each participant to holistically and comprehensively comprehend themselves as a subject of social activity.
The thematic plan and structure of the lesson complex are presented in Table 7.
Table 7
Thematic plan for a set of lessons
|
Lesson topic |
Purpose of the lesson |
Lesson structure |
|
|
"Sand placer" |
Getting to know each other, relieving emotional stress, overcoming the resistance of individual participants. |
2. Main part: Exercise “acquaintance”; Game “Making up fairy tales”; Break; Exercise “Relaxation”; Game "Compliment". |
|
|
"Obedient Clay" |
To unite participants, develop sensitivity to the perception of someone else’s personality and self-awareness, increase self-confidence, diagnose current problems. |
1. Introductory part: greeting ritual. 2. Main part: Exercise “Projective drawing”; Exercise “Group story”; Exercise “Letter to your loved one”; Game "Gift". 3. Final part: reflection; farewell ritual. |
|
|
"Puppet therapy" |
Deep awareness of your “I”, getting to know your shadow, diagnosing the archetype of the participants. |
1.Introductory part: greeting ritual. 2. Main part: Exercise “Making puppets”. 3. Final part: reflection; farewell ritual. |
|
|
"Unity with yourself" |
Awareness of one’s own conflicts, harmonization of one’s attitude towards oneself, awareness of current problems, experiences, self-knowledge. |
1. Introductory part: greeting ritual. 2. Main part: Exercise “The House of My Soul”; Break; Exercise “Two Pencils”. 3. Final part: reflection; farewell ritual. |
|
|
"The Power of Art" |
Raise your mood, improve self-esteem, respond to psychological problems through perception or creation of an image, self-awareness, understand yourself, identify a way to interact with people. |
1. Introductory part: greeting ritual. 2. Main part: Exercise “Positive autobiography”; Exercise “My World”; 3.Final part: farewell ritual. |
|
|
"Carnival" |
Self-acceptance, awareness of the characteristics of your character, hidden desires, acceptance of difficult situations, the ability to cope with them. |
1. Introductory part: greeting ritual. 2. Main part: Exercise “Portrait”; Break; Exercise “Mask”; 3.Final part: farewell ritual. |
|
|
"On the stage" |
Warming up the participants, awareness of internal resources and behavioral strategies, relaxation, changing the emotional attitude towards oneself, designating one’s personal space for a sense of security, completing classes. |
1. Introductory part: greeting ritual. 2. Main part: Game “Roles”; Exercise "Theater"; Break; Exercise "Portrait". 3. Final part: farewell ritual. |
It is assumed that this set of classes with training elements is a fairly effective means of consolidating and activating the process of forming a positive self-attitude among female students expecting the birth of a child. The change among respondents is carried out through the expansion of women’s attitude towards themselves towards a positive and harmonious view.
The development of a positive self-attitude can be carried out in the direction of forming in students expecting the birth of a child the idea that their personality is capable at any stage of pregnancy of strengthening the experience of the value of their personality (self-worth), developing tolerance for their shortcomings (self-acceptance).
Students expecting the birth of a child, as a result of participating in a set of classes with training elements, should form the idea that their personality, character or activities are capable of arousing respect, sympathy, approval and understanding (reflected self-attitude) from loved ones and people around them at any stage of development pregnancy.
Reducing the negative attitude of female students expecting the birth of a child towards themselves is carried out by forming the basis of the idea that the main source of their activity is themselves (self-leadership), developing a more tolerant attitude towards their shortcomings (self-acceptance).
The results of the experimental study demonstrated the absence of a derogatory type of self-attitude among female students expecting the birth of a child. However, at different stages of pregnancy, this type of self-attitude may appear. The reason for this fact lies in the content of the attitude of these women towards themselves. Evaluative self-attitude is predominantly formed at the intersubjective level of assessment in the form of operations of social comparison, or comparison of oneself with norms and standards developed in society. Hence, female students expecting the birth of a child, whose core of self-attitude is self-respect (an evaluative type of self-attitude), can become quite dependent on social norms, their own educational successes and the assessments of others. The conflict of a derogatory self-attitude in itself implies dissatisfaction with the “I”.
During the implementation of the program, students expecting the birth of a child may find some resistance to the process of self-change. The dynamics of their attitude towards themselves can sometimes occur against the background of self-accusation, aggressive behavior towards the leader of the lesson, and the participants in general. At the same time, changes in the self-attitude of these participants may be the most sustainable.
The proposed set of classes with training elements should not be used as the only means of developing a positive self-attitude among female students expecting the birth of a child. Their results require further consolidation. More sustainable and profound self-change for female students expecting the birth of a child is facilitated by their individual counseling before and after classes.
Conclusions on the second chapter
The purpose of the study was to identify the characteristics of the self-attitude of female students expecting the birth of a child.
The objectives of the study included:
To select methods for determining the self-attitude of female students who are and are not expecting the birth of a child.
To identify the characteristics of the self-attitude of female students expecting and not expecting the birth of a child.
To analyze the results obtained and draw conclusions about the presence of characteristics of the self-attitude of female students who are and are not expecting the birth of a child.
To develop a set of classes with training elements aimed at consolidating and further developing the self-acceptance of female students expecting the birth of a child.
The basis of the research was the pedagogical faculty of the ASAO named after. V. M. Shukshina.
The study involved 30 students expecting the birth of a child and 30 students not expecting the birth of a child.
Duration of the study: 2009-2012.
To identify the level of self-attitude of female students expecting the birth of a child, the “Self-Attitude Study” (MIS) method by S.R. was used. Panteleeva.
As a result of the analysis of the components of self-attitude of female students expecting the birth of a child, 2 groups of respondents were identified in accordance with the prevailing parameters on the scales:
Group 1 - 33% of respondents showed predominant parameters for the “self-esteem” factor, which includes the scales “self-leadership”, “self-confidence”, “reflected self-attitude”.
Students expecting the birth of a child and included in this group are distinguished by their openness towards themselves and their deep penetration into themselves. They are self-confident, consider themselves independent, strong-willed and reliable people who have something to respect themselves for.
Students expecting the birth of a child consider themselves to be the main source of activity and results relating to both activity and their own personality. Indeed, a pregnant woman follows the wishes of herself and her unborn child. Therefore, she believes that her fate and the fate of the unborn child is in her own hands.
At the same time, students expecting the birth of a child experience a sense of validity and consistency of all their internal motives and goals. They clearly believe that their personality, character, activities and position as a pregnant woman evoke respect, sympathy, approval, and understanding from others
Group 2 - 67% of respondents showed predominant parameters for the “autosympathy” factor, which includes the scales “self-acceptance”, “self-attachment”, “self-worth”.
In this group, students expecting the birth of a child experience a feeling of sympathy for themselves, agreement with their inner motives, acceptance of themselves, even with some shortcomings, for example, being overweight, stiffness in some movements, etc. Despite some inconveniences associated with pregnancy (we have to study at a university, at a time when you want to relax, shortness of breath, swelling, decreased performance, etc.) students expecting a child approve of their plans, desires, and are indulgent towards themselves.
The general background of their attitude towards themselves is positive, completely accepting, even with a tinge of some complacency. It is known that every pregnant woman believes that she is doing the most important thing in her life - giving birth to a child. Therefore, she treats herself with extreme satisfaction and has ideal ideas about herself.
Based on the diagnostic results, 2 more groups of respondents could be added in accordance with the prevailing parameters on the scales. For example, with predominant parameters for the “self-humiliation” factor, which includes the scales “self-blame” and “internal conflict,” and respondents who did not have predominant parameters for any of the factors.
The group with predominant parameters for the “self-deprecation” factor is united by the presence of a negative emotional tone of self-attitude, which is associated with the presence of internal conflicts, doubts, and disagreement with oneself. Judging by the results of this study, not a single student expecting a child is prone to excessive self-examination and reflection, which occurs against a general negative emotional background of attitude towards oneself. The respondents have no conflict with their own “I”, its rejection and emphasis on mistakes and failures.
As a result of the analysis of the components of self-attitude of female students who are not expecting the birth of a child, 4 groups of respondents were identified in accordance with the prevailing parameters on the scales:
Group 1 - 33% of respondents showed predominant parameters for the “self-esteem” factor, which includes the scales “self-leadership”, “self-confidence”, “reflected self-attitude”. All these scales express the assessment of the self of female students who do not expect to have a child in relation to social-normative criteria: determination, will, success, morality, social approval, etc.
They are open to themselves, confident, independent, they have something to respect themselves for. They are rarely dissatisfied with their capabilities, they rarely feel weaknesses or doubts. Students in this group who do not expect the birth of a child are guided in their actions by their own arguments and moods. They clearly have an internal core that integrates and organizes their personality, activities and communication. They believe that they deserve to evoke respect, sympathy, approval, and understanding from others.
Group 2 - 20% of respondents showed predominant parameters for the “autosympathy” factor, which includes the scales “self-acceptance”, “self-attachment”, “self-worth”. This factor expresses certain feelings or experiences towards the individual’s own “I”, based on an emotional feeling of attachment and disposition towards oneself.
Features of self-acceptance of female students who are not expecting the birth of a child from this group are distinguished by sympathy for themselves, agreement with their inner motives, acceptance of themselves, even with some shortcomings. The factor is associated with approval of one’s plans and desires, a condescending, friendly attitude towards oneself. In some cases, this is characterized by conservative self-sufficiency, denial of the possibility and desirability of developing one’s own “I” (even for the better).
Group 3 - 30% of respondents showed predominant parameters for the “self-humiliation” factor, which includes the “self-blame” and “internal conflict” scales. They are united by the presence of a negative emotional tone of self-attitude.
Students in this group who are not expecting the birth of a child are distinguished by internal conflict, doubt, disagreement with themselves, excessive self-examination and reflection, occurring against a general negative emotional background of attitude towards themselves. Denial of these qualities in oneself can indicate closedness, superficial complacency, and denial of problems. In terms of general psychological content, this aspect of self-attitude can be described as a feeling of conflict in one’s own “I.”
Group 4 - 17% of respondents for whom the predominant parameters were not identified for any of the factors.
Comparing the characteristics of the self-attitude of students expecting and not expecting the birth of a child, it can be noted that as a result of a study of the self-attitude of students expecting a child, 2 groups were identified: according to the factors “self-esteem” and “autosympathy”; and as a result of a study of the self-attitude of female students who are not expecting a child, 4 groups were identified: according to the factors “self-respect”, “autosympathy”, “self-abasement” and a group of respondents for whom the prevailing parameters were not identified according to any of the factors. There was agreement among female students expecting and not expecting the birth of a child on factors such as “self-esteem” and “autosympathy.”
Among female students expecting the birth of a child, the “self-esteem” factor is 33%. The same percentage of female students who are not expecting to have a child (33%) showed predominant parameters on the “self-esteem” factor, which includes the scales “self-leadership”, “self-confidence”, “reflected self-attitude”. All these scales express the assessment of the self of female students who are and are not expecting the birth of a child in relation to themselves. They are sufficiently satisfied with themselves, their life criteria, values, their behavior and the results of their activities.
A fairly large proportion of female students expecting the birth of a child (67%) showed predominant parameters for the “autosympathy” factor. Only 20% of students who are not expecting a child have this factor. It can be assumed that, unlike students who are not expecting the birth of a child, students who are expecting the birth of a child are more likely to feel self-sufficient, accept themselves completely, value themselves, their thoughts and feelings in a given period of time. Perhaps this is due to the psychophysiological characteristics of pregnancy, when a mental restructuring of a woman’s self-awareness, characteristic of pregnancy, occurs with the gradual inclusion of the image of a child. At this moment, the expectant mother experiences a symptom of a new life in herself. A meaningful pregnancy inspires the expectant mother, creates an appropriate affective background with which she spiritualizes her unborn baby; his presence evokes a feeling of tenderness and is painted in warm emotional tones. Accordingly, the emotional attitude towards oneself acquires a positive connotation. It is assumed that it is for this reason that the results on the “autosympathy” scale differ between female students expecting and not expecting the birth of a child.
According to the “self-deprecation” factor, 30% of students who are not expecting the birth of a child have the predominant parameters; no female students who are expecting the birth of a child with prevailing parameters for this factor were identified. This means that among female students who are not expecting the birth of a child, there is a tendency towards excessive self-examination and reflection, occurring against a general negative, emotional background of attitude towards themselves. They express internal conflict, doubt, and disagreement with themselves. Among female students expecting the birth of a child, this feature is not observed.
The last 4th group of respondents, for whom no pronounced parameters were identified for any of the self-attitude factors, again consisted only of students who were not expecting the birth of a child. Their answers contained phrases characteristic of groups 1, 2, 3, but no definite line of self-attitude could be traced.
As a result of the study, we can conclude that the content of the self-attitude of female students who are expecting the birth of a child differs in the above parameters from the self-attitude of female students who are not.
Thus, the self-attitude of students expecting the birth of a child differs from the self-attitude of students who are not expecting the birth of a child in the following features: self-confidence, openness, acceptance of themselves as they are, self-sufficiency, self-satisfaction, lack of increased reflection, lack of self-blame.
The results of the study confirmed the theoretical data and the hypothesis of this study that the self-attitude of students expecting the birth of a child is characterized by self-esteem, autosympathy and a low level of internal conflict. It is also worth noting that students expecting the birth of a child at different periods of pregnancy, and especially immediately before childbirth may be subject to mood swings and alternating feelings of high contentment and enjoyment with symptoms of depression and a sense of passivity. Therefore, it is recommended to create conditions for further self-acceptance of female students expecting the birth of a child.
It is assumed that this set of classes with training elements is a fairly effective means of activating the process of forming a positive self-attitude among female students expecting the birth of a child. The change among respondents is carried out through the expansion of women’s attitude towards themselves towards a positive and harmonious view.
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