How to commemorate the dead: folk traditions and the opinion of priests. Big memorial day - parental Saturday Is it possible to commemorate the dead at Shrovetide

The Orthodox tradition pays great attention to the memory of the dead. The dead Christians are commemorated in churches several times a year on Saturdays. But there is a special, parental Saturday, when funeral services are served in the church, paying attention to the deceased relatives, and people hold a wake and visit cemeteries. Due to many years negative attitude Soviet power to religion, when traditions and rituals were banned and some customs were forgotten, now many are at a loss as to how to spend parental Saturday.

In particular, people are concerned about what is needed and what cannot be done on this day, what needs to be carried with them to the cemetery and to church. Our ancestors tried to spend the parental Saturday with dignity, filled with events as much as possible, since, according to tradition, it was necessary to have time to complete a lot of deeds and rituals. Let's take a closer look at how to properly commemorate the dead on parental Saturday, and how it differs from other days.

In the Orthodox calendar, there are several dates of commemoration in the year. But the most revered among the people are those that precede major religious holidays, as before the Trinity, Shrovetide, Intercession. Despite the name "parental", this does not mean that this Saturday is intended to commemorate exclusively their deceased fathers and mothers. This name comes, rather, from the root "genus", since traditionally people are the first to commemorate their closest relatives, but it follows - all deceased acquaintances.

The following key memorial days are distinguished:

• Meatless Saturday;
• Radonitsa;
• Troitskaya;
• Dimitrovskaya.

On the eve of the celebration of the Maslenitsa week, before Great Lent, in all Orthodox churches there is an ecumenical, or great parental Saturday - the day of commemoration of the ancestors. This parent is still called Myasopustnaya. This name is due to the fact that this Saturday falls before the Meat Day - the last day before Lent, when believers can afford to eat meat.

A date is also singled out, which comes not before, but after the big Christian holiday. This is the parent, also called Radonitsa. It is celebrated on the ninth day after Bright Sunday, and it always falls on Tuesday, but according to folk tradition, they want to go to the cemetery on Saturday. As a rule, this day is celebrated in April, unless Easter is late (then Radonitsa falls in May). The specific number of Radonitsa can be found on the calendar, since it is directly tied to Easter, which, as you know, happens on different dates every year.

The next major Saturday is celebrated on the eve of the celebration of the Trinity. This parental memorial day differs from the rest in that traditionally people used it in ritual actions. a large number of greenery and flowers. Importance people also give Dmitrievskaya parental Saturday, which is celebrated in early November. This is the last special Saturday of the year, and therefore the people prepared for it especially carefully.

Dmitrievsky parental memorial day is also traditionally intended for a special commemoration of the soldiers who fell for the Motherland.

Important moments of parental Saturday

The key event of any parental Saturday is going to church and then to the cemetery. The Divine Liturgy for the dead is served in the churches, the priests perform memorial services over the graves at the churchyard, and people in the church and at home read special prayers for the repose of the souls of the dead. To spend parental Saturday correctly, you need to go to church a little earlier than the service. This is necessary in order to have time to submit a note of repose in the church. In this note, indicate the names given to the deceased relatives and friends at baptism (sometimes they do not match the secular names of people).

In addition, it is not customary to go to church empty-handed on parental Saturday. According to a long tradition, a special table for offerings has been installed in the temple. To this end, it is customary to bring food, usually lenten, to the church, as well as Cahors red wine, which is then used to celebrate the liturgy. Please note that other types of alcohol, such as vodka or cognac, cannot be carried as an offering to the house of God. It is interesting that earlier there was a custom to collect food and wine by the whole world, and after the service, one large table was laid in the courtyard of the temple, at which the parishioners then commemorated their relatives of the deceased. Now this tradition can still be found in small towns or villages, but it has mostly disappeared from modern life. Today, the products that were brought by the parishioners on parental Saturday are used for the needs of the parish and to help the poor.

According to Orthodox church rules, it is right to commemorate the dead in this way. You need to come to the church twice - first on the eve of the parental Saturday and then in the morning on the memorial day. On Friday, go to the evening service, during which the Great Requiem and Parastas are performed. Then, in the morning, go back to church to attend the Divine Liturgy and the general memorial service. According to the clergy, it is very important to pray for the dead, since only prayer can help them find peace. Few people foresaw their departure from life and managed to communicate with the priest, who absolved them of their sins. And therefore, only living relatives who, with their fervent prayers, ask the Almighty for forgiveness for the deceased, can remove the burden of sins from them.

After the service on parental Saturday, it is customary to immediately go to the cemetery. There it is necessary to put in order the grave and the territory next to it, change the flowers on the grave. It is permissible to commemorate the dead in the cemetery by sipping a little alcohol and having a bite. But the official church categorically opposes large feasts at the cemetery. The main memorial dinner on parental Saturday should be arranged after returning home. There you can gather relatives and at the set table to remember kind word their deceased relatives and close friends.

Do not forget to give alms on the way to the cemetery and from it and treat the beggars with food, who can often be found at the gates of the churchyard. This gesture of mercy corresponds to one of the key dogmas of Orthodoxy - to help your neighbor.

controversial issues

Many people are worried about whether it is permissible to do their usual household chores on parental Saturday - to do laundry or work around the house. The clergy have no prohibitions on this matter. Moreover, a special Sabbath initially suggests that a person must certainly go to the cemetery in order to:

• remove the area there;
• if necessary, correct the cross;
• fix the fence
• decorate the headstone.

Women, on the other hand, need to set the funeral table, which is also a kind of work. And it is necessary to treat the poor with a pie so that they pray for the dead. therefore, you can safely do everything planned and not worry about the prohibitions on physical labor on parental day. On the other hand, the priests point out that no work should be an obstacle in order to visit the church on the parental Saturday and on the eve of it and listen to the service.

There are also a number of questions regarding other worldly matters that fall on Parents' Sabbath. In particular, there are situations when newlyweds set a wedding date without checking with church calendar, and as a result, their marriage falls on the parental Saturday. When they find out about this, they begin to worry and fill their heads with unpleasant superstitions about this. Although the priests have a more loyal view on this issue than one might imagine. The clergy say that on Saturday the wedding is not held in the church, and you can sign in the registry office freely. Another thing is that it is not very convenient to play a wedding on the eve of major religious holidays, such as, for example, on Trinity parental Saturday. The very first days of summer are considered the beginning of the season of weddings, and therefore many newlyweds find themselves in a double situation on Trinity Parents' Day. According to the priests, believers on this day should be absorbed in preparing for the celebration of the Trinity - one of the largest religious holidays. This means that people need to go to the evening service the day before and confess. Therefore, a wedding on this parental Saturday may be unacceptable.

If the wedding date for Trinity parental Saturday has already been set, and there is no way to change it, folk wisdom I've saved up a few rituals to help you come to terms with it. It was believed that on the morning before the celebration, the newlyweds, each individually, should visit the cemetery in order to put fresh flowers on the graves of their closest relatives. In the event that one of the parents of the newlyweds did not live to see this solemn day, it is important to come together to the grave in order to ask the deceased for a marriage blessing.

Ancient traditions of parental Saturdays

To this day, a huge layer of rituals associated with holding parental Saturdays has been preserved. There are also many signs that people still pay attention to. For example, rain was expected on Radonitsa. A downpour or light rain meant that a rich harvest would be harvested in the fall. People even tried to call for rain, looking at the clouds. If the heavens had mercy on their requests, and the first drops fell, then everyone hurried to collect rainwater in their palms in order to wash themselves with it. It was believed that this ritual brings happiness and good luck. And young girls and women used rainwater in even more intricate ways. They collected it in a container intended for this and then put gold or silver rings into the water - whoever had what wealth. Our ancestors believed that this ritual kept the girls young and pretty.

Even more unusual traditions have been preserved on the Trinity parental Saturday. Our ancestors were sure that on parental Saturday their deceased relatives could go out into the world of the living for a while to communicate with their loved ones. It was believed that on the eve of the Trinity, their spirits hid in greenery - flowers, bushes, herbs and trees. Therefore, people hurried to visit the cemetery on this day in order to decorate the graves of the deceased with fresh green herbs and bright flowers.

As on Radonitsa, Trinity Memorial Saturday in the old days was divided into three parts.

If everything is clear with the first two points, then what happened on the evening of parental day? The elderly stayed at home and spent the evening in prayer, but the youth gathered for fun. It should be noted that parental Saturdays were not only days of commemoration of the dead, but also a kind of holiday praising life. On Trinity parental Saturday, the youth gathered together near the reservoir. On the banks of lakes or rivers, they lit large fires and had fun.

But Dmitrievskaya Saturday was famous for feasts. If on the parental Saturday after Easter the memorial table should have been covered with Easter dishes, then in the fall the key meal of the parental memorial day was a variety of pies. According to tradition, preparations for this day began on Friday. On Friday evenings, after dinner was over, the hostesses would completely clear the table and cover it with a fresh tablecloth. Then the table was covered with new food. With this symbolic gesture, the souls of the deceased were invited to the table. After that, all family members had to thoroughly wash themselves in the bath. The last of those who visited the steam room left water and a broom in the tub so that the deceased relatives could freshen up.

On parental Saturday, after the traditional visit to the church and cemetery, people proceeded to a large memorial meal. On this day, the hostesses laid a rich table. The main dishes were the favorite food of the deceased relatives. Also certainly put on the table;

• pancakes;
• uzvar (compote, cooked from dried fruits);
• kutya;
• jelly;
• roast;
• pies.

According to tradition, pies on this day should have been oblong. Also, another tradition associated with pies concerned people who had recently married. Those who got married in October had to prepare a special funeral cake and take it with them to the cemetery.

There was also a special ritual on this parental Saturday. A clean plate intended for the deceased was placed on the table with a memorial dinner. Each of the participants in the memorial meal put on this dish a spoonful of food from their plate. This plate was not removed at night. It was believed that the souls of the dead were treated to dinner at night.

Modern people partially continue to follow the traditions of their ancestors. A striking example is that at the memorial meal there is always an empty plate and a glass covered with a piece of bread. From the point of view of the clergy, this is nothing more than a relic of pagan traditions, since there is no such rite in the Christian faith. But many priests are condescending towards such actions of members of their parish. But what, in their opinion, must be done on parental Saturday is to visit the temple.

In the event that a person cannot come to church due to illness or is on the road that day, then you just need to pray for the souls of the dead. Prayer is of key importance, and it will be possible to come to the cemetery to remove the grave of deceased relatives on any other convenient day.

Parental Saturdays are days of special commemoration of the departed, when with our prayers we can provide great help to relatives and friends who have passed away from earthly life. It is possible to remember those who have not been with you for a long time at other times, however, these days are considered special in order to help kindred souls cleanse themselves by praying for them sincerely and with love.

Parental days are called because all the deceased are considered to have gone to their parents, ancestors. They commemorate all those who have gone to another world, but first of all, those closest to them.

From time immemorial, pancakes were specially baked for ancestors, and the first pancake was placed on the shrine, dormer window or roof, left on graves in the cemetery, and pancakes were distributed to children, beggars and nuns with a request to remember their ancestors.

On this day, it is customary to go to church services, make donations, visit the graves of the dead and decorate them with flowers. You can bring food to the temple, which the ministers will distribute to needy people for remembrance, put candles. The church also advises submitting notes that indicate the names of deceased loved ones for church mention in prayers. If you didn’t manage to visit the church on the Orthodox memorial Saturday, pray at home with an open heart.

As on other parental days (on Radonitsa, before the Trinity, before Demetrius Day), the whole family gathers for a memorial dinner for Shrovetide. At home and in the yard, they carefully clean up, a large (usually unpaired) number of dishes is served on the tables. The hosts try to properly meet the souls of their ancestors, who flock on the days of general remembrance. A lit candle is placed on the table in a jar of grain, for showers a little is set aside from all dishes, jelly is poured into a separate glass. The living remember close and distant relatives who have left this world.

At the cemetery, it is favorable to tidy up the grave, replace the flowers with fresh ones, remember something good about your ancestors, thereby showing that you keep the memory of a loved one. Fresh flowers are a symbol of new life and rebirth. You can also light candles on the graves or put a special lamp with fire.

Most best time to visit the cemetery - morning and time before lunch, visiting cemeteries in the evening is unfavorable. After visiting the cemetery, it is important to cleanse yourself: before entering the house, take off your shoes and wash them, then take a shower, preferably with salt, and wash your hair so that the energy of the dead world does not stay with you. It is advisable to wash the clothes in which they were at the cemetery.

You should not visit the cemetery for pregnant women, as well as for small children - it is better to refrain.

Prepared on the basis of open sources specifically for the project "Women's Sangha"

The hour is coming when the remains of the deceased are buried in the earth, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry out. IN famous days she prays for the deceased and brings a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of commemoration are the third, ninth and fortieth (while the day of death is considered the first). Commemoration these days is consecrated by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave.

The third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her to those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house where the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul, on the other hand, walks in those places where it used to do the right thing. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him, the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul, which appeared before the face of the Just, is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the deceased.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. For this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the enjoyment of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How busy I am in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too would be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas, poor me!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. With fear and trembling the soul stands before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. The prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of God, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until doomsday. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They blot out the sins of the deceased and ask his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed holidays are repeated again. Death anniversary loved one is always celebrated with at least a heartfelt commemoration by his loving relatives and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

Ecumenical funeral service (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away from the age of faith, who have been honored with a Christian death, as well as those who, having been overtaken by sudden death, were not sent to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The requiems performed at the same time, indicated by the charter of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Saturday is meatless. Dedicating the Meat-Feast Week to the remembrance of the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for her living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all genera, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death. and pray to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers, and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the Church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all who die in the faith. And communion with them through prayer, prayerful commemoration of them is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all the dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of the salvation of man, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is alive.” ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church dedicates to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. St. Basil the Great, who compiled the touching prayers for the Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord, most of all, on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Holy Forty Days. On Holy Forty Days - the days of Great Lent, spiritual feat, the feat of repentance and doing good to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemoration on the appointed days of those who have departed from this life. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church to commemorate the departed also for the reason that no funeral commemorations are performed on the weekly days of Great Lent (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, forty-mouthed), since there is no daily full liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the dead is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of Holy Forty Days, the indicated Saturdays are singled out.

Radonitsa. The basis of the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas's week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. Thomas Sunday, on the other hand, permission church charter perform the usual commemoration of the dead after the Holy and bright week, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of commemoration is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet time a custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after an earnest prayer for their repose in the temple - after a memorial service served in the church. During the Easter week there are no requiems, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Paschal week, litanies for the dead are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

CHURCH FUNERAL SERVICES

It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The Church performs the main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), a note with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be taken out of the prosphora, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy cup and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest good that we can give to those who are dear to us. Here is how the commemoration at the liturgy is said in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before being separated from real life, only those who did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayerful vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in deeds of love for God and neighbor), - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer for what they have done sins of punishment, without losing, however, the hope of relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and good works done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergy brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church daily brings.

At the top of the note is usually placed an eight-pointed Orthodox cross. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - “On the repose”, after which the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written in large, legible handwriting (to answer the question “who?”), With the clergy and monastics mentioned first, indicating the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, Schemagumen Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrey, Nina).

All names must be given in church spelling (for example, Tatiana, Alexy) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).

The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more carefully. Therefore, it is better to submit several notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.

By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of the monastery or temple. To avoid confusion, remember that the difference in prices (registered or simple notes) only reflects the difference in the amount of the donation. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the names of your relatives mentioned in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place on the proskomedia, when particles are taken out of the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your commemoration book and pray for loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.

After the liturgy, you can serve a memorial service. A memorial service is served before the eve - a special table with the image of a crucifix and rows of candlesticks. Here you can also leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the departed loved ones.

It is very important after death to order a magpie in the temple - an unceasing commemoration at the liturgy for forty days. At the end of the magpie, you can order again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (as long as the monastery stands) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (this is an ancient Orthodox custom). The more churches that pray, the better for our neighbor!

It is very useful on the memorable days of the deceased to donate to the church, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificed food. You can't just bring it on the eve meat food and alcohol (except church wine). The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle that is placed on his repose.

Understanding that the most we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of commemoration at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and do works of mercy.

REMEMBERING THE DEAD AT HOME PRAYER

Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need, by and large, either a coffin, or a grave monument, and even more so a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for she cannot do good deeds herself, with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Prayer at home for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox. St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the departed: “If the all-pervading Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this not mean that it is still allowed to throw a rope, although not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and maybe often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shore of temporal life, but have not reached the eternal home? Salvatory for those souls who vacillate over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now plunging into deeds unworthy of it, now exalted by grace, now being brought down by the remains of a damaged nature, now ascending by Divine desire, now becoming entangled in coarse, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts ... "

The home prayer commemoration of the deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section “Reading the Psalter for the Dead”, during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading an akathist for the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for the deceased parents, relatives, known and benefactors. For this, the following is included in the number of daily morning prayers: short prayer:

Prayer for the dead

Give rest, O Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read the names from the commemorative book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom to keep family commemorations, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their deceased ancestors by name.

FUNERAL MEAL

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss the news, eat tasty food, while Orthodox Christians should also pray for the departed at the memorial table.

Before the meal, one should perform a lithium - a short rite of memorial service, which can be performed by a layman. IN last resort you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish that is eaten at the wake is kutya (kolyovo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains are a symbol of resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutya should be consecrated with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.

Naturally, the desire of the owners to treat everyone who came to the commemoration to taste better. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat the allowed food: on Wednesday, Friday, during long fasts - do not eat fast. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is transferred to the next Saturday or Sunday.

It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially from vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not commemorated with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who may suffer greatly in the afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that "drunken" commemorations often turn into an ugly gathering, where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread “for the deceased” at the table is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

On the contrary, there are pious practices worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the poor and the poor, children and old women are the first to sit down at the memorial table. They can also distribute clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of evidence from the afterlife about the great help to the dead as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to start living a life Orthodox Christian.

Thus, one now living archimandrite relates the following incident from his pastoral practice.

"It was in difficult post-war years. Comes to me, the rector of the village church, a mother crying with grief, in which her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed of her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "Are any of his clothes left?" - "Yes, sure". - "Give it to your friends Mishin, they will surely come in handy."

A few days later, she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the same clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked, but now complained of hunger. I advised to make a memorial meal for the village children - Misha's friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, but what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman, than she could, treated the children.

She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and full, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, to the best of her ability and ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”

During the week before Lent, a Slavic traditional holiday, Maslenitsa, is celebrated. Rites and rituals performed at this time will help you get rich, get rid of diseases and find personal happiness.

Maslenitsa - folk holiday which has a long history. Initially, the celebration was pagan, but over time Orthodox Church included it in the calendar of church holidays.

The Maslenitsa celebration always starts on Monday and lasts for the rest of the week. On Sunday evening, on the eve of the holiday, the youth went out into the street to greet him cheerfully. Pancakes are the main dish of Maslenitsa. They are baked in large quantities, treating them to relatives, friends and acquaintances. During the festive week, it is customary to visit guests and eat hearty treats offered.

Rituals for Shrovetide Week

During the Maslenitsa week, our ancestors performed many rituals. At this time, they said goodbye to winter and joyfully met the coming spring, arranged fistfights, burned an effigy of Shrovetide, and its ashes were scattered over the fields so that they would bring a good harvest.

Each day of the week was celebrated in a special way and got its name:

• Monday - "meeting";
• Tuesday - "tricks";
• Wednesday - "gourmet";
• Thursday - "wide Thursday";
• Friday - "mother-in-law evening";
• Saturday - "hall gatherings";
• The last day of the week is Forgiveness Sunday.

Among the rituals that our ancestors performed, the most popular are:

• agricultural;
• marriage and family;
• funeral.

Marriage and family ceremonies for Maslenitsa

The most important Shrovetide rites include marriage and family customs.

For the newlyweds arranged "bride". They were put in front of the whole street and forced to kiss many times. Peasant women, who had been married for a little over a year, were harnessed to a sleigh, and they had to ride their girlfriends around the village, singing funny songs and telling jokes during this.

On Friday, young sons-in-law went to visit their mother-in-law "for pancakes." The mother-in-law treated her son-in-law, and complimented him, so to speak, “cajoled” so that he would treat his wife well.

Another Shrovetide rite was practiced by our ancestors - the punishment of single guys. Unmarried young men were hung around their necks with blocks to which a log was tied. The log symbolized the "soul mate" sitting on the neck. With a log, the guy had to walk around the village all day, listening to the ridicule of his fellow villagers.

On Forgiveness Sunday, the celebration of Maslenitsa ended. The purpose of this day was to reconcile quarreling relatives and consolidate good relationships. On Forgiveness Sunday, they tried to finish all the food prepared for the holiday or distribute it to the poor. On this day, they went to the cemetery and worshiped the ashes of relatives, leaving pancakes on the graves.

Funeral ceremonies for Maslenitsa

Shrovetide funeral rites are associated with baking pancakes, burning a effigy of Maslenitsa and cooking funeral food. Traditionally, dishes were prepared from fish, which, through its dumbness in folk culture, personified the souls of the dead.

Snow was used for divination, considering it the personification of the souls of the dead. During the preparation of pancakes from buckwheat flour, melted snow water was added to the dough.

On Shrove Week it was forbidden to weave and spin. These prohibitions were observed out of fear of harming the souls of deceased relatives present nearby. The evening hours of Pancake week were considered holy.

According to our ancestors, non-observance of these prohibitions could bring a lot of misfortunes and misfortunes.

The bonfire for Maslenitsa also belongs to the funeral rite. It served as a kind of invitation on the eve of the fast of the deceased ancestors to a hearty dinner.

The purpose of the ancient Russian Maslenitsa was to appease the spirits for all subsequent days of the year.

Farming rituals for Maslenitsa

The ancient Slavs always took the first baked pancake outside as a gift to Yarila and Spring. It was laid on the ground so that the Sun would warm the fields, and Spring-red would come faster.

Skating from the ice slides was very popular during Shrove Tuesday. In ancient times, they believed that the further you slide down the hill, the greater the flax harvest.

Maslenitsa is a kind of celebration of gluttony. It was believed that the more satisfying the holiday was, the richer the year would be.

Today, many people are waiting for Maslenitsa not only for the purpose of tasty food and good fun, but also for various rituals. One of the most popular is the ritual for wealth.

If during the Maslenitsa week you manage to be outside the city, then you can perform an old rite on Maslenitsa to attract money. You need to kindle a fire and burn your old unnecessary things in it. By letting go of the old, you open the door to the new in your life.

While things are burning, read this plot:

“I burn old and unnecessary things,

I open the door to something new in my life.

Let all unnecessary go away

And Maslenitsa will bring me good luck and profit.”

There is another effective Shrovetide rite that will help you get rich. It is necessary at the end of the Maslenitsa week, i.e. on Monday, visit a place of public festivities. Walk there until you find a coin. Raising the coin with your left hand, read the plot:

“I, the servant of God (name), walked, found a coin on my way. As I came to this money, let the money come into my hands on their own. Let how many people were for the holidays, I will have so much money. Amen!".

Bring the coin home and keep it until next year. A year later, when local festivities will be held, the coin must be taken and thrown in the place where you found it.

Ritual for Shrovetide for marriage

If you are single and dream of meeting a soul mate, perform a simple ceremony during Maslenitsa that will help you find personal happiness soon.

The ritual for marriage on Maslenitsa is held on Sunday. Come to a crowded place where the holiday is celebrated, and, being among the walking people, read the conspiracy to yourself:

“Shrovetide has come, brought joy to everyone. Bring Maslenitsa happiness into my life, send me my fate. Let me meet on my way worthy person with whom I will find happiness forever. Let it be so. Amen".

After that, you need to cross yourself three times.

Love spell on Maslenitsa

To make the guy you like reciprocate, cast a love spell on pancakes for Maslenitsa.

To do this, you need to replace the dough for pancakes, and add a little holy water to it. When you knead, read the love words:

“I’m baking pancakes, I want you to like it. As spring comes to us with Maslenitsa, the sun warms, and the snow melts, so the heart of the servant of God (name) to the servant of God (name) will melt. He will think about me and miss me, miss me and grieve. As I say, so be it. Amen".

After that, bake pancakes and treat your loved one.

For a long time, funeral traditions have been passed down from generation to generation. People follow them even today, remembering loved ones who are no longer in this world.

Commemoration of the dead: folk customs

Even before the adoption of Christianity, the Slavs spent a lot of time commemorating their deceased relatives. Today, pagan and church traditions are largely intertwined. Often the accepted Orthodox tradition of Parents' Saturdays also coincides with them. But initially, of course, there were differences. To this day, it is believed that the dead do not leave us completely. There is even a way to protect yourself from bad influence, awakening the protection of the genus . This, perhaps, was the reason for such a careful commemoration of the dead.

Traditionally, the Slavs commemorated the dead on Semik and Rus week, on Radonitsa and Easter of the Dead, as well as on Trinity week. Ukrainians and Belarusians also had a holiday of the Father. On each of these days, they remembered their dead relatives and loved ones. The days of the mermaid week were especially intense, since it was believed that children and girls who did not die of their own death walk the earth at this time. To appease them, they performed some rituals, supporting old folk traditions.

In addition to going to the cemetery, they prepared traditional dishes. Traditionally, pancakes and kutya are included in the memorial meal. They also cooked jelly. Food was taken to the cemetery and left there, some was also distributed to the poor. It is believed that before the adoption of Christianity, the Slavs held memorial meals at the graves of their fellow tribesmen. In some places on Radonitsa, the people had a custom to specially heat the bathhouse. The people themselves did not bathe there. The deceased were left clean clothes, and in the morning on the ashes scattered in advance, they looked for traces of the dead.

Days of Remembrance of the Dead

From time immemorial, the dead were commemorated on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death, as well as a year later. Subsequently, the commemoration on the fortieth day was associated with Orthodoxy: the soul of the deceased during this time experiences ordeals before it can be accepted into heaven or hell, as Christians believe. Also, the people say that on the third day the image changes, on the ninth the body decays, and on the fortieth - the heart. In the Christian tradition, this custom is associated with faith in the Triune God. Thus, the living ask God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to forgive the sins of the deceased.

According to church tradition, the dead are commemorated on their birthday and on the day of the Angel. Among other things, the church establishes special dates for the remembrance of the dead - Parental Saturdays. They are often tied to certain events and holidays. There are two Ecumenical Parent Saturdays in a year. They are important because not only those who died of natural causes are commemorated at the liturgy, but also suicides, whom the church, according to the rules, does not funeral. In addition to them, all those who died not by their own death or not buried are commemorated. The first of the Ecumenical Parental Saturdays is a meat-fare Saturday, before Shrovetide (cheese) week. The second is the Saturday before Trinity. Also, Saturdays of 2, 3 and 4 weeks of Great Lent and some other days are set aside to commemorate the dead. You can learn more about Parental Saturdays and all other Christian holidays from the Orthodox calendar for next year.

The opinion of the church on the commemoration of the departed

Correctly remembering the dead is considered prayer and alms. According to the church, the more often you do this, the more you save the soul of the one you are praying for. They usually wear black or dark blue clothing, often not new. The rest of the usual attributes of mourning are traditionally considered pagan and wrong from the point of view of the church.

To this day, empty cutlery is often placed for the deceased and even the place where he used to sit is left. An even more common practice is to pour a glass of vodka to the deceased and put a piece of bread on it. The church considers such pagan traditions to be wrong, but they are common and familiar to the people, so everyone chooses according to their faith.

Right and wrong is a relative concept. The only advice that can be in such a matter is a respectful attitude towards the deceased. Even if you consider yourself a believing Christian, you do not need to bury an atheist if he did not want it before his death. The same applies to representatives of another faith: the deceased would like his burial to take place exactly according to the rules that his faith establishes for him. Therefore, see off on the last journey, taking into account the characteristics of this person. But praying for loved ones is not forbidden. The more often you go to church and read prayers for the family, the more noticeable will be the well-being in your home.

In such a sensitive issue as the commemoration of the dead, the ancient Slavs showed respect and love for the family and ancestors. We wish you close and mutual warm relations in the family, and don't forget to press the buttons and