Spring commemoration of ancestors in the Russian tradition. Big memorial day - parental Saturday Wake at Shrove Tuesday what to cook

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In Orthodoxy, there are Sabbath days of special prayerful commemoration of the dead.

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In pre-revolutionary times each family had a list of the names of all the deceased members of this clan - "Pomyannik". So, they prayed even for those whom the oldest of the living family members did not remember.

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Now this tradition has been lost by most families, and even when performing a commemoration, many believers do not know how to properly commemorate deceased loved ones. Priest Andrei Bezruchko, rector of St. Nicholas Church in Voskresensk, answered questions regarding the commemoration of the dead.

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Why does the Orthodox Church introduce special days of commemoration - parental Saturdays, after all, commemoration, and so, is performed at the liturgy?

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The fact is that liturgies are not performed in churches every day, there is no such thing, saying modern language, technical capability. In order to celebrate the liturgy, it is necessary that, in addition to the priest, there are choristers, sexton and, of course, those who pray. Therefore, in the middle of the week, not every church performs such a service as a liturgy. But on Sunday, in every active church, liturgies are celebrated. This is not enough to commemorate the dead, because this day happens only once a week. Therefore, for a special commemoration, parental Saturdays and days of commemoration of the dead are allocated, on which a special prayer for the departed takes place.

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In Great Lent, a full liturgy cannot be celebrated during the week, therefore, there can be no commemoration of the dead on these days either.

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From Monday to Friday (on weekdays) of Great Lent, a full liturgy is not celebrated in any church- not allowed, performed on Wednesdays and Fridays or on major holidays, the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts. At this liturgy, neither a commemoration of health nor repose is performed, because the days of fasting are days of repentance, days of special prayer, when a person goes deep into himself and the church structure of the service itself does not leave time for long commemorations of the dead, except for a brief funeral litia, which is laid after 1 hour.

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And therefore, in Great Lent, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th Saturdays are determined, which are called the days of commemoration of the departed- these days just given special time to pray for the dead. On the eve, 17 Kathisma is read (this is when they pray for the dead). It speaks of recompense to the righteous and sinners from God, of their accountability before God for their deeds, and therefore, this Kathisma in the Psalter is the most appropriate on this day, and the Church Charter determines to read it on the eve of Saturday. And already on the very Sabbath day of commemoration of the dead, a liturgy and memorial service is performed, as a prayer for the dead, where the dead are commemorated.

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When are parental Saturdays on the calendar, and what other special days have the Orthodox Church set for commemoration of the departed?

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Parental Saturdays are called several days in church calendar: Myasopustnaya, Trinity and Dmitrievskaya parental Saturdays.

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The remaining days in the Church calendar are the days of commemoration of the dead. Although, on all these days, they commemorate the parents of the deceased, and relatives and friends of Orthodox Christians, Orthodox slain soldiers, but the names differ in the structure of the service itself, that is, in the name of the days of commemoration of the dead, it determines the very structure of this funeral prayer. For example, if parent saturday, Trinity, Myasopustnaya and Dmitrievskaya, then these days the service is more filled than on other days of commemoration of the dead, with lengthy prayers, including troparia, stichera, canons.

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In addition to the usual days of commemoration of the departed: three parental Saturdays, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Saturdays in Great Lent, there are other days of commemoration of the departed - Radonitsa (Tuesday of the second week after Easter), since there are no memorials on the Easter week itself great prayers, there is only a secret prayer that takes place in the altar, but there is no common prayer for the dead. They are transferred to Radonitsa, although the structure of the service performed on this day is not so abundantly filled with prayers for the dead.

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The Days of Commemoration of the Dead is September 11, on this day of the beheading of John the Baptist, the dead are also commemorated, the date came historically - on this day it is customary to commemorate Orthodox soldiers who died in Patriotic war 1812, this day was commemorated, and so this day remained for commemoration, and not only of the deceased soldiers.

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Also today, on May 9, the deceased soldiers in the Great Patriotic War are commemorated. On this day, warriors are commemorated, although other deceased relatives can also be commemorated.

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Another day of commemoration of the dead is the day of commemoration of the dead, who died during the years of persecution for the faith of Christ, repressed people in the 30s, in godless times. Among the millions of those who were shot there were many Orthodox Christians, all of them are commemorated in a special prayer on the day of the New Martyrs and Confessors of Russia - this is the last Sunday of January (after January 25). On this day, after the prayerful commemoration of the saints, we turn to the repose of the souls of the departed.

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There are other days of commemoration of the dead, they are not in the church calendar, but with the blessing of His Holiness the Patriarch they are performed. For example: about those who died in an accident, about the dead liquidators Chernobyl nuclear power plant and etc.

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What should a believer do on parental Saturday in order to commemorate deceased loved ones?

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First of all, prayer for them, prayer in the temple, prayer at home, because there are people who, for good reason, cannot attend church on this day. Therefore, they can fervently and heartily pray at home for their deceased relatives - in a private prayer at home. In the usual Prayer Book there is a “Prayer for the Departed”. On the eve, you can give notes with the names of the deceased to those who go to the temple on this day.

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You can visit the church shop the day before and hand over a note so that they remember that day, put a candle, because a burning candle is like a symbol of the burning of the human soul during prayer. We pray for the departed, and they feel our prayer and their afterlife from our prayer becomes better, becomes blissful. Of course, this depends on the strength of our prayer, and although we cannot make such a prayer, as the saints did, so that overnight through our prayer the departed would immediately be in paradise, but to the best of our ability in prayers, we remember them, envelop their afterlife .

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In the “Prayer for the Departed” there are the words “Rest, Lord, the souls of the departed servants of yours: parents ...”, what words should be pronounced if the parents of the supplicant are alive?

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You can say grandparents, they include grandfathers, great-grandfathers, all deceased members of the clan, therefore Saturday is also called parental, because we pray for the departed of our clan.

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How to write names in notes correctly if the names of those who are commemorated are Yuri, Svetlana and Eduard?

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All names in the notes should be given in church spelling, for example, George, not Yuri, Fotinia, not Svetlana. Some people, pronouncing the name in Greek, can calmly pronounce it in Russian, for some names there is no barrier between languages. But, nevertheless, you need to be guided by the local charter: if they accept in the temple with that name, serve it, if not, then it's okay if you correct the name.

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But there are rare names which have no interpretation in church calendar, for example, Eleanor, Edward, Rubin, etc. Therefore, you should write the name given at Baptism, and if it is unknown, resolve this issue with the priest.

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Does a person need to think about the afterlife on parental Saturday or on the day of remembrance of the dead?

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A person needs to think about the afterlife not only on this day, but every day of his life. The Proverbs of Solomon says: “In all your deeds, remember your end, and you will never sin ...” - this is the path to a sinless human life. If we think that we have to stand before God and give an answer for our deeds, then every day in our life we ​​will try to spend piously, commit less sins.
On the days of commemoration of the dead, you need to think about your own afterlife, and about the afterlife of deceased relatives. Of course, all these thoughts normal person who understands his spiritual path, follows it, strives to climb the hierarchical ladder of virtue.

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What is the meaning of the memorial meal?

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Those present, eating at the meal, commemorate the deceased relatives, for whom this meal is prepared. This important point, because there is such a saying "The well-fed does not understand the hungry." When we are full, we do not think that there are people who are hungry, who need to be fed. Often, when the commemoration is held, many people come there to eat - there is no opportunity to eat at home. Therefore, being present at this meal, they will commemorate our deceased relative with a prayer. The meal itself is an almsgiving done for the deceased relatives, because those expenses that went to it, this is the sacrifice.

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Question about attendees. This should not be a circle of people who interest us for profitable purposes in order to benefit from them. Therefore, we must invite poor people to the commemoration who need to be fed.

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Of course, the main thing in commemoration is prayer, but, nevertheless, the memorial meal is a continuation of this prayer. The meal in the church charter is a continuation of the service, its integral part. Therefore, being present at the memorial meal, a person is present at the divine service.

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Are alcoholic drinks allowed?

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The church charter does not prohibit the use of alcoholic beverages at the memorial meal. But sometimes commemoration turns into drunkenness, from commemoration into sin. Therefore, everything should be in moderation. The use of alcoholic beverages is possible, but it is advised: for those who abstain - do not drink, and for those who want to drink - do not commemorate with alcohol, but commemorate with a meal, and drink alcohol so that they do not raise their glasses, commemorating a deceased acquaintance.

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Is it right to leave sweets, cigarettes (if the deceased was a smoker) or even glasses of alcohol in the cemetery?

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Some people think that if the deceased smoked during his lifetime, then after his death, cigarettes should be brought to the grave, then, following this logic, if a person liked to drive a car, then he needs to drive a car to the cemetery. What else did you love? Dance - dance on the grave. Thus, we are returning to paganism, then there was a trizna (rite), which just did not happen there.

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We must understand that if a person had some kind of earthly addiction, it remains on earth, but this does not exist in eternal life. Of course, it is inappropriate to put cigarettes or glasses of alcohol. You can leave sweets or cookies, but not on the grave, but on a table or bench, for a person to come and commemorate this person. And to scold, for example, children in that. that they collect sweets is not worth it - they are placed in order to remember.

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The grave must be kept clean, and nothing from food should be placed on the grave itself. In the absence of a person, the birds sit there and shit, and it turns out - the grave is well-groomed, the fence is painted, and the birds or dogs break the order - they scatter candy wrappers, etc.

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The best way out is to distribute candies and sweets to those who need it as alms.

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How to say "Kingdom of heaven to him" or "May the earth rest in peace"?

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An Orthodox Christian will always say: "The kingdom of heaven is his," and the atheist says: “Let the earth rest in peace to him,” because he does not believe in the Kingdom of Heaven, but, although, wishing something good, let him say so to his relative. But an Orthodox Christian needs to say correctly: "God be his kingdom."

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What kind of people should not be commemorated in the temple?

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The temple does not commemorate suicides and unbaptized by name. In common prayer, when we come to church to pray, we can give any petitions to the Lord God in our hearts, in our minds. Of course, when a person has unbaptized deceased, or suicidal deceased, in mental prayer it is impossible to forbid turning to the Lord - the Lord himself knows whom, how to determine in the afterlife.

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There are cases when suicides are blessed to be buried in absentia. And when the funeral service is held in absentia, in the Diocesan Administration, after the commemoration of the dead, they say that the commemoration in the temple of this person is at the discretion of the rector of this temple.
In the Church Charter, to resolve controversial issues, there is an expression “If the rector pleases,” and this is understood in such a way that if the rector allows, you can submit notes, if not, it means that the priest is guided by the statutory principles.

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Is it possible to commemorate them with a home prayer?

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In prayer, no one limits, although, you need to understand that the Lord himself will judge at the Last Judgment. At home, we can pray for everything, not only for people, but also for dispensation in the family and affairs.

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If a person dies during Lent, how can he be commemorated during the week?

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In Great Lent there are some deviations from the rules of the usual commemoration. The church charter says that if a person dies during Great Lent, then on the week, neither on the 9th nor on the 40th day, they are not commemorated, but commemorations are arranged, either on the proper Saturday following this day or on the previous Sunday . For example, if 9 days need to be celebrated on Tuesday, then it is better to collect the commemoration on the previous Sunday.

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• What to do when a loved one dies?


• Can funerals be done at home?


• Why close the mirrors in the house?


• What prayers to read for repose?


• How to organize a memorial?


• When can you visit the cemetery?


• How to pray for the dead?


• What to do on parental Saturdays and what notes of repose should be submitted?

WITH the death of loved ones… Everyone faces it sooner or later. The hour is coming when a loved one has finished his earthly journey, and his soul ascends to its Creator. In a state of grief and sadness, people sometimes get lost and do not know how to do everything right. Unfortunately, quite often relatives are limited only to holding a commemoration on memorable days and church notes about the repose. But this alone is not enough. What is our duty to the departed, how can we help our loved ones, who are no longer around? We have collected the most important advice from experienced priests and recommendations from the site http://www.memoriam.ru

How to conduct Orthodox Christian on the last journey

• If a person is diagnosed with a fatal diagnosis and loved ones already know about the inevitable death, it must be remembered that the best cooking to the transition to another world for any Christian are Confession and Communion. Since it is impossible to give communion to people who are unconscious (and the deterioration of the patient's condition can occur suddenly), you need to invite a priest in advance.


• A dying person, if he is conscious, can be given antidoron and holy water. At this moment, the prayers of loved ones are especially important.


• If the approach of death becomes apparent, a special "The Canon at the Separation of the Soul from the Body".


• After a person has rested (he has gone to the Lord in another world), you should immediately start reading "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body"(if it is not possible to invite a priest, then relatives or acquaintances can read).


• After that, it is necessary to read the Psalter (preferably until the removal of the body continuously and, if possible, daily until the 40th day). It is better to read to relatives, replacing each other, because thanks to this prayer they themselves receive peace and comfort from the Lord. You can also order the reading of the Psalter in a temple or monastery. If it is impossible to ensure uninterrupted reading of the Psalter, it is advisable to read it at least a few psalms a day. It's better than nothing.


• Consequences "On the Exodus of the Soul", "On the Exodus of the Soul" and the Psalter need not be read directly in front of the dying person. If a person dies in the hospital, you can pray at home. The main thing is to help close prayer in those difficult moments for his soul.


• If a person rested on bright week e (from the day of Holy Pascha to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then instead of the canon “After the Exodus of the Soul”, the Easter Canon is read, and instead of the Psalter, the Acts of the Holy Apostles.


• The coffin is usually placed facing east. You can follow this tradition.


• The deceased must wear a pectoral cross.


• Burial clothes are chosen according to the mundane status of the deceased. The military, firefighters, policemen usually rely on the coffin in uniform, the laity - in any clothes at the discretion of relatives or according to the will of the newly deceased. A shroud or church cover is traditionally used to cover the body.


• Hands are folded on the chest, right over the left. A funeral cross is usually placed in the left, and a holy icon is placed on the chest (for men - the image of the Savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God).


• In church shops you can buy a set for burial. It usually includes: funeral clothes, aureole, permissive prayer, a cross, a candle and an icon. The chaplet is a paper strip with the image of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and John the Baptist with a prayer "Trisagion". The aureole symbolizes the faith of the deceased and his Christian life with hope in God and our prayerful hope that after the resurrection the deceased will receive a heavenly reward - an incorruptible crown from the Lord and bliss in heavenly cloisters. After the funeral, the priest puts the permissive prayer together with the cross in the hand of the deceased.


• You can prepare a set for burial in advance. Some Christians do this even during their lifetime, remembering their death, which attunes the soul to an attentive and pious spiritual life.

superstition

• There is no need to hang mirrors, computers, televisions with cloth at home, put a glass of vodka, etc. - all these are superstitions of pagan origin, which have nothing to do with Orthodoxy.


• The custom of cleaning the house after the removal of the body also does not need to be turned into a special ritual. Opinions that it is necessary to wash everything before the burial of the body to the ground and that persons who are not related by blood to the deceased should do the cleaning is also a superstition.


• The custom of leaving a glass of vodka, bread and other food in the cemetery is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox.


• IN Soviet time the custom has been established to visit the cemetery on the first day of Easter, but this is not true. With God, everyone is alive, and Easter is a special time of all-encompassing joy for believers, therefore, during the entire Easter week, prayers for the dead are not said. According to tradition, they go to the cemetery for Radonitsa (from the word "joy") - this is the ninth day after Easter, when the first memorial service is served after Easter week. We pray for our departed loved ones with hope in God's mercy and rejoice in the Bright Resurrection of Christ.

Funeral

• According to the Charter, the funeral service is performed only in the temple. Only in the event that there is no church nearby, it is possible to perform the funeral in absentia or at home.


• During the funeral according to the ancient rite of Christian burial, the priest blesses a handful of earth (sand) and sprinkles the coffin crosswise. During the funeral service in absentia, the priest passes this sand to relatives. They also need to sprinkle the body of the deceased crosswise, and if the burial has already been completed, then sprinkle it on the grave. The opinion that it is impossible to bring sand home is also a superstition.


• Christians are to accompany their loved ones on their last journey in quiet prayer; deliberate mourning, loud sobs and cries are completely inappropriate.


• There is no need to invite an orchestra for the funeral: mourning music depresses and interferes with prayer. During the transfer of the coffin to the temple for the funeral service and from the temple to the cemetery, it is usually sung "Trisagion".


• Monuments erected on the graves of deceased Christians are quite acceptable. Traditionally, crosses are placed on the graves of the Orthodox and flowers are brought.


• The inscriptions on monuments and wreaths should express not inconsolable sorrow and despair, but love and our faith. It is better to choose the words of the inscriptions from the Holy Scriptures and consult with the priest.

Funeral meals (commemoration)

• A commemoration on the day of the funeral (as well as on other established days) must be arranged according to the Church Charter. On matters of reasonable relaxation of fasting, you need to seek a blessing from the priest.


• "Commemoration" of the dead with any kind of alcohol is absolutely unacceptable and is not a church tradition.


• According to the Charter, on Sundays, twelfth holidays and weekdays Lent is not commemorated. Great Lent - are transferred to the nearest Saturday before this day. But in practice there are exceptions, so it is better to consult with the priest personally.


• The custom of remembering the dead should not turn into a simple excuse for relatives to get together, discuss the news and eat deliciously. A memorial meal is a kind of alms that the family provides not only to relatives and friends, but also to other people in need with a request to pray for the deceased. Because prayer and almsgiving are the main reason for arranging memorial meals.


• Litiya must be performed before the meal. To do this, you can invite a priest and ask him to preach a sermon for those present. If this is not possible, this rite can be performed by a clergyman or a layman.


• The first dish, which is usually eaten at the wake, is kutya (kolivo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - sweetness and bliss, which are enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the Charter, kutya should be consecrated by a priest during a memorial service; if this is not possible, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.


• Instead of a meaningless atheistic phrase: "Let the earth rest in peace to him," you need to briefly pray: “God rest, Lord, the soul of Your newly-departed servant (th) [name], and forgive him (her) all his (her) sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant the Kingdom of Heaven.”


• You can’t have idle conversations at the table, but you need to honor the memory of the deceased (hence the name - commemoration), because we remember him in prayers, remember his good deeds and good qualities.


• It is better to invite the needy first to the memorial table - the poor and the poor, children and old people. After all, initially you need to strive to create alms in memory of the deceased, and not to please friends and relatives with a good feast.

By and large, a deceased person does not need a coffin, or a grave monument, much less a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. These traditions are an external symbol of our prayer and have no meaning without it. The soul of the deceased feels a great need for our constant prayer, for it can no longer do good deeds and pray for itself. The biggest and most important thing we can do for the departed is to pray and do good deeds in honor of their blessed memory. This will be our main and invaluable help to relatives and friends who have passed into another world.

Days of Special Remembrance for the Dead

E There are special days of commemoration when special prayers are made for the deceased, which are consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave. This is the third, ninth and fortieth after death (while the day of death is considered the first).

• The third day. Commemoration is performed in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Most Holy Trinity. According to Church Tradition, for the first two days the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the angel accompanying it through the places of earthly memories. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him.


• Ninth day. Commemoration is performed in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as messengers of God and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for the pardon of the newly deceased. Accompanied by an angel, the soul enters heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. At this time, the soul forgets all sorrow. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to again present the soul to Him for worship.


• Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of God's grace-filled help. Prophet Moses received the tablets from the Lord after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until doomsday.


• Anniversary. The reason for the special commemoration of the dead on the anniversary of death is that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle. For a believer, this is a memory of a birthday for a new, eternal life.

Ecumenical requiems (Parental Saturdays)

C The Church has established special days of solemn universal commemoration of the dead, which brings great help to our deceased loved ones. At the same time, memorial services are called Ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called Ecumenical parental Saturdays.

• Saturday is meatless. This is the Saturday of Shrovetide week before Forgiveness Sunday. Devoting this week to the remembrance of the Last Judgment, the Church has established prayerful intercession not only for the living, but also for the dead Christians.


• Saturday Trinity. The commemoration was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the Descent of the Holy Spirit ended the dispensation of the salvation of man, and both the living and the dead participate in this salvation.


• Saturdays 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent. On the weekdays of Great Lent, there are no commemorations for the dead, since the full liturgy is not served at this time. Therefore, during the days of Great Lent, special Saturdays are allocated for commemoration of the deceased.


• Radonitsa. The commemoration takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas Week and serves as a remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death. Also on this day, the Church Charter for the first time after Easter is allowed to make the usual commemoration of the dead. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. From here came the name of this day - Radonitsa.

Church funeral services

• funeral service- this is a prayer service for the soul of the newly deceased, once performed over the deceased. It can be done in absentia when it is not possible to bring the body of the deceased to the temple.


• Divine Liturgy- a service at which the main prayer for the repose of Orthodox Christians is performed.


• memorial service- a prayer for the deceased, which is served after the liturgy - before the Holy Crucifixion.


• Sorokoust- this is the commemoration of the deceased at the liturgy for forty days. There are also longer periods - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal remembrance. Of course, it is better when more people pray for your loved one, so notes can be submitted an unlimited number of times in different monasteries and temples.


• There are also litany for the dead, vespers and matins (parastas).

As for the prayer for the suicidal, there is a rite of prayerful consolation for the relatives of the belly of the one who voluntarily died. In addition to performing the proposed rite, relatives and friends can take over, with the blessing of the priest, the private reading of the prayer of the Monk Leo of Optina. Most of all, the distribution of alms for them and the pious life of their relatives and friends help such dead people.

Church notes

• Before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), notes with the names of the deceased should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles are removed from the prosphora for their repose, which at the end of the liturgy are lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts.


• A cross is depicted at the top of the note, the type of commemoration is indicated below - "About repose", then the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written. The first to be mentioned are clergy and monastics with an indication of their rank (for example, On the Repose of: Patriarch Alexy, Metropolitan Proclus, Sheikhumen Savva, Archpriest Alexy, nun Vera, John, Taisia, Alexander). All names must be in church spelling (for example: not Sveta, but Photinia).


• By submitting notes, we make a donation to charitable assistance to the temple and those in need.


• Don't worry if you don't hear the names of your relatives mentioned during the service. The main commemoration takes place in the altar.

Adviсe

• On parental Saturdays, it is customary to visit churches and the graves of deceased relatives, to serve requiems and funeral litias in churches and cemeteries, to arrange memorial meals. Meanwhile, the Church strongly advises not to forget about memorable dates: the birthday of the deceased, the dates of his death and name day. These days it is necessary to remember him especially.


• There is a pious custom to receive communion on the days of memory of relatives and friends. The prayer of a person who has cleansed his soul by repentance and has approached the Holy Mysteries of Christ is especially pleasing to the Lord.


• The simplest kind of mercy is candles that are placed for repose. But it is very useful on the memorial days of the deceased to make donations, give alms to those in need with a request to pray for their deceased relative. On eve(a table next to a crucifix and a rectangular candlestick) you can bring food - this is also our alms in memory of deceased relatives.


• We receive relief of the soul through the infinite goodness of God and our holy prayers, so we should not hesitate to ask the priests and, of course, ourselves constantly pray for our departed. The ever-living soul has a great need for constant prayer. Prayer is the most important and invaluable help that we can provide to those who have departed to another world.

Commemoration at home prayer

• Home (cell) prayer for neighbors is the duty of any Christian. The Church commands us to pray daily for the repose of loved ones. Therefore, the prayer is included in the text of the morning rule: “God give rest, Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, free and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”


• Especially fervently one should pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. During this period, it is necessary to read the Psalter about the deceased, at least one kathisma per day. You can also read the funeral canon.


• It is more convenient to read the names from the commemoration book - a special booklet where the names of loved ones are recorded for church and private (home) commemoration. There is a pious custom to keep family synodics, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their ancestors.

Prayer for the dead

Give rest, Lord, to the souls of the departed Thy servants (names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven. Grant, Lord, the forgiveness of sins to all those who have departed in the faith and hope of the resurrection, our fathers, brothers and sisters, and create for them an eternal memory.

Eternal Truths

A The apostle Paul urges us not to indulge in intense grief: “I do not want to leave you, brethren, in ignorance of the dead, so that you do not grieve like others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, then God will bring those who have died in Jesus with Him.”

1 Thess. 4:13-14

IN The greatest benefit to the departed is brought by the prayers performed for them at the liturgy and the alms distributed, for nothing lent to God will perish, everything returns with great abundance.

Saint John of Damascus

M We are afraid of death because we live in negligence and do not have a clear conscience. Thus, let us begin to fear sin better, for what is fearful in death is everything from sin.

Saint John Chrysostom

WITH Strive to live in such a way that in the hour of death you will rejoice more than be afraid. We are born to die and we die to live. Love death as a friend who leads us to God.

Venerable Nil of Sinai

IN All people die, but not all die the same death. Righteous and sinful people die differently. A bad life has a bad end. A righteous person is never as close to his happiness as at death. What he wished for in life is fulfilled for him at the hour of death. Live holy to die holy.

Saint Innocent, Archbishop of Kherson and Taurida

L love spiritually unites those who are separated by place and time… It is not so much to weep for the dead as to pray that they, when they are in a blessed life, would pray for us.

Filaret, Archbishop of Chernigov

TO just as one who falls asleep in the evening awakens in the morning with a renewed vigor of life, so one who has fallen asleep with bodily death will awaken into a new, immortal life on the day of the general resurrection.

Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow

Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh consoled the relatives of the deceased with these words:

"P mourning for the dead is not Christian. Despondency and sadness break everything. To be discouraged is the lot of those who do not know God and do not believe in Him. We must pray to the Lord that He would grant the departed salvation and the Kingdom of Heaven! We think of death as parting, but we forget that death is at the same time a meeting of the soul with God, an entry into that fullness of life that is not available to anyone on earth. That is why through tears, we can rejoice for the deceased. His time of struggle and suffering, searching and sorrows, has ended, and now he is in another world, where he reigns eternal love! And we mysteriously contemplate the majestic meeting of God and man... native home where he is endlessly loved and expected.

The hour is coming when the remains of the deceased are buried in the earth, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry out. IN famous days she prays for the deceased and brings a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of commemoration are the third, ninth and fortieth (while the day of death is considered the first). Commemoration these days is consecrated by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave.

The third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her to those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house where the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul, on the other hand, walks in those places where it used to do the right thing. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him, the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul, which appeared before the face of the Just, is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the deceased.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. For this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the enjoyment of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How busy I am in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too would be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas, poor me!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. With fear and trembling the soul stands before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. The prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of God, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - for earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until the Last Judgment. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They blot out the sins of the deceased and ask his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed holidays are repeated again. Death anniversary loved one is always celebrated with at least a heartfelt commemoration by his loving relatives and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

Ecumenical funeral service (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away from the age of faith, who have been honored with a Christian death, as well as those who, having been overtaken by sudden death, were not sent to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The requiems performed at the same time, indicated by the charter of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Saturday is meatless. Dedicating the Meat-Feast Week to the remembrance of the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for her living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all genera, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death. and pray to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers, and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the Church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all who die in the faith. And communion with them through prayer, prayerful commemoration of them is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all the dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of the salvation of man, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is alive.” ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church dedicates to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. St. Basil the Great, who compiled the touching prayers for the Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord, most of all, on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Holy Forty Days. On Holy Forty Days - the days of Great Lent, spiritual feat, the feat of repentance and doing good to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemoration on the appointed days of those who have departed from this life. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church to commemorate the departed also for the reason that no funeral commemorations are performed on the weekly days of Great Lent (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, forty-mouthed), since there is no daily full liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the dead is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of Holy Forty Days, the indicated Saturdays are singled out.

Radonitsa. The basis of the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas' week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. Thomas Sunday, on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration after Holy and Bright weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of commemoration is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet times, the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after an earnest prayer for their repose in the temple - after a memorial service served in the church. During the Easter week there are no requiems, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Paschal week, litanies for the dead are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

CHURCH FUNERAL SERVICES

It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The Church performs the main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), a note with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be taken out of the prosphora, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy cup and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest good that we can give to those who are dear to us. Here is how the commemoration at the liturgy is said in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before being separated from real life, only those who did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayerful vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in deeds of love for God and neighbor), - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer for what they have done sins of punishment, without losing, however, the hope of relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and good works done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergy brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church daily brings.

At the top of the note is usually placed an eight-pointed Orthodox cross. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - “On the repose”, after which the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written in large, legible handwriting (to answer the question “who?”), With the clergy and monastics mentioned first, indicating the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, Schemagumen Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrey, Nina).

All names must be given in church spelling (for example, Tatiana, Alexy) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).

The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more carefully. Therefore, it is better to submit several notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.

By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of the monastery or temple. To avoid confusion, remember that the difference in prices (registered or simple notes) only reflects the difference in the amount of the donation. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the names of your relatives mentioned in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place on the proskomedia, when particles are taken out of the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your commemoration book and pray for loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.

After the liturgy, you can serve a memorial service. A memorial service is served before the eve - a special table with the image of a crucifix and rows of candlesticks. Here you can also leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the departed loved ones.

It is very important after death to order a magpie in the temple - an unceasing commemoration at the liturgy for forty days. At the end of the magpie, you can order again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (as long as the monastery stands) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (this is an ancient Orthodox custom). Than in more temples will be offered a prayer, the better for our neighbor!

It is very useful on the memorable days of the deceased to donate to the church, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificed food. You can't just bring it on the eve meat food and alcohol (except church wine). The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle that is placed on his repose.

Understanding that the most we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of commemoration at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and do works of mercy.

REMEMBERING THE DEAD AT HOME PRAYER

Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need, by and large, either a coffin, or a grave monument, and even more so a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for she cannot do good deeds herself, with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Prayer at home for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox. St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the departed: “If the all-pervading Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this not mean that it is still allowed to throw a rope, although not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and maybe often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shore of temporal life, but have not reached the eternal home? Salvatory for those souls who vacillate over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now plunging into deeds unworthy of it, now exalted by grace, now being brought down by the remains of a damaged nature, now ascending by Divine desire, now becoming entangled in coarse, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts ... "

The home prayer commemoration of the deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section “Reading the Psalter for the Dead”, during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading an akathist for the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for the deceased parents, relatives, known and benefactors. For this, the following is included in the number of daily morning prayers: short prayer:

Prayer for the dead

Give rest, O Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read the names from the commemorative book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom to keep family commemorations, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their deceased ancestors by name.

FUNERAL MEAL

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss the news, eat tasty food, while Orthodox Christians should also pray for the departed at the memorial table.

Before the meal, one should perform a lithium - a short rite of memorial service, which can be performed by a layman. In extreme cases, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish that is eaten at the wake is kutya (kolyovo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains are a symbol of resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutya should be consecrated with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.

Naturally, the desire of the owners to treat everyone who came to the commemoration to taste better. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat the allowed food: on Wednesday, Friday, during long fasts - do not eat fast. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is transferred to the next Saturday or Sunday.

It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially from vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not commemorated with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who may suffer greatly in the afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that "drunken" commemorations often turn into an ugly gathering, where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread “for the deceased” at the table is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

On the contrary, there are pious practices worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the poor and the poor, children and old women are the first to sit down at the memorial table. They can also distribute clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of evidence from the afterlife about the great help to the dead as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to begin to live the life of an Orthodox Christian.

Thus, one now living archimandrite relates the following incident from his pastoral practice.

"It was in difficult post-war years. Comes to me, the rector of the village church, a mother crying with grief, in which her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed of her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "Are any of his clothes left?" - "Yes, sure". - "Give it to your friends Mishin, they will surely come in handy."

A few days later, she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the same clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked, but now complained of hunger. I advised to make a memorial meal for the village children - Misha's friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, but what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman, than she could, treated the children.

She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and full, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, to the best of her ability and ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”

Calendar dates of Russian holidays. - Memorial table at Christmas time. - Kutia and pancakes as ritual dishes. - The custom is to call the dead to warm themselves. - Shrovetide ceremonial food. - Farewell to the dead on Maslenitsa. - Wake at the graves on Trinity. - Feast of Navi Day and Radunitsa. - Commemoration at other times. - Conclusions and offers.

Starting to study Russian holidays, we observe that some of them took place on the same dates from year to year, while others were celebrated on different days. The first were determined by the turning days of the solar calendar. Christmas time (Church Christmas) was celebrated during the winter solstice, the meeting of spring - at the time of the vernal equinox. Ivan Kupalo fell on the summer solstice. Less definitely can be said about the celebration of the autumnal equinox. Let us note right away that each of these four terms for different peoples at different times could serve and actually served as the day from which it was calculated. New Year.

The dates of other holidays were also determined astronomically, but they are not associated with the days of the solstice and equinoxes, but with the calculation of the day of Easter. Easter Day was calculated according to special rules and could be celebrated no earlier than March 22 and no later than April 25, according to the old style. Shrovetide, which was celebrated seven weeks before Easter, and the Trinity, which was celebrated seven weeks after Easter, were deducted from Easter.

The connection of holidays with calendar dates is a problem that we will not resolve now. It will be resolved by studying the holidays themselves. This connection has nothing to do with the essence of the Christian religion. But, as we will see, it is not connected with the cult of the sun, although it is determined by the solar calendar.

In order to better understand the timing of the festivities in Russia, it must be borne in mind that in the history of Russia, various systems of time calculation alternated, and sometimes coexisted. There were church, civil and folk calendars, which did not always coincide. IN Ancient Rus' the civil new year began in March. This date was brought to us from outside; it did not correspond either to the economic structure of Russia, or to the labor skills of the Central and North Russian peasantry. The church, based on some texts of biblical legend, counted the new year from September. In fact, both of these dates are determined by the turning points of the solar calendar: the spring and autumn equinoxes. As a result of disputes about the beginning of the new year at the cathedral in Moscow under Simeon the Proud and Metropolitan Theognost in 1348, it was determined that both the church and the civil year should begin on September 1. This order lasted until the reign of PeterI. Decree of Peter Idated December 19, 1699, the new year began to be calculated from January 1. Thus, 1699 lasted only 4 months. The Church Disobeyed Peter's Order I, since the saints, whose memory was celebrated in the fallen months, for 1699 remained without their holidays.

Along with this, traces of the older solar calendar did not disappear among the peasant woman. According to him, the new year began with the winter solstice. Neither the civil nor the church New Year were considered holidays in the old peasant life. The true holiday was the day when the sun turned to the new light. From this moment begins an almost uninterrupted chain of various ritual festivities.

We cannot, of course, expect the Russian peasantry to know the day of the solstice with astronomical accuracy. The Monk Spyridon Trimifuntsky, aka Spyridon Saltwater, was venerated, whose memory was celebrated on December 12. According to the Julian calendar, this day really once fell on the winter solstice. From that day on, the light began to arrive: "Non the sun will go on in the summer, and in the winter in the frost." Theoretically, from December 12, the beginning of the New Year festivities would be expected. However, the celebration of the birth of Christ on December 25, established by the Byzantine church, led to the fact that it was from this day that folk holidays began.

The first of the cycle of folk holidays were "Christmas time", or "Kolyada". They lasted from Christmas Eve, that is, the evening of December 24, until the Baptism of Christ, that is, until January 6.

We will consider some of the main features of this holiday and trace them to other holidays.

The celebration of Christmas began with a gala dinner. A close study of this moment leaves no doubt that this dinner is a memorial table. The commemoration of the dead in various forms is one of the constant elements of agrarian ritual festivities, which gives grounds to start the study with this particular custom.

True, in many cases it is only reported that before the appearance of the first star they do not eat anything, and then sit down at the table. The solemn meal on this day is both lunch and dinner. They eat "meat" - sausage, pork, and there seem to be no ritual signs. Nevertheless, when studying the details, the ritual character of this meal becomes clear. Many observers report that one of the indispensable dishes on this day is kutya. Kutya is sometimes called the holiday itself. A. I. Petropavlovsky reports on the Belarusian custom: “During the carols there are three kuti: the first is Lenten, before Christmas, the second is modest, otherwise rich, on New Year’s Eve, and the third is Lenten, for baptism.” Belarusians called New Year's kutia "generous" or "rich", since December 31 was called "generous evening". The Russians had a slightly different order: “rich” kutya was sometimes called Christmas Eve.

There is a lot of evidence that kutya was eaten on Christmas Eve. I. P. Sakharov writes: “For the evening meal, porridge is still prepared from cereals, and from millet and barley - Sochelnitskaya kutya.” About the same A. A. Makarenko reports from Siberia: “In supper eat cabbage, kvass and kutya". Kutya was sometimes placed not on the table, but in the front corner under the image, along with an unthreshed sheaf of rye. In Byelorussia this custom is more clearly expressed, or perhaps better recorded, than among the Great Russians. P. V. Shein cites an entry from the Smolensk province: “The main and necessary dish at this dinner is kutya.” A.P. Minkh observed the following among the Ukrainians of the Saratov province: “On Christmas Eve, on the eve of Christmas, the Little Russians cook swara and kutya; on this day they do not eat anything until the evening dawn; as soon as a star rises, they put kutya and swara on the table, light a candle in front of the icons, everyone kneels and asks God to send them a good harvest of bread, prosperity to their livestock and health to themselves. D.K. Zelenin, summing up the Great Russian, Belarusian and Ukrainian materials he examined, comes to the conclusion that “the ritual dishes of the East Slavic Christmas holiday leave no doubt that this holiday was once a commemoration, was dedicated to the cult of ancestors.” It is well known that kutia is an indispensable accessory of the funeral rite and commemoration. At the same time, it was sometimes used at weddings, homelands (birth celebrations) and christenings. Why, however, does kutya serve as a funeral meal, which is also eaten at weddings and at the birth of children? Kutya, as a rule, was cooked from whole, unbroken grains - most often wheat. In cities where wheat is usually not available, it has been replaced by rice. If we assume that kutya was prepared from seed, we will come closer to understanding this rite. Grain has the ability to preserve and recreate life for a long time, multiplying it. Seed - plant - seed constitute the eternal cycle, which testifies to the perpetuity of life. By eating, people join this process. In the animal world, grain or seed, from the point of view of the peasant, corresponds to an egg that has the same amazing property like a seed: it preserves, contains life and recreates it. Below we will see that eggs were indeed widely used in the funeral cult of all peoples as a sign of immortality. Berries were usually mixed with kutya (bird cherry, in urban use - raisins). The berries are the same seed clothed with fruit. All this explains why kutya was used at weddings, the birth of children and death. It marks the constancy of the rebirth of life, despite death.

Another sign of the memorial table is that on this day pancakes were served, which, as you know, also represent a memorial meal. P. S. Efimenko, who observed the custom of eating pancakes at Christmas in the north, believes that the Slavs, like other peoples, commemorated the dead with pancakes and imagined that the dead at this time get up and eat them together with the living. This custom is better recorded among Belarusians than among Russians, who haveXXV. he was beginning to be forgotten. “Since this day is also the day of commemoration of deceased relatives, in addition to kutya, cakes and pancakes are baked,” reports P.V. Shein from the Smolensk province.

Why pancakes were used at the commemoration - this question can only be answered tentatively. In any case, not because they resemble the sun with their round shape and should serve as a magical means for the return of the sun after winter, as some researchers think. At the same time, pancakes should have a different ritual meaning than kutya, since they are not interchangeable, but are used in parallel. Apparently, pancakes are the oldest form of baked flour food. Before they knew how to bake bread, they mixed flour with water, made batter and splashed it in portions on hot stones. Thus, pancakes by origin are not a magical food, like kutya, but an ancient, archaic dish, a means of satiation that has received ritual use.

Considering the Christmas evening meal as a memorial table, it must be pointed out that in this case it is not about commemorating the dead in general, but about the dead of one's family, one's ancestors.

In Belorussia, P. V. Shein's correspondents recorded some other details that remove the last doubts about the nature of this table. P. V. Shein reports that in the Grodno province, those sitting at the table drank from one circular chara, and each, before kissing, splashed a little on the table. "Also, the first spoonful of liquid food is poured directly onto the table - all for the dead." This is undoubtedly a very ancient, subsequently forgotten custom. This was done, for example, by the pious Romans, who believed that lares, or penates, deified ancestors, participated in their meals. They were given the first bite of food, the first sip of drinks. All this shows that the dead ancestors were thought to be present at the meal. They also remembered the dead who had no descendants. It was believed that the souls of such dead people roamed the streets, and for them pancakes were put out the dormer window. A rethinking of this custom can be a case that A. I. Petropavlovsky observed among the Belarusians: “On the third kutya in the evening [i.e. e. January 5], when the whole family is at the “evening”, the owner looks out the window and calls “frost” from the street to visit. “Frost, frost, eat kutya,” while the owner asks the frost not to freeze the buckwheat crops, otherwise he threatens him with a whip: “we will beat him with an iron scarecrow.”

At Christmas time, in some places, another was also observed, inXIXV. an already almost extinct rite - to kindle large fires and call the dead to warm themselves. It was studied in detail by D.K. Zelenin, who, for example, reproduces the manuscript of 1852, which says that “on December 24, fires are lit in the courtyards, believing that the deceased parents come to warm themselves and that wheat will be born from this fire.” S. V. Maksimov describes it as follows: “The ways of remembering deceased parents are extremely diverse, and one of them is called “warming parents.” It is practiced in many places (by the way, in the Tambov and Oryol provinces) and consists in the fact that on the first day of Christmas; among the yards, a wagon of straw falls down and lights up, in that blind certainty that the dead at this time rise from their graves and come to warm themselves. During this rite, all household members stand in deep silence and a concentrated prayerful mood. But in other places near these fires, holding hands, they spin merrily as in a round dance on the rainbow.

From the 1852 manuscript reproduced by D.K. Zelenin, the last lines are especially interesting for us. They show that the ritual of heating the ancestors was carried out in order to get a good harvest. We can assume that not only this, but also other rites of the funeral cult were aimed at influencing the harvest. It will be possible to talk about this in more detail after similar ceremonies are considered at other times.

The next holiday after Christmas is Shrovetide. "Wide Shrovetide" is reputed to be the most cheerful, most reckless holiday of the year. However, the customs of honoring ancestors were also observed at Shrove Tuesday.

In the light of the foregoing, one can think that Shrovetide pancakes, as well as Christmas ones, are a memorial meal. I. P. Sakharov, I. M. Snegirev and later researchers write about this. “Special food: Maslenitsa, pancakes,” writes Vs. Miller, - as you know, one of the special attributes of the commemoration. There are numerous testimonies about this. D.K. Zelenin writes: “Shrovetide was once, like Christmas time, a memorial holiday. For this, no doubt, says the usual ritual food - pancakes. In fact, as we will see, Maslenitsa is a complex, complex holiday. Remembrance is only one of its constituent parts.

Just as at Christmas time the first sip was dedicated to the ancestors, so was the first pancake at Shrove Tuesday: “In Tambov and other provinces, the first pancake baked on Cheese Week is placed on the dormer window for the souls of the parents.” In other places, the first pancake was given to the poor brethren - in remembrance of the dead. "Pious women, sitting down at the table, eat the first pancake for the repose of the dead."

The veneration of ancestors at Shrove Tuesday is also known in other forms. On the last day of Shrovetide week before fasting, there was a custom to go to each other to say goodbye, that is, to ask for forgiveness for all the sins before their loved ones. The younger ones bowed at the feet of the elders, the servants - to the masters, and asked to forgive them for all their faults before them. This custom was applied not only to the living, but even to the dead. “On a farewell day, they go to the cemetery, serve a memorial service and worship the ashes of relatives.” We will cite the testimony of S. V. Maksimov, which is a summary of the materials collected by him or transferred to him. “... The custom of saying goodbye to the dead is extremely firmly held ... The custom of going to the cemetery on the last day of Shrovetide is supported mainly by women. At four o'clock in the afternoon they go in groups of 10-12 people with pancakes to the dead and try not to say anything along the way. At the cemetery, each one looks for her own grave, kneels down and bows three times, and whispers with tears in her eyes: “Forgive me (the name of the rivers), forget everything that I have rude and harmed you.” After praying, the women put pancakes on the grave (and sometimes they also put vodka) and go home as silently as they came.

The commemoration was also carried out on the Russian or Semitsk week preceding the Trinity. “In the old days, our old people went to meet Semik at the graves of their parents, where, after the commemoration, they and their families ate fried eggs and drachens” (Sakharov). This picture is typical. It shows that the closer to spring, the more pronounced was the commemoration. At Christmas time, it was performed in houses, at Shrove Tuesday it was taken out to cemeteries, and the Trinity rites serve as a continuation of this. In the north, the deceased was commemorated first in churches, then on graves, where even feasts could be made. So, P. S. Efimenko reports that in the Pinezhsky district, “in addition to the sacred commemoration, the dead are commemorated with pancakes, pancakes, salad and kutya. Kutya is eaten with the blessing of the priest.” P.V. Shein was written to the Vladimir province that here for seven “in the morning a custom has been established to commemorate the dead, and the afternoon, together with the evening, is finally given over to fun and reckless songs of carefree youth.” We have, apparently, dilapidated and faded forms of the once highly developed ancestor cult. We can judge this by the very vivid description in Stoglav, where, under the 23rd question, it says: “On Trinity Saturday, men and women converge in the villages and graveyards on the pity and cry over the coffin with great lamentation. And when the buffoons, and the buffoons and the horns, begin to play, they, rearrange from crying, will begin to gallop and dance and beat and songs of satanic piebalds in the palms; on the same zhalniki deceivers and swindlers.

It is also necessary to mention that the funeral of the dead was arranged on Trinity, who for some reason were not buried during the year. So, in times of war, plague, famine, the dead in "poor houses", "poor houses", "God's houses" fell into a common pit dug in a barn. This was done to protect against infection and to protect corpses from desecration, and also because it was difficult to bury in the frozen ground in winter. In Semik, these corpses were sewn into matting, coffins were made for them and buried.

What Stoglav reports about Trinity, Saturday, applies equally to the Navi day and Radunitsa, when the funeral rites reached their climax. Navi day and Radunitsa fell on Fomin's week. This was the name of the first week after Easter, because according to the Gospel this week, the Apostle Thomas expressed doubt that Christ had really risen in the flesh, but Christ seemed to put his fingers into his wound, after which Thomas stood up. Monday this week was called Navi Day (Tuesday - Radunitsa. The difference in names, apparently, did not mean a difference in essence. InXIXV. Navi day is almost forgotten and is rare, but Radunitsa coped in very bright forms. It can be said that inXIXV. they are completely merged. The specified dates - Monday and Tuesday on St. Thomas' week - were optional. The commemoration characteristic of Radunitsa could, for example, be performed on Easter day. For Belarusians, Radunitsa fell on Thursday of the Easter week. The word "Naviy" in the Old Russian language meant "referring to the dead." In the ancient Czech language "unaviti" meant "to kill", the Ukrainian "nava" means "coffin". E. F. Karsky and some others point to similar words in Lithuanian and other languages, leaving no doubt about the meaning of this word in Russian. In Ukraine, Fomin Monday was called "graves", "coffins" or "wires".

The etymology of the word "radonitsa" (radonitsa, radonitsa, radovnitsa, etc.) is less clear. Most linguists bring it closer to the root "glad", but such an interpretation does not help much in revealing the concept itself, since it is not clear what, in fact, they are happy about. IP Kalinsky, for example, believes that this word expresses the joy of the dead that they are not forgotten. A. A. Potebnya brings it closer to the root “genus”, which also does not reveal the content of the word in folk use.

The customs performed on these days are generally described in the same way. Radunitsa was a national holiday. The whole village went to the cemetery to the graves of their loved ones. The women on the graves lamented. The lamentations included memories of the deceased, as was the case with mourning after death. They "with weeping and sobbing appealed to their souls, singing their virtues." Food and drink were brought to the graves. Kutia, pies, kalachi, pancakes, cheesecakes, colored eggs, wine, beer, kanun (kind of mash), etc. are mentioned. Food was shared with the dead: eggs, pancakes and other treats were crumbled on the graves and left there. Oil, wine, beer were poured on the graves; all this was done "dead for food". They christened with the dead, believing that they could hear them. Eggs were rolled over the grave. After that, they themselves applied themselves to food and drink, and sadness turned into fun, which could end in revelry. "The triumph of Radunitsa consisted in the proper sense of a general revelry and playfulness." I. P. Kalinsky writes: “Not without reason Karamzin notices that our people, following the pagan rite, commit gluttony and libation over the dead in honor of them, and that, consequently, our parental commemoration resembles an ancient pagan commemoration ceremony that took place in early spring , and in general the ancient feast. On Radunitsa they sang songs and danced round dances. There is a saying: “They plow on Radunitsa in the morning, cry in the afternoon, and jump in the evening.” E.F. Karsky reports about Belarusians: “A memorial table is immediately arranged, often turning into various obscene entertainments under the influence of drunk wine in abundance.” The transition from weeping to fun and the nature of this fun will occupy us below, when we study the farewell to Shrovetide and other similar rites. Radunitsa is an ancient holiday. In the 62nd word of John Chrysostom (IVc.) it is said that the commemoration of the dead on St. Thomas' week was established by the church in remembrance of the descent of Christ into hell, but this holiday is by no means a church holiday, but completely pagan. In the annals, the rainbow was first mentioned in 1372 (Trinity Chronicle) and later on is sometimes used as a calendar date. In Stoglav, the rainbow, like other holidays that can be attributed to pagan origin, was prohibited. The answer to the 25th question reads: “So that the days of hailing on the rainbow do not work on the great and are not reproached with bad speeches.”

With Radunitsa, the ritual commemoration of the dead ceased. For Ivan Kupala, for example, there are no signs of a wake.

True, the church also established some other dates when it was supposed to commemorate the dead, but these dates were precisely of a church nature. Several "parental Saturdays" and days of "ecumenical memorial services" were established, when it was supposed to commemorate the dead, which was performed by believers (on Saturday before Peter's Day - June 29, on Saturday before the Dormition - August 15 and on some other days), but not a single Of these commemorations established by the church, it cannot even remotely compare with what was done on these holidays. Ethnographers, collectors and researchers of folklore do not report any rituals these days. Some exception is only the so-called Dmitrievskaya Saturday, established after the Battle of Kulikovo by Dmitry Donskoy in memory of those who fell in this battle and celebrated on Saturday between October 18 and 26, probably because October 26 was revered as the day of Dmitry Solunsky. On this day, their dead were widely commemorated in cemeteries, which gave I. M. Snegirev a reason to bring him closer to the rainbow.

What conclusions can be drawn from the given materials? How to explain the stubborn, with the onset of spring, the ever-increasing desire to honor their ancestors?

The desire from time to time to remember their loved ones who are in the graves, as if quite naturally, is explained by love for loved ones; lamentations and cries were firmly part of the life of the Russian peasant. We have an outpouring of feelings of sorrow, a desire to honor the memory of the departed in the way it has been done from time immemorial. There is no particular problem with this. The problem is that this celebration was performed on certain days of the solar calendar. It began at the winter solstice and ended at the time of the summer solstice.

The available explanations cannot satisfy us. So, I. P. Kalinsky, referring to A. N. Afanasyev, writes: “As for the reasons why our ancestors chose the beginning of spring to commemorate the dead, it is likely that in this case they held to that common belief that the spring time of the universal the awakening of nature was sometimes the awakening of the souls themselves from the dark gates of hell.

Our materials lead us to another assumption. The time between the two solstice is the time of the awakening of the forces of the earth, which are needed by the farmer. The cult of the dead stands in connection with agricultural interests and aspirations. Russian rites do not show directly what exactly the connection was here. Russian material is survival material. In order to decide what ideas determined the performance of these rites, what is their mental basis and purpose, one must turn to those peoples where these ideas and rites were not a surviving, but a living phenomenon.

The similarity between the agricultural rites of antiquity and later Europe, including Rus', has long been noted. This does not mean that everything can be explained by borrowing; this means that there is some regular connection between the forms of labor and the forms of thought.

According to ancient ideas, death as a complete cessation of existence was not. The dead allegedly continued to live underground and had more power over it than a farmer who walked on it with a plow. From the depths of the earth, the dead could send a harvest or a crop failure, they could force the earth to give birth or delay its forces. They turned into a kind of chthonic deities. Speaking about the souls of the dead, the German researcher of antiquity Rode writes: “They are expected to help in any need; in particular, they believe that they, like the chthonic gods, into whose region they descended, bring blessing and abundance to the fields. The expression "soul" must be attributed to the author's idealistic views. Usually not "souls", but the dead themselves, who are underground in the graves, were the subject of a cult. Another researcher of antiquity, Dieterich, expresses himself more cautiously: “The dead in the earth, spirits or souls, if you like, contribute to the growth of the fruits of the earth; they are prayed to be sent away.” The words "if you like" indicate that the researcher is making a concession here to the prevailing opinion in German science, but that he himself does not think so.

The earth and the dead in it, as it were, merge into one. “The farmer,” writes B. L. Bogaevsky, “like every person of antiquity, saw that the earth “covered” plantings and crops with its surface, contained them in itself and poured them out from its huge vessel. Also, the land ... contained ... and the graves of the dead, who took care of the crops and plantings. From all this it is clear that, according to Greek ideas, the dead, being underground, could have power over the harvest. These ideas bring to life the spring agricultural rites dedicated to the dead. This was the case not only among the Greeks and Romans, but also among the ancient Slavs. That is why care for crops is combined with care for the dead and is of a twofold nature: the deceased must be propitiated, one must express one's love and reverence to them. But this is not enough. They must be supported with food, drink and warmth, they must have meals with them, they must leave food on their graves, make libations from wine and oil. But even this is not enough. It is necessary to provide them not only with life, but also with immortality. Gotta put them in the loop life - death - life, which nature lives on and which the farmer needs, it is necessary that they themselves contribute to this cycle. Hence, as we have seen, such ritual dishes as kutia and eggs. A wide variety of representations are associated with the egg. But in the Russian funeral cult only one of them is reflected: the ability to recreate, resurrect life. As a symbol of the resurrection, it was consecrated by the church, and therefore was used especially widely during Easter and immediately after it; the rainbow, when eggs were crumbled on the graves, fell on the first week after Easter. The resurrection of the deity, the resurrection of nature and its forces, the guardians and bearers of which were considered to be those who were in the earth, but still not quite dead ancestors - all this merges into one stream of rituals and customs, very clear in their agrarian orientation. As we will see below, this flow also includes the sudden transition from crying to fun, which we observe on Radunitsa.

By the day of the summer solstice, that is, by the time when the sun is at its zenith, and the earth is in the prime of its powers, no appeals to underground helpers are needed anymore. They have either done or not done their job, and their commemoration stops until the new solstice, when they again begin to honor their ancestors at the table and on the graves.

This original meaning of funeral rites has long been forgotten, but they were performed out of habit, according to tradition, supported by a natural desire to remember their departed loved ones and honor them.

/ Quoted from: Propp V.Ya. Russian agricultural holidays. Experience of historical and ethnographic research. - M.: "Labyrinth", 2004./

Number of entries: 276

Father, the next day after the funeral, relatives go to the grave and bring the deceased "eat." Where did it come from? And is it true?

Valentine

Valentine, by church charter we commemorate the dead on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days. When we go to the grave, it is necessary to pray, to serve a memorial service. Why does the dead need food? We, the living, need food, and they only need a prayer for the repose of her soul. It is, of course, wrong to carry food to the grave of the deceased. This is a pagan tradition. It especially began to spread after the revolution, when it was forbidden to talk about God, to be baptized, to pray and to serve memorial services at the grave. People began to carry food to the grave (instead of prayer), pour vodka on the grave, leave a glass of vodka - well, why all this? The deceased needs our prayer and alms for his soul, good deeds in his memory.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello! On March 23, my husband will be 40 days old, he is unbaptized, I read a prayer at home, I received a blessing from the priest, but tell me, please, can I go to the cemetery on the 40th day, because there will be a fast? Since it will be Saturday and my children are not in kindergarten and school, when can they distribute candy (after or before 40 days)? Thank you very much, I'm sorry if my letter was a little incorrect.

Veronica

Veronica, as you already know that in the church they don't pray for unbaptized people. Those who are not baptized are not members of the church. No one forbids you to pray for them at home, and of course, you can go to the cemetery whenever you want. It is not customary to go to the cemetery on Sundays, on major church holidays and on Easter. The best day is Saturday. All parental commemorations are performed on Saturday. You can always give alms for the dead, but most of all it must be done up to 40 days.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Good afternoon, I would like to consult. March 20 will be the year since my father passed away. What is the correct date for a funeral dinner? March 20 falls on the first week of Lent. At the church, I ordered Mass for the 20th. Who says that on Forgiveness Sunday is also impossible. Who says later is impossible, only earlier. Please tell me. Thank you in advance.

Michael

Michael, the most important thing is not a memorial dinner, but our prayer for our close relatives. On the day of March 20, according to the church charter, Liturgy (mass) is not allowed. You need to serve a memorial service and attend it yourself. On March 18, Great (strict) Lent begins and, of course, on March 20, they do not arrange a memorial meal. A memorial meal can be made on March 17, at Shrovetide, there is nothing wrong with that. But we must remember that meat products are not supposed to be consumed on Shrovetide, all products, except meat, can be used.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello! My grandmother died on February 28, 9 days falls on March 8. Our priest said that the memorial dinner could be held on March 9, because it would be a memorial Saturday. But it will already be 10 days from the date of death. Is it possible?

Vasilenko Larisa

Larisa, perhaps your father is right, but I would clarify his advice a little: so that your conscience is not embarrassed, come to the service on March 8, pray for your grandmother at the lithium, which will be performed at the end of the morning service, and submit a note of repose at the Saturday Liturgy . On Saturday it is also very desirable to be in the service, and after it at home you can also arrange a memorial meal - on Saturday the fast is weakened, and besides, many have a day off, which is convenient.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Father, bless! My husband and I are married, we constantly attended services in our church. Lived for almost 15 years. But he went to another city to his mother (a dysfunctional family) on the anniversary of his brother's death. Remembrance, which is natural for such a family, took place with drinking alcohol. Fell into fornication. He returned, but behaved like a zombie, could not stay at home for a long time, and flew out of the house, as if spellbound. All the friends who saw him during this time said that he had become some other. I suspect that that woman bewitched him, before that he had unnatural behavior. Also know that she herself uses drugs and is a particular dysfunctional lifestyle. I am offended that he left me, but I also feel sorry for him that he will lead the same way of life with her, leading to hell, if he does not repent. Father, what should I do - shoot the wedding, or somehow pray for the salvation of his soul and the restoration of our marriage?

Faith

Hello Vera. This misfortune happened because both your wedding and your church life were mechanical, according to custom. It is supposed to get married - got married. It is supposed to go to the holiday - they went. They confessed and took communion. But there was no spiritual life. There was no effort required to enter the Kingdom of God. And that is why the grace given in the Sacraments has not transformed you at all. She remained barren. And now you continue to look not inward but outward - "bewitched", "bewitched", all the reasons are somewhere outside. The passion of fornication is very evil and strong, whoever gave himself into her power, even if he repents and begins to struggle against her, will have sorrows for many years. And if he does not repent, or repents, but does not make any efforts to fight against it, then he will perish. You can only pray. And, above all, pray for yourself: "Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me." Only the one who purifies his soul can help another in the same way.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello Abbot Nikon! I turned to you with a question about the death of my daughter and the melted-down icon-pendant. You say that this is not a punishment, but why do young, kind people die, loving life people under the wheels of drunkards? What is it - fate, God's providence or human stupidity?

Olga

Olga, let's better not grumble at God and not be angry with Him because here, on earth, something is not clear and unfair in our opinion, but listen to ourselves and save ourselves - this is, in fact, the Lord Himself said to St. Anthony the Great, when he began to ask such questions. We have a whole load of our own sins, and to figure out what and why there is not enough time, the time for our correction is measured out to spare. But when we reach Paradise, then we will understand everything.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello. When my mother was buried, she had an icon in her hands. What should I do with her? Thank you.

Ludmila

Lyudmila, an icon is a Holy image of the Mother of God, and we should keep icons at home (make a red corner) and pray for icons. The fact that the icon was in the hands of the deceased is nothing to worry about. An icon is a Shrine, and any Shrine is only good for a person.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, I have such a question, my grandmother died on 09/02/2012, and now, on 03/02/2013 it will be exactly half a year, as she is gone, is it possible to hold a commemoration for six months, and do they commemorate the deceased when he is not with us for six months?

Diana

Diana, in Orthodox Church there is no such tradition, these are some "Soviet" innovations and fantasies. You can commemorate the deceased at least every day - both with funeral services and personal prayer - but you don’t need to arrange anything special for six months.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father. My niece died, she is 40 years old, but she is not baptized. Before his death, they invited the priest, he read prayers, said, wait another half an hour, told his mother to read the Mother of God, while her mother read, the niece stopped breathing. So, she remained unbaptized, how can we commemorate her now?

Valentine

Valentina, you can commemorate your niece at home prayer, give alms in memory of her soul and do other good deeds.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father! Uncle died March 3 (Sunday), funeral March 7. And they decided to organize a memorial 9 days on March 10 (Sunday). But after all, there are no 9 days yet, or is it not forbidden? Tell me, what kind of memorial service to order? What else to do? My uncle was a deeply religious man. Thank you.

Natalia

Hello Natalia! The memorial meal can also be moved to a day convenient for you. The main thing for the dead is our prayer. Order a magpie for the repose, a memorial service and a Psalter for the deceased. And, of course, if the uncle was baptized, a funeral service in the church is necessary.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

My mother-in-law died two weeks ago, her son has a birthday, can we sit at home in a very narrow circle, celebrate? Modestly, without music.

Tatiana

Tatyana, for the first forty days the soul goes through aerial ordeals (this is the test of the soul for the life it has lived), and the soul needs our help - we must pray for it at home, and especially in church. You need to pray every day until the fortieth day. And of course, there can be no talk of any birthdays. You can celebrate a birthday only after 40 days.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

My daughter died on July 15, 2012 in an accident. She was christened. She was only a year and a month old. Sinless soul. Tell me, who is now patronizing her daughter? Which saint to pray? Thank you.

Irina

Irina, indeed, in the church it is customary to understand that baptized sinless babies who have passed away immediately go to the Kingdom of Heaven, and they become Angels there and pray for their kind. You didn't write your daughter's name. Every Christian has a name in honor of the Saint, which is given to him at baptism. Your daughter must have had a Saint for whom she was named. The Patron Saint is determined at the time of baptism and he is appointed based on which Saint is commemorated on the day after birth. Now I can't tell you this, I had to find out from the priest at the time of baptism, and besides, I don't know what your daughter's name was. Pray to the Saint in whose honor your daughter was named.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Dear father, my dad died, he falls for 40 days on March 22, what should I do? Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Please tell me. Thank you in advance.

Alyona

Alena, for the first forty days, the soul especially needs our help, our prayer and the prayer of the church. The 40th day is the most important for the deceased, on this day they determine where to settle the soul, in heaven or hell. It all depends on what kind of life a person has led, and our prayer on this day is simply necessary. On March 22, it is necessary to serve a memorial service in the church and pray on this day, submit a registered note for the Liturgy and attend the service yourself. You don't need to transfer. March 22 is the first week of the Great (strictly) Lent and this day should not be commemorated. The commemoration itself can be postponed to March 24 and you need to remember that this is a strict fast, meat, dairy and fish products and alcohol cannot be put on the table. The commemoration should be strictly Lenten - this will bring great benefits to yourself, and especially to your late dad.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! Tell me what to do with the bed on which my mother died, and with the clothes in which she lay? Some advise to burn almost with the bed, others say, wash and use. I would like to give it to a home for the disabled, but I don’t know how to do it right so as not to harm myself and people.

Natalia

Natalia, after death, the soul of the deceased goes through ordeals and needs help, this is our and church prayer, almsgiving not only with money, but also with things, "almsgiving saves from death and covers many sins." It is best to wash and bless your mother’s things (you can sprinkle Holy water yourself at home) and distribute to those in need, either use it yourself or throw it away - but I don’t think you need to burn it, it’s too much. Of course, underwear should not be given to anyone, it is indecent.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! The anniversary of my grandmother's death (year) falls on March 17, Sunday. Tell me, is it possible to arrange a memorial service? Thank you very much.

Elena

Elena, of course, you can make a commemoration on this day, especially since this is the last day before Lent. First of all, it is necessary to celebrate prayerfully in the temple, pray for the Liturgy for the deceased, order a memorial service. A memorial meal can be made, but without meat products. According to the church charter, you can’t eat meat at Shrove Tuesday, you can eat any products except meat.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, dear father, my mother died on February 15 at 8.30 in the morning. Tell me, please, does the 40th day fall on Monday, March 25, or is it still on Tuesday, March 26? Is it possible to make a wake on Sunday, March 24?

Oksana

Oksana, the day of death is considered the first day from which 40 days are counted, which means the 40th day will be March 25th. This is a great strict fast, which means that the table must be strictly fast: without meat, dairy and fish products and without alcohol. The deceased needs prayer, and this is the main thing. On March 25, you must definitely order a memorial service, a custom-made note of repose for the Liturgy, and pray at home yourself. It would be nice to go to the cemetery to the deceased that day. The meal itself can be done on Sunday, March 24, but fasting.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello dear fathers. My mother died, never having time to confess or take communion. She went to church, submitted notes and ordered various requests for others. However, she never went to confession. I know for sure that she expressed her desire to confess and take communion, but because of the hustle and bustle and concern for the household, she was not going to do it. I invited the priest to visit her in the intensive care unit, but he did not take her to communion, since her mouth was already sealed and tubes were sticking out everywhere. The priest said that she would wake up, but this did not happen. My question is: is it possible to hope for the salvation of my mother’s soul if she did not receive communion, but before her death she managed to reconcile with everyone, prayed, devoted her whole life to caring for others?

Tatiana

Yes, Tatyana, you can hope for the salvation of your mother’s soul, but please don’t leave her, and support her in prayer, submit notes for the Liturgy for her and order funeral services - litias and memorial services.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)